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Being outspoken Anonymous 108054

Anyone else here have issues being outspoken, particularly as a woman? I’ve been outspoken pretty much my whole life and more than anything it seems to end up with certain men taking a dislike to me. I often find myself telling myself to shut up but I physically can’t stop myself from saying something if I think something’s not right. Especially being in work now it can be rather awkward…

Anonymous 108162


Yeah, it’s gender roles sexism.

Try pretending to be a man online but without changing your outspoken personality. You will find almost zero resistence and much more acceptance. It’s gender role expectations.

Anonymous 108198

>Anyone else here have issues being outspoken, particularly as a woman? I’ve been outspoken pretty much my whole life and more than anything it seems to end up with certain men taking a dislike to me.
This sentence is completely different from
>I often find myself telling myself to shut up but I physically can’t stop myself from saying something if I think something’s not right. Especially being in work now it can be rather awkward…
So, what is exactly your problem, OP? Which is it?

Anonymous 108337

How is it different?

Anonymous 108348

Who dislikes you specifically? If they're losers don't worry about them.

Anonymous 108349


Maybe I'm being very autistic, but the difference I see with these two is that the former is on having social detriments by being an outspoken woman. While the latter is having trouble controlling oneself on not being able to hold an opinion at a certain moment where it isn't appropriate to do so (i.e., being a little too honest/righteous, or so).

I think I should've just focused on the question, and that question only. So just ignore my autism.
I also thought, for some reason, this was /feels/ instead of /b/, hence the further questioning of what's going on and what OP wants. Will answer it after this post.

Anonymous 108351

I am not outspoken that much myself, unless needed to be. Though when I am, I do not have problem people disliking me but being more intimidated and slightly frightened given my lack of assertiveness overall. Not to mention I am considered smart by other people given how I look, act, and talk.

Either way, outside of that, I do not care whatsoever about what other people think since they will be judgemental whether or not I'm outspoken. The only thing I care about is about my safety and my interests.

Anonymous 108352

It works for me really well. I've always been outspoken. But I balance it a lot most of the time. Sometimes online i vent / rage but irl i only say something when the opening is right. I dont get resistance. But then I don't debate things. I go into a situation already feeling like things are set up for me so I dont have to get into it. When I'm outspoken it's usually well recieved but I say things that really really need to be said

The internet is frequently a place for me to rip on and talk misogynist into hell. It's a way to release pent up energy and honestly it works really well for letting off steam. You have to find a nice balance to make it work.

Anonymous 108354

i have autism

Anonymous 108362


i wish this was me. i'm the complete opposite, and happen to find myself unable to say anything that i want because i fear being seen as weird, stupid, etc. probably due to years of being bullied as i was the "weird kid" in most social settings. the different kind of autism…

Anonymous 108366

I try to be as outspoken as possible

Anonymous 108384

When I was young I felt weird but everyone is wierd. I mean really good GOD people are wierd. I think helps to see everyone's insanity and derangement. Most people are psycho. They pretend not to but the all have varying degrees of psycho or unhinged.

Anonymous 108418

I'm great at speaking up for other people, but when it comes to being outspoken for things that immediately concern me I become a sniveling little coward. I don't know why. Usually, this forms a weird harem of nervous people who hover around me and seem to have imprinted upon me like freshly hatched ducklings, though, which is a plus.

Anonymous 108509


We know, anon.

Anonymous 108514

Just imagine you are someone you are supposed to helping instead of yourself next time you want to speak up about something.

Anonymous 109171

Exactly same, anon, but I had to stop the online one because apparently that was a redflag in my last relationship

Anonymous 111194

Never had such a problem. If anything, men like me for having a ‘strong personality’. There are some who seethe because I humiliate them in front of others, but most think I am a cool gal who is ‘one of the boys’. My personality has always carried me because I am plain in my looks.

Anonymous 111202

yes, I want to be outspoken but I never have. Also unrelated but men are so weird towards outgoing women. They will think you are talking over them if you talk at all or don't let THEM talk over you.

Anonymous 111289

This. Dale Spencer did a study that showed men believe discussion is equal when women speak ~15% of the time, and they think a conversation becomes dominated by women when they speak for ~30% of the time.

Anonymous 111293

So you go in talking as much as you want. Say what you want, and ignore them. If they try to talk over you ignore it like nothing happened and talk the way they might. As long as you can keep an intelligent conversation going about whatever at hand it doesn't matter.

Anonymous 111315

Good advice anon.

Anonymous 111317

I don't care about certain men disliking me, the only thing I care about is how being outspoken as a woman gets people telling me to shut up.

Anonymous 111366

right? I was literally thinking of that study when I said that. I was also thinking of how my brother interrupts me almost every time I talk but then has the gall to say I interrupt HIM because I decided to talk and not just listen to him ramble 24/7.

Anonymous 111367

Good advice. I'm not really shy because of men disliking me, I'm more shy because I don't relate to other people and they don't relate to me, so the stuff I want to talk about is weird and the stuff other people want to talk about is stuff I don't relate to at all.

Anonymous 112216

I am very outspoken and can talk a lot. I don't care anymore and love proving men wrong or just not playing their stupid social games and they often get offended or mad. I'm outspoken and mean towards annoying men for all women who can't be like me. I want them to know that we don't accept their bullshit and they aren't as smart as they think they are

Anonymous 112259

There's a difference between being outspoken and being socially inept. Not everything is muh moids.

Anonymous 112392

Don't worry. It's not your fault that the mood is awkward, it's on the assholes for being assholes. Unlearn the people pleasing thing, you're fine.

Anonymous 115529

If a man tries to talk over you then just continue talking, they're used to women being submissive in conversations. Use the same tactics against them. Never forget that women are more important for society than men

Anonymous 115540

In the previous pinkpill thread a link was posted about a study (or something?) that showed that men actually talk more than women despite the idiotic misogynistic stereotype of women talking too much.

Anonymous 116121

If you feel you can't get a word in it should make you angry and you should make an effort to put your two cents in no matter what. Also, this is equally important, become excellent at handling rejection and inviting it by being honest regularly when it's difficult but important. Like make a goal of soliciting rejection 3 times a week, so you get better and better at it. Life is nothing but conflict and resolution. It should be a breeze for you.

Anonymous 116124

Actually don't think about that so much. It's normal to communicate assertively in your career and in business. And if you don't know how to use "bad" aggression to your advantage when it's necessary you're going to fall behind where a ton of people succeed.

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