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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Grossed out by babby Thread Anonymous 25

Am I the only one thoroughly grossed out by the whole concept of motherhood, babies and especially pregnancy?

It makes me so very uncomfortable when my colleagues talk about their pregnancy and giving birth and stuff like that. Especially when they ask me when I want to become a mother (spoiler alert: This is SO not going to happen).
I also can't appreciate babies. At all. I think they look hella dumb. I hate it when people make me hold them and I have to put on that soul-splitting fake smile.
At this point I'm wondering whether I'm going down the 'genderfucked' road or having serious mommy issues…

Anonymous 27

Yes, it's called childfree. Welcome to the club OP.

If an adult treated you the way most children/babies/teenagers treat their parents it would be labeled abuse.

Why would I pay to have an abuser :)

Anonymous 30


omg this
also the whole bodily thing is so gross to me
like becoming host to a parasite
also I feel weirdly as if your life as the protagonist of your story has ended the moment you give birth and you become some hormone controlled npc
plus, the way society treats mothers makes me absolutely sick.

Anonymous 31

I find babies disgusting and children annoying and terrible overall. I'll get a hysterectomy as soon as I can, but being under 30 means I'll still have to wait.

I'm enraged when people tell me I'll change my mind with ~*Mr Right*~. Aside from never having had any maternal feelings whatsoever, I have a bunch of hereditary diseases I wouldn't want to pass on. If anything, I'd adopt, but even that is ridiculously unlikely. I couldn't date anyone who has or wants children.

Anonymous 58

I'm disgusted by babies and kids, but pregnancy is super interesting to me. I have a big sister and I was with her a lot when she was going through her pregnancy. I think it's really amazing and I somehow want to "create life", too.
But from a purely scientific viewpoint. I wish I could rent out my uterus to a couple that wants kids and later have nothing to do with whatever pops out of there afterwards.

Anonymous 59

Exactly anon. Do it for science and for the ca$$$$h

Anonymous 60

Am lesbian, partner gladly dislikes kids as much as I do.
She's even worse, because newborns and babies creep the fuck out of her to a level she needs to leave the room (according to her they just look too much like aliens and not human enough).

Dunno, there are enough people out there already anyway and I just don't see the appeal. Putting in years of your life and money into another person that might still turn out to be an asshole, no matter how hard you tried? No thanks.

We often grin at each other when we see a kid acting like a dick in public. We have more freedom, more money, can take care of each other better. Less risks too.
We don't rub it into the faces of parents, but I sometimes wish they would do the same. No, not everyone thinks having kids is the best thing ever. No, that won't change. Please except you are the only person who cares about your kid.

This >>30 too.
Sounds like a pure nightmare to me to imagine another human being growing inside me.

Anonymous 76

Tbh I can sometimes appreciate that other people have kids and it's the hot shizzle for them. My work has me talking a lot to sewing moms who make clothes for their kids and I really love how invested they are in making cute clothes for their kids and let them chose fabrics and decorations.
Also some of their kids are effing cute. One of them has a 4 year old that looks like a doll and I'm like 'wow u made such a pretty thing 10/10 good craft'. However I am glad that I don't have to interact with the kids. I always feel really awkward around kids like wtf r u even. What is ur business. Why are u crying now. Oh my god u are such a narcissistic waste of space stop being so self-absorbed. Also please don't touch me u are a literal booger manufacture

Anonymous 77

I'm 21 and never held a baby, the looks people give me lol

I really don't like babies and small children. Not only are they kind of gross, I also have no idea how to talk to them. Do they understand the basic concepts yet? Are the words I'm using too complicated? Am I being a bad influence etc.

Wouldn't mind having my own child one day. But with the current situation in the world, idk really. You can't exactly control how they'll turn out.

Why aren't human babies as cute as the children of other animals? I mean come on, the majority of people are repulsed of our own offspring lol

Anonymous 79

This so hard
I love kitten and puppies I could cry with joy when I look at them but babies are like don't touch me lolbye

I also think they smell so gross
Not only when they poop but all the time

Anonymous 89


Family life sounds super boring, especially if the family is pretty young, being tied down permanently by little people totally dependent on you sounds depressing.

I have a little sister who is 7 and I just don't feel the urge to play her silly little games or nurture her, which I feel pretty bad about. I wonder if these nurturing tendencies are hormonal, my tits never grew that big and I'm not interested in guys that are super manly, perhaps those are subtle signs.

Anonymous 127

I'm the opposite, I have a very superficial aesthetic appreciation for babies and motherhood. Sometimes I fantasize about it, then I realize I'm fantasizing about the most shallow, meaningless things for such a life changing situation - like how I'd look pregnant, how cute my family would look together, etc. And then when I worry about never having kids, and realize all I really care about is how other people will judge me for it.

I know deep down it's never gonna happen but I'm kinda looking forward to a stress free life of disposable income and leisure time.

Anonymous 133

Ugh yes babies gross me out so much. Anytime I hear a baby crying in public my first thought is "Murder your child", granted I'm being dramatic and joking a bit, but my feelings are still pretty strong.
Pregnancy fucking terrifies me. It's so gross and I can't even imagine the pain of birth. I have anxiety issues, and I KNOW I would be panicking mid-birth.
I'm also so deeply in love with my boyfriend. I can't even imagining loving another creature more than him, as you supposedly do when you have a child. I love him too much to allow my heart and loyalty to go to something else.
On top of that, we live a chill, go-with-the-flow lifestyle. So long as I have a shelter, some food, and him I'm more than content. The hassle of a baby wouldn't blend with that.

Also can we talk about how some babies are literally just demons in flesh suits? Like, born murders. I was watching some special about tiny kids that already try to murder their siblings and parents. Why even go through all of that shit just to have a demon creature constantly trying to murder you??? Shit's crazy.

Anonymous 219

I just don't understand why some parents want to shove their babies in someone's face. Like I don't want to touch it but the parents always force me to to hold it. And I can't say no because they get offended.

Anonymous 222

I used to be hideously terrified of babies. I got pregnant and everything changed! I now hear screaming babies and feel sorry for them instead of wanting to run away in terror. Getting pregnant and becoming a mom kicked some maternal instinct within me in gear.

Anonymous 10128

You're absolutely not the only one. My reasons for being antinatalist:

>It's selfish, no matter who does it.

There are many children in this world who could use a loving home. Moreover, the world is generally a shit place to be and by introducing a new human into it, you're increasing the total amount of misery that exists.
>I have several potentially genetic issues I would not want to pass on.
I have hereditary depression and diabetes runs in my family.
>I would mentally fuck up a child.
I don't fully love anyone without hating them a little bit, and I haven't found a single person that I don't find massively irritating in some way. I know full well that I would abandon a child if I were to have one at the first sign of disobedience.
>I don't want to ruin my body.
I've heard of horror stories from women who've given birth and end up with rips and tears etc. etc.
Besides that, I am not interested in gaining weight and stretching out my skin. I don't think pregnant women look good.
>I don't want any of the side effects of pregnancy.
e.g., diabetes, morning sickness
>I don't want to chain myself to something or someone.
I need the knowledge that I am free to uproot my entire life and leave without having to deal with people whining about it. I'm not getting married for this same reason.
>I have other things to contribute to the world.
I can leave a legacy in ways that aren't creating a person who shares some genetic material with me.

Anonymous 10129

Should mention that I love hanging out with other people's kids. I think children have a great unique perspective on life and they're very quick learners. I think babies are cute. But I could never deal with one long-term.

Anonymous 10139

What could've brought you to holding this belief, anon?

Anonymous 10141

I like children but I can't stand babies. I'm also against the creation of new life, but I'd like to adopt.

Anonymous 10154

I literally wrote all of my reasoning in my posts. Please take the time to read over them.

Anonymous 10159

Sorry. I'd argue against eugenics for the sake of you having progeny, but I cant.

Anonymous 10162

I am in full support of eugenics. People with hereditary illnesses should not be permitted to reproduce.

Anonymous 10166


I feel kind of guilty when I immediately judge someone for having children. In this day and age, when you're free to pursue whatever intellectual pursuits or hobbies you could possibly want, why waste it on having a 24/7 20+ year commitment? I can't help but think that they're not really satisfied with themselves or the people around them, or perhaps they're simple-minded,vapid, and aren't particularly passionate about anything in general. It's a big assumption, but I feel like they believe their life will be fulfilled by having children, when they should actually find inner happiness first.
Or maybe it's just a simple, but strong biological drive? I mean, I've had sexual desire before of course, but I never thought "I need/want to have a child." I'm perfectly happy with myself and the people close to me.

Anonymous 10167

Because some people have the natural desire to nurture and provide for someone else, which is biological. That is why. Some people see this type of commitment as a privilege.
Thinking everyone should have kids is stupid and the ones who choose not to are making a great choice if we look at things from a financial perspective, but choosing to have children is absolutely natural and nature tends to speak louder.

Anonymous 10168

>but choosing to have children is absolutely natural and nature tends to speak louder.
lol. choosing not to have kids is also natural.

Anonymous 10170

It isn't as natural, as you need to abstain from sex or use some sort of BC. I'm really not looking to start an argument though, I never said deciding not to have kids is bad. Read my post again.

Anonymous 10171

lmaoing at ur brain rn

Anonymous 10172

In what world does abstaining from the one thing you biologically exist to do count as being natural
You can do whatever you want, but in terms of nature and the metric we use to define success in the animal kingdom, not having a kid makes you an abject failure

Anonymous 10184

I was like that, too, even when I had already decided I had to dedicate my life to reproduction.

If you don't have little siblings and related experience, it changes when you become a mother. Period. (Or not, if you don't, but I genuinely believe that the rewiring our brains receive is integral to the intended biological function of women.)

Anonymous 10186

sure, keep telling yourself that.

Anonymous 10187

Don't actually say that. She deserves to carry on her bloodline through progeny, just like everybody else. I can only hope she changes her mind someday.

Anonymous 10188

I mean it's pretty obvious that women this day are actively discouraged from doing that. She who uses her judgement and mind to actively work on cementing that manipulation despite better knowledge deserves no pity and frankly, I don't care, I have my progeny 🤷

Keep on reading the same three testimonies of women who were happy to not have children at age 80 (presumably because of other social interactions massive enough that some random magazines give a fuck about ~her story~).

Anonymous 10189

>it's pretty obvious that women this day are actively discouraged from doing that
That just makes me want to stop it!

Anonymous 10196

No way to do that except having a bunch of kids yourself and showing people that the difficulties might not arise, or are not that bad compared to the massive blessing that kids are.

Anonymous 35580


The cringe and the edge in this thread are amazing. The way I feel about having my own family is perhaps very determined by where I'm from. You people sound to me like a bunch of upper class americans. I'd like to have a 5 kids and live in the countrysideç so we would grow our own food, stuff like that. I miss so much being a child, I remeber perfectly what made life so special to me back then. I'd love to read stories to my children, talk to them about faeries, spirits, go camping, etc. Or cooking with them or teaching them how to draw, how to fish, show them Tangerine Dream's amazing music xD The native lenguage of my territory is dying out, I also want them to speak it. I don't have real friends these days, last time I felt I had a real friendship was when I was a younger. I even doubt I'll ever find a man that will love me truly and that I will love as much.I DO know I would love my kids, maybe that's what's pushing me towards motherhood when I haven't finished college yet.

What do you think?

Anonymous 35582

Sounds like you want kids to make up for not having friends and want to relive your own childhood.

Anonymous 35583


Could be, but I'm fantasiazing from a mother's perspective. I just want to be able to make someone happy and the only type of person I believe I could do that to are children. I lost my father when I was 7yo, I don't deny to myself that this has some influece. What about you?

Anonymous 35585

I’m childfree but enjoy collecting horrifying pregnancy facts. Look up “4th degree tear” on Google images to see one of my favourites

Anonymous 35586

._. do you like that?

Anonymous 35587

I like it like people like watching bloody horror movies or reading about true crime. It's disgusting and horrifying but hard to look away from. There's also the element of fear that this could happen to me, being female after all.

Anonymous 35594


I see… not my cup of tea.

Anonymous 35680

>At this point I'm wondering whether I'm going down the 'genderfucked' road

>I have a little sister who is 7 and I just don't feel the urge to play her silly little games or nurture her, which I feel pretty bad about. I wonder if these nurturing tendencies are hormonal, my tits never grew that big and I'm not interested in guys that are super manly, perhaps those are subtle signs.

Not at all, anons! Sexism and the dehumanization of women is the only reason we're expected to inherently want to give birth or raise children in the first place. Women have every right to choose not being a mother as men have to choose not being a father, and it doesn't invalidate one's gender.

I know it's easier said than done, but let them be offended. If they can't fathom the idea that not everyone on the planet wants to hold their baby, they have ego issues.

Anonymous 35681

>the one thing you biologically exist to do
>in terms of nature and the metric we use to define success in the animal kingdom, not having a kid makes you an abject failure
>the intended biological function of women
I'm unsure how you managed to find this imageboard, where users are expected to view women as human beings, but my condolences to you all.

Anonymous 35710

I am glad that me and my boyfriend (since 2012) have decided to never have children. It feels good to be a DINK.

Anonymous 35729


I want kids but I don't have any money.

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