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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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FTM considering detrans Anonymous 59288

I'm a 19y/o who troon'd at like 15 for reasons that I believe now had more to do with bullying and self loathing than actual dysphoria. Upon realizing this I have stopped T (I'd been on it for about a year) and am debating on if I should detransition entirely.

I ask you; if my body, naturally, before the T, had made me look like a literal ape with no tits and a Hank Hill ass, does it even do myself or anyone any good for me to detransition? I believe I would be happy to be essentially a butch lesbian if I was a lesbian, or at least bi, but I've never been attracted to women and thus I'm stuck being the exact opposite of the kind of shit straight guys like whilst having to care about it.

Anonymous 59290

I am a bit confused by your post. If you are no longer taking T, what do you mean with fully detransition? Do you mean socially transition? When you say that you would essentially be a butch lesbian, do you mean that you are a tomboy?

Anyway, it's better to be a healthy woman than to try to be a poor failed attempt of a man. Even if you are gender non conforming, there are straight men out there who could be attracted to you. Most women don't look like models and we still manage to find male partners, so don't don't let that stop you from being true to yourself.

Anonymous 59291

The first question to ask yourself is what mistake lead to you transitioning in the first place, and to discover for yourself if you're not making an equal or greater mistake attempting to go back in the opposite direction. What do you gain by detransitioning?

Anonymous 59300

>I ask you; if my body, naturally, before the T, had made me look like a literal ape with no tits and a Hank Hill ass, does it even do myself or anyone any good for me to detransition?
You can't just live a lie based on looks. If you don't feel right with being trans then you need to accept mistakes and embrace what feels right. You're going to feel so much better and you'll perhaps not regret taking T and see this as a period in your life when you tried to figure yourself out. Please do not worry what others will think and pursue your own desire.

Anonymous 59303

Yeah, socially

I understand it’ll be a pain in the ass for everyone who puts up with me but the potential gain here is just being “true to myself” or whatever, as well as freeing up space in a community that should be for people with a serious problem. I don’t feel comfortable calling myself trans when I never had any actual dysphoria to begin with and I could live more or less just as comfortably as a woman.

From my own perspective I don’t regret the testosterone, or my experience with this. I’m alright with being masculine, the thing I’m grappling with is that it’s easier to be masculine (and ugly) as a man.

Anonymous 59304

>I understand it’ll be a pain in the ass for everyone who puts up with me but the potential gain here is just being “true to myself” or whatever, as well as freeing up space in a community that should be for people with a serious problem. I don’t feel comfortable calling myself trans when I never had any actual dysphoria to begin with and I could live more or less just as comfortably as a woman.

I need you to articulate something to me very clearly, you are doubting yourself now, but at the time, did you not also transition to be "true to yourself(tm)"? Unless you're stating that you were under a spell of lunacy at the time, what was your explicit thought process at the time of transistioning?

Anonymous 59306

There are straight men who like strong and more masculine looking women. I see them all the time.

Anonymous 59319

How'd you do with men while full-on FtM?

Anonymous 59330

You wouldn’t have had your woman curves come in yet at 15 tbh, I’ve never trooned out but I do know I had the body of a little boy until I was in my 20s, deffo became wider in the hips and chest. Your estrogen will catch up with you, just be kind and patient to yourself as your body reverses the weirdness. You can also utilise techniques MtF do or even just flatter/boxier women re; building shape through exercise etc.
If you’re hairy just do hair removal. Tons of women are naturally hairy. Just invest in yourself and have a self maintainence night every week where you do hair removal and body scrubs and blah blah blah.

Anonymous 59373

I never got why they never just gave estrogen to trannies (female) and testosterone to trannies (male) to restore the hormone imbalance to its natural state.

Anonymous 59374

they dont have hormonal imbalances

Anonymous 59376

If you're talking about people who destransition, they do. If you're talking about trannies before they trooned out, they tried that during the conversion therapy era and it didn't work. Conservatives weren't only trying to make gay people not gay, they tried to make troons not troons either.

Anonymous 59379

Have you tried coercing a gay man into being your boyfriend yet? Don't give up on trooning out unless you're sure it didn't work.

Anonymous 59384

that sounds like terrible advice lmao

Anonymous 59385

OP isn't dysphoric. Her main concern is whether she'll be attractive to men. My advice is flawless.

Anonymous 59390

how much has the T affected you?

Anonymous 59456

OP don't make your fuckability in the eyes of moids your prime reason for doing anything. They will literally have sex with anything. If you want to detranstition, do it for yourself.

Anonymous 61226


Gay men's sexual attraction is very physically oriented, meaning they usually have strong genital preferences. Trans men often struggle in gay male circles for their lack of a true penis.

Anonymous 61242

>I'm a 19y/o who troon'd at like 15
>''Does it really matter for me to detransition if I'm not pretty at the end of it, (besides my health earning a big improvement)?''
>a gay FTM

What the hell is wrong with people?

Anonymous 61252

Its female socialization. She probably trooned out because she felt inadequate and ugly as a girl in the first place. Many ftms and female nbs transition because they feel ugly and disgusting as females and hope to become a cute soft uwu gay boi. Obv it doesn't work and you just look like a freakshow plus gay men don't touch ftms with a 10 foot pole

Anonymous 61255


I understand that, but when did our identities became such a matter of sex rather than a matter of subculture? While growing up I felt inadequate, ugly and weird, but that just lead me to think I would never be ''this type'' of girl (posh, elegant, cute… stuff more related to my economic status and the style I could achieve with my income and my bodytype). But I'd never feel less of a woman for that because that was just a matter of style, my sex could have never be more or less confirmated that it has always been because I had a vagoo. Why would a girl in the XXIst century feel the urge of pretending she has a ''male identity'' in a time when you see plenty of tomboys in media and stuff? It's like the evil is way more rooted than just not feeling ''girly'' enough.

Anonymous 61259

Because with the dissolution of gender there was a complete loss of a culture for the sub-cultures to be a part of. Being a woman was a defined social role with multiple expressions of said role, but hard boxed into a certain set of behaviors regardless. With no absolute culture, there are no sub-cultures, without any sub-cultures, when you start drifting to the fringes, there is no end, because there is no edge. At some point it can be included you've managed to wander completely outside of the box. You can say
>but societal roles for your particular sex and being that sex are two different things
And maybe that's true in the objective sense, but for the majority of people, we act out roles we identify with, and, more importantly, identify with roles we act out. With nothing to act out scripted (You can be anything you want to be!), you just wonder off the margins at some point.

Anonymous 61263

I see your points but I don't think subcultures have died at all, I believe they are still an important part of the identity of many teens and they are diverse enough to fit all those ''not so girly'' girls. Besides, what's exactly that ''gender dissolution'' your talking about? Something that happened mid 2010s? All this transexual and non-binary nonsense wasn't mainstream until then.

Anonymous 61266

Because the role of the gender "woman" has been redefined to include people who are not female. The reason we see so many female nonbinaries nowadays is because "woman" has been redefined to mean "anyone who fulfills feminine gender stereotypes and identifies with them". Obviously not a lot of females are fully okay with female gender roles and sure as shit don't identify with them. So they identity out of the role of "woman". The more females do this, the more "woman" is defined as "vapid semisentient sex bimbo who is stupid and only thinks about clothes, makeup and cock". So many girls think they just have to be nb because they don't identity with the bimbo definition of woman

Apart from that, the most extreme cases of this are ftms who are so repulsed by being perceived as female or so crushed by not being able to fulfill this gender role, that they delude themselves into thinking they can finally become a real human being by transitioning. The most annoying of these are the "gay trans men" who have reached such gorillian levels of delusion that they think an actual homosexual male would fuck their female bodies or engage with their sown on rotten flesh tube. Obviously this doesn't happen and depression and 41 ensues

You know who DOES identity with this degrading porn definition of woman though? Perverted males

Anonymous 61272


Come back qween<3 read this book too btw

Anonymous 61273

It happened before then, the deconstruction of what it meant to be a girl goes back to the "positive self esteem" messages of the 1990s. Anything along the lines of "you can be anything!" was a step in this direction. You can think this was innocuous, and in isolation it is, but what it encouraged among other factors is a complete loss of what it actually means to be female. If women can be anything, anything could be female. You can argue that's not how it works logically, but humans don't act logically. With no negative elements and only positive reinforcement, there's no "correcting factor" to allow individuals to orient themselves. This isn't to say that the roles, actions, behaviors or "stereotypes" defined what it is to be woman in a positive or negative way, it just by definition defined it. No definition, no stability, no stability, complete mishmess into "just be whatever you want to be" which applies to literally everything.

Anonymous 61279

This, womanly hips (and ass) don't normally grow in until your 20s, that's why teen pregnancy results in babies not growing big enough. Doing squats, lunges, and other booty exercises definitely helps a lot, too if you naturally have a flatter butt.
Also, this. "Straight" men will literally fuck MtF trannies who look obviously male, or even literal drag queens who haven't transitioned whatsoever. There's no way they won't fuck any actual woman, not matter how masculine you think you look.

Anonymous 61838


If you are living your life according to what men want then you are doomed to failure. They don't give a shit about your wellbeing and constantly shift the golaposts so that no matter what, a woman is somehow at fault. Moids shit on ugly and masculine women but they also denigrate ultra-feminine women as well, calling them sluts or dumbasses. You are female and will always be female, so stop mutilating yourself further with testosterone and live your life with dignity.

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