>met beta orbiter on 4chan
>he's into femdom too obviously
>tease him and humiliate him a lot
>he's so desperate for me
>he says that he loves me every day
>showers me with compliments and affection
>never felt anything like this
>he's always there for me
>we do stuff like watching anime together
>waits for me whenever I go out at night to tell me goodnight
>sends me gifts on his own will
>I play with his feelings a lot
>lead him on a lot
>switch from pretending to love him to telling him I would never even let him touch me back and forth
>this goes on for months
>it's been a week since he disappeared out of the blue
>turns out I loved him for real
>>33369>waits for me whenever I go out at night to tell me goodnight
I stopped reading here and will pretend you're still together with your e-boyfriend in a happy e-relationship.
I just don't want to read sad stories on the internet anymore.
Sounds like you're having some classic breakup feelings. People usually go through a phase where they're nostalgic about the best parts of the relationship after it's over. Not saying you didn't feel positively about the experience, but be careful to not cast it as the great romance of your lifetime. Other fish in the sea, ect.
I'm sorry about it anon ;w;>>33377
I don't know… yes, I'm sure I could find someone else but I never felt this much loved before. I also feel guilty because I feel that I was to mean/bitchy to him due to this femdom thing and he couldn't handle it anymore
I'm crying right now
I'm sorry you're hurt op. Maybe next time if you find someone into the same fetish as you you discuss boundaries first? Just to make sure you don't cross a line again. It could also be that he is just flakey and it's nothing against you personally. Either way, still a shitty situation
I think I'm just dumb. Like, I told him many times that I never wanted to hurt him for real, and everything was just for fun, but I got so high with the power I felt over him that I had no problems ignoring him, sending him one word replies, and other bitchy moves…
I even thought about the possibility that he left once femdom didn't turn him on anymore, and all the times he told me he loved me was a lie, but with how he acted, how he always wanted to talk to me even of not kinky stuff, how he always wanted to spend time with me, how he spent even hours comforting me without me asking…
I don't know what to do. I even had irl bfs, but I never felt like anyone of them cared as much of me as he did… I'm just hoping he comes back. Do you have any advices on what to do to not ruin it again in case he does? Should I confront him about it?
I mean you did do some hurtful things but he also should have communicated with you if it was going overboard instead of just ghosting you. If he cant speak up for when he's hurt and just runs away instead, he sounds immature and not the best person to be with honestly. Now if he did speak up and you just ignored it then you are in the wrong a 100% then and deserve this. Next time I say figure out boundaries when it comes to fetishes you guys like, remind him often that you do love and care for him, apologize when you're in the wrong, try to get him to be more open about how he actually feels so you don't end up hurting him. Thats some ideas that may help with your relationship. I would try reaching out to him first though and figuring out whats up with him and listen to what he has to say. Goodluk
I think the real dealbreaker was ignoring him. I told him that I loved him very often, but at this point it was unclear to him if it was true or if I was saying it just to play with his feelings. It was unclear to me too, I only realized how much I loved him after he left
What could it hurt to reach back out and tell him all this?
Best case scenario you can continue things with better communication (from both of you). Worst case he continues his ghosting but at least you know you tried your best.
I want to do it so much, but he hasn't been online in weeks… He proposed me to give me his phone number a few times but I refused because I was afraid of getting stalked and stuff, now I wish I accepted it
Just add him on a different account on discord and make your name (insertyourapology/name)
just try messaging him asking whats wrong and why he hasn't got in contact with you and if its anything you did/can you do anything to help him. If he doesn't respond or he blocked you then just leave him be.
never leave me aga…
So, he just came back.
He apologized for ghosting me out of the blue, and told me that he felt terrible about it.
He said that he always felt conflicted about his femdom fetish, and couldn't handle the pressure. Apparently, according to him, I did nothing wrong and it was his fault for not being able to clear his mess inside his head and also for not being honest with me, but I think he genuinely felt sad and lonely when I ignored him for too long, but doesn't want to appear pretentious or feel like he's manipulating me in spending time with him when I don't want to, which is stupid, because I do love spending time with him.
When I told him that I missed him a lot and even cried seeing he was away, he broke down, he kept apologizing so much, poor thing. It looks like for him the idea of me being hurt is more painful that getting hurt himself, it was one of the cutest things I ever saw.
Even if he's conflicted, it took only like one sentence from me to make him go back into being my pet. I don't know how to help him yet in that regard, I don't want him to feel ashamed about himself.
What I know for sure is that I will be way closer to him from now on. He deserves it, and I don't want to lose him ever again
A happy ending! Congrats anon.
just wondering but how old are yall?
Thank you. I'm certainly happy, but still a bit anxious about the future. He does want to stay with me, he just has troubles accepting himself and fighting his anxiety. I think that proposing him to first give me his phone number like he always promised and then to come meet me in person like he always craved for will help him, what do you think?>>33395
I just became 20, he's 21
That sounds like a good plan to me! Go for it and goodluck
tbh he sounds kind of pathetic & needs your roller coastering him to stay interested. Ghosting you for a week is indicative of times to come.
Do you actually like him or do you like that he's obsessed with you, knowing you have him around your finger?
Well, the problem is not him staying interested. Honestly saying he's interested in me would be an understatement, he really went crazy for me, poor thing
What you said might be true, although I desperately hope doesn't. He's been almost two days now and he's still apologizing for how he made me feel etc. He also said out of nowhere that he loves me as a person, and would stay with me regardless of our kink dynamics.
In my opinion, him being a virgin and a 4channer skewed his worldview a lot, so on one hand he naturally wants to love and committ, on the other has some bullshit in his head that makes the whole thing full of anxiety
Who the fuck even meets people on 4chan?? This blows my mind.
It's such a risk. Maybe it's just an american thing..
Don't tell me you met through /soc/ by exchanging nudes.
Well you see, we didn't exactly met there to make a relationship. I added him because it was fun to have an orbiter to tease, see him do stuff for me only because I said so etc
Also at the beginning I showed almost nothing of myself to him, so he couldn't try to do bad stuff even if he wanted to
You don't participate in the gift exchange?
>>33421>Who the fuck even meets people on 4chan??
I did, wasn't my intention to meet them though, we just became friends over time online and decided to meet up irl.
why are we pretending not to know this is maleposting?
nah, you just miss the attention.
wait this is a little confusing, was you playing with his feeling and "hurting him" part of the femdom play or something that he may resented?
I mean, if I wanted attention there are thousand of lovely desperate boys online. I'd only have to make a thread on 4chan or something.
What I want is him!>>33448
I'd say the line waa very thin, too much thin even, but according to him, he didn't resent me at all
you are same ages as me and my bf and we started as an e-ldr as well and our dynamic is femdom as well. godspeed to you both.
Oh, that's nice Anon! Do you have any advices? Some difficulties you encountered, perhaps?
>do something bad
>he says that he's really hurt and even if he loves me he's too much hurt, considering how conflicted he was already
>spend hours crying feeling like shit begging him to not go
>voice chat with him, he begins crying too
>i beg him so hard to at least remain with me for another week
>he agrees and tells me that he loves me
>i can't enjoy this week at all because I'm afraid that he will leave soon
>I'm still crying after almost 12 hours, I had a terrible sleep and haven't eaten at all
Why I have to always ruin everything I want to die
I can relate anon-chan and I hope you'll be okay.
What was the bad thing you did?
What do you mean that you relate anon? what did you do then…>>34241
It's not cheating, but almost…
Don't cheat. You'll only have yourself to blame.
>>34242>It's not cheating, but almost…
Then you probably don't deserve him anyway.
You're a horrible person. I mean the guy is in love with you and wants nothing but for you to be happy. But didn't care about all the anxiety and loneliness and self doubt he felt, wondering if the person he loved loves him back, you made him feel it deliberately and got off to it. You didn't care about how much he was suffering until he ghosted you and you couldn't get high on playing with him again. I see in your later reply he started talking to you again. Which is unfortunate. The good end for him would've been to leave you and never have to be burdened and messed up by you anymore, but I see you're not going to give him the chance at that.
You guys are right. I didn't do anything to hurt him on purpose, but I feel like shit and I deserve it, because he got hurt anyway. He isn't angry with me, he just told me that he loves me but he really can't bear it and I don't know what to do. I don't think I can go to sleep today knowing that tomorrow he won't be there
Obviously you're missing out emotionally if you're looking for something else. Give it up and find something fulfilling lmao
>>34256>I didn't do anything to hurt him on purpose
Yes you did.
I really do love him. He's the only person I care about
No you don't. Prove it by feeling shame.
I called in sick at work and spent the day hugging the pillow in bed while crying. It's been 24 hours since I had a meal
You're acting like you were the one who was wronged. You're the guilty one. Don't sulk. Don't even say you're sorry. Just ask him if he can find it in his heart to forgive you. Even if he doesn't it'll clear your consciousness.
He told me that he isn't mad at all, and that it's his fault for being so strict on certain things (he's wrong it isn't his fault at all) and that he wants to stay with me, but he's afraid of not being able to trust me anymore and the built up stress from this whole thing is making him feel awful. I don't know what to do..
Just ask him to forgive you ffs. If he can't do that, then just know it's not going to work out because of what you did. Resentment will only lead to him wanting to "make things even". Just ask him straight up if he can forgive you for what you've done.
I told him he can literally cheat on me if he wants to. He can go have sex with any girl he likes as long as he doesn't abandon me. He just told me "why would I ever cheat on you?"
Cheating is terrible and you should be ashamed anon. That being said, it might not be the end.
Tell him you're willing to earn a second chance. You fucked up. You don't deserve a second chance, but you want to work towards one if he's willing to give you one, because he means a lot to you.
Ofc if he gives it to you and you cheat again, then you should unironically kys
But I didn't do it in real life!
Are you saying you didn't cheat on him at all? Or that you were just blasted drunk when you did it. The sober you has to be responsible for the drunk you.
Now you're just trying to corrupt him, too. Stop trying to make things even. It's your fault. Ask for him to forgive you, not a second chance or to make things even. Forgiveness.
kek just break up already desu
So… out of the blue he came to me and begged me to to forgive him for "making me suffer so much".
Without thinking I said yes, and he spent a few hours thanking me and that he loves me.
I love me so much, I truly don't deserve him. I will do anything, I don't want to live without him
This thread is genuinely disgusting. Not only does OP utterly repulse me, but especially the people in this thread encouraging OP and saying things like, "You can still make things right, do XYZ."
First of all, this boy is clearly highly emotionally dependent, filled with self-doubt and anxiety, and is looking for someone to offer emotional security to them and that they can confide in. And, yet by your self admission, OP, you constantly talk about how, "I play with his feelings a lot," and, "switch from pretending to love him to telling him I would never even let him touch me back and forth." Not only does this continue to bear out after he came back to you, but you literally told him he could cheat! He's literally looking to you for support for God's sake! Telling him stuff like that would only further his self-doubt and make him question whether or not anything you say is even true.
OP, take a deep look in the mirror. This is not femdom or whatever you think it is. You're just being manipulative and hurtful to someone who trusts you. On the one hand, I could almost understand if you were BPD, but even then you're still the absolute worst match-up for someone like him.
Break it off already. You're not only wasting both of each others' time, meanwhile you're the root cause of all the suffering in this relationship. Take a hint already.
>>34281>I love me so much
You're dooming yourself, anon. Stop being prideful.
We're trying to rebuild our relationship and pretend thid whole thing never happened.
>First of all, this boy is clearly highly emotionally dependent, filled with self-doubt and anxiety, and is looking for someone to offer emotional security to them and that they can confide in. And, yet by your self admission, OP, you constantly talk about how, "I play with his feelings a lot," and, "switch from pretending to love him to telling him I would never even let him touch me back and forth." Not only does this continue to bear out after he came back to you
First of all, this whole thing was part of the kinky stuff we met through at the time. I didn't admit to myself I loved him at the time, plus, I was afraid that he only saw me as a way to indulge in his kinks and didn't care about me in the slightest. I met countless orbiters in the past, they all tend to be like that, except him. I did NOT continue to do anything like that once he came back to me. We weren't even really doing kinky stuff since he came back!
>but you literally told him he could cheat! He's literally looking to you for support for God's sake! Telling him stuff like that would only further his self-doubt and make him question whether or not anything you say is even true.
I was having a mental breakdown when I told him that. I told him a lot of things, I just made any attempt I could to make him stay with me! Of course I don't want him to cheat, I was just so desperate
>On the one hand, I could almost understand if you were BPD, but even then you're still the absolute worst match-up for someone like him.
I am BPD, indeed. That doesn't mean I don't have feelings, or that my feelings aren't real. I really, really love him. He's the most important person in my life, and the thought of him leaving me kills me inside
Why aren't you begging him to forgive you? Stop having BPD and humble yourself for once. It's your fault you're like this, and only you can change it.
He told me on his own that he forgave me completely, even while he still wanted to leave me…
And you can't just "stop being BPD", anon. I can only try to be a better person and a better girlfriend for him.
Yes, you can. Stop making excuses and do the right thing. Put it behind you and beg him to forgive you. Stop refusing.
It's the guy's fault for allowing it as well. How do you think he'd treat a normal girl who was nice to him? He'd be bored to death. Let him suffer, he deserves it.
I did it the moment he told me he was leaving. I started crying and I spent 3 days begging him.>>34343
… as I already said, our relationship changed since we met. He's my boyfriend. I don't play with his feelings or stuff, it's just that I realized I'm very clingy and needy, and sometimes he's stressed by mood swings, even if he doesn't complain. There are times when I really need him and I want him to spend time with me, which sometimed is incovenient for him, when he's about to fall asleep, needs to go out, etc.
I recognize this, but I don't know how to fix it…
Yo is this the mental illness thread?
Clearly he likes you as you are, with his retarded dopamine addicted brain. So why even make a fuss about it? Have a happy rollercoaster life with your masochistic bf.
I don't think he likes me because he's masochistic. Once the told me that what he liked about me is that I'm sweet and nice and caring, and that he feels like he needs to protect me and care for me or something. And I like how sweet he is, too. If he was with me to get hurt, he would have ghosted me a countless times, especially now that I treat him like my boyfriend, not a random orbiter like many.
Report back when he dumps you once someone else can give him a bigger rush, will you?
If he was a was a degenerate masochistic orbiter like the others, I wouldn't give a fuck about him, anon. He loves me for who I really am, and he showed it countless times. I think it has been over a month since we have done anything femdom related, actually.
>>34350>ghost him>borderline cheat>"you can cheat on me too anon">push and pull games
Sure, he's super in love with your sweet personality, and not hooked on your little glimpses of kindness and affection between the periods of abuse and disinterest on mantaining a monogamous committed relationship with him. The moment you stop acting like a meme bpd gir l for an extended amount of time he is going to drop you.
Because he is ashamed of his pathetic spineless self and wants to entertain an illusion of dignity, but ends up coming back the moment you throw him a bone. If what he really wanted was someone worthy of his love, then he would have found someone worthy from the beginning.
How come the only times he left me was when I acted like a total bitch towards him and whenever I show him kindness he melts and spends hours with me?
I think he only wanted someone worthy of his love. I'm fine with you guys insulting me and calling me names, but please, don't assume bad things about him.
guys like him are a dime a dozen.
He told me many times that his pride is an issue, yes, but he also told me he got over it once he got to know me better and understood that I loved him as much as he loves me.
I've had many orbiters before online, I know how they are, they are either creepy entitled incels who pretend to be nice or are only interested in the femdom part of me and are only nice as long ad they get to cum, or both.
He is not like that.
Duh? Normal guys that want their girlfriend to be nice towards them and not being a bitch? Normal guys that just love their girlfriend?
No, guys who act like described here >>34353 >>34356
If all is peachy, then I don't see why you keep complaining. My intention is not calling him names, it's just that I detected a certain glee and boasting from your posts because you think you have him wrapped around your finger, but you don't.
I'm sorry anon, it's just that I'm still anxious and scared these days.
I don't complain about him, but… idk… about myself? I'm an idiot
Your problem is easy to solve. Stop acting like a bitch for a long while and see where it goes. If he continues being head over heels for you then you know he really likes you for you and not for your bpd roleplay.
But what if he leaves me again during this time? I can't handle that
So what? If he's gone let him stay gone. If he leaves for no reason he doesn't actually like you.
I don't really care about the reason I just don't want him to leave… I am not exaggerating when I say that a few days ago when he wanted to leave I spent an entire day crying non-stop, I literally wanted to die
That's only because you got yourself into a codependent relationship. He's hooked on your instability and you're hooked on his attention. Your only choices besides ending it now are maintaining this codependency forever or making an effort to act like an actual person and not an edgy internet archetype and see if the relationship still stands.
What do you mean with "edgy internet archetype"?
the bpd clingy/abusive girlfriend.
Hi op I read through your thread. I had bpd before (yes, it is is possible to get through bpd and no longer fit the diagnostic criteria with therapy and through your own will power). I have been in a similar Rollercoaster of a relationship like yours around your age, actually I've been in a few. Honestly this relationship is probably not going to work out it seems like you both are too young and too much damage has been done, you both have a lot of maturing to do. You should try to separate yourself from this relationship and work on yourself before you drag another person into your misery and chaotic moods, it's really not fair for others. It'll probably hurt a lot for both of you to end it but in the end it'll be for the best and create even less damage if you continue to try and make this work.
I'm not really playing a part, anon>>34373
I just can't even think about staying without him, anon. These days have been amazing, everything turned back to how it was before apparently… I just want it to stay like this forever
You literally don't know this guy. It's not healthy to be this dependent on a relationship where hearing each other fucking speak is a landmark experience.
I never loved anyone as I love him
Okay but you're penpals. Are you actually going to meet him? Do you have a therapist or job or psychological safety net for if this guy meets somebody in real life?
He doesn't even watch porn. He says that the only girl he cares about is me, and yes, I do want to meet him soon actually, and live with him, too
Could you arrange to meet families, instead? Jumping ahead into a living situation can be pretty risky.
I don't live with my parents and neither does he.
It's good to meet their parents before you marry them. Likewise it would be good for him to do the same.
That of course, but we can live with each other before that! The distance is just too painful
Big mistake. If you live together before you even think about marrying, your relationship is more likely to fail. Take it slow and introduce yourselves to each other's family.
You end up feeling less inclined to leave or stay together when there's no vows or legal agreement. It depends on whether you or they are bad people, which should be known through speaking to them and their parents.
To clarify, I am not OP.
Maybe I need to be more specific, you say here >>34429
>If you live together before you even think about marrying, your relationship is more likely to fail.>more likely to fail
What do you mean by fail? You say>You end up feeling less inclined to leave or stay together>leave or stay
If failing isn't staying together or not, what is failing? If I'm not mistaken, all you're stating is that marriage takes more committment, not whether or not that commitment is a good thing.
op post more pictures like that please
My mom always said that too, it can be for several reasons.
If you live together for too long guys just get used to life like that and don't feel the need to marry you.
Both parties are more inclined to cheat or just leave instead of working on the relationship.
Sometimes guys just want to see if you can prove you will be a good housewife, and you shouldn't have to prove them anything.
And also that you shouldn't do the duties of a housewife (cleaning his stuff, cooking him every meal) and he the duties of a husband (supporting you financially) if you aren't married.
Of course there are gray areas but you get the idea. My mom has always told this to young couples and those that didn't listen always came back to tell her she was right. I can't say I agree 100% with her opinion but I'm inclined to follow her advice because she's always been proven right.
We don't care about marriage that much at the moment. We just want to be close every day>>34455
I don't have many, sorry anon
If you consider two people living unhappily together a good marriage, then you don't know what true love is. Being together beforehand will lead to you getting used to each other and sort of result in a "purgatory" state in your relationship. You won't hate each other, but you won't love each other either. >>34460
If you get close like this, you'll only be farther apart in the end. Don't waste your time on him anon.
>>34467>If you consider two people living unhappily together a good marriage,
I didn't put forward what a good marriage was, I'm asking what a marriage success state is.>then you don't know what true love is.
I don't know what true love is, I know what love is, but what are the characteristics of "true love.">Being together beforehand will lead to you getting used to each other and sort of result in a "purgatory" state in your relationship. You won't hate each other, but you won't love each other either.
Somehow being married prevents this? How? If anything the increased level of commitment increases this.
Being married beforehand usually requires you to become familiar with your step-families, which leads to a tighter bond. The less people surrounding a human, the worse the mental state. Remember that a marriage isn't just two people now. It's two families, and if that's not what you want it's better to just keep it friends, which living together can ruin.
>>34476>Being married beforehand usually requires you to become familiar with your step-families, which leads to a tighter bond.>step-families
I assume you meant in-laws?>The less people surrounding a human, the worse the mental state.
Wouldn't you want to maximize the number of people around you then? Why stop at one lover, more people=better mental state. >Remember that a marriage isn't just two people now.
I'd say the only time a marriage could be considered two people is the current era. I don't believe that's a good thing, but it is a belief.>It's two families, and if that's not what you want it's better to just keep it friends, which living together can ruin.
I don't know what you mean here about two families. There are marriages between people with at least one member not interacting with their family. Is that marriage automatically a "failure"?
I still haven't received an answer on what is a successful relationship. You keep describing the things around the relationship, but not the relationship's "goal" itself
Anon you need to meet EACH OTHER before you move in together. For fuck's sake even craigslist roommates spend some time sharing the same oxygen in meatspace before they decide to live together.
You have never met this guy. Repeat after me: You have never met this guy.
There is a world of difference between loving someone's presence as text on a screen and knowing them in reality. You're already planning on moving in with somebody who, for all you know, could have a dealbreaker you'd notice the second you get within spitting distance of them.
We broke up.. i love him so much… why..
>>33369>never even met>gives you gifts>waits till you come back to tell you goodnight
What a simp
You didn't deserve him, and the "relationship" likely never had a chance of ever working out.
I dread to think what that poor boy had to go through over the past two months.
do you want a stalker?
cause that's how you get stalkers
I just read the thread and just… wow. This is why I stay away from bpd people. They are all the same.
I made the mistake of of looking at our old chats, it hurts too much
sounds like it's ur fault sis
I'm convinced this thread is an elaborate torture of moids.
I wonder what OP is doing now
Where can I find a cute sub bf? I really want a femdom relationship
Unironically /soc/. I know it’s like 99.999% garbage but I met my twinky moid on a femdom thread there and I am in rabu and it’s great. Only do this is you’re willing to sort through colossal amounts of soy and degeneracy though.
Why do you call your own bf a moid? Sounds like you're a moid yourself advertising moidchan.
why are you shit talking soy if you're bragging about having a twinky sub bf?
It's cc. Generally even when we have bfs or even husbands we call them moids.
I would like a sub bf but my issue is they tend to be even bigger control freaks than doms
I have never met a sub with a tolerable personality. Theyre just so bitchy and effeminate.
what the hell is a sub bf, is that some weird sex thing?
I dont want a twink tho, I want a muscular guy to make my bitch :(
Yes. I wish people would stop using weird sexual lingo for innocuous desires like having a calm bf. He’s not “sub”, it’s a temperament!!
What? Did you actually look at some of those "advertisements" of soon-to-be-troons, or did you subject yourself to wading through the mountain of horny moid messages from your own ad?
holy shit op and the other girls who say they're in the same situation as op: go outside and meet real men, see if you're actually into femdom or just into the attention.>>58382
/soc/ is filled with ridditors, moids looking for a quick nut, ethots looking for orbiters, and people looking to troll. I wouldn't trust it.
you're better off looking on reddit than /soc/ , personally I'd suggest fetlife if you must since it's more fetish oriented but it's better to avoid online dating at all.
seek professional help and get your shit sorted.
he read your post and lurks cc