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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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husband has had an affair Anonymous 58960

>be me
>26F, tradwife & married
>two young boys
>finds out my husband has been conversing conversation back and forth on Facebook behind my back to an ex-college friend
>husband has perverted humour and cannot decide if he may be having an affair with them
>asks him, he denies
>shows the messages i had been taking screenshots of, he denies an affair
>a couple months pass
>see that he's been talking to them frequently again all of the sudden, i stalk his location
>finds out they get coffee together every week
>i snap, he begins to act sulky, in half-denial, but later admits he's been having coffee with her but has been no "affairs"
>a couple weeks pass, finds out he had an affair

I want to leave him and stay at my mothers' for a while and put my mental health together before coming back to the house as it has been slowly draining me but i'm scared of leaving the kids with him - he'll start to get possessive over them and threaten to do something to himself if I take them.
I cannot leave my husband because without him, I'd be living in a council house and i cannot bare being alone

Anonymous 58970

>>58960
>I want to leave him and stay at my mothers' for a while and put my mental health together before coming back to the house as it has been slowly draining me but i'm scared of leaving the kids with him
Would it be impossible to take the kids with you?

>I cannot leave my husband because without him, I'd be living in a council house and i cannot bare being alone

Well the choice is always up to you, I don't think living on your own will be nearly as intolerable as living with him, but only you could decide which is less excruciatingly painful.

Regardless, I don't see how your children would benefit from being near both of you, as it sounds like this will quickly become a toxic environment for them.

Anonymous 58971

I'm so sorry OP. I don't have much advice but yes - I would go to family with your children. He's the one in the wrong here not you.

Anonymous 58973

f6c0bddc8695463d58…

>>58960
Don't give him another chance. He could stop any moment, you gave him many warnings, he decided not to. Please live with your family and try to find a job for a bit. Take kids with you. It will be rough at first, but it's better than tolerating abuse and betrayal. Unfortunately, the "trad wife" thing rarely works out, because when men feel like they are in position of power over their spouse, they stop thinking about them as equal human being, and are okay with cheating on them. Male nature is vile. Don't give into his suicidal threats, no he will not harm yourself, worry about yourself and kids first and foremost. Sorry to dunk on you op. I know you'll pull through. Best wishes. If you want someone to talk to or some small financial help you can ask for my contact info.

Anonymous 58981

I feel for you so much nona <3
Leave his ass and take the kids with you if possible. Idk how far away mom’s is from where you stay but you should do what’s best for your kids. I’m just assuming that keeping the kids, especially if they’re young, with their stay-at-home mom is a better move rather than leaving them in what would essentially a single working parent household for the time being.

Anonymous 59001

>>58960
This is my biggest nightmare lol. If a guy cheated on me after making me bear his children (and not even when we’re old and stuck in a stale marriage, but when we’re still in our twenties and our kids are very young) I would probably strangle him to death.

Anonymous 59004

>>58960
How did you discover he had an affair?

Anonymous 59276

image0.png

>>58973
this isnt OP. i will say your post has made me realize how (and this term is overused and has lost all effect) utterly ignorant 'woke' men and women are in their hatred of the opposite side. i have heard men saying the exact thing you're saying but from the opposite side. maybe you should find peace in God and not in hatred. it will always fall through.

Anonymous 59341

>>59001
this, same here. It's the whole reason I don't want to get married tbh.
Men are just the worst, even though OP did everything right (tradwife, had kids) he still cheated. what a sack of shit, you deserve so much better OP. Your kids do, too

Anonymous 59348

>>58960
you have made so many mistakes in life, no offense. the moid is definitely a big one and he is for sure to blame but you kind of are not good at making decisions.

Anonymous 59353

>>59348
not constructive

Anonymous 59354

>>59353
wasn't meant to be

Anonymous 59356

>>59354
so why say it

Anonymous 59358

Should try and catch him in the act with video evidence.

Don’t make a scene. Just catch them in the act and leave.

Show the video to the lawyer.

Get that Fault based divorce and the alimony

https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/using-adultery-as-a-reason-for-divorce/

Anonymous 59365

>>59354
>>59353
Truth hurts

Anonymous 59378

>i'm scared of leaving the kids with him

But that's the best thing you could do. He wanted a legacy. Now he can care for it by himself.

Anonymous 59403


Anonymous 59687

>>59378
>>59403
>>58960
If he's abussive he could harm the children in order to damage you you should take the children with your parents. There was a recent case of violence against women in Spain when a father of two little girls (age 6 and age 1) killed them and throwed their bodies to the ocean. They've only found 1 body and it's been two months. The couple were one year divorced already, he had cheated on her before breaking up and he was very angry at her for leaving him and finding another partner. The case's name is Anna and Olivia.
If he's not abussive in that way but a dumb cheater you could talk to him before moving out and seek a lawyer asap.



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