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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 34458

What do you ladies think of sub boys? I just got off a 1 year relationship with one. Was too clingy. Too annoying. Too insecure (worst one of all). I couldn't handle it. I'm a hardcore sub anyways so we were a terrible match. I'd rarely top him and he'd never top me unless I begged. Of course he cried like a baby when we broke up. But yeah. ANy experience with sub guys or what's your opinion on them?

Anonymous 34459

I have one, I talked about my story in another thread. I learned that people have sometimes contrasting needs inside of them, and in a relationship both needs must be adressed by the other person.
For example, I love being adored and "controlling him" sexually, but also like feeling safe and protected by a strong man; he likes behaving like my puppy and showering me with worship and affection, but he also wants to feel like a manly, strong, dominating man in the bedroom at times, because that's how he is with everyone except me. If the relationship doesn't have both partners care about the other one in their totality, at some point it will be very conflicting for at least one of them.
In your case, your relationship was doomed from the start, I wonder how you guys managed to make it last so much.

Anonymous 34461

im a khv but id love a cute boy to bully and make him sweat a little

Anonymous 34468

What like put him on a treadmill?

Anonymous 34469

Love em. The most dominant guy I'd date would be gentle vanilla.

Sucks that you guys just weren't compatible in that way, especially if you were in other ways (which I imagine is why you were together for a year?).

Anonymous 34480

Which thread specfiically if it's still up? I honestly have no idea how we lasted a whole year. I guess I was desperate and lonely for that amount of time. THen I got new friends and a new support group. Grew in popularity and just kinda left him.. but it's ok. He'll find someone I think..

Anonymous 34481


What about them do you like?

Anonymous 34489

Our desires line up basically.
I just want someone passive and needy who likes to be tossed around. Maybe some harder stuff, maybe some mommy stuff, I'm into it all.

It's just great when boys act cute and soft.

Anonymous 34490

How did you end up with a sub boy even though you're a hardcore sub?

Anonymous 34494


We clicked very well in high school when we were 15 ish and we were very very good best friends. Told him many things that I've never even told my own sister. We don't fit in a relationship though as I learned. We're still best friends to this day though. He's been a bit more insecure and whiny about everything though.

Anonymous 34495

I guess I can understand the cute and soft. Girls have their prefereances. Very valid!

Anonymous 34497

This is my thread

Anonymous 34498

I have zero experience, but it's a big turn on for me. I'm ugly, so very few guys who I find attractive will even touch me, so my options are limited and the only guy I've ever dommed is twice my size and any time I wanted to force him to do something, just let it happen and it really killed that aspect for me because there is no way I could physically contend with him. I just have to focus on the manipulation aspect, I guess.

Anonymous 34499

Damn, that's awful anon. You really just let popularity get to your head like that?

Anonymous 34501

more like threaten him and see the fear in his eyes uwu

Anonymous 34505

That doesn't sound very loving, anon. Maybe hugging him tight enough that he can't escape and telling him he belongs to you, I'd understand.

Anonymous 34514

>hugging him tight enough that he can't escape and telling him he belongs to you
This is oddly specific all things considered

Anonymous 34515

Well so is threatening him until he's scared. I'd rather reassure than outright abuse. Just a preference.

Anonymous 34517

I mean, have you done this before or is it just something you think you would like to do?
If he actually struggled would you release him?
Or is his struggling part of the appeal?

Anonymous 34525

>I mean, have you done this before or is it just something you think you would like to do?
The latter, sadly.
>If he actually struggled would you release him?
>Or is his struggling part of the appeal?
Yes. You hold on until he gives up, tell him he belongs to you and release him. If he still holds on, you've succeeded.

Anonymous 34527

>hold on until he gives up
So how does this work?
Do you just lift until you are able to overpower anybody you come across, or do you just go for twigs?
What about height? Wouldn't it be awkward trying to pin a guy a foot taller than you?

Anonymous 34543

They don't have to be twiggy, but small is a must.

Anonymous 34545


So are you tall or do you just go for manlets?
What is a manlet in your eyes anyway?
And i'm just asking out of curiosity but, whats the worst thing you would make him do?
Would you make eat you out or something like that?
Also, how would you view him as? A pet? A boyfriend? A husband to be?
Would you actually try to marry anybody you used your methods on, or would you just dump him eventually?
Do you still expect a person like the one your after to approach you, or do you actively approach them?

Anonymous 34550

>inb4 Domics

Anonymous 34552

>So are you tall or do you just go for manlets?
>What is a manlet in your eyes anyway?
>Would you make eat you out or something like that?
>Also, how would you view him as? A pet? A boyfriend? A husband to be?
All of the above.
>Would you actually try to marry anybody you used your methods on, or would you just dump him eventually?
Idk it's just a fantasy of mine really
>Do you still expect a person like the one your after to approach you, or do you actively approach them?
I wish I could say the latter, but it's mostly the former.

Anonymous 34553

Domics is a small guy

Anonymous 34554

>It's mostly the former
Isn't this line contradictory to the kind of person you are after?
I do not imagine that a person as submissive as you would like is the kind of person to actually approach a woman.

Anonymous 34555

Lmao at you pushing domics on another manlet chaser.

Shout out to anon for also, well…not chasing, but desiring little men. I wish you luck, too. It's difficult.

Anonymous 34594

Submissive doesn't mean passive.

Anonymous 34595

While that is true, there is certainly a large overlap between the two groups.
Besides, out of the people who would approach you, how many do you think match your specific degree of submissiveness?
And how would they even differentiate you from other women who just want to be on the bottom?
And generally, social shaming from other men and women is enough to keep them from expressing their desires openly.
Ultimately, a woman approaching a man is one of the best signals she can give towards her desire to lead the relationship.
Though you should probably take the time to get to know the guy and establish an emotional bond of sorts before claiming him. Otherwise you are just setting yourself up for failure.

Anonymous 34596

I agree with your first point. However there is also a huge overlap with men who don't really want a relationship, but who also will accept it if presented the option (by you initiating) and halfass it. That's why I don't advocate approaching men anymore despite being so adamant about it in the past. I encountered way too many lazy, low-effort, passive people by doing that. It is truly annoying because I like going for what I want, but I hate the time and effort involved in weeding out men who don't actually want to be with me, but are more in the mindset of "any women will do." Sad matter of fact is, letting men make the first move is a good way to weed out men who don't want to put in the effort for you or your relationship. At least, this was monumentally important for me because I treat relationships very seriously, so I want my partner to be the same way.

If a man is truly interested in getting to know you, he'll reach out to you whether he's submissive or dominant. My boyfriend is submissive and he was the first one to initiate and talk to me. He was scared and nervous too. So really, there's no excuse.

Anonymous 34597

I will say that I completely understand what you mean, in that you are generally more likely to find low effort men than you are to find high effort men if you take the initiative. I will also state that I respect the seriousness you apply to your relationships.
But you seem to forget there are different layers of initiation. There is of course the layer where initially greet the person and maybe strike a chat with them.
Then there is the layer where you actively arrange to meet the person.
Then comes the layer where you might ask to live with the person.
Then there of course is the layer of sexual initiation
So the question I will propose to you, is how many layers must the man take the initiative to prove that he is not passive in your eyes? Does he simply have to approach you and talk to you?
Does he have to make the moves on you sexually?
And what would you qualify as an active man?
Is it as you stated, simply a man who reaches out to get to know you, or is it more than that?

Anonymous 34598

Personally I like a man who takes initiative in all aspects of the relationship. Now this might make people here say "you don't want a submissive man, then!" and to which I say, wait a fucking second and let me explain.

Active participation in the relationship includes asking me out on dates and planning them on occasion (I also like planning too, so I like us to trade off on this), actively listening and engaging in conversation (you'd be surprised how many people can't do this), being thoughtful and doing tasks to make my life easier, and after they get to know me, anticipatory service. Now with the last one I don't just mean sexual service, but things like thinking of foods or things I might like or how they can better serve me, bringing me water if they see I don't have enough, and so on. So, general attentiveness. All of this they do with great thought and consideration for me, so that's where the submissive angle comes in. So you can see this is how a man can be submissive and also proactive. You might think of a butler who is not passively waiting around and needs to be ordered every single time to get the idea, but someone who learns the wants and needs of who they are serving and acts accordingly.

When it comes to anything intimate I like to one-sidedly initiate until they know what I am comfortable with and enjoy. Although I feel like all men, not just submissive men, should concede on this because typically men are the ones to make women feel vulnerable and uncomfortable in sexual situations. So they should wait until they learn the women's boundaries and expectations.

For some reason, submissive men are expected to be passive which is seriously lame. When you look at the standard submissive women are held to, they are expected to be proactive as fuck when it comes to service, and treat their man like a king. Super annoying that submissive men are conflated as incompetent wimps who want mommy shit, where he just sits on his ass and the """dom""" wipes his ass and babies him. Hmmm… sounds kinda familiar to how submissive women treat their doms just in a different tone.

So yeah, I don't want that. I want the kind of relationship, where my man goes out of his way to please me instead of passively sitting there like a brainless incompetent dummy who can't think for himself. Hope that makes sense.

Anonymous 34600

I guess this explains why some guys on the internet mock women for being "picky". Because guys would accept anyone just to be in a relationship, even if it's a shitty one where they don't truly care about the woman they're with.

Anonymous 34602

Exactly. I know it's fun to be the woman who pursues, but in relation to men most of the time it's at the detriment to the woman. Low quality men (there are more than you would think) will take what they can get and also think you are easy and a fool for making the first move. Good men will appreciate and likely find it attractive, but most of the time approaching will land you a dud rather than this type of man.

You can also compare this initiative thing to friendships too. I have no problem initiating hanging out with my girl friends every time because I know they actually want to be with me. If I stop, they initiate. Most of the time women don't keep people very close to them if they don't want them in their lives. Meanwhile men will string along women in a close relationship just because they can, even though they have little to no emotional investment. That's why you have to sit back and see if they will actually work for you. My rule of thumb is, if a man isn't more proactive and thoughtful as me and my best girl friends are to each other, they ain't shit.

Anonymous 34670

I love submissive men. I think all men are naturally submissive towards women, you see it everywhere, but we must treat them with equality and respect because they go through a lot of shit in life and are also a bit of airheads. My boyfriend is a switch. There is definitely stuff we will never settle on that I like, such as cock cages, cbt, pegging, but he's still loving it when he pleases me with his subby side. I don't even entertain the dom in him, if I did it would be forced and unnatural, so idc if that makes me wrong.

Anonymous 34842

So like when a guy is on bottom and you make him do all the work and he enjoys doing so? You just sort of slap him around if he's about to come to bring him back down.

I wanna top a guy with a strapless strap on. Anyone else get this urge?

Anonymous 34846

Yup. Although it's more like we're both active partners instead of him sitting around expecting to be jerked off and edged for 5 hours straight while I get nothing in return.

Pegging is fun but I prefer the ones with straps that hold the base of the dildo against your clit. Also it is super hot to have a guy ride you too, very nice view and you can hold his hips down and pound him hard.

Anonymous 34862


Pic related looks like it gets you on the inside and outside, just wondering if anyone ever used this on a guy because they were designed for lesbian sex.

I'm talking about laying on top of the guy and making him do all the hardwork from bottom so you can just position yourself on top of him just right.

Anonymous 34863

I don't use those but I hear that they are awkward to use and end up falling out a lot. If you do get one I suggest you get a harness to hold it in place as well.

Anonymous 35132

I used to love this one, had the realdoe version in skin color.
The vibrator is useless and takes me out of the moment of simply ravishing boipussy.

Anonymous 35133


Has this sudden need for sub boys arisen in you naturally, or is it a thing which has been suggested to you by smut?

Anonymous 35333


Do you have a discord?
I always joke about CBT and pegging and I think it’s become beyond a joke. !!!

Anonymous 35400

I think it's incredibly hot but I would want my life partner to be a switch like me.

No what happened was I started getting really turned off by dom arrogancy and I've never found crude dirty talk arousing in any way. Doms make oral sex really terrible and unfun. I'm just really out of it if he doesn't show me or encourage me that it's making him feel good. Doms in general make sex unfun if they have the attitudes of "women like to be raped" or "women can never truly orgasm".
I'm also repulsed by receiving anal sex and don't enjoy it at all.

Finding out that femdom was a thing and that males could be submissive is what saved me from thinking straight sex could never be enjoyable unless the guy was the gentlest man on the planet.

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