I don't know what to do anymore Anonymous 26050
It's been a week since I've turned 18, I should be happy my adult life starts now and yet I doubt I'll survive the summer.
For the past few years I've been battling depression and suicidal thoughts but I'm not alone in all of this, there are friends that at least seem to care a bit about me but even when we are together I feel completely alone, I'm nearly always the one that starts our conversations.
My best friend, who knows what I've been through, is also the girl I love and there have been many things happening between us this year.
We are extremely close and we both had feelings for each other at different times.
I fear that she has noticed that I still love her and now she seems quite cold.
I've thought of quitting our friendship so many times but I could never do that for more than a month as one of us would go back to the other.
Without her I would be lost, we've been friends for nearly 8 years and the thought of a life without her is terrifying since I would also lose our common friends, more importantly she is the only person that has shown me love and made me feel truly happy.
However I know that we will never be more than best friends and even if we were it probably wouldn't last: I am really short and quite unattractive so she'd probably leave me for someone better as soon as she finds him.
I feel like I'm stuck between life and death and I don't think I have the strength to make it, she is all I have.
I kept the rope from my last attempt so I could use it once I made my decision.
I feel completely empty and maybe if she is now getting distant because of my fault then I could finally end it once and for all, even though I know she would still feel a bit sad about me dying.
It sounds like your really overthinking the situation, please don't do anything silly lots of people love you
Fuck that's literally me
Its called Teenage Angst and it doesnt stop at 20
>insecure about height
>leave me…as soon as she finds him
come to leafland and be my depressed manlet bf? Pls
Even if you're a short lesbian though, please keep going. Try to get therapy or some kind of help. I don't know you but you seem like a sweet and respectful person. The world needs as many kind people as possible.
Maybe you should try getting into politics
I'd love to, Anon, but you wouldn't like me.
How are you having trouble finding a depressed manlet leaf? That’s most of them.
To be fair you'd probably also dislike me. It's always like that.
Glad to hear you haven't ended it all yet though. Are you feeling any more hopeful after two weeks?>>26475
Finding them is one thing but convincing them to date me is another issue entirely.
Depressed manlets will go for anyone, do you have some sort of severe mental/physical deficiency?
No I don't, but most people have specific tastes. Generally I've found short men tend towards liking shorter women. It's a bit sad but of course I'll keep going until I find someone.
Hope op does the same.
As long as you’re not freakishly tall, you’ll find someone.