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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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dating Anonymous 28043

I have 20 years old and i'm going to have my first date, but i have social anxiety and I'm really afraid of it. Miners help me, any tips how I need to act? I dont know how to kiss and i'm worried about not having something to talk and boring him.

Anonymous 28045

Just be yourself, like how you'd act normally outside. Of course put in a modicum of effort too. You don't need to know how to kiss, but you do have to put in effort when conversing.
Talk about each other, you're supposed to talk about what you do and know what he does. Find common interests, and if you do find something in common, conversations should flow naturally.

Anonymous 28048

As a serial date failure, I can tell you what not to do:
>put yourself down (even jokingly) since you're supposed to be marketing yourself
>say exactly what you're thinking (filtering is key…although difficult)
>mention your trauma
>ask about his trauma
>be openly misanthropic
>forget about boundaries suddenly

Just do what >>28045 said.

Anonymous 28053

Please tell us how it went.

Anonymous 28055

Wow, I do all of those things on dates. No wonder I’m alone.

Anonymous 28056


It's okay. Me too, anon (of course).
>tfw okay looking and actually a nice person but still alone because unable to function socially

Anyway, to op I forgot to add: good luck and please upd8 when it's over!

Anonymous 28066


I feel personally attacked anon.

Anonymous 28089

dont forget to swallow when you kiss. theres a lot more saliva than you would expect

Anonymous 28107


Anonymous 28118

I have never had a "slobber" problem when kissing…

Anonymous 28144

>put yourself down (even jokingly) since you're supposed to be marketing yourself
>say exactly what you're thinking (filtering is key…although difficult)
>mention your trauma
>be openly misanthropic
>forget about boundaries suddenly
I didn't realise I wanted to find this until now.

Anonymous 28147

> pretending to be someone you're not
Good way to start a relationship. Either overcome your problems or find someone empathetic enough that will over look your problems. Lying about who you are will only hurt you and others. You won't be able to hold it up forever, its very exhausting. Sooner or later, your true self will show and they will resent you for it.

Anonymous 28152

Why do you think this is lying? This is just not saying revealing everything all at once, it's just reserving some of yourself for later. Remember this is just advice for the first date. There are some things you can say and do on the date, and there are some things that are just too much for it up front. That anon was only telling you things from the latter category. You can play the rest of your hand over time.

Just for example: saying you despise your mother because she's a drunken wreck of an addict might be too much for the first date. Saying you love your mother would be a lie. Saying nothing on the topic of your mother is just reserving the truth for later, saving that sort of conversation for a more appropriate time and place.
See the difference?

Anonymous 28192

What do you know about the person you are going on the date with?

Anonymous 28215

Listen anon, I wish it worked that way. I also think the way humans function is incorrect. But it's just the truth that men will judge you as a crazy bitch if you don't adhere to social norms and bring up your abusive dead father like it's nbd over coffee. Especially if they're the type who has never had anything too bad happen to them, it's shocking.

I do want to keep letting the misanthropy leak though, at least in a softcore way.

Anonymous 28383

>finally found a cute shy boy
>dated him for a couple of weeks
>realized that "shy" means he doesn't have the balls to make a move
>suddenly I don't want him anymore
Has anyone gone through this, or am I the weird one?

Anonymous 28384

Are you op? Or did you mean to post in the tfw no cute shy bf thread?

Anonymous 28386

What were you expecting? If he's shy of course he's not going to make a move.

Anonymous 28387

seconding what another anonette said… what were you expecting? if you want an assertive guy find one of those instead

Anonymous 28390

What do people usually mean when they say "make a move"? You nean you have been dating for two weeks and he haven't kissed you at least?

Anonymous 28391

Make a move on him instead you big dummy.

Anonymous 28399


JUST bee urself

Anonymous 28401

Why don't you have the balls to make a move? I'd never expect my partner to do something I wouldn't do myself.

Anonymous 28403

>Why don't you have the balls

Anonymous 28407

Hey thanks for making me laugh. Take care of yourself friend.

Anonymous 28408

No, this is not a female r9k.

Anonymous 28410


pls leave

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