What makes a woman "traditional" anymore anyway? Anonymous 11128
I started thinking about this after reading through the tradthot thread on lc.
What do you consider to be a traditional woman? What makes a woman secure in her femininity?
I feel like nobody can agree on this because gender roles are being questioned and there doesn't seem to be a concise agreement on what femininity even is anymore. It also seems to vary by culture and household.
So, yeah, your thoughts?
Probably close to what /r/redpillwomen refer to as traditional feminine values. Provided of course that she is in a relationship with a man that has traditionally masculine values so that the dynamics can work and they can create a nuclear family unit.
I was born and raised in a mildly traditional environment. Even though my mom had gotten a divorce, and had a good job, everything else taught was traditional.
If your husband cheats on you, then you're free to find a good man, but not to sleep around. You don't need to be anyone's carpet or whatnot. you can be independent, while keeping values as love for god, kindness, modesty, obedience (for god, then your husband, then parents). You must value life (no abortion), be nice to children (maternal), and volunteer whenever you can. These are the qualities of a traditional woman.
I had no idea what redpill anything meant 2-3 years ago before stumbling upon LC and getting to understand better how it works, but I enjoy the way I was raised. Being traditional, in our world, means abstaining from sexual activity before marrying (because of god), being a good person, and understanding that if you have a husband he has the last word. However if one cheats that means they broke what marriage means and you can divorce to find another man who will value you the way you should be valued since you have a great behavior and great qualities. She can be financially independent if she's a divorced mom or if her husband doesn't make enough, but ultimately he's the "head" of the relationship unless he screws up big time.
Before anyone comes to bully me - this is how I was taught in my religious community and family. If you disagree it's fine. I don't agree with every little bit myself, but I for sure do as a whole.
Do you think the modern trad community is forgiving towards those who had sex prior to marriage (not slutting, but genuinely thought they'd be with that person forever and then was dumped)?
Great outlook in my opinion, why would anyone bully you.
Although, if your husband is obviously wrong about something it's usually right to let him know and talk about it. Him having the last word doesn't mean he cant take criticism when applicable.
If he cheats or otherwise disrespects you in a serious way (like beat you/emotional violence or w/e) he obviously broke the marital agreement before you and God (if you are religious), you definitely divorce without a doubt.>>11132
From what I've read online and from some of my guy friends, yeah they are not hell-bent on virginity as the be-all end-all.
Unless you want a guy from 4chan, then you might be out of luck!
My religious community, no. Having sex prior to marriage is always shameful no matter your gender. It's the same for girls though. You can be forgiven and come back "clean" in a way. The same applies for both genders.
I said no bully because it's hard for me to talk about this IRL. People think I'm judging their lifestyle when they actively ask me stuff about mine. So when I tell them, they get pissy. Idk. I'm glad you enjoyed what I wrote. My mom's religion has many problems, but i enjoy some of its aspects.
I forgot to add you CAN get a divorce if he physically hurts you/your children, prevents you from serving God, or makes you and your kids starve on purpose. You can get a divorce, but not get married unless one of them cheats. I never understood that part right so I would rather not explain it, but I know it's possible if it's physically abusive.
I've always imagined the people who really care about virginity are either extremely religious in the wrong way or an insecure virgin.
I think the reason why they're so big on virginity can tend to be an ego thing.
If you have your first time with a woman, she will supposedly link all of her sexual experiences to you.
All I agree with the insecurity, because there is this myth that being a virgin with no standards yet makes you unable to tell if someone has poor sex skills or none at all.
Another reason why they're so insecure is if a woman had been deflowered by someone who isn't you, then they're afraid of her leaving her now partner somehow. Probably because they have this bizarre belief and don't hold women to the same standards as men.
Sometimes it's none of the two. Maybe they're just overly romantic or had a religious upbringing.
My image of the ultimate tradwife is someone who can meet the high standards in Proverbs 31 for the wife of noble character.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031:10-31
>Wakes up early to make food for her household>Is physically fit and does domestic chores and manual labor to benefit her family>Generous to the poor and needy>Takes care of her appearance and dresses well>Contributes to her household's financial income>Strong, wise dignified, kind, good sense of humor>Doesn't laze around all day and stays productive>Happy>Loves God
Really high standards but not impossible to meet with a lot of hard work and dedication, I think it's a good roadmap for how to become the ultimate tradwaifu.
In my case virginity comes from my romantic ideals. I want someone who has only ever been with me – and I gpt that. It's not because I'm insecure or egomaniacal. It's about being incredibly especial to someone who was unsure of doing it with anyone else but you.
I don't like it when people lump together the people who give virginity so much importance. Everyone has a different reason to why they like it. I'm glad my bf was a 20 year old somethings when we met, but if he wasn't, I'd probably be with him anyway because of his great qualities, even though I'd be a bit disappointed. It varies.
I remember that passage. Let's tie that to what we're talking here; if you have a SO, are you waiting to have sex? It kills me when religious folks babble a lot about this and that but don't follow omg of God's most basic laws which is abstinence. God does not change to please you.
I'm too lazy to click the link rn but that's the one who tells people not to gossip too?
It's probably more of a dominance thing like he's claimed you before anyone else, psychologically at least.
The preference is biologically hard-wired and is evolutionarily reinforced, but I won't bore you with that.
Well I was an atheist when I met my bf but then I converted, we stopped having premarital sex (he was my first partner), then resumed having sex a year later after we got married. It was hard to hold off and we weren't always successful especially because that was already a part of our relationship that we suddenly had to stop but we tried, and I think it made our relationship stronger to get through that.
>>11147>Atheist finds god>Decides it's better to stop fucking>Only messes up sometimes>Because penises slip into vaginas randomly when a couple are together
Religious or not it's pretty difficult when you both want to bone and really enjoy having sex, you mostly hang out in each other's bedrooms to play video games, and your partner respects your desire to not have premarital sex but also doesn't hold that as a personal value for themself. Especially when you're a new convert trying to make sudden behavior changes to things that were deeply ingrained habits. We went a record of 6 months without boning though, that's not ideal but we did try. It's pretty hard to suddenly try to develop self control when you're a sexaholic.
>>11134>Unless you want a guy from 4chan, then you might be out of luck!
Lmao wasn't even on my mind. I just think of my parents and how they had me before they were married and I found out a few months ago that my mom had two abortions after me because she and my dad didn't feel they could afford another being only 18 and 19 respectively.
These kind of threads are hard for me to read. It seems to me like a lot of people on here and lc see being trad as a positive thing. Growing up with parents that believe in being trad was quite a nightmare. It's easy to be "non-judgmental" to other people, but I feel like it is a totally different story when these kinds of people have children.
From what I have gathered, the core of a traditional women is being submissive to a male figure, whether it be her father/husband, hell, even her son(s). I don't believe equality is possible in that dynamic, even though the women is choosing to submit. My mom acted like a redpilled person her whole life and clung to those beliefs, even though my father and her brothers clearly never took her that seriously despite the fact they all agreed with her. She would voice her opinions and although my dad would "consider" them as a good trad husbando is supposed to, rarely did he act on her opinions.
I'm not saying trad women are doormats, and I don't necessarily think my mother was one, but I feel like it is very easy to become that. >>11134>if your husband is obviously wrong about something it's usually right to let him know and talk about it. Him having the last word doesn't mean he cant take criticism when applicable.
Letting a man know he's wrong or critiquing him doesn't mean he has to genuinely do anything about it. At the end of the day, you have to submit to him because you are married to him.
But hey, at least you're being faithful to your husband. You just have to accept that he knows better.
In my upbringing, you never divorced your husband unless he was actively cheating on you and didn't plan to stop. If he was physically abusing you, that was probably due to something you were doing (like not being understanding enough) and you just needed to work on your relationship. >>11135
In my religious community, it was the same way, although I felt like it was more shameful for a girl to come out that way than it was for a man, still.
Very few people on lc see trad as being a positive thing so I have no idea which threads you've been reading because they've been mocked since 2015 with that /tradfem/ thread over in /pt/.
Being trad was never good around lc I really don't know what alternative reality people may be talking about.
>>11156>Growing up with parents that believe in being trad was quite a nightmare.
I'm sorry you had that experience, anon… I think I had a good upbringing in this lifestyle, though. That's why I want to live this way, because I've seen it and I know it works well.
Not her, but just like having parents who give you an opposite treatment (too much freedom, no rules at all), the outcome can be very different. I'm glad for my mildly traditional upbringing too. There are times when I don't get along or agree with my family, but in general I'm very thankful for the way I was raised for who I am inside. I doubt I'd be this person without the way they raised me.
Maybe the one or two replies in the tradthots thread which claim to be by tradgirls. It's odd, too. I follow tradblogs on Tumblr and they're married with children or engaged, Christian, and they don't at all care for chan types. https://femininecatholic.tumblr.com/post/170128685739/finding-a-good-traditionalist-blog-finding-out
And they especially aren't fond of being fetishized by the alt-right.
Cute girl and nice blog, I didn't even know there was a community for this on tumblr. Who else do you follow? Maybe I've been living under a rock but I didn't even know there was an online community for young weeb wives who love Jesus and anime girls.
It's interesting you note this because my father grew up in a conservative christian home, but they were very free with what their kids were allowed to do. My mother also grew up very "free", too, and she converted to Christianity because of my dad. My siblings and I grew up isolated from the world and the main people we knew growing up were only family and people from our church (and even at our church we were considered odd because of all the normal things we weren't allowed to do).
Yep! There's actually a whole quiet little community over there if you look under the femininity and traditional tags or use tags that the others use.
I will caution that you will indeed find wives who are happily submissive in the bible sense. Some people get very bothered by that, but it's not my relationship so I don't care.
There's submittedwife, traditional-femininity, gentle-femininity, marcimom2. Also try the Christian or homemaking tag.
Also, to make it clear, I'm glad my parents never divorced, cheated on each other, etc.
I just mean their insistence on women being traditional wasn't fun to grow up in for me. Maybe part of the key is "mildly traditional".
It's also worth noting my mother, though definitely a "trad wife", was not feminine in her interests (well, unless God is considered a feminine interest) and certainly didn't defend "feminine things" if they were being shitted on. I felt very inferior as a girl growing up and wanted to be a man more than anything because I felt very limited since, simply put, women don't lead in my parents' minds (unless they are leading strictly other women), like it all, and it was considered negative by my parents that girls were in leadership positions at "fallen churches" and at schools.
Good looking, loyal and follows commands to a t apparently.
That's kind of sad and taking things too far in my mind. Even at the most traditional old-school Catholic schools the teachers are all nuns and the administrators are all women, and girls are encouraged to take up leadership positions like run for student council president.
I don't have anything agaisnt traditional women and I actually much prefer them to the new crazy feminist wave, but it's so funny how everyone seems to forget about the "no sex before marriage" part of the Bible.
It's ALWAYS the perfect thing to say if you're non-religious and a religious person is bothering you with these things.
Honestly I don't know how anyone is supposed to be able to live as a "traditional" woman. If myself and my boyfriend didn't work full time jobs, we wouldn't be able to afford rent. And that's as two people who have good jobs and get paid well above the minimum wage. We might be able to afford a house before the age of 60 (maybe). I can't even imagine having children on top of that to feed, clothe and pay to have a good education and getting to play dress up and interior designer in the house.
The only possible way I can imagine this lifestyle working out for a woman is if she married someone older and very rich and there's an incredible power imbalance there. I don't know why anyone would want that. Also this kind of lifestyle just further encourages men to be the lazy fucks they already are, letting them get away with not doing the dirty work around the house and promoting the idea that they shouldn't even have to in the first place. It's such a massive leap back for all the work women did for feminism worldwide to gift you the choice of living as a "traditional" woman (because they realised how shitty that lifestyle is lmao).
Anyone who thinks giving up the freedom of having their own income, having the ability to control how their own house is run or having bodily autonomy in favour of some 50s nightmare needs to have more respect for themselves tbh.
Do you take special classes on that tired old word-vomit or do they supply coursebooks? I swear to god it's even the same phraseology every single time.
Being a 3rd wave feminist is being axiomatically unhappy, I get that, but do you have to demean other womens' life choices? What about clitoral mutilation in Pakistan? These are the women whose husbands and fathers you are readily inviting into Europe, coincidentaly. Is that not a more pressing issue? What about hijabs everywhere you look in London? All the feminists collectively had a change of heart and instead find it more important to demean women that choose to live traditionally, whatever that entails? Somehow femininity is demeaning now? Are they gender-traitors for wanting to raise children?
That's not very feminist of you.
Cognitive dissonance is one hell of a drug, and before you start looking up Barbra Spectre quotes to rebut me, I won't even engage you. The state of is imageboard is surprisingly no better than lc.
You won't know until it hits you in the face, but I will let you in on it for the heck of it anyway. You have been indoctrinated, honey. You listen to your professors in college and you succumb to peer pressure to ensure group cohesion and you've rationalized that it's all just and right. You might use mental gymnastics or you might outright deflect, but you won't take initiative. You are probably too lazy too read evolutionary biology, clinical psychology, neurology, logic. After all, feminism is digestible, appeals to emotion, takes advantage of your insecurities and completely frees you of agency and responsibility. Why address obvious ideologic discrepancies when you can project everything to your boogeyman? Why challenge obvious biases and total disregard for Quantitative research when you can just make blanket statements and generalizations that are easy to memorize? It's all about feelings, after all, facts are misogynistic.
Okay, and with that, I am out.
It depends on where you live, it's probably not possible somewhere with a high cost of living like silicon valley unless you're married to a millionaire software developer or something but there are still plenty of affordable places for middle class people in the US. I live in a blue collar area and we can afford a mortgage on a good home in a good school district on just my husband's $45k salary. I'm working right now to help save for a down payment on a house but I plan to be a stay at home mom when kids come into the picture. If everything goes according to plan we'll probably have a house by the end of this year. Housewives here commonly have 3-6 kids because the cost of living is so low and they can afford it and they start in their 20s. Not bragging, just trying to stay there are still lots of places even in the US where you can still live this lifestyle if that's what you want to do.
It's almost impossible to be a traditional housewife in 2018. You need to be lucky to have a rich husband, live in your own house (rent is usually expensive), etc.
It's hard, man. I really want it, but realistically speaking I know it's almost impossible for a myriad of reasons, most $$$$$ related.
>The only possible way I can imagine this lifestyle working out for a woman is if she married someone older and very rich and there's an incredible power imbalance there. I don't know why anyone would want that.
I'm the anon who is bitching about my trad upbringing and this actually isn't true. My father and mother both worked for a while, but by the time my mom had children, my dad had risen through the company he was working with enough that she could stay home from then on. That was when my mom was around 29/30. Most trad lifestyles that I've seen do allow the woman to work if need be, but children and "her home" is supposed to be her first priority.
> I can't even imagine having children on top of that to feed, clothe and pay to have a good education and getting to play dress up and interior designer in the house.
Homeschooling cut costs by a lot. My parents almost almost never bought clothes for my siblings and me, and nearly all the clothes I wore were hand-me-downs. My parents also rarely bought us fast food (for the longest time I thought McDonald's was an actual nice restaurant because of the lack of exposure to other food venues). It's doable if one partner has a STEM-related job, it's just that costs have to be cut where people think x is a necessity when in reality, it's not.
> Also this kind of lifestyle just further encourages men to be the lazy fucks they already are, letting them get away with not doing the dirty work around the house and promoting the idea that they shouldn't even have to in the first place.
This is definitely true. I feel like even if a theoretical trad husband had "good" intentions at first in a trad relationship that after time, certain aspects of the relationship would erode and give way. I feel like this is what happens when you tell a man, "now go respect your wife and always consider her input, but remember, house decisions are yours to make". After so many decisions of him deciding and his wife submitting because she wants to be a proper wife, it would be an actual human miracle if he truly did listen to her because he feels confident that he has the power to make decisions and his wife doesn't, and even if she did, she couldn't…which, imo is inequality.
>It's such a massive leap back for all the work women did for feminism worldwide to gift you the choice of living as a "traditional" woman (because they realised how shitty that lifestyle is lmao).
IA, especially when trad women start talking about how much happier they are than working women as if they made the better choice. It's shitty to be indoctrinated (I don't mean this to apply to all women who want to be trad, I mean how I was raised) to think that no matter what you want to do in life, your role is defined and that you must succumb to that role instead of living your life as you want to. >>11215>>11213
It's actually disgusting how you rationalize to yourself that people who disagree with you are simply "indoctrinated" and you act as if you know the world's truths because you self-research.
It's not impossible, you just might need to move.https://www.cnbc.com/2017/07/11/americas-10-cheapest-states-to-live-in-2017.html
I live in a state not even on this list where the average income for the neighborhood is $60k and the starting price for a modest not-ghetto home you'd actually want to live in is $200k. There are pockets of affordable decent places everywhere in the USA (unless you want to live in Hawaii.)
Thanks anon, but I'm not from the USA. I can't really see that happening here unless we decided to live under the poverty line.
My fiance's family is from Chile and.. no, its not impossible. Like, its pretty common.
I guess Im what can be considered a "traditional housewife". Yes my husband has a good job, kids go to int'l private schools, I dont work etc etc. It is a comfortable life but I'm bored to death, and besides taking care of the kids, I feel useless as hell. Also theres always that little voice in my mind that says "what if you get divorced? How would you ever be able to work again and afford the same lifestyle"?
My only saving grace is that while all the other housewives around me have maids to do house work and take care of the kids, I do it all by myself. Why? Because I was raise by maids and I would hate my kids to be raised like that. Also I'm sure I would feel much more useless if I didnt cook, etc.
Forgot to add: All women in my family (before me) were " traditional housewives" (to the point that I was the first woman in my family to actually work/ go to uni). They were all loaded so didnt have to move a finger to do anything. Needless to say even though it might seem otherwise, they didn't live happy lives.
I want to be a "traditional" woman so badly. I want to be a mom and housewife. Even though I successfully went to uni (Teaching School) and have a job, I'd definitely quit if my husband could support us and I felt he truly loved me. I may be just a romantic fool, but that's how I feel. I know it will never happen and that I'm destined to a life of work and stress, childless and bitter. I'm glad other women don't need this to feel complete, but I do, even though I have a pretty normal/okay life. I've never had sex with a man and want my prince charming to be my only. I'm 25 now and my life is so different than my grandmother's… Which is good and bad. My grandfather cheated on her so much. I'd want to be with someone trustworthy… And even though I know there is a small amount of trustworthy men out there, it feels like a loving, honest, monogamous man is so hard to find. I have a boyfriend right now, and I love him deeply and hope to marry him someday, but he's not traditionally manly because he suffers from anxiety (no job, talking to people is hard, etc). Even if he magically transformed, I doubt we could live decently without me working too. I'm trying to readjust because I love him, but this isn't my ideal. However I do know I'd probably never get to my ideal anyway…
I hope the best for everyone itt, especially the girls who ache for a more traditional life.
Is it impossible for you to get a part-time job or something?
I'm from Brazil and that's pretty much impossible here, even in small rural areas it could be a bit hard (I'm from a big city)… What part of Chile is he from? A small town, I assume…? Countryside? Sorry if I'm asking too many questions!
>>11239>he's not traditionally manly because he suffers from anxiety (no job, talking to people is hard, etc)
That was my husband almost ten years ago when we first started dating, now he makes more than twice as much as I do in a STEM career. Give him your love and support and maybe you can help him grow. It's not hopeless anon!
I will, anon. Thank you for sharing! I love him very much, I really want it to work out.
I definitely think it will if he's committed to trying to change his situation for your sake and his own. I hope it works out for you guys. <3
The ideal traditional housewife seems to me to the product of very specific economic circumstances. My grandmother and great grandmother were very traditional housewives but I don't think they are what young trad women aspire to. They weren't JUST housewives, they also both worked because it was absolutely necessary that they and their children contribute financially for the family's well being and even then it often wasn't enough. 'Housewife' was just as aspirational then as it is now. I think everyone kind of idolizes the 1950s but it was economically such a different era it may well have been an anomaly.
I think a lot of people also forget that 'traditionally' it wasn't JUST the women staying home. This whole idea of the man leaving home every day to go to work is a product of industrialism, there were entirely different ways of family organization prior that kept both husband and wife in the home. Either by way of craft economy (where the home was the major economic unit wherein goods were produced) or because both husband and wife would labor alongside in the fields. Industrialism was bad for families in many ways and removed a lot of worker agency.
Why isn't there a similiar movement to get men back in the home with their families either?
>>11247>Why isn't there a similiar movement to get men back in the home with their families either?
He was born in Los angeles, Chile. But he makes money as a web developer in the pacific northwest. His parents are from small towns. Getting any job that is in high demand will enable you to do things you like, especially if you both budget your stuff right.
I see. Still that situation is very specific. It's a lot harder if you and your family are from a huge ass city, with tons of young people competing in the same field, even if a popular one. You need to be lucky and hard working. I'm glad he managed to find success though!
Thanks for answering!
Havent worked in almost 10 years…I'm also living in a country that has a main-language that I cant speak…so yeah. But I would definitely jump to the opportunity of having a part time job, thats all I want to be honest
Huh, its weird how Brasil is so different from all the others South American countries. I can attest that , besides Chile, Argentina Peru, Colombia , even Bolivia have lots of "traditional housewives" with only the husband working. I dont know about Ecuador and the other ones cause I havent been there a lot/dont know people from there.
I have family in Ecuador and it depends on where you live but it's pretty common. And most everyone has a maid because it's so cheap. (I would not live in Ecuador if you're a gringo though.)
That sounds really socially isolating. No wonder you're bored. That sucks anon. It wouldn't get you out of the house but have you thought about work from home opportunities being a search engine evaluator at Leapfrog/Appen or doing a virtual call center job? It's project based so it's not consistent work but it's decent money.
I want to be a cute housewife ;_;
I wish i could be a housewife but living in Brazil is a pain if you're not some rich guy's daughter or wife. Even if i marry and have kids and take care of the house and all i'd probably still have to work my ass off(which is not ideal) even with a husband's income.
Ngghn can i get a better national economy situation for christmas already?
Damn, anon. Me too. Here's a gif that not many other people will understand but us BRfags. Força, garota.>>11256
When I was younger I thought the only real difference was the language barrier, but it's not. I'd move to a spanish speaking country if I found a "guapo" loving hubby though.
To all the other girls in this thread, I have a question:
A couple years ago my then boyfriend wanted me to move to the country where he was living. It's a super rich and mega safe country compared to ours (we're from the same city).
I didn't go for a myriad of reasons even though I did love him. But in your case, would you?
I was very young (19ish), had no college education, didn't speak the country's language (I'd eventually learn it, but still), had zero friends there but his mom and sis, my own mom was against it along with the rest of my family, and he wasn't mature in many aspects.
But I'd have been able to live my dream of being a cute housewife who works from home and all, and have a child because he definitely wants one.
Would you have taken it? How BADLY do you want it? And if >>11255
can explain what happened to her that led her to this situation I'd like to hear it if it's not asking too much. In my case I guess I did the right thing because he has been unemployed for a while and the last thing I've heard from him is that he lost his visa too after being there for over ten years…he is now living without a Visa, and hasn't been kicked out because according to him he has family there who have visas (but they're from our country too, so I don't get it… I think he might have lied but eh). His current life seems so stale, unfortunately. Don't let this piece of future information affect your decision though.
Japan? You're almost living my ideal life, anon.
You did right. This is going to sound superficial/cold but do NOT make a huge move like that without being married. Because he can just drop your ass when he feels like it and you'll be none the wiser and penniless.
>And if >>11255 can explain what happened to her that led her to this situation I'd like to hear it if it's not asking too much.
Met him while I was working at one of the top 10 US companies (so it is not like I wasn't doing well myself), while he was adding "something extra" to his white-collar profession (don't want to give out too much info). Before getting pregnant we talked about what would we do when the baby came and decided he would stay working and I would focus on the kids. Quit my job one month before giving birth and that was the end of it. I was a workaholic and loved working, but I wanted to be able to raise my kids all by myself and not make the same mistakes my mother, her mother , her mother, etc etc made. >>11289
Lol love how you assumed it was Japan because I said I dont speak the language. We did live there for a couple of years, then moved to a couple other countries and now we are planning on moving back this year or the next.
I 100% agree with the other poster that it's a bad idea to make a move like that unless you're married. Even for married couples it's a stressful decision to make. Like I know a guy who went to China to be a stay at home dad for his wife who was originally from there and he hated it so much they eventually made the decision to move back to America. It sucks being in another country with no friends where you don't speak the language.
Ty anon, we'll get thru this.
Though i think i'll move and get a better life somewhere once i have enough money, then maybe the housewife dream can come true.
>>11273>very young>no college education>didn't speak the country's language>zero friends>housewife
Christ no. You would have been totally isolated and even if your bf had good intentions, that's a seriously dangerous situation. For the first few years, you wouldn't be able to go anywhere without him as a translator and you'd have nobody but his family to speak to if you had a problem.
All I want
My ideal is to be a housewife/stay-at-home mom and author. I love keeping house, cooking, nurturing and the like, and I feel like being a mother is my "calling"
But I'm also studying to become a PA right now. Those two don't seem to mix..
BF is 6 years my senior, is a software engineer, makes enough to support both of us. But I have never brought up the fact that I'd prefer a traditional dynamic. I don't even know how to address it
Just bring it up and see how he reacts? Whatever happens it would be smart to finish your education to have something to fall back on, so there's no harm in just seeing how he feels about it.
Question for everyone: can a person be truly "traditional" without adhering to some kind of traditional religious/spiritual beliefs?
I think so. Maybe she just likes the housewife dream.
That actually happened to me and it wasn't super tragic since I didn't intend it, we were pretty equal in the relationship and he's a genuinely honest guy but I got really lonely and depressed since the place was really sparsely populated and the locals were very closed off and only made friends at parties whilst getting sloshed. I went back to college and it turned out alright, I made some friends there and later broke up with my ex (we're still on good terms, it was mutual) but it was exhausting for the both of us and we had to grow up very quickly and learn how to work together.
Many east asians are non religious yet still adhere to traditional lifestyles. I live in Vancouver and thats the case for much of the Chinese, Pinoy, Korean, and Japanese people here. Some are Christian but many have no religious affiliation.
I dunno, maybe this is just me but I think passing on some set of ancient beliefs and customs whether it's one of the major religions or pagan beliefs to the next generation is more traditional than what kind of lifestyle you and your spouse have. Having orthodox religious beliefs is becoming something of an anachronism in developed nations, but even if the couple believes the wife not working is what's preferable a bad economic situation could dictate whether the wife has to go to work.
Please elaborate of the types of traditions lifestyles they lead.
being introverted and somewhat family-oriented is enough for people to call east asians "traditional" for some reason
Again, where I live its normal.
My household is Italian and Japanese descent.
Even my fiance's family adheres to such as putting the man of the house first, only the women do the cleaning, cooking, and shopping. Twice a week are dinner parties with family and family friends where you're expected to dress your best, make conversation with everyone who comes though never about yourself for more than five minutes, and if you do what my fiance's brother is doing like being poly then you're not welcome back into the house. You're not invited to any dinners, you are not even contacted for anything. Some households are "okay" with gay problems in the sense that they don't care if they get married and its only a problem if it happens in their own family. Some people don't care at all because they're parachute kids who are here to get a degree and then go back to China, so they aren't here to be your friend or care about anything you're fighting for.
There is a 'my house is your house' sense when guests are over even if they're friends from your parent's teen years who you've never met and only heard of. Its about being the best host you can be and if its a choice of the guest has to sleep on one of the sofas or your bed, you're expected to give up your bed and go sleep on the sofa. Same in the car; Only authority sits in the two front seats or guests. My ex's mother actually pitched a fit when her nephew didn't get out of the front seat and give it up to her.
We aren't introverted just because we mostly stay with our own or the closest thing to. Go to Metrotown, go to Coquitlam, go to Richmond and you'll see people in cafes, in parks, at sporting events. And 'some-what', again, varies from household to household. People seem to have this misconception that traditional means wearing bonnets and picking chard while barefoot and I think it comes from an American compulsion to assign things in absolutes.
If the answer isn't good enough for you, then it is what it is. I felt like I had to respond because your post seemed passive aggressive for no reason. Maybe your house isn't the same as mine but its not a reason to be shirty.
You didn't answer the question at all. Nobody asked about your family. We were talking about the asian population in vancouver that you brought up.
I really want a trad life style… what would you recommend? should I make a penpal account and try luck with some guapo latino guy?
I want the same thing. I wish I knew the answer, anon
Won't recommend middle-east, and especially any arabian/muslim country. If you ever hated men, you'll look for ones there you'll hate them x100 more.
Even if you want that kind of life that badly it's not worth it imo.
I want a reverse-traditional family so badly. I actually know a family like this (mom works and dad stays at home to care for the kids) and witnessing someone close to me live that dream made it even more real for me. She isn't even working a job that pays six figures (she's a nurse in Canada), yet they're relatively comfortable. Entering the field I'm working towards could make double her income by the time I'm 30, so I'm sure I could definitely manage to support at least my husband.
I just hope to find a guy who would be okay with this and not be a lazy ass. Even if he worked from home (as a writer/artist/something) it would be nice to always have him there. Both for home care and in case of an emergency.
idk! I just want to spoil a guy and come home to a hug and kiss everyday, and then a hug and kiss from our child if we have one.
Where does a man find a tradwife within the USA? Where does a woman find a tradhusband within the USA?
Probably through religious communities that emphasize family and marital conformity.
yes it does kek. every tradlife woman grins and bears it.
>>15967>>15983submission =/= being treated like shit
>>15994Submissive does mean you'll be treated like shit especially if you put your trust in a "traditional man"
NTA but I disagree. I grew up in a Christian community that values "traditional" ideals and men are very respectful towards their wives. I'm not part of the community anymore due to other reasons, but not submissives doesn't always mean you will be treated badly.
Of course they'll put on an act and try to make it seem like they're respectful to the outside world but it's never like that. If you want to buy the act go for it.
Over here "traditional men" can put on the act too and when something is wrong and/or they treat their wife badly it's the wife's fault according to them and they're always the perfect ones, so if that's what you meant sure they're respectful.
More like capitalism privatized household labor that was already undervalued.
Why would making housework easier be a problem? That means that the people who have been historically in charge of it can devote their time to more things, except capitalism says that they sell their time on the market to make a wage in order to pay someone else to raise children or do housework (But most end up working and doing the housework).
Working outside the home due to lack of satisfaction from the ease of housework is not the reason why women entered the workforce. Nor did they do it to "adopt the male gender role."
Maybe if men didn't get power trips and start feeling like he owns a woman that he made financially dependent on him as well as forcing sex out of her and even getting abusive, most women wouldn't feel the need to get jobs and support themselves
But lets say the modern men can easily get a job and a housewife, they already cry their fucking eyes out about how a woman is a gold digger if she asks for a drink at a gas station, modern men arent emotionally stable enough to keep a housewife
You treat people like shit they rebel and want to do things for themselves, why it blows your mind is beyond me
What exactly do you think submission is if it's not based on the premise that one person always knows better than the other? Do you think that's respectful?
'Submission' as a permanent state of being is inherently disrespectful. It works under the assumption that one person has more right than the other to make decisions, is always more correct than the other, and always deserves more power than the other. It's a position of inferiority that apparently doesn't change no matter how infallible the 'dominant' partner is, how incorrect they might be in certain situations. Why marry a person who needs to be told what to do to begin with? Adults should be able to use their brains to make rational decisions and defend themselves with logical justification if anyone questions it. I don't see it as necessary for a traditional relationship at all, which is really just about the division of labour.
b-b-but how will i feel good about myself and morally superior??
you do know most women have always worked throughout history right? the housewife is a modern middle class thing
>tfw I feel like being a mother is my calling
>tfw all my female friends think I'm "weird"
Why not just marry a normal guy from your country with a well-paying STEM career? You probably would have some things in common with a guy like that anyway (weeb stuff, video games, etc.) That's what I did and it's working out.
Literally Proverbs 31, that's the only unwavering definition of a good woman that I've seen.
It paints a picture of a strong and individualized woman that knows what she is with a lot of noble traits, whether you believe or not.
There are lots of far left and far right alternatives these days, of course, but they vary so much that they all end up cannibalizing each other in the end; or at the very least coming into conflict when their idea of "right" butts up against that of another…
That's pretty common where I live. Unless one spouse is working an overnight shift so someone can always be home with the baby, daycare is so expensive that the spouse who earns less stays home so one partner's income isn't totally wasted on babysitting anyway and it's often the man. I have a lot of coworkers with househusbands.
do you know who the artist who drew this is? it's so cute, i want to see more of their work.
what would be the charasteristics of "trad bf"?
I can't even imagine
>>16677>works hard labour>wants children>BIG>takes responsibility for everything>thinks his woman belongs at home>dresses in nothing but suspenders>probably a farmhand>stupid
Yes but you just have to click the image and it will look normal.
nta but what is the sauce of this pic?
This sounds like the ideal bf tbh
Just realised something.>trad>bf
In first-world modern day countries, I'd say someone who has a well-paying career and likes fulfilling the role of financial provider for the family. Has or wants a partner who wants to fulfill the full-time caregiver role at least while the kids are very young and need more supervision. Regardless of which gender is filling which role this is the dynamic I've found in families who made the intentional choice of one parent staying at home and are happy with their family dynamic.
Unless they're in the Big Ag industry in the heartlands where there's good money to be made, I think someone like that is more likely to be in a high-paying field like IT/engineering, medicine, real estate, etc than being a cowboy.
Big enough to fill you with just a pinky.
So the fictional character Thanos or the real but sadly deceased Andre the Giant?
Come on. You're not that
big inside, anon, unless I'm talking to a porn star. Just big enough that a pinky will fill you before you're too "excited".
Nah I agree with you actually for the most part except for as the other anon said, you gotta let your guy know when he’s doing something that isn’t right in the same way that he would let you know. Open communication is key. So even though he has the last word, you guys get to that decision together by both coming up with ideas and solutions.
I’m a Pentacostal Christian and Latin American so I come from a pretty tradtional background. Although sex before marriage is a big no no, we wouldn’t shame you for it if you did it before coming to Christ. What happens in the past stays in the past since God forgave us for those sins. Even if you’re already in the church and you do that and people came to know then there would probably be gossip around the church but they won’t cast you out or publicy shame your or anything. The pastors will probably have a talk with you on what you did wrong. Also if you’re involved in something, such as the choir, they would remove you.
For me it’s both religious and personal reasons. Religious because premarital sex is considered a sin. Personal because I don’t feel like I can just give myself away like that to anyone, he would have to be someone special. I know it makes me sound childish or naive but it’s how I feel. Although I have definitely been tempted to lose my virginity several times. It’s hard to wait and many people have told me it’s stupid since I should find out if I’m compatible with the person before I get married but I prefer to wait.
Back off, she tried. Sometimes we slip up.
I totally get you, I personally believe that although the man is the head of the house, the decision making process should be one where both have a say. Think of it as the husband being the leader and the wife as the second in command (the children even if they are male and adults will be beneath the wife). It’s more of a partnership kinda like Batman and Robin if that makes sense.