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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Unable to care for pets Anonymous 54334

Is anyone else just unable to properly care for their pets? I ended up giving my cat away to my parents because I just couldn't handle feeding her and changing the litter box. I feel like I don't have enough empathy or something to understand why I NEED to do it. One of my pets that I got only a few weeks ago died (it was a bug) and I feel so horrible. It was really rare and I tried to feed it and give it water but I just couldn't do it.
I have friends with a lot of pets who get so much joy from caring for them and spoil them .. why can't that be me?

Anonymous 54335

Sounds like you're in an emotionally or mentally bad spot where you can't handle having responsibilities for others. Take care of yourself and don't kill any more cute little critters please.

Anonymous 54337

Yeah my therapist told me to get a cat for my mental health and I'm like.. I literally tried this the mental health is so bad I couldn't.

Anonymous 54338

If you can tolerate going outside and minimal interaction with other human beings (which might be a big ask if your mental illness is that bad), you could try volunteering at a local shelter. You get outside pressure from the other volunteers to do food and litter and cleaning because it's kind of your job. You get to interact with cute animals and feel good you take care of them without the commitment of having to keep them alive. It also might show you that feeding and litterboxes aren't that bad and make it easier for you if you wanted a cat again later. I get it if you don't want to though, it's just an idea.

Anonymous 54339

OP, if you ever take your cat back, get an automatic timed food feeder, a water fountain, and a litter box that needs minimal work.

Until then, have you considered getting some bird food and just feeding wild birds? You don’t have to look after them and can skip a day or stop whenever you want. If you get a bird guide, you can get to know the different bird types and personalities.

Anonymous 54342

You are mentally in a bad place and can't take care of others. The fact that you made this post shows that you DO care but you are just not in the condition to do that right now. Please take care of yourself first then you will be able to get a pet.
Pets are a big responsibility and a lot of people struggle to give them proper care. Please wait until you are ready. It could be one of your therapy goals to get well enough to care for an animal.

Anonymous 54347

Please wait until you’re able to take care of a pet. It’s a lot of work and money (not even counting the vet bills because that’s part of being a responsible pet owner).
But! You can work towards making yourself better so you can finally have a pet.
Some ideas:
Set up bird feeders outside your window. It’s easy, cheap, and will give you great joy to see them feed every time.
You can volunteer at an animal shelter.
Plant a butterfly garden.

Whenever you do have pets, feed and give them water them the same time as when you’d feed yourself.

Have you ever had a pet growing up? If so, have you always had a lack of empathy or lack of understanding of why they need food, water, and potty time?

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