Dealing with aging Anonymous 36
I'm in my late 20s and now I miss being younger and more naive and feel like I lost my opportunity to have cute stereotypically female experiences. I mingle with much younger people sometimes due to shared hobbies (weeb stuff) and I realize that I feel way too old for it (and them). It makes me feel bitter about missing out on all the fun stuff because I feel like I wasted my entire youth being depressed and anxious. I really dread becoming even older.
Same here. I feel like I consist of missed chances. The whole teen experiences people are supposed to make while I sat at home and hated everyone.
But then again I look back and I am glad I survived. Sounds really dumb, I know, but I also think back now due to a project I am working on and I notice how close I was to fucking up even worse.
I am glad I made it out of teenage life because I am now free to leave a situation when it's unbearable. Like school for example, that was horrible and I am just glad I never have to go back again. I have the freedom to not talk to my parents when i dont want to. I could quit my job and do something else. (at least I enjoy that illusion. of course, turbocapitalism makes this a lie.) I can go into a store and buy three cans of soda and drink them all and I can watch every movie I want to. Hah.
I dont want to age either. I already feel inappropriately young in my head and like an idiot. Like a teenager stuck in an old body because I just didnt fulfill some supersecret mission in teenage life in order to mentally lvl up.
I'm also in my late 20's, but since I never had weeb friends I don't feel like I'm missing much. It's always made me sad not having friends who like anime and geeky stuff though, and I realize the older I get the harder it will be to find friends with weeby interests, unless they are completely autistic or take shit like anime far too seriously. One reason why I'm leaving the United States and permanently moving to Asia is because at least my friends there aren't so jaded and don't act like old people.
At least I feel I have some solution in regards to friendships, but what bothers me most is age discrimination. I'm not going to start my career until I'm 28/29, and sometimes the thought of this keeps me up at night. I have a lot of unpaid experience, but am terrified by the invisible ticking clock counting down to old age. If you don't achieve things by a certain age people look down on you, and you might be passed up in many ways, and I still haven't even started saving for retirement. Just writing this makes me nauseated. Likewise, I'm still single so won't be getting married until my 30's (if I'm lucky).
When I was in my early 20's the physical affects of aging bothered me the most, but now that I'm in my late 20's I've come to peace with there at least being botox and bizarre beauty treatments. The issue is paying for them and having enough free time to recuperate.
Having lived in a few countries abroad, I've become a bit bitter having been raised primarily in the U.S. with the Mah indEpeNdent WomEnz Rights lifestyle. Sometimes I'd just like to be a housewife. It would make life so much easier and more enjoyable spending my days cooking, cleaning, watching korean dramas and doing grocery shopping. I feel like 30's is too old to enjoy having newborns and I don't want to be completely dependent on another person to pay bills…so I'm planning on finding a rich beta (don't care if old or fat), marrying him, and waiting for him to drop dead while I save some money working. Then I can retire to the onsens of Japan and wait for death to take me. Meh.
Sorry if I sound really stupid asking that question - I am a gigantic homo, so le independent Womenz lifestyle was the only way I could ever imagine my life to go - but do men really look down on women living the housewife-lifestyle? I always thought (probably naively so) that many men would adore to have a sweet waifu?
Tbh I'm not doing anything for my retirement either. I might as well get hit by a bus tomorrow or el Trumpo nukes the country I live in because he thought it was North Korea lol
My goal is to become an author because I'm only really good at imagining things that will never happen and being a depressive shit which are like the prime qualities of an author if you ask me. Also its a thing that allows you to live the waifu life and still make some money if all goes well and its something you might be able to do at old age as well. But maybe that's a stupid illusion - time will tell.
I'm in my late 20's and dislike aging and the physical changes like everyone else. A good diet and skincare helps though.
The main mental change for me is that I am much more aware how everything will end, that there is a restriction to everything. That you won't be as successful/smart/rich/popular because your time and body has limits. That you can't fulfill so many of your dreams. Sure, you know that even when you are young, but you become much more aware of just how severe that is as you age.
A good change though is that I feel much more free. I can decide so many more things than when I was in my early 20's. Things like who I spend my time with or where I live. I don't feel like I need to meet so many of the expectations others have of me.
As usual it probably depends on who you are with/your culture.
Having a housewife means you are the only one who brings in the money, which especially when you have kids can be very stressful for the one who goes to work.
It's all on their shoulders and the slightest failure might crush your whole family's future.
Some just don't see the appeal in a partner that "sits at home" the whole day. Especially when they have no children.
For others it's the ideal thing because they like the thought of them bringing in the money, coming home to a nice meal etc.
Some just want the complete control on their partner.
It's the other way around too. Some just want the housewife lifestyle because they are lazy. Some because they enjoy the thought of being financially supported by someone else/caring for someone in return and don't mind giving up some of their freedom for that. Some because they want children and can't/don't want to handle both working outside and at home.
In short: some guys probably do, some don't
>>36>>It makes me feel bitter about missing out on all the fun stuff because I feel like I wasted my entire youth being depressed and anxious.
I personally missed out a lot because I was so "edgy" and "different" and hated on "normies" and their experiences.
Like getting drunk, taking drugs, slutting around a little, going to parties. I rather stayed at home feeling superior for not doing that kind of stuff. I also lived very rural and was a chubby goth girl (as said, was edgy), I was an outsider anyway and I guess I wanted to feel better about this by going full tsundere and "I don't want to do that kind of stuff anyway, b-baka!".
I have a cool girlfriend who was the total opposite, i.e. she fucked around, took drugs, did all kinds of stupid shit. She regrets it now, but I am jealous because I feel like I missed out on something you can only really do when you are young and stupid.
Especially the whole sexual stuff. She's kinky, but I still think it's sad I never got to try out certain things or was a bit more brave.
Now it's too late, because I am not interested in betraying her (and I'm too shy anyway, even if we'd ever break up).
Overall I feel like I'm in a good spot in life.
Good relationship to my girlfriend, have friends, have hobbies, got a good job now. We both hate kids, so we'll end up as DINKs.
I just want a relaxed life and got no crazy ambitions and don't want to get old anyway. Will probably kill myself with 55, before my health goes south (shitton of cancer/stroke cases in my family, no thanks).
I don't feel bad that I didn't do all the 'fun stuff' like drinking, drugs and sex. I hate clubs and the people they attract.
The one thing I do miss is not being able to go on fun adventures or have a job/the same opportunities as my peers in better countries because we had no money.
I'm studying abroad now and this is the first time I've left my country, in my mid-20s. I'm bitter that their parents could afford sending them on Erasmus exchange programmes, to visit their friends in Iceland, to their summer house in Malaga, etc. They go on holiday every year and can afford to because they've been working all the time since they were 16 and I didn't have that opportunity. I've never had a job. And I don't think I'll ever get one because of it. There are always so many barriers to success: language, ethnicity, work experience, 'worldliness', volunteering… I can't do any of that because I only speak English as a foreign language and I study in a non-English speaking country (Masters). They treat Masters students like tourists so this whole thing is pretty useless.
Everyone tells me I should feel happy that I even got to do this, but all I know is I'm going to feel so depressed when I go back home and start looking for jobs that pay €400/month after living in a country where the average salary is ten times that and I don't have to be scared of getting sick because I know I can afford healthcare.
If only I were pretty enough to be a gold digger. I'm doing well at uni but nobody cares, they've got plenty of their own people doing the same thing, and without the language barrier.
I wake up daily in fear of nasolabial folds
I wish I took care of my body better and dressed nicer in my teens/early twenties. I am 26 now and what some would consider skelly, but I feel like I could have been so much more fashionable, friendly, etc., if I did then what I do now.>>47
Re: the men resenting the housewife lifestyle, it just depends on who you talk to. I think a lot of guys would love it but lack the means to do, so they still expect equality on that alone. You do see those /r9k/-types of guys wanting a sweet, mommy-type of girl who cooks and cleans for them.
I work from home and take care of the house for my boyfriend while he pays for the majority of the bills, such as rent, utilities, etc., while all I have to do is pay for groceries (still rather expensive, since we buy locally, around $500/mo. lmao). I'm not a true "stay at home" girlfriend since I still work full-time and make a middling salary, though.
you've put it on words anon, i'm crying.
I regret not taking better care of my skin in my teens and early twenties, so much tanning and never covering up my skin.
Shit OP, I hate sounding like a cliché but are you me? I have this text file that I like to type feels in sometimes and have an entry I that fits perfectly in this thread.
>I've been going through a sort of "mid-life crisis" of sorts thanks to some developing wrinkles on my face. I'm not even that old, take relatively good care of myself, stay indoors a majority of the time, wear sunscreen, etc etc, but realizing that I'm aging despite all this is leaving me feeling hopeless and nostalgic for the youth and beauty I've never had or fully embraced. I feel like I missed out big time and I'd like to try and make it up but being poor means I'm pretty fucked. I want to use this as a motivation to turn my life around but goddamn is it making me hysterical. I keep checking the mirror dozens of times throughout the day hoping I'll see some sort of improvement but nope, still there. I'm paranoid they'll only get worse.
I feel you all on a spiritual level but I have thankfully found some ways to calm myself down when I REEEE about aging;
• looking at successful older women
• looking at women who start businesses at like 40
Hopefully this helps someone. Truthfully though a lot of my aging worries are purely vanity based and mega "nasolabial folds pls never arrive". I'm still working on a way to combat that…
Tory Burch is my aging-inspo. She's 50, looks young as fuck, started Tory Burch in her 40's and despite people thinking it would fail, her brand is wildly successful. She's just all-over awesome!
This might seem like meme advice but a lot of you really should take into account the fact that your fears relative to ageing exist parallel to your performativity in the eyes of men.
For most women as we travel through life what it ultimately comes down to on a subconscious level is "will I remain sexually attractive?", and that is such a fucked up mindset to get sucked into because as we all know youth is finite and everybody dies. Yes it would be nice if we could all remain beautiful and elastic forever, but dwelling on concepts like that is about as productive as dwelling on that $20 you lost a couple of years back, and much the same as your youth, it doesn't matter how much mental energy you devote to thinking about it because it's never coming back.
You ever noticed how the collective fear of becoming unattractive/ageing is often the primary tool men wield against women in order to try and cause them to submit? Go to any forum, get into an argument with a man and almost immediately it's "You're probably fat/ugly/old/no man will ever want you". Men on the other hand are raised under a different rule-set entirely, and for them their primary fear is most often defined as a loss of power. What's REALLY interesting however is that our fears similarly relate to a loss of power also, but as women we're instructed that our power exists in tandem with both our sexuality and our youth, and so as we age, our power inevitably diminishes. This is why the middle-aged male in the position of power is to be respected whereas the middle-aged female in the position of power is to be reviled. We say men acquired their power through hard-work, but the woman? Oh she fucked her way to the top. Who's dick did she suck to get there? She cheated, because remember girls, women who've passed their 'prime' are incapable of success because they lost their power some 16 years ago when they hit their 30's.
This is why it's so important for you all to stop thinking of yourselves only as women and start thinking of yourselves as people. If you really want to try and overcome your fear of ageing you need to stop wasting so much of your life pursuing the unpursuable and start allocating more of that energy into building yourselves up as people.
Be the best that you can be as you exist today, and you do the same for tomorrow and the day after too.
TL;DR - you do you gurlfran.
I'm really glad you posted this. I grew up around few relationship models, and they all reflected this concept. I ended up in an abusive relationship because I didn't value myself beyond how men perceived me and valued me. It still took me a few years of being in a healthy relationship and in DBT therapy that I was able to start bringing that idea of thinking of myself and others as people rather than as men or women and it really has changed my life.
Damn, anon. Great post, thank you. You're absolutely correct.
So true. It's really important to build self esteem independent of what men think of you and find sources of confidence and happiness that have nothing to do with how attractive you're considered. Passions, hobbies and self improvement are the key in my opinion, plus developing healthy thought processes.
>>364>>364>Tory Burch>Rich AF family>Inspiration
Hope you were born a Hilton, Trump or similar
Aww I never knew that! Guess I'm going to have to find a new aging inspo.
Had a feeling this was the case. It's rare anyone spontaneously becomes successful like that unless they have a financial cushion and connections.
I really want to frame this post and put it up on my wall. Not because I didn't share this opinion prior to reading it, but because regardless of knowing this in the back of my head, the forefront of my thoughts are negative when it comes to aging and it continues to cause me so much stress.
My fear of aging is almost entirely accomplishments related. I won't be graduating with by Bachelor's until I'm 25. I only have some non-related, non-desk job "work experience" that is largely retail and a few months of tutoring. I don't expect to get a job where I can earn enough to support myself right out of college, especially with my somewhat useless degree (Sociology) and if I continue school, the soonest I can get my Master's is around 28 or 29. I will never have an independent young adulthood with roommates.
It's humiliating to be so far behind and to be living with my parents. I really wish I had been less of a depressed sack of shit but instead I wasted 3 years of my life post high school as a NEET. I lie to people about my situation so I don't seem so pathetic.
I'd rather have nasolobial folds than be this pathetic. I'd trade looking a bit older for being an independent young person with an okay job.
>>650>I'd rather have nasolobial folds than be this pathetic
lmao, this made me laugh, anon.
But your situation sounds exactly like my situation.
Graduated too late, gained confidence in myself too late and experienced the "waking up" too late and now the regrets pile on every birthday that comes.
I do not mind aging skin wise or whatever (eventhough i don't particularly like it and i avoid everything that contributes to it), but i mind aging because i feel like i have wasted my youth being a useless piece of shit NEET with 0 life experience and haven't lived any of the experiences you are "supposed" to live when you are a teenager/younger than 20.
I feel like if I took out the years of my life/memories from when i was 14 to 20 i'd lose virtually nothing of value.
If i didn't spend my youth as a shut in depressed NEET, i am absolutely sure i wouldn't be as afraid of aging and dying as i am now.
>>650>I'd rather have nasolobial folds
Same, except I did move out at 19 but I was and still am so poor that I can't go on holiday or do anything but exist in absolute isolation because the only way to meet people where I live is going to clubs/pubs, getting drunk and grinding your arse against some rando to the beat of bad techno music. Which is expensive.
>>650>My fear of aging is almost entirely accomplishments related
We all grow older and it can't be prevented, but this really fucks me up.>>652
kind of summed it up nicely. Except I'll never go to college because I'm poor and there's literally nothing in my life I could be proud of or say it's a real accomplishment.
At least I made someone laugh lol.
Some semi-drunken late night thoughts: Learn from the people doing shittier than you, from women who have 7 kids with different baby daddies. It's what I do. I feel like the biggest hassle I've avoided is ruining my life with kids. Yeah I got out of my nasty funk pretty late, but it could have been so much worse if I were saddled with the children that I've always been pressured to have. I know to some it's pretty obvious, but there's a staggering number of women my age with (multiple) 5-12 year old children who never got to do anything and probably never will because of that. It's a worryingly common scenario that I’ve been avoiding.
I think the one great thief of youth is children. You already have people reproducing who really have no means to support themselves or their kids and they age tremendously as a result. Hell, it ages you even if you have more than enough to raise them. But even if you struggle with a shit job, you won't have to waste your life points on raising entire human beings. That energy is yours.
I used to be scared of aging. I was relatively closed off/awkward in my teens and early 20s so I felt like I wasted my youth and couldn't get these experiences but then I got older and would meet people in their 40s/50s/60s still going out with their friends, getting drunk and having funny experiences (just more tame or like "hahaha we had to take a cart back from the vineyard!!" instead of "we got fucked up and walked back from ihop and broke into a park!") so I realized that the experiences I thought I would be missing I could still do.
I think the only thing I kind of regret having missed is that quintessential college life experience? I went to a big university so I lived at home and would commute, and there really was no dorm/frat/college party life, everyone lived at home and kept to their own social circles so it was a bit lonely. I managed to experience it a bit in my postgrad years which was nice! But there's that twang of like "oh that experience of meeting people Freshman year and then growing close and moving in together and stuff will never happen"
I've also started taking adult lessons of stuff I've always wanted to do! I don't think people should give up on their dreams just because they are older. I've been taking tap classes and once I find a teacher I like I will also be taking singing lessons!
>>660>I think the only thing I kind of regret having missed is that quintessential college life experience?
You honestly didn't miss much Anon. I went off and had the big university experience, and it only took me one year of constant partying, hangovers, drugs, misadventure and internal social drama before I realised how miserable and alone I was and how desperate I'd become to move back to rurality. I know that kind of lifestyle might appear fast-paced and glamorous to the uninitiated, but it's very much hollow. I consider that year of my life a wasted one because I gained literally nothing from it.
Thanks for saying that, because I too feel like I missed out on college. I know it's probably not for me, since I'm way too shy and withdrawn anyway, but that just makes me glorify it more in the same way that I totally romanticize all-girls
boarding school experience when in real life I would've hated it.
>>41>a teenager stuck in an old body because I just didnt fulfill some supersecret mission in teenage life in order to mentally lvl up.
That's the most accurate way to put it
I'm mid 20s and I feel like my fuse is getting shorter as I age. Things I used to laugh off are now indicators of people's shortcomings and untrustworthiness. I'm worried I'm going to morph into a "let me speak to your manager" type. I shudder at the thought.
This. Seriously, I had the whole party lifestyle, fucking around going to parties, meeting people. It's all gone. I don't see any of the shitty people I partied with and I wouldn't want to see them anyway. You'd have to be crazy not to regret a lot of that shit tbh.
Also, no offense to anyone but most of the people who look back on that time as "the best time of their lives" are either seeing it through rose-tinted glasses or are really shallow. I looked like I was having a sweet-ass time but really I was just ignoring the fact that the pressure of school was SO stressful and the people around me were assholes. Dorm life generally sucks and most college experiences are just the sequel to high school.
If you want to learn shit which is the only worthwhile thing about college/university then you'll actually do a lot better going in your late 20s through your 30s.
I was quite ugly as a teen and only grew into my looks in my early 20s. But I got married young, we were both virgins and we haven't had sex in a year because he's just really shit in bed. I've tried to teach him but he just. doesn't. get it. In my teens I only had one boyfriend who had literal Aspergers and thought kissing was just trying to swallow the girl's face like a guppy.
I look nice now and my SO is lovely but I've never been on a date, nobody has ever bought me flowers, he doesn't like to go to the opera with me on my birthday even though tickets were cheap and I literally got down on my knees and begged him, he only wears hoodies and plays video games and says he loves me a few times a day. I've asked him to put more effort into his appearance and try to be more romantic and he just sits there expecting me to hold his hand and tell him what to do, which isn't the point, I don't want a dress up doll, I want a grown ass man who knows how to take care of himself and I put a lot of effort into looking nice for him so why can't he? He always says he's poor but if he'd just go to H&M and get something on sale, he'd look miles better. He still wears the shit he wore when he was 16.
I love him to death and he's a wonderful person but I'm just not attracted to him at all because he never tries and expects me to do it all for him because 'I don't know how, lol'.
I know for a fact he'd be a shite father but I've no other family than his and I don't want to cut ties with them because I love them and they're lovely people, they just spoiled him rotten as a child.
I wish I could interrail, travel with friends and meet cute guys instead of listening to my SO belch and fart. I feel like we're in our 60s.
Oh my god what a nightmare, anon. Every relationship has problems but those are some deal breakers tbh.
Humans are creatures of comfort, he's not changing because he knows you need him (financially?), you can't leave him and you love him.
Do you have a job? Separate bank accounts? Friends you can trust?
I'm not at all suggesting you should split but if women have no other options we can get trapped.
In my opinion, even if you're completely in love with a guy and there's no problems whatsoever, if you're not financially and emotionally independent then you're crippling yourself in case of emergency.
Yelling at this dude is not going to help but going out and enjoying yourself will. Start living your life independently with your career, your social life, your hobbies. If he wants to be part of your life he should have to catch up.
The worst thing to do is to use him as an excuse to stop living your life. It's YOUR life, srsly.
Full time college student so no job, no friends either, do have my own bank account however. Parents are knackers
which is why I got married so young. There was no other way out. It's also why I used to look horrible and had to learn how to dress/groom myself properly. I'm otherwise fairly self-reliant and can do/fix most things around the house myself, cut my own hair etc so I don't really need much to live comfortably.
I also started college too late but now I'm in the top 5% in my year so I hope I can get a job or an internship soon.
I'd live my life to the fullest but I haven't the means to and his family are the only people who I trust and he's been with me through a lot of difficult situations.
I also feel terrible for even thinking about separation, I suppose I've just been conditioned into thinking it's the Worst Thing Ever and I'm genuinely scared people will think of me as a dirty, used up rag if we do split. Idk what to think.
By the time I become fully financially independent all the normal people will have settled down and I'll be left raising someone else's kids or shagging a junkie if someone even does become interested in me all of a sudden.
I think two things that might help is trying to find female friends in real life, and speaking to his parents for advice.
Hopefully they care for you as deeply as you do them, and they do not take it badly, but just go to his mom and ask for advice on how to make the marriage more romantic. Maybe see if she can push him to do things together, even try to do group dates with his parents and you guys like out to Sunday brunches.
And also I think having female friends IRL will help with that loneliness, and you can do things with them that your husband doesn't want to do. Hell, maybe some of them have bfs as well that you can do couple things with?
Try reaching out to girls in class you seem to connect with or have a similar vibe to you! It's tough but I think it will really help!
I wish we could be friends.
R-really? That's so nice of you to say, anon ;;>>817
I'm definitely trying… In a few months I'll have more opportunities to make friends, I've high hopes and thankfully I'm over my lonely and desperate phase. Thanks for the encouragement!
>I wasted my entire youth being depressed and anxious.
OP, I used to feel something similar, but I think my depression and all my terrible experiences made me wiser. I'm thankful for all the experiences, my mistakes and terrible decisions when I was still very young because I also had all the time to do better and all the support from my family.
Believe me, it's better to commit terrible mistakes while you are young than as an adult, so please don't feel bitter.
not the OP, but I feel like they might have been saying they regret not going out and making mistakes due to anxiety and depression keeping them from reaching out and trying new things.
The worst thing about aging is that I lost my excitement.
I'm not referring to risky behaviour. For example when I saw an unusual make up look I used to think 'Thats amazing! I want to try it too.' and looked into what I could use as supplies.
Today it's more like 'Hm, looks nice.'
Many things feel dull and boring now.
I feel like at least in the US that teen years are seriously overrated to the point where it's like people feel anxiety if they haven't done something crazy as a teen. In all honesty, most of the stuff movies portray as teen experiences are more of college experiences tbh.
Also, looking older is such a plus in terms of being respected. I would trade respect where I work, what people think when they first meet me, etc. for me being mistaken for a middle schooler as a 20 year old. People value youth far too much imo. Even when I was a high schooler, girls would get into arguments as to who looked the youngest out of all of them and it's so saddening because of how image focused even high school girls are. Realistically, it feels like people constantly invalidate your thoughts and feelings because you don't look like an adult and it hurts that the first insult people throw against you is that you're a child.
I just want to get married. I want to be a young bride, if possible. If I can't be a cute girl anymore, or don't have much time left, I can be a mother to cute girls and boys instead! A love of cuteness is naturally tied to a maternal drive.
My boyfriend is great, he is very kind, he is funny and sweet, he is very intelligent, he is an IT professional making a high salary. There are many great things about him.
But, he probably has lolicon tendencies…
He claims he doesn't like loli, but I've seen him interested in anime girls that are like semi-loli (middle school age physique) and he likes small breasts, dislikes large breasts, for doujins he goes to nhentai.net which hosts all the loli doujins that exhentai does. I even translate and typeset doujins, he likes that a lot.
He's a weeb and loves Kancolle. Most of his favourite Kancolle girls are Destroyer ships, which are designed to look like middle school girls in boat costumes.
He loves it when I wear frilly 'soft sister' type clothes. He's always said that I look young and 'so cute' and 'innocent' and 'cute is sexy' and he loves it. I also get carded often. He's not into DDlg, but he often pets my head and coddles me, playfully teases me like if I were a kid.
My boyfriend and I are the same age, 23. (Yuck! Just that number gets me upset. And it's only going to get bigger…) He and I met when we were 19. He says he thought I was about 15 when he first met me, so he was slightly apprehensive about dating me, but found out my real age a few dates later. Psychologically, first impressions count, ("imprinting") so in his brain, he'll always remember the "15 year old girl" me.
I was feeling semi-confident, but now that I went to this thread, I'm reminded how high the standards are, and I'm back to square one :(
I can't help but think "if you saw me, would you think I was some dried up, non-fresh, mediocre woman?"
But that's ok, because I pass my boyfriend's standards. He loves me, and he immediately makes love to me when I go in his house. And knowing that I spend/spent my youth with a wonderful guy, instead of being some "idol" or e-fame cow or a slut, makes me glad. I hope he still keeps loving me for a very long time.
Holy shit, is this some kind of copypasta lmao
>>1929>ywn be a young bride to a lolicon
Why even live
this better be some next level copypaste or a troll because I despair if someone is this dumb to want to have "cute boys and girls" with a blatant pedo.
Alright, sounds like probable copypasta but I'll bite.
Anon, I wouldn't worry about your boyfriend being a pedo or lolicon just because he likes "middle school looking" anime characters and prefers small breasts. You have to remember that anime tends to exaggerate features, so elementary school students often look like toddlers and high school students often are either given "loli" bodies or va-va-voom bodies. Your boyfriend probably just likes average looking girls (middle school students tend to look more "average" in anime), and maybe you are just paranoid due to low self-esteem over your own appearance/aging. I mean, if you have been together for 5-ish years, you'd probably know by now if he were attracted to children. Liking cute adult girls isn't being a pedophile btw…he might just have an "older brother/younger sister complex" or something.
Obviously, if you think he's a pedo, then you really shouldn't have kids with him though.
i was really ugly up until the end of uni so I have a lack of connection with other women that prevents me from really wanting to have those girly experiences etc.
>male in his late 20's
>find out this place through half chan
>come here with an intent to troll
>stumble upon this thread
>actually find some of this advice helpful and motivational
Don't know what to say. Thank you I guess.
Pic unrelated(nice but bye)
I had to grow up pretty quickly. I've felt the same age for a decade… I find the physical aspect of aging frustrating, but I think the possibility that age will bring is exciting. I can say my life is improving the older I get. In regards to the physical, I've personally known a lot of pretty older ladies. I think a lot of people in the U.S. give up starting at 25+ for various reasons, and it puts a bad taste toward aging in people's mouths. It's important to always take care of yourself no matter what.
Just curious, what is your occupation? I'd like to work from home as well.
In my experience, most guys in their 20's and 30's that I've met, hate housewives. They find them too dependent and "lazy". Most people tell me you need 2 incomes to have a comfortable living at this day of age. I wish housewife-lifestyle was more acceptable.
I used to be horribly afraid of aging. Lifestyle and diet can only do so much, and I started getting grey hairs when I was about 23. My mom started getting them at that age, too, apparently it's genetic.
Oddly enough, nowadays I'm looking forward to getting older. I don't mind the wrinkles. In fact, when I see someone who has laugh lines, I kind of envy them because that's the hallmark of a life well lived–you've spent so much of it smiling that it's made a permanent indentation on your face. & I get excited when I think about the day that I'll be some weird old kook with seven cats, living by myself and terrifying the neighborhood's children every Halloween. I've met enough cool older people that I know that you don't lose your moxie as you get older.
at the moment, i'm probably cute enough that i could score a husband but i'm not really interested in any of the guys that i know. if it comes along, now or in a few decades, it'll be a pleasant surprise, but why search for a soulmate if you feel complete as a single person/hermit?
Ot asf but this post and the Victorian thing one would make great banners. Fuck it gets me every time I scroll down /feels/, especially because of this gif being bumped every now and then
I'm OP and still struggling with this a year later. Time is ticking away and I'm constantly comparing myself to older and younger women. Can I still get away with my style? Can I act the way I do? If I was 10 years younger, I'd be really awesome right now. But at my current age, it's just pathetic. I'm obsessed with cute women my age because they give me hope that I don't have to be a spinster just yet, but time keeps passing and I just get older and there's nothing I can do.
Anon, you're in your late 20's. How is that old? Wake up!!
It's old if you've been treated like a MPDG all your life and you're aging out of the stereotype that used to be force-fed to you as your only source of validation. Being a quirky, nerdy, awkward girl stops being cute when you're 30.
idk zooey is still getting away with it
Not that anon, but I see where you’re coming from. The MPDG thing is definitely not gonna work as you grow into your 30s if you’re relying on it for validation. I think that instead of worrying about aging, you should reframe that and think about it as a chance to mature and grow the core of your personality. Find what it is that you’re really passionate about and/or good at and pursue that. Late 20s is not too late. Achieve more accomplishments in life. It will be a better and more solid form of validation than you’d get from putting on a quirky and nerdy girl front.
I think this article might be interesting to you, if you haven’t read it already:https://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/2013/06/i-was-manic-pixie-dream-girl
What really spoke to me was this part:
“ It’s so much easier, if you have the option, to be a girl, not a person. It’s definitely easier to be a girl than it is to do the work of being a grown woman, especially when you know that grown women are far more fearful to the men whose approval seems so vital to your happiness. ”
But in the end, it’s being a grown woman that gets you more satisfaction in life. You get to build more genuine relationships, have better self-esteem, and you’ll be more happy at the end of the day.
This whole thread makes me feel so blessed for my elf "genetics".
Ever since you were old enough to dress yourself you fucking retards should have worn sunscreen on your face and long sleeves, jeans, and baseball caps in the blazing hot summer instead of calling people like me weird for doing so.
t. nearly 27-year-old who gets bitched at for being "underageb&" on /soc/ and recently mistaken for a 14-year-old playing hooky on the street.
I mean, I doubt anyone would take advice from someone proud of being mistaken for a teenager and attentionwhoring on /soc/
t.someone who is frequently mistaken for a kid and hates it
You're incredibly obnoxious. However, I have to agree with you about the sunscreen thing. I get shit on constantly for being so fastidious about sunscreen use/covering up, but it's done me straight wonders. I'm 25 and I'm at that age where some of my peers look like they're in their mid-30s or even 40… I'm often mistaken for high school/college-age and it's 99% due to my religious sunscreen use.
>>30787>nearly-27yo bragging about looking nearly-27
That's hilarious but so stupid. 27 year olds look like high schoolers, yall need to give yourselves a break. Plenty under 30 are still riddled in acne and don't even know how to dress themselves, and they're worried about aging lol
Get opinions from ladies who are like 50+ but look hot as hell. Skincare and selfcare in general will keep you looking extremely well for your age across the board.
You really trounced that 7 month old post, well done.
I’ll admit I’d be dealing better if I had my life anywhere near when it’s supposed to be for someone my age, I’m 25 but despite being academically well-qualified I’m pretty behind due to a bad job seeking situation where I live.
I can’t support myself so I basically live similarly to when I was a teen. I was just about to move into a new job and finally become a real adult when corona hit and took that job away, and now there’s even less jobs to apply for than before.
I’ve got married friends who are having babies, and I’m basically living a neet life. It would be more acceptable if I was younger.
As for my face/how old I look, I think I do look a bit younger than I am, because I was brought up to wear sunscreen every day, but if people mistake me for being younger they just mistake me for being like 21 instead of 25, no one thinks I’m a teenager skipping school or anything like that.
I do wish I was younger but mostly so I could still hope for a brighter future.
>>30809>due to my religious sunscreen use.
Kinda off-topic but you use it only on face or on whole body?
yeah i feel the same the way. i'm turning 23 at the end of the year and i'm not in a terrible spot but i expected so much more from myself. i think everyone's issues with aging in this thread can be broken down to
1) i dont want to physically age
2) i want more time, i want to believe that i still have more time to reach my goals or figure them out
hell, i first saw this thread 2 years ago and i still reread >>367
whenever i dwell too much on it.
At least we don't have to worry about are hair falling out. Men really think they each like wine.
i laugh at this shit like you wouldn't believe. the neckbeard tells us, "women hit the wall at 30", and he turns around balding at 24 looking like he just crawled out of a cave. moids are a blighted, cursed race for sure. disgusting goblins. oh, i hate men so much. they're just as revolting on the outside as they are on the inside.
nta but dedicated sunscreen user here. face and neck and any other exposed skin. if you're wearing sleeves and pants you don't have to put sunscreen on arms/legs obvs. make sure you put it on & reapply it and don't forget your hands. wear a hat too because sunscreen doesn't prevent all kinds of sun aging.
I wonder how much of the sunscreen meme is true. I'm 24, I don't use it at all but I still look younger than I am. Personally I think what's making poeple age horribly is normie life. Drinking often, getting no sleep, smoking, putting on tons of makeup every day, eating badly, etc. If you are not a party-everyday normie I don't think you'll need as much sunscreen, unless you spend lots of time in the sun.
Oh God. This is so sad. He looks like a Brazilian mutt barber.>>37858
Being a Koreaboo as a teenager unironically saved my skin. I have been using high spf BB creams and Korean sunscreens, masks, serums etc since I was 15, never went outside without sunscreen (to be fair I barely went outside in general because I was a hiki shut in for years but whatever)
I am 27 and still don’t have a single wrinkle or fine line. Thanks Korea.
Am I the only one who thinks he still looks cute?
It's time to become a wine aunt.
>>37847>the male model vs. the balding janitor
I think a lot of it is true. A lot of my classmates look like they’re in their 40s at 30. Buuuut like you said, a lot of it is drinking/smoking/partying. Hard to say.
>>30787>recently mistaken for a 14-year-old
Happens to me in my mid 20s too, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable for some reason
I am in my thirties and although I look young and don't feel like a grown up at all it bothers me recently. Maybe I should start browsing seniorchan if it exists.
im confussed, the older version is more attractive to me. the younger version looks like a 16yr old boy :S
He looks dirtier and balder. I don't like that. Chico is cute af shaved and with more hair.
Im 28 so it might be just an age difference prefrence, I know my younger self would think the younger version is more attactive
There is nothing wrong with dating younger men anon as long as they have a good work ethic you should also consider them out. It's dumb not to, you narrow your options a lot if you don't.
I want to be a sugar mama from now on.
Pic-related is so fucking relevant lmao
yooo same i actually laughed at that pic like that kid needs his first license and someone to help him pick a major, he's not dateable, just cute. Not that I find most guys attractive but what's he gonna do, tell me about memes while I look over my 401k? lol
Yeah, Koreaboos just like guys that look like tall 15 year olds honestly.
Dude you just outed yourself as a 15 year old
he looks like he started to mold and wilt lmfao. they only go downhill from like 20 most of the time
if you think he looks better in the second pic you are either delusional or a moid.
the older guy looks so much better
I went through this real hard around 21, and am still mildly going through this. It’s more because of me wasting my youth on being mentally ill as well as my current lack of success rather than my appearance. I comfort myself by knowing that my teenage years were the best I could make them and I was lucky not to grow up now as I’d be even more fucked up. >>37847
Moid lurkers really got their almonds activated by this one lmao
I'm 33 and started going to discos at 27, and ramped up the frequency of disco going to twice a month at 30. Then the pandemic happened and no more discos and parties.
So instead of being a shut-in by choice, now a shut-in by law, essentially.
I am by far the oldest woman in my friends group and start to feel uncomfortable about my ageing body. :|
How can I stop wasting my thoughts on this? It's annoying.
inb4 plastic surgery blah
Genuinely think he looks better on the right. He looks like Ben Barnes on the right but with short hair. His hair is doing him absolutely no favors on the right tho. Really shit haircut. Prefer the Ben Barnes looking facial features imo. A lot of why moids look so shit so young is that they seek to differentiate themselves from when they were younger bc they think it makes them more manly and like, their idea of high test looking, which is fug imo. They refuse to keep their hair longer and nicely styled. They start chopping off their hair into these same-y short hairstyles and growing beards, which usually looks disgusting.
I just think that there's two groups, those who value boyish good looks, and those that don't.
He looks better on the right because he looks happier and more comfortable and at ease.
He looks better on the left physically.
Boyish is for sure, he looks 13 in the above photo and like any child I'd see at the mall. Idk how any of you can say he looks better looking like a 13 yo you can find at the food court, than pic related.
>>57569>he looks 13 in the above photo
some of you are truly delusional, I hope you're just trying to be edgy contrarian
wtf would be edgy about saying he looks like a 13 yo here. multiple anons have already expressed sentiments to that efffect?
I'm close to 25 and while I'm mistaken for younger a lot, I can't help but feel older. Working years of retail has done a number on my body, I have awful aches and pains even though I've walked my dog at least once a day for years. And I'm still afraid despite being told I don't look old that I'm one day going to lose my baby face out of nowhere and no longer be seen as cute or desirable. That my immature mannerisms will be seen as retarded rather than cute once I've lost signs of my youth
Same here and I am much older than you.
And even if I'd like to agree with >>367
so bad I have to admit that coping with complex social structures plus living in this youth/beauty addicted society is a really hard job for me.
how does anyone find him attractive here? he looks like every other awkward southern european teen.
21 year old, how do I avoid regret when I am older?
I genuinely just go for "work and do whatever feels right in my free time". But then again, I rarely know what I really want to do with my free time so a lot of it ends up wasted.
I do have some regrets around my teenage years. I spent ages 15-19 dating mid-20 something manchildren (two pretty much back to back). I kinda feel like I wasted some of my youth on them. But overall I still had fun in high school and miss those days, even though I never did anything special.
Anyways, what are the things you'd tell your younger self to do?
I'd recommend taking on some responsibility of some sort. It structures your free time in a way that it becomes precious and is usually spent worthwhile. What responsibility means is up to you, could be a local volunteer program or perhaps doing your job to the actual best of your ability. Then you can have you free time and enjoy it too guilt free.
I don't get the point of hating aging. Like whats it going to do for you? You can spend your days regretting things and waste your time doing that. But won't you regret that as well?
I am 35 I am so fucking glad I'm not 20 anymore because my 20's sucked. So much anxiety. I was brainwashed to death.
I regret being brainwashed when I was young. It spilled over into my teens and my 20s and I wasted a lot of time believing so much patriarchal garbage. I thank god I have my mind and thats it. I'm glad I didn't get into the kind of stuff my friends did.. good god so many drugs. The ones that used to be KIND of bad, are no addicted to fentanyl and opiates and meth.
So many people who were "normal" are now just fucked over by some kind of drug or alchohol or kids.
I did not have kids, I did not abuse anything too much. I stayed out of the sun a ton. I feel like a million bucks now. It will only get better. I'm so so so glad I'm not brainwashed to hell anymore. I'm sososo glad I don't have kids. I thank god I don't have them because everyone I know that does hates their life or looks like they ought to hate it. I feel free because I have no anxiety anymore. I love making money and can't wait to be making more, investing it..doubling it.. tripling it.. Getting more and more squared away, and living in solitude with a garden, reptiles, cats, and making art. I hope someday I'm on a mountain though.
Most of the shit about aging comes from bottom of the barrel men anyway. So they shouldn't even be on your radar, they only want to drag you down so you feel as bad as them.
Women live longer and take care of ourselves better. Just focus on getting financial independence for yourself.
You will age no matter what and time will only get quicker as you do. You can't fight it, but you can fight how you perceive it. Just because you think you're too old for something, doesn't have to mean you shouldn't do it.
I'm with you. I'm 33 now and when I think back on my 20s I was just going along with so many things out of insecurity. It's added a whole new level of understanding to the whole "moids preferring younger women" thing because if I compare myself now to myself 10 years ago, I used to be so fucking insecure (not just from a point of low self-esteem but also just not being secure in my desires and choices) and give so much bullshit the benefit of the doubt. Now I see the same old shit and go nah thanks. Men want inexperienced women who they don't know what's good for them and I'm so past that, it improved my love life so much because contrary to common fears, my options haven't diminished at all, they've only gotten better. The rest of my life has only become more stable and relaxed. My friend group ranges from 24-40 and we get up to the same shit we always used to. You don't suddenly age out of fun activities.
go right on ahead if it makes you feels better. I've already been doing it my whole life.
32 here. I look almost exactly the same as I did at 18 (average don't crack I guess) and I've never felt pressured to change my hobbies and interests. Basically the last 14 years I've kept true to myself and nobody gives me any shit for it. I'm looking forward to becoming a venerable old hag. I like to joke about being old. I've got a few gray hairs that I hope turn into a pretty streak like Lily Munster had.
Most of the users in communities I visit are in my age range, so we're all lovely elder nerds together. If you need to feel young join some web 1.0 mainstays like Gaia Online.
Nobody asked for this update but these were my posts 4 years ago, it's so funny to find this thread bumped again.
The anon who said my situation was a nightmare was right. He had become so entitled and spoilt that he began dragging me down with him. I can't imagine that I ever defended him, he's a disgusting hypocrite of a man.
I dumped my ex the following year, after which he and his friends and family unleashed a string of frankly racist comments at myself and my family. I've a full time job now that pays well, a lovely boyfriend of two years who treats me wonderfully, and a bright future ahead after the pandemic ends. I'm living my best life despite supposedly being "post-wall". Hope this will be a sign for some ladies out there to never settle and never take anyone's shit. Just because you think this is as good as it gets doesn't mean you're right.
This is literally an illness of the society (idk if that translates well enough). There is much more to being an adult than people today understand.
My "ute stereotypically female experiences" were thinking boys want to have friendship with me while they only wanted to have sex or romantic relationship.
I was early twenties when I first saw this post and now I'll be 24 soon. The message makes a bit more sense to me now, but also really doesn’t. My emotions have become progressively more stable each year and I feel as if I'm just beginning to accept myself. I look like an adult now and am beginning a boring career, but overall life is just getting better. Heck, even the boring job gives me money to spend on my silly hobbies. As a teen I never had that.
I only regret being mentally unwell for so long since it made me miss out on great friendships. But better late than never.>>61248>elder nerds
The idea of becoming one keeps me comfy about aging. Nerds in their 30's and 40's are charming. Also based for staying true to themselves for their whole lives.
My mom was an elder nerd and it ruled, watching Stargate and playing Neopets together. Be the cool old lady in some girl's life.
I saw a Pinterest meme (im now banned from pinterest) that said something like 'oMg i don't want to age past 15! I want to have perfect skin and be cute! I hope to die before I'm 18!
And I'm 18 so that really made me sad. I'm kind of glad I'm banned from pinterest now. I would see 14 year old girls doing 'morning routine', where it's planned into an excel file, and then they drink turmeric lattes, apply retinols and anti aging creams, and achieve 30 things before 8:00, all raw and vegan!~
The emphasis on adolescence being the best in too many movies is only normie friendly, and when you're young you make mistakes, and then you can become a queen.
I have wasted high school wanting to die and being nervous too, I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I will grow at my own rate.
Men get to have a child complex, make mistakes, play videogames all day, be immature. I really wish self love upon all women to do what's best for them and their health. You won't look very different at 29 from 19 if you wear sun protection, and my mom is proof of that. Don't compare yourself to people, let yourself mess up and have fun, and you can still 'have fun'. >>367
Whenever this thread gets bumped and I reread this I instantly feel better about myself. This post is 100x better than therapy
Anon, if you’re still there, thank you.
I think they subconsciously know all men are pedos and simps for teenage girls. They enjoy feeling the power and sexual manipulation they have over men at that age. There’s an obsession with underage women and teen girls that is mainstream now in porn, on social media, everywhere.