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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anyone have this happen to them? Anonymous 28927

>be me
>fat socially awkward university student who probably has various mental disorders
>convinced I will never find bf
>finds super sweet guy online the lives overseas
>he comes and visits me
>goes well (almost too well)
>he's a 10, treats me well, great in bed, etc
>has to go home
>we promise to visit each other again
>mfw we probably won't

It's been a week since he's left and I'm already starting to get depressed. He has his own life in his country and I have no way to emigrate to his so I think we all know how this one is gonna end. Should I break things off to protect my own feelings or wait until he does?

Anonymous 28932

You've burned yourself. It's not gonna come off easily, so try to just move on and forget.

Anonymous 28936

So what’s next for me? Other than suicide, because that’s dumb

Anonymous 28952

>mfw we probably won't

Why not? Sounds like you enjoyed your time with him.

Anonymous 28955

>I have no way to emigrate to his
Where there's a will, there's a way.

Anonymous 28957

>mfw we probably won't

you're just scared about getting hurt/disappointed and are self-sabotaging. be hopeful (and realistic) and try to check the facts – if you both had a good time and felt a connection then you can make it work. traveling can be expensive, but try to make it your priority and save where you can. have you 2 talked since he went home?

Anonymous 28958

I am in the same position. Met a sweet gorgeous guy online and we are supposed to meet up soon. But at the same time I am terrified he won’t like me irl. Everything is a risk and if you want to open yourself up to the possibility of being loved, you also have to open yourself up to the risk of being rejected. It’s a gamble. Only you can decide whether the risk of finding lasting happiness outweighs the risk of being hurt by him potentially leaving you. You cannot form relationships without taking a risk.

It sounds like you also have low self esteem, and with low self esteem comes self defeating behaviour and sabotaging relationships. I have tried sabotaging this relationship as I don’t feel good enough for him but he’s stubborn and refuses to let my poor self image ruin things between us.

It is great you had a nice time with him and honestly, that’s the best you can hope for the first time meeting someone. At least if it doesn’t work out you will have that to look back on. I understand you don’t want to be disappointed but you are overthinking things and looking at the negatives rather than focusing on the positives.

Imagine you had met up and he was like ‘sorry, you don’t look like your pictures, see ya!’ That would have been pretty awful. Just appreciate the time you spent with him and don’t worry about the long term so much. Use your intuition. You will be able to tell whether he’s still interested or not. Ask him to be honest with you.

If you can get one decent guy you can probably get another. I hope things go well for you and this guy.

Anonymous 28959

This is boomer tier thinking. There are tons of people together who met online and moved to be together after initial LDRs. I never want to marry a guy from my own country. All my boyfriends were foreigners. And it is very hard to meet foreigners in such a small town without the internet.

Anonymous 28961

>I never want to marry a guy from my own country
Could you explain why?

Anonymous 28962

Many of them are violent, alcoholics or druggies, low income and just generally not LTR or marriage material. Also there are not many good looking ones either.

Anonymous 28963


Anonymous 28964

-.- you take that back

Anonymous 28966

So, uhm, where do you find 10/10 online bfs? Asking for a friend haha.

Anonymous 28968


Anonymous 28971


>violent, alcoholics or druggies, low income and just generally not LTR or marriage material. Also there are not many good looking ones either.


Anonymous 28974

cyka blyat kurwa

Anonymous 28987

It's easy if you just advertise that they can show up, fuck you, and then just leave with no strings attached like OP.

Anonymous 29000

>it's easy

So tell me, how many 10/10 chads have you met online who came and fucked you?Why would a 10/10 guy spend a fortune to fly out and meet some fat socially awkward girl and fuck her then leave and never come back? If he's 10/10 he could easily find someone local.

Anonymous 29003

>Why would a 10/10 guy spend a fortune to fly out and meet some fat socially awkward girl

Because OP is a schizo and none of that happened.

Anonymous 29005

She might be overrating the alleged Chad.
OP, please show us pics of him.

Anonymous 29006

That's what I think too.

Anonymous 29008


Hi so OP here. I completely forgot I made this lmao my bad. I'd delete it to save face but it's been too long since I posted it.
Some general info: We're still talking and he made plans to fly out and see me again in a few months. Wish it was sooner but /:
Answering some of the higher quality questions from the audience:
I'm from burgerland and he's from the UK.
Literally found him on a YouTuber's discord server, became online friends, exchanged contact info, and went from there. Your results may vary and my rating him a 10 is in no way objective, its literally just my opinion because I think he's perfect not everything is about a hypothetical normal curve of objective attractiveness shut up femcels

I hope you all find someone who obsesses over you on their niche anonymous online message boards.

Anonymous 29014

OP if he's so great in bed how do you think he got that way? By being really reserved about sex and monogamous? Or by traveling around having sex with girls all over the place because they all instantly fall in love with him on first sight?

Anonymous 29015

There are plenty of guys who are experienced and suck in bed so that logic doesn't fly
A guy can easily get good by researching female anatomy (not porn), and watching your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc

Anonymous 29025

That's not how getting good in bed works at all lmao. Some men are just better than others. My current bf was a virgin when I got with him and he's the best I've ever had. I've been with other men much more experienced than I, and compared to him they were pretty bad.
You don't know what you're talking about.

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