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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 42270

How do I escape the sneaking feeling that my boyfriend doesn't really care about me and wouldn't care about me if I was less physically endowed?

How do I screen men who just want to use me for sex? I want love but I'm terrified of being pump and dumped and discarded.

I'm new to dating so this feels like a minefield and like I will just be used no matter what I do.

Anonymous 42335

This, just look at their phone/internet history, if they get defensive something is up.

Also if you put out too early their dumb lizard brain interprets that as not needing to put commitment to get what they want, you literally have to physiologically train them to commit lol.

And make sure before getting in a relationship to talk about their porn use, porn 10000% fucks with their head/libido in extremely unhealthy ways. If they defend in the slightest their need to watch girls being degraded then that says it all about their expectations of you.

While you're at it, stalk their social media to see if they orbit beautiful women like the kind of simps that leave messages saying how hot they are on their posts, they might not stop if they're with you.

I read too much shit over at r/loveafterporn, god those poor women, my heart weeps for this generation being raised on tiktok/onlyfans/pornhub.

Anonymous 42337

also unrelated but I really like this kind of drawing style, brightens my day just looking at it.

Anonymous 42366

This sounds like a plus to be honest, I suppose there's checking what kind of internet communities they are part of

Anonymous 42367

You will be used no matter what you do. Your goal is to find someone else that is mutually useful to you as well for the traits you want out of a mate. What do you think a relationship is other than two people using each other?

Anonymous 42369

Two people idolizing (or "simping" for) each other.

Anonymous 42374

I need this in my life

Anonymous 42385

Then find a simp.

Anonymous 42389

You don't think simps aren't using those they simp for? Just because you're getting paid doesn't mean you're not being treated like an object.

Anonymous 42404

I didn't mean "simp" like that. I meant having an innocent crush on someone.
So then you have two people who crush on each other and do things for each other out of their own initiative.

Anonymous 42431

Have you ever felt anyone actually crush on you before? It's easy to want something you've never had.

Anonymous 42432

it's a mutual crush, not unrequited.

Anonymous 42443

No, I mean if anyone's ever crushed on you before.

Anonymous 42449

>So then you have two people who crush on each other and do things for each other out of their own initiative.
Previously mentioned Simps do thing on their own as well.

Anonymous 42888

Easiest way to screen is refusing sex until marriage hun

Anonymous 42918

are you fucking serious? don't spread your legs on the first date, you fucking slut.

Anonymous 42925

Probably the sanest answer here.
Relationships need to be mutualistic, you need to screen for a willingness to invest energy, resources and cooperate.
You can be sure that if you are incapable of these things, nothing will save you.

Anonymous 42963

This, why do men think their opinions are valued or special here? I can go anywhere else on the internet to get male opinions.

Anonymous 42967

You could start by filtering out sub-groups. So far the bad ones seem to be e-Christians, woke men, whatever version of PUAs exist now, and wiggers of any kind. You should try to look for something more akin to a reasonable sexism, like men are more culpable than women in any kind of violent escalation, but women can't be assholes and expect to always get away with it.

One good question to ask yourself, are both of you generally in this relationship cultivating something deeper and more long lasting.

Anonymous 42972

you can't because its true

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