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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 32366

Lonely people are lonely for their own faults and deserve it.

Anonymous 32367

E93CD7ED-4A99-4B04…

>>32366
A lot of the faults that cause women to be lonely are immutable, i.e. mental illness, ugliness. But what is your purpose in posting this on a board full of lonely women anyway? “Haha, I’m not like you” ?

Anonymous 32368

>>32367
I have seen people way uglier than me be charismatic and charming. So I've come to the conclusion it's all about yourself.

Infact lonely people are the most toxic ones I have ever met. I include myself there too.

Anonymous 32391

Talking about deserving things is stupid because of how subjective it is.

Anonymous 32416

>Lonely people are lonely for their own faults
Subjective. The lonely person may believe that they are the only one who is right in an otherwise insane world. To argue my point, I entreat you consider the pioneers of feminism and anti-slavery movements. These people at one point in history held a very unpopular opinion that would have made them feel alone in the world. They managed to fight against all odds such that, today, anyone with such views would by no means feel lonely or isolated for holding those specific views.

The purpose of this anecdote, if you'll excuse my rambling, is that loneliness isn't always the fault of the individual, in fact, I'd say that loneliness today is, seemingly paradoxically a fault of the herd.

What I mean is that, if you're a millenial/zoomer/zillenial like me, you were probably raised to believe that you should "be a unique individual special little pumpkin pie etc etc…", which fucked me up. It also fucked up a lot of other people on image boards. I followed my own interests too much, I deviated too far from the crowd, and so I feel lonely because "I'm not like the other girls". Should I have just followed the mainstream, voraciously consuming all media, poison and sustenance alike? Is it my fault for pursuing my own interests, or their fault for being interested in what I find boring? It's all subjective in the end, and I just live with the belief that both are irrelevant, because at the end of the day I'll feel lonely regardless.

I can hardly say I deserve it. It's just how things are, it's how things will be. There are good times between the bad, as with everyone. So maybe I do deserve it, if only because without suffering, happiness is not felt as strongly, so thanks anon for the kind words.

Anonymous 32438

>>32416
>The lonely person may believe that they are the only one who is right in an otherwise insane world.

Ergo there loneliness is self-inflicted and op is right.

Anonymous 32449

>>32438
What do you do if you genuinely think you're right and everybody else is wrong though? The only way to stop being alone in what you think then is to stop thinking that. Could you brainwash yourself out of one of your convictions if you wanted to badly enough? If you could, does it necessarily follow that everybody could?

Anonymous 32467

> What I mean is that, if you're a millenial/zoomer/zillenial like me, you were probably raised to believe that you should "be a unique individual special little pumpkin pie etc etc…", which fucked me up. It also fucked up a lot of other people on image boards. I followed my own interests too much, I deviated too far from the crowd, and so I feel lonely because "I'm not like the other girls".

Reading this was pretty insightful. Hits close to home. Well said, anon.

Anonymous 32468

>>32467

Oops, meant to reply to >>32416

Anonymous 32493

I think the mediums that people typically use for social interaction are conducive to loneliness. It's too easy to find people who are just like you, and this makes it seem like a waste of time to accept differences that you may have with close friends.

I do, however, believe that anyone who gets lonely because they need human interaction is sabotaging themselves in the long run. It's good to be comfortable with yourself and comfortable in your own head, since that's where you spend all of your time. I highly encourage any lonely anons here to do traditionally "group" activities by yourself (shopping, movie, dinner, coffee). It might be a good idea to bring a book or music or some artwork you're creating if you won't have anything else to pass the time. Right now I'm working on comfortably being truly alone, i.e., without consuming anyone else's thoughts via art/music/literature.

Anonymous 32586

>>32438
OP said people lonely for their own faults. That which constitutes a fault is subjective.

Maybe I'm too forgiving but I don't think anyone deserves to be lonely, even if your ideas are unconventional and not desirable. That doesn't mean people should agree with you, just that we need to understand where everyone is coming from. I think there isn't enough love and understanding in this world. Call it a platitude if you may, call me gay, but it feels like everyone is always looking for a way to make someone else suffer over something petty. I'm guilty of this behavior too. Humans have a long history of wanting someone else to suffer for not holding the same values as themselves. In the past, it was generally a war between a small number of factions, so at least, outside of the war, there was peace (Orwell was right I guess). Now it seems everyone is their own army, and we're at war with each other.

>>32449
If you believe you're at fault, then you will either stay lonely or conform to the crowd. If you think others are at fault, you'll often push to change them to try make the world a "better" place in your eyes.

I used the examples of feminism and anti-slavery, because at some time in history, these were minority ideas, which eventually became commonplace concepts which we take for granted today. If pioneers of these movements had just fallen into acquiescence and not taken a stand, most of us would still be serfs and slaves and doing what master says. I guess we still do for the most part, but at least they can't beat us anymore, we just starve.

>>32467
I'm glad I was able to articulate my thoughts in a way which resonated with you.



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