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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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How do I motivate myself to do literally anything? Anonymous 33249

I just don't fucking care. I'm not motivated to grow up and be a real adult. I don't give a fuck if my tantrums are childish. It's comforting to me. I don't care that I live with my parents. I don't care that my job is the lowest of the lowest and that I would be homeless were it not for my parents. I don't care that my relationship is ending because I'm a bad person. I don't care that I'm not pursuing any of my interests, any of my goals. I don't care that I'm failing everything I work towards when I feel the slightest bit ready to try. I don't care that I don't care.

I'm not depressed. I can get out of bed mostly, and I go to work. But overall I just really give no fucks. My life consists of sleeping, working, and surfing the net, and while i'm not depressed, I'm not happy either.

It seems it doesn't matter, though, because at the end of the day I am not motivated. Not even rock bottom motivates me. It used to. It used to scare me that I might become a loser, but I'm slowly accepting it. Getting more comfortable with this reality. Is there a drug I can take that makes me feel like doing shit? I don't want the zombie drugs the depressed folks take or the cocaine-esque drugs that make you bounce against the walls. I just want to feel like DOING something. I want to feel inspired. I want to live. I just want to fucking live.

Anonymous 33250

Anonymous 33253

Thank you

Anonymous 33254

Embrace being a failure.

Anonymous 33255

Anonymous 33256

How long have you been feeling this way? Are you 100% sure you don't have mild depression? Maybe you just have one of those down phases but you'll suddenly bounce back next week.

Anonymous 33258

See a doctor to fix your brain chemistry.

Anonymous 33259

A couple of years.

If they could fix brains then there wouldn't be so many sad people.

Anonymous 33260

Saddness isn't depression and that too can be artificially fixed.

Anonymous 33262

How is this not depression?

Anonymous 33263

You do care though. You wouldn't feel this way and you wouldn't have made this post if you didn't care. You're just selfish and don't want to give anything, you don't want to see any effort. So you come up with this childish excuse of "not caring" when obviously your entire subconscious is screaming at you that something needs to change. You care about everything, everything has a meaning to you. Nihilism is a spook.

Even now, making this thread, you did it in hopes of finding some sort of a miracle answer, because you want that change so badly it hurts. It frustrates you; you've dug yourself into this hole and you always expected some sort of an automatic reaction to kick in and save you, but it didn't. "Surely if I hit rock bottom I'll get my wake-up call and that's where I find the magical motivation, that has to be it." Well, you didn't. There is no miracle answer, and there is no magical motivation that will kick in. Every answer anyone can give will require tremendous effort, which you will reject because you "don't care" (in reality you're just lazy and too comfortable), while you continue living in depression deluding yourself that "well, there's nothing I can do since I don't care, so this is what I'm stuck with" in order to avoid responsibility. A self-defeating cycle.

So here's the advice that will require that effort, hoping you will grab onto it: learn to know yourself, and by that I mean learn your own values as a human being. You believe in a set of values, blind faith since that's all we have but nonetheless they're the most real thing we have, and your actions are based on them. Spectate your own actions and what you say, and think hard why you do or say any of them. Why did you make this thread? No, why did you REALLY make this thread? You're in serious need of some self-reflecting because you have no idea who you are, you just have this web of lies and delusions you've created that has blinded you.

Anonymous 33343

i used to think that motivated ambitious people must do it because they have some intense feeling of passion for the things they do and would be devastated if they had to just sit around doing nothing. that's not true at all. some people are like that but the rest of us would do nothing if we could but we just have to take the little motivation we have and fake all the rest. when i was complacent with being a loser i secretly felt that i wouldn't be able to achieve anything if i tried, and that i didn't deserve success anyway. it's like talking yourself out of craving ice cream because it's too late at night to go out and get some. i drilled it into my head that i don't care about anything to so that it wouldn't hurt if i failed. i also felt that it would be really humiliating if i tried my best only to wind back in the same place because that would mean that i "really am" stupid and untalented. stagnating and never putting in effort is a way to stew in your "untapped potential" forever so you don't have to face the possibility that you might be mediocre. but that's also bullshit. people who try and fail might get criticized and laughed at, but they always have more useful experiences to eventually get to their goals than people who never took any risk. people who never try anything or end up anywhere but who "had potential" and "are actually really smart" are fucking everywhere and no one admires them for keeping themselves chaste in the risk taking department. besides, let's say you give it your best shot, work hard, only to end up right back where you started because you're somehow not capable of anything more than your shit job. then you can REALLY relax because there's nothing else you have to do. trying is a win/win. either you get somewhere better than where you're at, or you don't, which you said yourself isn't even all that bad.

so just pick something you're even mildly interested in and start looking at jobs related to it, projects you could start around it, meetups about it, free educational resources about it, watching docs about it, and start making a little ego for yourself for once in your life. you'll probably start picking apart this interest and listing reasons why it's actually stupid or why you're too stupid for it or that you don't ACTUALLY like it that much or you only like it for some shallow reason. doesn't matter. once you get past this initial self-sabotage you'll probably grow to like it, and even if you don't, it'll become clear why you don't like it, and you will have already taken the hardest first step of actually doing something. you're trying to protect yourself from failure, humiliation, and self-assertion, so become a menace to yourself and keep doing things even when you have a million reasons not to. just keep persisting and persisting until you die, achieve something, or feel genuinely satisfied with a boring life instead of pretending to be.

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