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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Parents have a favorite child and it's not me Anonymous 52892

I think parents overall tend to like their older child better than the younger one overall, and some of them also seem to prefere the male son too.

I'm both the female and the younger child here, and I always felt rejected by my parents. It doesn't help that he's indeed smarter than me and etc.
It's not like they've never sided with me or whatever, but I always felt that they gave more to him than to me. Now, that he's in his 30's and I'm almost there it's not that bad but I still know that when I visit them they would rather to see the face of my brother instead of mine. Does anyone feel the same?

Anonymous 52896

>>52892
I sort of relate. My mother definitely favours my older sister but my dad has never seemed very emotionally attached to either of us.

I'm actually the smarter one so I don't think that always makes a difference. My mum isn't very smart so I think maybe she relates to my sister more, as well as having already formed a bond with her before I was born (there is a big age gap between us). My sister is also more chatty and my mum prefers chatty people. My mum also loves talking about herself too though I'm the only one that will call her out when she makes absurd stuff up. I guess it depends what your parents value.

Anyway, I don't visit or talk to them anymore while my sister practically still lives with them at 40. My mum flat out ignored me last time (back from another continent for the first time in a few years) and only exchanged pleasantries the night before I left because my sister wanted it.

One thing I see a lot in the threads about situations like yours OP, is that when the parents get older, they expect the child that they treated the worst to look after them while the golden child has to do nothing. Yet they will still go on about how great the golden child is. Don't fall into the trap and think that looking after them will finally make they love you at least equally, it doesn't work.

Anonymous 53031

Elder children and single children are, by quality, almost always the "best" as far as a meta perspective. Parents, whether they like to or not, have an inbuilt biological function to appreciate success and potential.

Go look at how many younger siblings were astronauts. Something completely random and unbiased, and the vast majority were first borns or single children.

Anonymous 53039

>>53031
Anon-chan, you must be mistaking something. Elder children are usually left off as nannys for the youngest one, or end up being neglected, watching the youngest one being their number 1.

Anonymous 53042

My parents hate all my siblings and i and their “favourite” is actually a rotation because my parents have mental issues and are unstable. I don’t care if I’m not the favourite because I hate them regardless.

Anonymous 53052

I don't know. I'm the youngest of three girls and I got coddled HARD. My sisters always tease me for it but I was always the favorite by virtue of not being as loud and outgoing as the older two, and it shows because I'm a NEET and they aren't.

Anonymous 53054

>>53039
>Elder children are usually left off as nannys for the youngest one
This was me. I don't think being the favorite child has that much to do with the order you were born. The way I was treated was comically horrific compared to my sister, who I was also forced to be responsible for.
I get that OP is looking for an explanation but I just don't think that's some kind of rule. Some parents are just shit.

Anonymous 54113

>>52896
>when the parents get older, they expect the child that they treated the worst to look after them while the golden child has to do nothing
Kek, that happened to my mom.
Her parents can't stop taking about How her sisters are good at cooking and sewing and how much money her brother earn, but she's the one that take care of them.

I the overall pattern is: older sibling>youngest sibling>irrelevant rejected rest.

Anonymous 54134

>>53039
>Go look at how many younger siblings were astronauts. Something completely random and unbiased, and the vast majority were first borns or single children.

A quick Google research gives me the following info about older siblings:
>taller
>higher IQ
>earn more
>live longer
Fuck.

Anonymous 54760

1600952058031.jpg

>>52892
When I was 8 I told my mom that I was interested in dums and want to take classes.
When my older sister turned 12 she got the drums and the classes.
I got a bongo drum.
When she was 18 she told my mother her cooking skills were upper garbage and that she want to move out, which she did with the help of our parents.
When she went to college, she didn't made enough to survive so our parents send her $100 every month so she could pay rent.
5 years ago our parents gave her $20000 to pay some of her debt back, she paid $10000 in debt and the rest she spend on a car and vacations to japan and other countries.
She also came out as lesbian which my parents didn't liked at all, as far as considering disowning her.
But no matter what they somewhat stick to her.
TL;DR you can't choose your parents nor your siblings, make the best out of life

Anonymous 54817

>>54134
I am
>Middle child
>Tallest (meaningless attribute)
>Highest grades in school, also the most educated
>Got a bf much later in life than other two siblings (but it's a stable relationship and he preserved the flower of his youth so it's all the same to me)
>Earn the most (except I don't care about money and I don't think it's a measure of success)
>Healthiest (actively work out and eat healthy foods). I don't think it matters how long you live, so long as you live well. We can only ever live in the present, to hoard life is as pointless as hoarding wealth, you can't use all your life at once anymore than you can spend and use all your wealth/possessions at once.

For a long time I was the black sheep but I overcame it all by just not giving a stuff

Anonymous 54825

I'm the 2nd child of four and my youngest sister was allowed to get away with murder compared to me because my parents chilled out as they grew older. She could throw house parties, smoke and drink and get a slap on the wrist whereas I would have been punished quite severely, I'd say she's the favourite in our family overall. My older brother is much more intelligent than me and earning about 3x as much so I'm not bitter about them preferring him because it's deserved (and tbh it isn't a huge difference).



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