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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 30364

Is it normal to still be in love with him even if we talked like a month ago and the last time I saw him was 7 months ago?

I can't do this anymore, I even told him and he said it wouldn't work out why can't I move on?

Anonymous 30365

yeah it's normal. I wish I had some advice on moving on but I don't unfortunately. sorry I'm no help

Anonymous 30367

To move on, cut off all contact with him and get rid of everything that reminds you of him.

This means no Facebook, no mementos, no reminiscing. This will weaken his power over you over time (months), although it will never completely go away, but weaken enough for you to live a normal life again without intrusive thoughts about him.

Anonymous 30373

If it's just residual feelings that are present but non-intrusive, that should fade with time. If they're active intrusive yearning, you may have to consciously re-direct your energy into something else.

A classic breakup thing is to re-invent onesself, and while that may happen for a number of reasons, one of them is definitely the re-direction of previously outpouring care and attention back to oneself.

If you wanna do something kind of experimental to start understanding the nature of your attachment to this person, so you may eventually start separating from them, ask yourself what they brought to the table symbolically or practically. (Think 'they gave me a purpose' or 'they brought me closer to another aspect of life that I enjoyed' ect.) If you find anything that you may be able to get elsewhere, you can try and move yourself yourself in that direction.

Anonymous 30403

Find someone else to get burned on until you learn

Anonymous 30416


It's even harder to get over people you don't see anymore. Your brain creates an idealized version of them and you can't see their flaws in person. You need to break up with your idea of him, not with him.

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