i still feel scared and sad when i think about what you did to me. i often find myself wondering why i feel scared all of the sudden and my mind just always goes straight to you. what might happen in the future. what happened in the past. what you did to me. i hope you know. i’m scared and hurting over it. i dont know if i’m going to be okay. i don’t know how to let people close to me. you did that. i would have been okay. i will never understand why you did this to me. i did nothing to you.

>>128376
you can still heal :'(

>>128377
it felt like i was going to for a while. i don’t know why it stopped. i don’t know why i can never fully get better.

It hurts how easily you can willingly choose to go more than 24 hours without checking in on the supposed love of your life. you’re not clingy needy or obsessive. why would you lie to me and say you were?

you never should have done those things to me. you should have gone abroad and left me alone to be happy and start school that year instead of waiting for you. there were about half a dozen people willing to treat me better than you did but you wanted to win the game. you could have let me be in love for real, you could have let me have my dreams and my values intact, you could have let me start my life. instead you had me staying at a retail job for another year to save to be with you and start a college program together you never ended up going to. you are so selfish. you are so so selfish. aren’t you ashamed?

My life fell apart unexpectedly and I'm between homes at the moment, couch surfing for the 3rd… maybe 4th time? It seems like every time I get my feet on solid ground something devastating comes along and sweeps it right from under me and I'm on the run again or back to a bad place. I've been going to work with the same two pants and shirts for two weeks and it's embarrassing as hell. I might not even have a job in a month cause of a change in company ownership and drastic changes/budget cuts they are making to top it all off. I'm starting to resent the people around me for having relatively stable, good lives while I'm constantly only just barely keeping my head above water. I try and keep a pretty good attitude despite it all but I'm losing the willpower to keep it up.

chugging down a berry flavor vodka bottle while snacking like a fat bitch rn. nobody loves me and i'm a nuisance to everyone around me. every year i hope this is the year, but it never is.

>>128365
How did you lose all of your things

I miss him so fucking much nonas. Fucking bipolar.

I slept 11 hours and then took a 2.5 hour nap and I'm still so tired. Stress exhaustion is real. Coffee only helps a little.

men love women the same way they love any other object or thing, not a person

men don't love

You probably have problems when you end up in a situationship like that lul

think 'Love' can be very different between individuals overall

>>128388
Imo sometimes it’s not enough to acknowledge insanity to fix it

>>128389
mhm didn't think it did, it's just something that puzzles me. then again, thats maybe also the point - we cant understand that situation, or its at least very hard to

I'd to hurt as many people as I can but I'm sure nothing will happen, no one I know will feel this much pain, they weren't the ones to kill themselves after all

Kill your landlord first

>>128412
Real.

Girl I used to be fat (obese). Start counting your calories (My fitness pal helps). Walk a lot (10,000 steps per day is recommended). Avoid ultra processed food. Cook from scratch. Go to the gym and ask the staff what exercises they recommend. Ask them to demonstrate the exercises and make a routine for you if you're not sure. You're paying them so they'll be happy to help you. If you're really obese and nothing works, you may benefit from Ozempic/Mounjaro.

>>128363
I am like 166 LBS or 75 KG
I have a double chin,hip dips, leg and belly fat to the point it creates a round spot in front of my pants like a pudgy belly…I hate it so much…I’ll take this advice and try a couple things…my biggest issue is being hungry all the time and not having motivation to work out…I’ve started doing squats or wall sits when I’m not doing anything…I just want to be happy with my body

>>128364
"Hip dips" sounds like some terminally online shit. Do you use Tiktok/Instagram a lot? If so you should consider cutting them out entirely, there is almost no benefit to using them aside from if you need it for social connection sparingly. They will make you hate yourself for no reason.

I also used to be fat af. What is your current diet like? You won't be able to reduce your calorie intake sustainably if you're hungry all the time.

Doing diet/exercise will make you happier with your body as long as you're not doing it as a way of dealing with some other major life stressor/self hatred/negative self beliefs, which you probably have considering you're using this website. I used to be fat af and lost a lot of weight and I wasn't able to do shit about it until I started working through past trauma.

You'll be fine, ily

>>128359
Put down the fork fatty.

>>128384
Lmao I don’t even eat that much, I just don’t work out, and when I do I’m just walking around my work

TALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND UNDERRATED
RAAAAAAH

>>127746
Wrong

Sad…

Are those men shorter than you? They will tend to be insecure about it. Some exceptions.

>>128385
I’m taller than my boyfriend and it makes me really insecure how often he has to talk about it not bothering me. I hate seeing pictures of his ex swimming in his t-shirts like they’re dresses and knowing his shirts would hug my belly. I’m a head taller than him and it’s super visible.

are there any actual behaviours you can give us as an example? of why you feel retarded?

>>128399
Ok I needed to think about it a little. TLDR: weird attention disorder thing?

Example 1: Workplace assessment a few years ago. Every new employee had to prepare to answer to 10 questions in a week or two. No matter how much time it felt I devoted I couldn't really understand what they wanted to hear from me and my answers always seemed incomplete. I kinda just forgot about certain details and didn't think they matter?
I had the same problem during uni verbal exams. I don't know when it started exactly but I remember kinda mentally giving up on this back in school.

Now that doesn't apply if the question has specific boundaries (I love multiple choice tests). This also makes me look weird asf when I talk to other people like I'm not paying attention to the purpose of the conversation.
This actually made answering the question itself quite difficult because I keep defaulting to the very subjective side of experiences/perceptions and not what would be most appropriate for people to hear.


Example 2: Very inappropriate affect and it's the actual embarrassing part… I get too excited by (or involved in) stuff that's too miniscule. Like I once heard some dumbass detail about foreign security agents (doesn't matter) and I just spoke to my friend about it and she said "are you okay you sound like you have an episode" (normally she's really nice so it's genuine) I also get frustrated if people don't pay attention to specific small details like I do. Also I'll ruminate over some random detail in the past to the point I neglect my own needs like home getting cleaned or whatever other responsibilities there are.
I understand I'm acting weird but I just NEED to get this affect out or my thinking gets even worse.

Now this all improves the less stress I have and it sometimes feels like I'm almost thinking like a normal person only to get flunged back later.
Yeah I know it's not really a /feels/ thing at this point and more like "go to the doctor" one. I'll update them on that.

>>128402
maybe youre a highfunctioning autist
autism is a spectrum meaning anyone can be varying degrees of divergent neurologically and theres probably some ppl like you who mightve gone their entire lives never questioning it

>>128403
I knew someone would mention it.
I questioned it before and my symptoms overlap a lot, but I don't have stable autistic traits, didn't have trouble forming relationships during childhood, don't have trouble understanding other people's feelings really… Just abstract tasks like I described.
Plus now that I'm in a good environment my wiring is gradually kinda getting back sometimes which is weird.

Everything changed after I survived sepsis with delirium in early childhood, so maybe it's some sort of neurological dysregulation that never been treated. I do notice I tend to get along with TBI victims better kek.

Now I do recall my dad seems to go off rails in conversation too but it's always with the goal of boasting and showing off or something. So maybe there's some weird genetic component too.

>>128406
I’m no doctor but I’d be exploring either ADHD (hyper focus on small details) or depression (over analysis of past events). Either way practicing mindfulness can keep you out of the past and within the moment. Good luck!

>>127784
Like a month ago I was very motivated to find one as i wanted to feel productive, but now I find myself slipping again. Knowing I'll have to eventually wake up sleep deprived and having to go somewhere early and spend 10 hours there just so I can afford food and pay my bills is kind of daunting.

Last online friend just blocked me and removed me on every platform out of nowhere and now I have no one. I often wonder if I am just so unlikeable or annoying that spending time with me is so miserable, but people seem to generally enjoy my company. The problem is just that I am the last option with every person I meet so they end up ignoring me for long periods of time while I'm sat at my computer feeling too anxious to send a message (until the loneliness becomes so unbearable that I bite the bullet and reach out).

I am dealing with a chronic illness that leaves me housebound and in turn I have developed severe agoraphobia. I haven't gone outside in years so it's hard for me to make real friends. Therapy didn't work and brute force doesn't work so I don't know what to do. I feel very stuck. I am so bored and lonely every single day with no one to talk to and nothing to do, while also dealing with probably the worst physical illness related episode in my life. I'm in pain in every physical way with no comfort or joy anywhere. It's so depressing and I constantly just blame myself because if everyone vanishes then I must be the problem somehow. I'm getting tired of asking myself what's wrong with me every night while trying to sleep. I always try my best to make every friendship work out and go above and beyond, even changing myself completely, for people and they still all disappear.

>>127786
It could also be their own issues making them isolate, but I feel you. I don't have the confidence to make online friends in the first place, so I'm lucky to have a stable anonymous community I can generally exist peacefully in

It hurts, it hurts so much but maybe it's time to accept it, not everyone makes it out of the bottom and most people rot right where they started

>>128394
kys

Ma'am, this is a wendy's.

>>128380
no this is /feels/ on the idiot loser femcel website

It sounds like you're making good progress in school. If you're thriving in that ecosystem, you'll probably do well in the corporate system if you can find a good boss. Don't worry aboutit.