To pretend this isn't bait
You don't apologize. There is no apologizing for something like this. Even if he wasn't your brother, the fact your "curiosity" is what compelled you to grope someone is predatory. The fact he's your brother makes it worse. If you apologize to him:
if he doesn't remember, now you're letting him know this happened and he's going to have to deal with that knowledge, and for the first time, in front of you. What you've done to him is already unfair, and now telling him puts him in an even more unfair situation because you are the one with the power in this situation; he doesn't know what happened, he is forced to believe what you're telling him. You're probably going to act all apologetic and anxious, that's going to affect his response even if he in reality is quite negatively affected by this knowledge.
Even if he does remember, you apologizing in this situation seems far more beneficial for you than it does for him. What does he get out of an apology? You already did the act. You weren't sorry in the moment. You seem mostly sorry because he might have caught you. >>32964
You're degenerate enough in the first place to look at him that way, I would argue you're more scarred than him. Go to therapy.
You have no guarantee he will "look at you" in that way. I was sexually abused as a child for years by my brother and I don't see him in a sexual light at all, but he still gives me sexual looks, has boners around me, etc. to this day. What actually was scarred was my conception of the family unit. I don't see it as viable and as a very flawed social structure.
Oh, and he apologized, and did it again, and even after I told my parents, he had the gall the apologize again in front of them so I had to accept these bullshit apologies. That's what I mean by there being a clear imbalance of power. You're a family member so your brother is pressured by that sheer fact, especially if you both live in the same household, to act like he's okay with you. >>32973>Well, yes. If it wasn't I wouldn't have got caught up in the moment.
go to therapy.
>I didn't make the thread to talk about how it felt, but what to do/how to apologise.
Lmao, you don't apologize. You apologizing would just be so you feel like less of a shit person.>>32980>Well, I don't think he'd want that, and his opinion is the one that matters.
Even if he did want you to go to jail, chances are, your family would protect your ass over it and shame him for wanting that. Do you really think you parents would support your brother sending you to jail over a one-time groping? You don't know anything about what he'd want.
>I know I should keep quiet if he is either unaware or doesn't want to talk about it, but i want to do something to make it up.
You can't make what you did to him up. Notice how you first are like >it's about what he wants!
and now you're like >waaah I want to make it up
You "making it up to him" is entirely a cope for you, not him, and it's not to mention impossible. You can't fix how sick it is to have a family member violate you.
Find a way to deal with this guilt yourself. Maybe ask yourself why you are drawn to violating people and try to help yourself. Are you a desperate femcel or some shit? >>32981