What the fuck is my problem
Everytime I get super closer (friendship or romantic wise) to a boy I feel uncomfortable.
It's like I notice all their shortcomings at once and I'm disgusted by them. Maybe we're on a call we're chilling having fun and all of a sudden this wave of disgust comes from nowhere and I feel awful.
I have some pretty legit friends that really care about me, much more that they should and I don't wanna feel like that.
This is why I never had a relationship.
And I'm straight I have tried doing something with a girl and I don't swing that way.
Even if I like the dude this happens at random times it's so weird what's wrong with me.
It only didn't happen with one dude that I was madly in love with but we were never together. Before him I had this and I had given up but now that we don't talk anymore I genuinely wanna love someone I feel so fucking lonely and what's wrong is me
Not sure if it's the same thing, but in all my relationships I had brief feelings like this after a couple of dates, like "wow, I'm really not sure if dating him is a good idea, I'm really not attracted to him anymore, I don't want him to touch me" etc. But in cases where I had initially had a crush on him, and where I knew he objectively fulfilled my standards, these feelings passed really quickly and I eventually fell in love. Try to ignore the feelings and give guys a little longer maybe? Obviously not weeks or anything, but sometimes I guess people just get cold feet which causes a drive to get away from someone, and this drive can manifest as rationally unfounded disgust.
are you only attracted by guy though ? I use to have similar reactions back when I didn't realise that I wasn't attracted by men. It might just be a coincidence though…