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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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What path am I supposed to take Anonymous 25042

There are too many options in life. Most are limited time offers. Right now, I only have two and even those are too much for me. The safe path will land me a career that I'm sure I will hate and too many regrets, but I will be stable and able to survive on my own if need be. The uncertain path is somewhat dangerous and will either lead to a happy life or a destitute one with different regrets but regrets all the same.

What am I supposed to do?

Anonymous 25044

What do you want to do?

Anonymous 25052

I just want to be happy. But what if that's not what people are supposed to pursue? What if this whimsical "chase your dreams" shit is just that, shit? Leftover from the childhood ramblings of "bee urself, you can be anything, you're special, you matter and everyone wins" from the previous generation?

I'm so worried I'll make the wrong choice. I don't want to end up a failure but being miserable almost sounds worse.

Anonymous 25053

I can kinda relate to how you feel. All I want is to be happy too, but everything that is considered “normal” either annoys the hell out of me, or makes my anxiety skyrocket. My advice would be: if you know what makes you happy, then pursue that with all your might, letting nothing stop you.

As for
>be yourself
Yes do this, you will find happiness this way I promise.
>you can be anything
>you’re special
>everyone wins
Hahahaha this one must be a joke

Anonymous 25067

there are many things that aren't substantially different if you do it earlier or later in life. you can put many things on the great big to-do list and it's usually okay as long as you're steadily working through them!

Anonymous 25068

>a career that I'm sure I will hate
don't even consider it
>too many regrets
everyone carries around regrets, it's part of living. but doing something you already know you will regret is just not worth it.

Unless that safe path has more to it than just regret. Why are you even considering it, OP? What good would come out of it, besides (I assume financial) safety? Write out a good old pros and cons list. It really helps a lot.

Anonymous 25073

Don’t go into a career that you know you’ll hate. Pick something you like (but don’t love - because work can sap the joy out of something you love) and pursue that as your career.

Pursue what you love on your own time.

Anonymous 25075

Most people have to make the choice between being financially stable and doing something they love. And most people pick something that is a bit of both. A lot of people end up liking it a lot more than they thought they would.

Don't choose a carrer that you would absolutely hate. You will only put the minimum effort into it because you hate every minute of it.
But also don't choose something unrealistic like being a fashion designer without having a good plan B ready in case it doesn't work out.

The further you get in you carreer the more organizational tasks you will have to fullfil anyway. I've spoken to artists who actually "chase their dream". They told me maybe 10-20% of what they do is actually making art. The rest of it is managing their company, building relationships with customers, organizing events etc.

Anonymous 25314

As a fellow woman you must know that's not true for us. After a certain time, it's too late. Men are free to do as they like without boundaries from time or society and we're trapped in this ever shrinking bubble from puberty and up.

Something tells me that financial security matters the most in life. I guess there's just something screaming at me to go against all logic.

This may be the right choice.

I guess I may be coming off as one of those dumb girls who want to chase after big abstract things but I'm actually one of those dumb girls who wants to chase after romance. So even dumber then I spose.

Anonymous 25318

Taking a job you hate is only going to make you more hateful, which is going to ruin your chance of romance. Nobody would want to live with someone who brings their stress from work to home

Anonymous 25319

>As a fellow woman you must know that's not true for us. After a certain time, it's too late. Men are free to do as they like without boundaries from time or society and we're trapped in this ever shrinking bubble from puberty and up.

I'm sorry, when I typed that I was thinking of creativity and discovery and other pursuits a lot of people have. Typical things like learning new skills, playing an instrument, writing a book, travel the world etc. especially because you mentioned the whole "chase your dreams" type of thing which these usually fall into. I think these can be done at any age and still be fulfilling.

I'm sorry if your goals are outside of this and my post came across as rude, I see now you're chasing romance and yeah… it's a shrinking bubble…

Anonymous 25352


Your post wasn't rude at all. Initially I was embarrassed to say "my dream starts and ends at being in a healthy relationship that makes me happy", because what sort of dream is that… But yeah. Rational cold stability sailing forward or jumping ship without life preservers..

Some might say you can have both but I think this choice in front of me is shrinking out of sight quick. I'm still young but I feel like I can see so far ahead, and all the possible mistakes scare me. I think no matter what I do I will be sorry when I'm 30.

Yeah.. I wish that I could just find something I genuinely enjoy outside of recreational fun and romance, but you can't make a living off farting and eating Cheetos while watching some shitty Netflix flick.

I don't know. You've all been cool and helpful but I think I'm just doomed to ruin my life

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