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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 15115

this is a bit of a silly question that could easily be googled, sure, but - how do you tell if a guy is 'interested' in you? even just vaguely interested. im clueless about friendship and romantic relationships and really want my first bf.

a guy grinned at me after approaching me with his friend once and he called me a gem after, i dunno if he was just being polite or if he maybe wanted to be my friend/was interested in me. today i introduced myself/told him to call me my real name instead of my nickname though, i just wanna get on the right track to getting a boyfriend

Anonymous 15119

When you introduced yourself to him how did he react? Please explain in great details, did he want a hug? Or firm handshake?

Anonymous 15122

It was just said quickly while I was about to leave/already leaving, he had shouted "Hey -nickname that isn't related to my real name-", then after a brief interaction when I was about to leave for real I just said "Oh yeah, my names -name-, not -nickname-" then he said "You want me to call you that? Alright" then we parted ways. Kind of uneventful

Anonymous 15123

you should ask him out! what's the worst that could happen?

Anonymous 15124

If he doesn't have a gf and you ate at least average he'd probably date you if asked even if he isn't particularly interested.

Anonymous 15128

He wants to fuck you.

Anonymous 15129

Tricky! He flirts, asks about your love life, or your past love life, wants to talk to you all the time… It really depends on the man and on his intentions with you.

Anonymous 15139

you know anon, thats something i ponder over a lot about rejection. "but what if they say no.." yeah, but what if? then what? nothing terrible really comes of it

im kinda not very inclined to actually believe that, i used to believe the "women have it on ez mode and can attract any men" thing but now im a bit skeptical of it

i wouldnt want to jump to any conclusions! it is a possibility though anon

i agree with these! these make a lot of sense, asking about someones love life/past love life

Anonymous 15148

Men don't aren't riddles
Just ask him out, if you're too shy then just talk with him until he asks you to go to a coffee or some other stupid guy doublespeak for a date

Anonymous 15149

>Men don't aren't
Damn, guess I do need sleep after all

Anonymous 15151

yes anon, i am a bit of a shy/timid person especially about romance since i havent had it yet, so im just going to keep talking to him whenever i can until he makes a further move

Anonymous 15153

today he spoke to me again, just "hi (nickname) aka (real name)! what's up" which isn't much at all sure but it feels nice

Anonymous 15154

And if he's thinkingthe same thing?

Anonymous 15274

if a guy calls you a gem he's definitely interested. it's too weird a compliment to give someone. you should bounce the ball back, you can call him cutie or daddy once (try to do it in a coy and joking way), or whatever else you can think of that lets him know you're also interested in him

Anonymous 15336

I think you're approaching the question the wrong way. It's not a black and white issue of "Interested, not interested," but more of a gradient. Something like a dude having a line of attractedness above which he starts complimenting/flirting, flirting harder the higher you rank. Compliments "just" (which already is a lot to be honest) mean that he sees you as potential full-on "interested-in material" down the line. In other words, people throw around easy-going flirting all the time just to increase their romantical options for the future. Sounds calculating when put in words, but it's just how people work.
tl;dr he's interested, but it's too early to tell whether he's interested beyond a level at which he can't be bothered responding to encouragement on your behalf

Not really advice, but maybe this'll help interpret his behavior in the future

Anonymous 15349

Many men who have a crush wont be flirting with them at all if they are shy or cautious.
OP, you should try bringing on some irrelevant topic tho chat for a while and see if wants to keep at it to know if he is intersted you

Anonymous 15350

huh. since i've never had much experience with these things i never really knew or understood this, this actually gives me a lot of insight that i wouldn't have had otherwise. thanks a lot anon. i guess thats how normies can work.

that makes sense as well anon, i tend to prefer men who are more shy/lonely like i am so i'll keep this in mind as well

Anonymous 15371

RIP lurker.

Anonymous 15381

he acted friendly to me again today, approached me twice for something that may or may not have just been an excuse to approach me (won't jump to conclusions) and in the very least he's probably interested in being my friend, he shouted at me that "we're best friends right?" after making some sort of remark about me to his friends that i must have not overheard

Anonymous 15398

No anon I'm not baiting. Just don't know much about guys or how flirting works. Honestly I still believe he just wants to be my friend

Anonymous 15399

I don't want to reinforced the whole "men are animals that just want sex" meme, but a lot of them are. More importantly though the ones that aren't usually just as lonely as you. This boy sounds like he likes you, so ask him on a date.

Anonymous 15424

For some reason the idea of asking a boy out on a date sounds horrifying to me. I think next I'll ask him for his name then after that I'll ask him for his phone number or something.

Anonymous 15426

Oh. Yeah if you don't even know his name then don't go for it yet. Get to know him a little and then ask him out.

Anonymous 15477

Today he said "You really are a gem you know that" to me and he walked up to me and told me I looked lonely and invited me to stand with his friends, we didn't really talk then outside of me telling a joke they all found funny but this makes me really really happy. Maybe I'm finally going into normiehood

Anonymous 21399

update: nothing happened with this to my dismay, but just today i messaged him a joke (we're still friends - its just clear he doesnt like me like that) and he responded telling me his friend wanted to 'hit me up', and one of his friends added me and we've been conversing all day and they are very clearly into me. i hope this works out!

Anonymous 21402

good luck!

Anonymous 26600

While were on the topic, this guy at work always compliments me and is really nice to me, ive caught him staring a few times. Why hasnt he just made a move?

Anonymous 26601

because that's scary?

Anonymous 26607

Probably just scared of being rejected. If you are interested go talk to him!

Anonymous 26612

is he shy? that could be why

Anonymous 26613

Just call him a creepy weirdo and tell him to stop staring.

Anonymous 26626

The most garbage advice I've ever seen. This person is literally interested.

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