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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Happy Thread Anonymous 53982

There's no recent thread that's all about positivity and I bet many would benefit from sharing and reading about happy stuff so I'm gonna start one. Feel free to share anything from your life that is currently making you happy!

Anonymous 53983

Now that the pandemic stuff is slowly coming back to normal, I've been able to go out more. I really missed being outside, but more than that, I kinda feel like the time being locked in actually helped me come to terms with being outside in general.

I used to get super nervous cuz I was raised by a super anti-male mom, and being stared at by men, it kinda made me super paranoid and anxious. Instead, now I'm kinda happy that people notice me, it makes me feel like I "exist" again. Also, I kinda think that, as long as people aren't looking at me like I'm a freak, and they aren't getting in my way, I can just enjoy it. Like, if I'm happy with people acknowledging me for the first time in months, and as long as seeing other people makes other people happy, then I don't see what's so terrible about it. Still get scared sometimes but I now see that it has more to do with my fears of men than people being evil or judgmental, so it's all cool!

Anonymous 53984

Not feeling like much is positive in my life right now, but it feels pretty important to try and help people find and cultivate positivity in their lives, so I'm gonna bump this thread.

Anonymous 53985

>raised by a super anti-male mom
What was that like?
Any experience stand out,?
Do you still keep in touch?

Anonymous 53986

I hope things improve for you, girl, srsly!

My mom divorced my dad when me and my sis were still just teens. She kinda was like "this happened to me, and it will happen to youuuu!!" and that really kinda fucked us up both in the long run.

I was kinda closed off emotionally for the longest time because I was super afraid of men taking advantage of me when I was vulnerable. Of course, this only resulted in me being taken advantage of anyway but not being able to recognize it because my only skills on the matter were to "just not open up to men."

I eventually got better because I met my husband, who's really empathetic but sincere and straightforward, and he's helped me learn to open up and be vulnerable with people now. When you realize that people can only hurt you if they think they know something about your that you yourself don't know, it becomes easier to just be an open book and not worry too much!

Sadly, my sister seems to be still super closed off, struggles really hard with allowing herself to be submissive with men, and many of her relationships end up becoming power struggles that never end well. She's a wonderful woman and deserves a great man, but her insistence on having control and "not letting men hurt her" just has resulted in a lot of frustrating relationships.

I still love my mom lots but it's clear that she's more lonely than most women, and that with age she needs us more and more to be there for her. You gotta raise your girls to not be paranoid of men, otherwise they might never build healthy relationships with them. I wouldn't repeat that mistake if I became a mom, I would want my daughters to be happy and healthy around men. A good relationship can truly be something wonderful.

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