I can relate a lot, OP, especially this part since I have really obscure interests too>can't force myself to watch/listen/talk about anything modern and hip
This is something I’ve struggled a lot with in the past. Can also relate a lot to > it has grown on me like a cancer and now everyone who's around me think that I'm a clown
I kind of overcompensate for how little I can talk to other people about by getting shitfaced drunk and becoming someone people can laugh at and be entertained by. I get the sense that I’m too boring to talk to too unless I’m drunk like an animal.
Over the years, I coped by owning my interests and getting deeper into them. Not sure if this is the best thing to do, but I figured that I’m going to love what I love. I won’t connect with many other people over it, but I want to spend time doing the things I love most.
Also tried to get into more normal things that are beneficial to me. I’ll probably never be all that into pop culture, but recently I’ve gotten into things like fitness and cooking, which help in self-improvement and gives me something I can talk about with other people.
This anon >>33014
is right though. Your interests aren’t as obscure as you think.