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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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creepy coworker Anonymous 41351

I work in a male dominated job, unfortunately they are very immature.
I'm short and shy which makes me an easy target. There is an older man, he is old enough to be my dad, who seems to be really interested in me for sick mental pleasures. I don't believe he is into me physically just the psychological aspect.

I'm easily rattled, I can give others a reaction easily. Which sucks. I'm still working on that. I'm improving though :) so I'm proud of myself for that. I feel a bit more stronger and confident on controlling my reactions. It's hard trying still, in such a toxic environment. So I'm pretty sure he likes that about me. Thing is, I have a "crush" on him which makes it worse. And everyone at work knows that cause word got out (yea I was stupid to confide in someone).

AND my department is also part of this. Trying to make me think about him, saying his name when I'm around. I try to avoid him, such as eating lunch later and taking my breaks later. Avoiding eye contact, acting emotionless. He used to sit right in front of me in the break room in my first few months of working there, we talked eventually there wasn't much to talk about since he's a really uninteresting boring person and doesn't engage much in what I'd say. So he started to sit right behind me, on my right side. So pretty much close behind… Which is really creepy for my creepiness level.

When I used to talk to him, most of the time it would be confusing. Or just one sided. Either he won't respond much and just react or he'd be the one talking and trying to get a reaction out of me. He would talk about something then eventually something random and purposely say something off guard and I would be like "what???" then just smile at me. Just confusing, like he has a lot on his mind and needs to spill it all out at once. Or I would talk about anything and he'd make an inflated/random answer to something simple. Like he's weird and crazy. He is well liked by everyone else so I guess popular. Charming, funny. Ugh I hate it. I hate that I like him and that I'm really f*cking frustrated at him and myself for that!

Worst part is that he has a kid! AND A WIFE. And he is doing this! I have a boyfriend!
Recently he flicked part of my hair while I was taking my break. He passed by behind me to his creepy viewing spot. So I turned around and said in the most valley girl assertive tone "I have a boyfriend, don't touch me!" Then he proceeded to blame the wind on that. I really want to punch his face with a metal pole. Next time I want to humiliate him in front of everyone else, just like he is doing to me. I don't believe I'm stooping to his level because I'm confronting him albeit in a mean way idc. I don't want to report to HR unless its dire necessary. I want to take this on my own till then. So girls, what is a way to break down a man with a sense of inflated ego?

Anonymous 41357


Anonymous 41358


Anonymous 41359


Anonymous 41382

I've had this issue before. Being interested in someone you don't think you should pursue due to a relationship, etc. Getting creepy vibes. In my case, I went on a work trip, and this person said they were handing me beer, but really it was spiked with whiskey. I like drinking, but the dishonesty rubbed me the wrong way. Your situation is that you're kind of crushing on this person, which I totally get as well, I actually wanted to have sex with this person, but I was in a committed relationship and wanted them to respect that.

What I ended up doing was having a direct talk with them, saying I think you're interested in me, but I'm in a committed monogamous relationship and don't want to pursue this further. Nothing happened from then on.

In your case, I would talk to HR. Prepare for there to be a fallout, because men can get real sour about this stuff, but what you're describing sounds like predatory sexual harassment; whether you are interested in this person or not, you are being made uncomfortable at work by this person's presence, and his behavior sounds extremely inappropriate and deliberate.

TL;DR - talk to HR

Anonymous 41509

Wow that's literally a date rape move. I'm actually afraid of contacting HR because I feel like they won't take my side. That's why I want to stand up on my own.

Anonymous 41755

I have been successfully ignoring him to the point he sat at his OLD SEAT today at lunch. Prior to that he changed area of work in my general areas which he isn't a regular worker at. Like I said, my job is full of everyone being friends with everyone. I'm talking "like a family" bullcrap. WTF. Is he really that freaking desperate for any kind of reaction/attention???? It was so weird and CREEPY LIKE UGH.

Next time I'mma eat outside. The one reaction I can't let him see out of me is being giggly and smiley. He knows I like him and he knows he can make me blush. So I try my best to think negative and look mad. It's so stupid, I know. I really can't let him make me blush! Not only will that tell him that I don't enjoy my boyfriend but that I like him more! UGH. This is like border line mental harassment and I'm so done. I have told my boyfriend about the previous incident and if I see him in public, like a grocery store, I will point him out to my bf. Also I tried to gross him out during lunch today by eating chicken bone marrow. You know like a savage, I don't mind eating the bone and cartilage. I don't think he flinched, I'm slightly scared.

Anonymous 41756

I can't tell if you're a moid pretending to be a retarded girl or just a retarded girl and that scares me.

Anonymous 41757

not the op but i'm a retarded girl #retardrepresent

Anonymous 41808

take him to one side and ask that he kindly stop and he is making you uncomfortable.
if he doesn't stop, go to HR.
you are working yourself up, just relax.

Anonymous 41878

:)I like that advice, alright I'll try :D
thank you :)

Anonymous 41889


i really want to punch anon for how lowly she judged our bs detectors. youre not fooling anyone with youe retarded poorly written fan fic fuck off kindly

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