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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 40114

why do i hate my own gender so much
pic unrelated, it isn't jealousy..because I know I am beautiful, but so are like a million others girls and anyones beauty doesn't mean lack of the others.
I am super fem..so why do girls just..piss me off. I want to like women more, have more female friends. But it's just so hard.
And this isn't 'not like other girls', cuz again im super girly nd shit…

Anonymous 40116

Yes men have always been rlly nice to me..like I don't even have to try, I take them for granted. But I don't want to be friends with them. I want to want to be friends with women instead. Because I know these men only like me cuz im cute so it's meaningless.
And yes, girls never like me as much..and I always have to approach them first, which is okay but i always end up over compensating cuz it never goes well.

Anonymous 40117

sounds like you're not pleasant to talk to or interesting in the slightest because you've always got carried by your looks, leading you to not develop any real social skills

Anonymous 40118

t. Becky
t. Stacy

OP there’s a difference between being nice and simping, and it sounds like you can’t tell the difference because you’ve had simps for your whole life. How does one of your typical conversations with other women usually go?

Anonymous 40119

I never thought of it that way, but you're right.
So usually, if I wanna try and make a female friend I'll compliment her on something, and if she still doesn't seem at ease, (which is usually what happens..maybe I expect too much too fast?) I'll put myself down..like 'oh could u help me with this, i suck at this omg ur so smart i wish i was like u'..but this over and over,
Because even in friendships, I'll always hav to self depreciate and put me down to make other ppl feel nice..towards me. My friends would always bring up how I look, my body or outfits or how I eat etc and it's almost customary for me to put myself down at that point, cuz if I don't, they get real passive. Or bitch about me, even tho I don't even do anything lol I'm like so careful.
I'm always sort of the 'beta'/dependant in most female relationships..if I manage to make a friend. And I can never have it my way, without being seen as a controlling bitch.

Maybe compromise feels like a lot to me, since I'm not used to having female friends and guys just always put u on a pedestal..(probz cuz they wanna fuck or date or whatever), so I subconsciously do the same and hate it. But to be fair, they already usually don't like me to begin with.

I'm even afraid in typing this out lolllll but i'm just trynna b honest..I wanna learn how to be taken seriously by other women, as an equal.

Anonymous 40122

>leading you to not develop any real social skills

Classic uggo cope. Beautiful people are generally more pleasant than ugly ones because they don't carry their self-loathing into every conversation.

Anonymous 40123

fashion, depth psychology, tarot, pilates and baking.
And anime, but now I watch it more occasionally and usually girly sol ones.

Anonymous 40124

t. Stacy who believes that she's genuinely interesting or pleasant because people constantly brown nose her

Anonymous 40125

Alright, so speaking as someone who also self deprecates to come off as more likable, there’s different ways to do this.

One is the way you’re doing, which is extremely direct and imo can feel off putting. If you’re a really pretty girl and you constantly say things like “ugh I’m dumb / fat / ugly” literally no one is going to believe you and they see through your act. That might make them like you even less because now you come off as dishonest.

The other way to self deprecate, which is what I do when I want to appear more human and down to earth, is to just BE more uncouth and informal and let their assumptions of me do the self deprecating. Like instead of just saying I suck at something, sort of pretend to fuck up and say some dumb memey shit like “ay bruh what the fuck am I doing can you help me”. The fact that it looks like you fucked up plus losing any social credibility from speaking like a 15 year old boy makes it seem to them like you have no idea what you’re doing, both with the task at hand and socially. Then in their heads it’s like “oh okay this girl is retarded but nice, I can take advantage of that / outsmart her / she’s not better than me”

Anonymous 40126

Also I know I made this sound like some gay power struggle but it really does work if you think the main thing holding you back from friendships is that other girls perceive you as superior and dislike you because of that.

And if you really want proof this works, look at media examples like Jennifer Lawrence who built their public personalities by coming off as “just like us”

Anonymous 40127

okay that actually makes a lot of sense

Anonymous 40129

okay you're right about this too..my one female friend who is actually a truly kind person bonded with my over anime back in high school

Anonymous 40130

Reads more like a self-hating femcel to me.

Anonymous 40132

i used to have a friend who was exactly like you, and i do have to admit it was kind of uncomfortable to be around her because it was pretty obvious she was a lot more interested in male attention than other female's, and would low key act disinterested in you if she viewed you as "competition." (i still liked her though because she was pretty smart and a good conversationalist otherwise.)

she had a lot of male brothers growing up, so maybe the reason why you feel this way was because you were more exposed to male perspectives than other women's?

were you closer to your dad than your mom growing up?

Anonymous 40133

Op sounds like a troll to me :)

Anonymous 40134

Okay but I don't view women as competition and have 0 siblings..I am equally as close to both my parents, but was extremely spoilt by them and I think one of the anons got it right.

'there’s a difference between being nice and simping, and it sounds like you can’t tell the difference because you’ve had simps for your whole life. ;

That rlly made me reflect on how I interact with women..rlly put myself down like a simp and I guess I need to think of something else.>>40132

Anonymous 40135

Self-expression is truly something people need to take care of.

Anonymous 40136

I am trying VERY hard to take the anon seriously but everything they wrote so far sounds like some outsider/alien/perhaps even incel's understanding of womanhood…& the retard who keeps replying with ~female competition~ and outdated evolutionary psych bullshit sure ain't helping…I hope I'm wrong but frankly this thread reads like a pathetic moid replying to himself with other ppl occasionally weighting in LOL

Anonymous 40137

I agree. It's probably another bait thread. Like almost every thread here on /b/.

Anonymous 40138

women hate me even thru the internet..this is actually super funny.

Anonymous 40139


Hahaha, we're going full schizo here! GOOD
I percieve some weird posts in threads all the time too.

Anonymous 40140

queen bee.jpg


nah, i know girls irl who think the same way. op just needs some self-awareness instilled in her.

Anonymous 40141


Same, anon

Like, I don't wanna say OP is for sure a larper, but god damn if this doesn't reek of something a larper would say if they were one

Anonymous 40148

Look, if you're really female: We're not hating you. Due to actual male trolls on Crystal Cafe, some of us are just overly suspicious of anyone who sounds like they could be a male pretending to be a girl "for the lulz".

Anonymous 40201

>'oh could u help me with this, i suck at this omg ur so smart i wish i was like u'

That kind of stuff only works on men. Even if women believe you (unlikely), repeatedly asking them for help is just going to annoy them. Maybe you should stop posturing and be genuine instead.

Anonymous 40228

join some witch larp groups, they seem pretty chill depending on how many think they're literal witches

Anonymous 40260

Not the anon you replied to, but hell yes, witches! Instagram wiccans no pleaze.

Anonymous 41344


imma be honest right now and say i am 100% relating to OP and want more insight too. i wouldn't say i'm a 10/10, prob a 6/10, but i still find a consistent occurance that i find out a girl "hates" me but i wont even know what she looks like or have talked to her. i have had some girl friendships for sure, it's just much more rare. i will end up talking/being friends with a guy over a videogame more often than a girl over anything at all. i just dont get it, especially because i will feel burned by a potential female friend (like i thought we were tight?) but i'll find out she said some shit or will be mean to my face. i have a hard time making friends In General because of bad attachment issues, but dang. i genuinely thought my mid 20's would be different (people male & female would develop mentally/emotionally)
but idk. women seem to turn on you so quick instead of talking to me about issues. like there are so many misunderstandings from assumptions.

i try to be genuine but it never feels like i get genuinety back. i will have hung out with them, and find out i was being lied to or deceived. /rant

tl:dr just want girl friend group but feel like the girls i meet are weirdly deceptive :(

Anonymous 41352

Being pretty hurts, just watch the movie Malena :/ and you'd understand…

Anonymous 41356

maybe youre autistic? i feel that women have much more intuition when it comes to detecting betas vs chads (personality wise) cos even tho im kinda attractive too my persnoality just repels females since im so weird and men out up with me cos they wanna fug lol

Anonymous 41401


This is the reason why I resonate with OP's feelings. I'm thin, beautiful, and have good proportions. My interactions with both sexes are surged primarily by my appearance, even with those who have common interests. It's lonely and vapid. I cry so much at night, begging to be seen as a human being. I get so jealous of those who are able to form solid bonds. Sometimes I wish I could just not care and surrender to it, but I have that piece of hope in me that people will see me for who I am.

Anonymous 41406

not the same anon but this is a good idea. are there any other ways like this you can think of? i don't want to cut my hair. maybe if i make a bunch of fake moles on my face?
i thought about being greasy but that just uncomfortable. i already wear big ugly layers of clothes.

Anonymous 41423


LOL fck no and fck you :D Why should we beautiful ladies surrender our beauty just to fit in with hateful women? We can't help our beauty! Sure we can lower our standards and our looks to have vapid women into our lives, that doesn't change the fact they hate us albeit in our ugly state. They will never see you genuinely as one of them, they will have you as a pet and keep you in line to never past their highest beauty which isn't hard to surpass lol.

Sooner or later they will bite back to destroy you. Really just don't please them, move on. Be yourself and you will find other (pretty) sisters to form bonds with. Maybe that will never happen but it's better than being treated like garbage throughout the friendship and having a huge messy fall out with nasty chicks.

So my last question is to those: Are you willing to give up your confidence and happiness to please strangers just to fit in?

Anonymous 41426

yes im so lonely

Anonymous 41429

You just need to find the right kind of semi-alcoholic friend. I had a really good one who saw past everything and somehow connected with me, for me. But she died in a car crash a few years ago and here I am drunk on crystal cafe again thinking abt her. fuck

You'll find a real friend just keep putting yourself out there…

Anonymous 41438

lets be friends? :3

Anonymous 41441

At least you can be desired and envied for your beauty. Some of us are ugly and completely alone.

Anonymous 41442

I struggle to have common ground and keeping in contact with other women.

Anonymous 41455

Honestly same. Feels like most girl groups try to keep things forcefully peaceful even when they obviously don't like each other. How can that feel good?

Anonymous 41456

Women who act like you describe are usually straight and rely on male attention to maintain their whole self-worth and confidence. They hate beautiful women because they take away the male attention they need. It doesn't cross their minds to rethink their mentality and stop letting men define their worth. Instead, they take out their insecurities on their prettier friends.

Ergo, just don't befriend that type of straightie if you're a beautiful woman or just hate "female competition".

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