Yeah, in a way. I'm socially-graceful and can get along if I try and if my depression and especially anxiety doesn't get the best of me that day. I do have this shitty habit of ghosting and going off-the-radar for a while, probably a shame-related thing since I'm neurotic; I also enjoy being missed. Another thing is that I have issues maintaining friendships and relationships for long. My hobbies are also primarily on the introverted-side and focused on loads of reading and writing as I run a blog where I translate old texts and scriptures, and a side-blog where I write poetry, display symbolic art, answer questions, etc. - I can be as dumb as a rock when it comes to anything physical, so I enjoy using and honing my linguistic and artistic talents instead. Have also been considering delving into music since I believe that it as a medium can convey thoughts and emotions beautifully.
I also tend to get stuck in my own head too much at times thinking of abstractions and aesthetics and putting them to paper, and also enjoy my own company too much to allow that many people into my inner-circle, especially because I'm paranoid as hell about being used - physically, mentally, whatever. But I also like being praised for my intellect and personality, and especially my looks. I love dressing up and am a bit obsessive about remaining thin after having been overweight in my teenage years and it having hurt my self-esteem a lot.
But when it comes down to it, I'd like to think of myself as a pretty good friend. Just a bit on the shy side of things. People either love or hate my guts. I tend to get very domineering and emotionally-intense when I know someone up-close and personal, though. But it's just that I get easily bored and appreciate novelty. >>57197>I resurfaced in my old life and most of my old friends had moved on. I'm still extremely grateful for those who accepted me back without a hitch.
Speaking of which, I have always had a better experience reuniting with people irl than online personally. The greetings can be quite overwhelming, lol. I'm often worried about being judged for something. Like people have great expectations of me. But yet they still seem to smile warmly as they realize I am still little ol' me, and, I mean, why shouldn't they? I think because I can be judgemental, I attribute that same behavior onto anyone I come across. Makes me a bit of a perfectionist. >>57142
Yeah, I think the best part of having an SO in that kind of situation is that while initially building up a rapport of friends or even just outright failing in that, you can always have a safe-space in your partner to retreat to. Better still if they themself understand and relate to your plight.
If he has been striving to be more social recently, he may be trying to inspire you to do the same? Iunno, but I at least relate to feeling comfortable in a relationship. I get clingy in an emotional-sense and love the attention and adoration. Although I can be difficult to deal with if my current bf fails to meet my expectations, ngl. Ignorance is a big one. It's why I'm picky. >>57151>Is it all you or is the fandom rising once again?
Not at all lmao, the aesthetic just sticks with me years after the fact.