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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Best advice for getting yourself unstuck? Anonymous 51421

>works 40 hrs a week at a shitty job only making $10 an hour
>can't afford a car. only recently got permit & since i'm under 21 I have to wait til june to be able to drive legally anyways
>lives with mom

I know it's becoming more common (at least I assume) to stay at home longer than just leaving the nest at 18, but as more and more time progresses I feel like I'm stuck and can't ever leave. I barely make enough for the rent my mom makes me pay, plus the internet & other bills. Just feels like anytime I catch up I'm right back where I started the next month. Idk this is turning into more of a vent post than an advice post, but if you're in a similar situation or have gotten out of one I'd love to hear how you did it.

Anonymous 51422

You are stuck. There's no way out except by deceit, crime, or gambling. I recommend gambling.

Anonymous 51424

Idk. How much does your mum earn? Is she making you split rent 50/50? What's your job, and could there be room for a raise if you improve? What skills do you have? What skills would you be willing to learn?

America sounds pretty shit, I'm sorry.

Anonymous 51429

I've been stuck a few times in life. I've always found it best to save as much as you can (if you have to lie to your parents about your income to be able to save an extra $1 an hour then do it), or even take out a loan if you have to just to move to a better place with more opportunities. Like if you can't do anything where you are bc the transport is shit and your job sucks, it may be better taking out a loan and moving somewhere better so you can have a happier life. It's also good to think about what you want in a few years so you can make changes that slowly favour what you want. But being stuck is unfortunately part of life sometimes and that's alright. You won't be stuck forever. Everytime I've been stuck I have tried to focus on at least bettering yourself. If you can't change things around you you'll always be able to change yourself for the better. This is all over the place but good luck anon~

Anonymous 51431

You could get a loan and seek higher education to get a better paying job.

Anonymous 51437

making an institutional deal with the devil huh

Anonymous 51472

ok enjoy being poor then

Anonymous 51474


I think going into debt is generally a bad idea but there are some trade schools that take < 2 years and lead to some decent jobs that you could get into to immediately start paying off the debt.

Anonymous 51476


Honestly, this would have been me if I didn't have a husband in the military with a rich family.

Anonymous 51479


>twenty-two this year
>still live with parents
>in uni
>no job
>still have like three…four semesters of uni left
>can't drive (fear of road)
at least you're not me, op. i feel like such a loser and have gotten into stocks and crypto in hopes of making some bank (in total i've only made about $500 dollars, but i guess this is good since i started with $50 back in like november)

Anonymous 51481

this… Why are people so fucking allergic to trade jobs? It's incredibly cheap, and you could afford it. You wouldn't have to go into debt to get a higher paying job.

Don't listen to this debt slave >>51472 >>51431

Anonymous 51516

don't trade jobs come with a high chance of injury? e.g. getting electrocuted while working with wires, going blind at an early age when you weld, etc.

Anonymous 51544

The likelihood strikes me as low and besides, even if it was moderate to high, I'd take an injury over thousands of dollars of debt. There are people who don't pay that shit off 'til their 50s.

If chance of injury is that frightening then do a safer trade. You could become a locksmith for example, very safe.

Anonymous 51550

how are you going to pay for trade school without first getting a loan? idiota

Anonymous 51557

Anon… Trade school for becoming a locksmith (as an example) costs less than 3k. Total. That is the maximum.

Cost of going to college is 40k+, and that is the lowest.

You telling me you can't save up 3k to go to trade school?

Anonymous 51558

you are a braintard

Anonymous 51560

>Cost of going to college is 40k+, and that is the lowest.
I pity the Americans, I really do.

Anonymous 51562

Personally I tried a trade (maritime sector) and I think the reason a lot of women especially are allergic to it is that a lot of the time your coworkers are going to treat you like shit when it's male dominated and the job involves doing physical things. The two other girls in my classes, 1 was the type who grew up around a lot of men so she did well but the other one and me couldn't adapt well. It's discouraging to so clearly see that you aren't wanted and hear shit being talked about you. If you are super thick-skinned then sure it's fine but I don't think the average person could stand it.
I ended up studying computer science instead and haven't had any awful experiences like I did in when I was studying a trade. Makes a world of difference if 20% of your coworkers are female vs 2%.

Anonymous 51569

if you’re on minimum wage, factor in the cost of living and rent and the fact that less of your time will be spent working while you are in school, yes. most people at that age would benefit from taking a loan rather than continuing to work for 8 bucks an hr living in their moms basement to pay for school.

Anonymous 51580

What the hell? If you live in your mother's basement you should be able to save a shit ton.

I pity people who fucked up their lives somehow in their 20s to end up living paycheck to paycheck, but anon in the OP has yet to do that and could easily avoid debt.

Anonymous 51631

Anon, I think you're doing fine. Where in the world are you located? I think for most Western countries you are right around where you should be life-wise. Regarding money, would a budget help? Do you think you have any spending you can reduce or cut out to afford you some leeway to get more education or a certification of some kind?

Is this bait? If so, good job you've upset me enough to respond. You're doing beyond fine in life, and if you think you are stuck now you do not have nearly enough resistance built to go through adulthood.

If you want some advice, I'd say that if you have no job and you'd rather make money with cryptos and trading, make sure you're putting in the appropriate amount of time and research. There is a reason most ppl have jobs over using stocks etc, and that is because money comes in reliably and constantly, affords you health insurance (depending on where you live), and it is comparatively low risk. I do not know you but most people do not know nearly enough about trading for it be more profitable/sensical than to just seek employment.

Anonymous 51663

>my parents provide for me while i pursue higher education, i have arguably the most desirable lifestyle for a 22yo and i still whine about it

Anonymous 51672


it's not bait, it's just that most people from my year are either married and having kids or graduating early, and can drive, and a few actually have their own homes (either renting with partners or friends) and aren't mooching off their parents. i feel VERY behind and more than a little pathetic

and don't worry: i'm not investing any more than i'm willing to lose. not expecting this shit to replace an actual job either (that's why i'm in uni), it's more or less just lunch/game money

Anonymous 51675

I guess I understand how you feel. The other anon saying you have a highly desirable lifestyle isn't being too understanding, but she's probably pointed out where some of your grievances are coming from. You have a good life, a great life, but it doesn't feel like it. It's like you had every opportunity, why aren't you something more? You will be, you just need to keep the end picture in mind. You started this journey with an image of yourself all grown up, with a degree and broadened horizons. You're probably burnt out, you've forgotten what that image looks like. Try capture it again.

Also, you have to realise those people rushing ahead with partners and kids and whatever… They're following a script more than half the time. I wonder if those people ever stop and make sure they're doing what THEY want, not just what they think other people value. Externalities won't make you happy, but you need to learn it the hard way.

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