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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Shitty friends Anonymous 44627

How do you deal with them? Do you just cut them off despite a long history? Been misled by someone you thought you could trust?

Got any ridiculous stories?

Looking for advice on how to deal with shitty people who think they do nothing wrong (besides ignoring them)

Anonymous 44633

I cut them out. For some people it bugs me for years and I regret not talking to them anymore, and other people I literally forget them the next week and realize a year later how little I thought of them. Surprisingly some of the longer friendships ended that second way, I think it depends on if you can sense the relationship deteriorating or not

Anonymous 44640

Block them and don’t look back. Shitty people always come around in circles. They think they can treat you badly and then just come back all friendly when they want something. Just cut them out of your life and then years later post anonymously under their wedding pictures that they look fat.

Anonymous 44642

I always try to hold off doing anything to see if the friendship is salvageable, but eventually I just reach my limit of how much I can tolerate them and end up blocking them on everything. When it reaches that point I'm usually so disconnected from them that I don't really feel bad or anything.

Anonymous 44643

Well as long as we seem to only want the hard way out rather than deal with it ourselves: You self harm (in secrecy) as they bug you in order to counter the convoluted pain they put you through until they eventually get tired of you and move on to someone else that'll give them a taste of their own, whether they accept it or deny the fact it takes a bully to know a bully.

Anonymous 44650

i’ve cut off ppl such as exes and had no issues with it. I think with “best friends” it’s harder for me, considering the history involved. Would prefer #2 in all scenarios

Anonymous 44651

kek wedding

this is how i do things but rn i’m
more confused about how friendships work more than anything after therapy. Like how do people friend idgi

sounds like the karma train!

Anonymous 44653

Forgot to add, DO NOT send them a long detailed message telling them what they did wrong and how they hurt you etc. They know this and don't care. They have to want to change themselves, you can't force them.

Anonymous 44655


Totally agree, they are aware. Selfish people.

Anonymous 44656

I used to find it so hard to cut toxic friends from my life because I had so few friends to begin with, and didn't want to end up alone.
Then one of my 'friends' tried to fuck my bf, and he turned her down and told me immediately. I tore into her and then blocked her on everything, and got many of my friends to do the same.
Suddenly, now that the floodgates are opened, I don't have problems cutting toxic bitches out of my life. I have a few good friends and my bf, that's all I really need.

Anonymous 45025

Its hard to cut people off that you genuinely were friends with (at one point or another). After dealing with some “friends” who introduced absolute chaos and nearly ended my stable relationship of 5+ yrs, it took a lot of strength, and willpower to cut them off. Really, spent many nights stressed, some nights crying, but its all worth the growth as time goes on. Systematically block, do NOT respond to messages, and completely ignore them(out of sight out of mind sorta thing as best as you can). Once someone truly crosses the boundary of absolute toxicity, you have to protect yourself/your relationship, and tbh know your worth. Don’t stay associated to truly toxic people, that’s torturous. My bf and I just said the other day how happy we both felt after not associating w/ said toxic people for a couple months now. It really does no good to keep people around who just couldn’t give a shit or don’t care to.

Anonymous 45030

I just never talk to anyone I don't want to talk to. If the friend becomes "toxic", then I disengage.

Anonymous 45158

Cut off a friend of 15 years. She became more and more toxic and negative the more I got my life on track. Feels good/No regrets.

Best way to heal and deal with breaking off of shitty friends is literally the hit the gym/delet facebook adage. Exercise is healthy and there is no feeling quite like running into them with your life in order, body in shape, career on track, saying hi, and being too busy to think about them again. Or if you never run into them again, good for you.

Truth. They don't improve, and if they do, they can reach out first, not you.

Anonymous 45172

I had an online friend I made thought it would have worked out, it didn't. I dont want to use the word toxic because it is used so blatantly. She was a good person i know deep down, my gut tells me she hid things from me, I hope she gets better though.
I ghosted her and a group though for personal reasons, I think she was sad, worried most of all pissed and I finally deleted her and it was best for both of our parts.
The trust had been broken long ago, always go with your gut.

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