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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

check-list-4609829…

Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

Do not make threads about the following topics or you will be banned:


- Race/Ethnicity/Nationality (including stereotypes & preferences)
- Religion
- (Why) do guys…
- (Why) do you like guys who [insert preference here]
- (Why) do guys like [insert preference here]
- how to get a bf/gf (who does xyz)
- Any fetish/kink talk

If you want to talk about Radfem/TERF/Gendercritical themes, do not make a new thread. Post in the existing threads on /b/ and keep discussion civil.

Use the catalog.



im-scared-hes-goin…

Anonymous 122774[Reply]

Disillusioned. Spent a large part of my life being inclusive to people who are "different" because of feeling like an outcast in childhood. Shit just blows up in my face. I don't consider myself GC or anything like that but I am noticing a sickening pattern.

Why is it that nearly every trans woman I've befriended or have to work with has caused absolutely fucking chaos in my life and acted like they were the poor little victim when I called them out on it. I can't talk about this shit anywhere or I'm a bigot apparently.

I remember when I came out as bi to my friends over a decade ago, my family somehow found out, and then it was a total fucking nuclear explosion of issues. I was ostracized in my small town for something I didn't even want to be known publicly. But now it's some bizarre purity test to be some flavor of queer and if I don't mention it I don't deserve respect?… Maybe it's because I'm so past that point, but my orientation is such a small part of my life and has little to do with how I view the substance a person has.

I don't want to dictate how other people live, whatever you want to do go for it. But I've been used, stalked, screamed at, and professionally sabotaged by people like this more often than the rest of the population, totally unprovoked. Ten in a row is insane and a pattern. I rarely get treated this way elsewhere. Even the men I work with are decent and kind in comparison.

My boss will be pretty assertive with anyone except the trans women on our team. I was being creeped on by one of our clients and one of the trans women basically sabotaged my safety. The other sabotaged me at a public event. Boss just shrugs her shoulders when I bring this up and is way too nice to them. Says some shit about second puberty and calls it a day. What's worse is I think her processing is skewed because she has a trans daughter that's financially and emotionally abusive to her. She is an elderly disabled woman, and I feel like they're only getting away with this because she's walking on eggshells. It hurts to watch because I'm also disabled and was abused by my family for it. But her daughter just gets away with it because “she's going thru a hard time.” That's not love.

Weren't we still expected to have accountability while we were going thru puberty?? I'm so sick of this bs without being able to talk about it.

What do I even do? Who do I even talk to?…

Anonymous 122779

Where are these groups of pervasively disabled and abused bisexual/trans people? I feel like I don't know anyone who fits these descriptions - why do they congregate together?

Anonymous 122780

>>122779

I guess they're hard to come across if you're unemployed and don't get to know anyone on a personal level.

Anonymous 122781

>>122780
lmao @ this reply



611d2574feb40943ac…

Advice for friends Anonymous 122756[Reply]

How to stop dissociating

I am lately losing touch with reality and end up doomscrolling over temu or anything, I just have one left friend

And I try to get inside girl groups

Yet most of them think I'm a man online somehow. Some say I am too manly or too autistic.

Even in college groups I was asked if I was a man by a person on chat.

I do not know how to meet other women my age or not, I just want to form groups and do stuff like watch movies and walk yapping or do stuff

Im an autist and do not know how to keep friends

I really need some advice, nonas
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122778

>>122776
Hmm, it makes sense. I mean, most people can't validate you meaningfully if they're unable to empathize with you. Their positivity has no substance because even when they admire you they don't see the real you. You know? I would rather be looked down upon but understood. That's kinda the real acceptance to me.

For example, most of the population simply doesn't understand the difficulties of being intensely dissociated so they are literally incapable of comprehending it. Took me until recently I like talking to people who are traumatized themselves and don't put up some stupid front about it.

I'm glad if it's of any help to you nona. I really enjoy reflecting on this stuff myself.

Anonymous 122782

>>122778
So why are you not? Do you share your opinions? Point towards truths? Don't smalltalk? Trying to help out here nona.

Anonymous 122788

>>122782
Not what exactly? Accepted? Dissociated?

I don't really feel much social difficulty at this point, even if there's room for improvement. I can smalltalk just fine. I share my opinions in a way that's congruent with the social environment.

But, I do have my issues I can't work out myself. I still seem very emotionally distant from everyone and it scares me. I have little understanding how people get others to become intimate so easily, how they manage to get the crowd's mood going. I think I didn't evoke much emotions in other people besides dread or being creeped out until recently. Perhaps with time I'll get in touch more with myself and everyone else.

Anonymous 122792

>>122788

Reactions are just that, reactions. People melt with each other because they react as that, as if they reciprocate something.

Some people are good manipulators, some are not.

It is nice to know you are learning how to do what you want to do nona, good things happen when you do what you want.

Anonymous 122793

>>122792
>Reactions are just that, reactions. People melt with each other because they react as that, as if they reciprocate something.
That's actually what I tell myself and it helps me avoid taking things personally.



Station-Wagon-Prod…

how to get off without porn or my vibrator again Anonymous 122614[Reply]

So basically, I've been a gross coomer since I was 13, I know it's disgusting and very male-like. I've been trying to quit porn for years but it's been very hard. On the other hand, I also can't really orgasm without my toy anymore. I'm going on a hiatus again to try and get better. I think it's a bit easier to leave porn but istg I can't get off with just my fingers, does anyone have any advice on reviving a dead clit?
9 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122769

>>122768


it's all about money and avoiding manwhores.


A warm puppy cute guy who can welcome you home will always go for you if you can think detach enough to not care if your dog dies.

Men know and notice when you accept they are whores, when they say they don't notice they are either lying or are deeply autistic. Even a psychopath can notice subtle cues, they just cannot care.

Therapy is manipulation.

Looking for a househusband is accepting your job is to pay bills, solve problems and get home to see your adorable and cute husband. Not the other way around.

Praise a dog for being good, do not say "ow but he's a cute traumatized cutie" he's a retard. He's stupid. He's retarded.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 122770

>>122769
nta, but what if i am deeply autistic

Anonymous 122789

>>122767
Well obviously I don't have a lover, if I did I wouldn't be here complaining about this comer bs

Anonymous 122790

>>122789

Well I recommend you to do what I said, do not focus on cooming. Do not be a coomer

IT's useless and you waste energy

You will be stressed out for something that's not even worth it.

Try to do stuff that is actually worth it, focus on your career instead, do exercise, sleep and eat well.

There is nothing else you can really do about it, trying to avoid it and then do it once will make you relapse on cooming

Anonymous 122791

>>122770

deeply autistic socially or deeply autistic as retarded, nona?



4cf335a318c68059b4…

Anonymous 119969[Reply]

Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?
48 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122200

>>122188
do what you need to do, follow your heart. seriously.
you are not entitled to anyone and if someone is settling with you just so they don't be alone and holding you back then it's your decision
don't do it all on a whim if you're going to leave him though, make sure you're financially stable, have a place to stay (or go back to your home country, since you did bring that up) and have a plan

Anonymous 122378

>>121902
trvthke

Anonymous 122484

>>120009
male hands typed this

Anonymous 122675

I've only ever once fallen in love, during my first year in college. I have never met anyone else I've wanted to date. And now it seems impossible, since now everyone my age isn't a virgin, so I'll never find true love.

Anonymous 122786

>>122188
What should he have said - that he has plenty of other options? Would that make you feel better?



1749570613863.jpg

Anonymous 122630[Reply]

I wish all men looked like this
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122645

>>122644
they will be expected to wear jerseys with their girlfriends full names on them so that they can be identified

Anonymous 122646

>>122645
some men would swap jerseys

Anonymous 122648

>>122646
well that just means you get to enjoy a harem of cute boys.
if women dont want to take the risk we could force men to wear irremovable tech gadgets/devices/chips thatll identify them through an app.

Anonymous 122784

>>122648
Oh yeah and give them all a mindchip which reinforces the right behavior, they'll stay at home, cook, clean, take care of the kids amd will be always available. They wouldn't have any other life and will be solely dependent on the relationship and will love it.

Anonymous 122785

stop yapping about useless stuff and just give us his name already, holy shit



IMG_4257.jpeg

Tempted to contact ex who harassed me Anonymous 122025[Reply]

It’s wrong and I know we’re over but I want to talk to him again I miss his giggles. His softness. His jokes. What can I do to stop this feeling….
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122205

>>122202
Not op
i should have never left my bf in the first place, i did check out of the relationship for a long time and i self reflected on it and my reason why due to boredom and missing the spark feeling, i thought relationships were all about the firework and spark but i never met anyone like him anymore he was the only guy who told me that he chooses me everyday even when things get hard. This was a month ago and i told him to leave me alone out of my own anger during our last phonecall, recently he sent me a mail that mentioned that he can't live in area at all since every time he drives it reminds him of our memories so he literally enlisted himself in the navy. I just feel so bad, i made a mistake and i want him so bad but i just have a feeling that if i break the silence and reach out he may not want me anymore

Anonymous 122208

>>122205
sorry for the yapfest
well, first, you'd need to ask yourself if your boredom is going to become a problem again. i don't know you or your bf or the relationship you've had together, so this is something you need to mainly figure out yourself. i cannot stress this enough, figure out your own shit before getting back or into a relationship.
second, it's obvious he still cares IN some way (whatever it may be) and probably still likes you, hell he's even enlisting in the fuckin navy because he's probably broken up over you. don't be afraid to break the silence, believe me haha. i've missed my chance when i could've opened up and talked to my boyfriend after our break up, and genuinely from the bottom of my heart i regret it deeply. i could've mended our relationship, got closure or even said a goodbye.

i can't promise you anything, but please talk to him before he leaves, genuinely. you may not get the outcome you want, but atleast you'll both have closure, and potentially in the future can rekindle that spark.
and, if it helps; open up to him about your feelings if you'd like, tell him what really happened and why you lashed out, just be honest, okay?

Anonymous 122328

talk like the other nona said with that moid

but do not expect anything from a man again

learn a strategy game and try to develop better long term thinking skills.

"what if I say x? he probably will say Y."

Think like an engineer. Think about the worst consequence and prepare for the worst.

If the best happens, it just happens. You prepared yourself for it and conquered, you lost battles but won a war.

Anonymous 122639

just gigglemaxx

Anonymous 122783

>>122328
Would you like moids to do the same? To treat a relationship with you as bound for failure, having several escape plans and alternative options because this one is bound to fail and if it works out it just does? Sounds grim.



IMG_5460.jpeg

Unsent Letter Thread Anonymous 115657[Reply]

Previous Thread >>2119
250 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122608

i just want to be okay

Anonymous 122612

you can always reach anyone by sending flowers.

Anonymous 122613

all these ladies pining over me

Anonymous 122637

i wish you’d followed through with it. i’m ready for peace.

Anonymous 122777

i’ve literally been good even as you’ve hacked into one of my accounts. just please apologize to me.



e1b7c3ca030d321b6b…

Vent Thread Anonymous 120288[Reply]

Previous thread >>117577
261 posts and 38 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122731

54fe1631786d578172…

I can't help but feel I've fucked up my life beyond repair. I know it's not true, but I just have no idea how to get out of this rut.
I graduated 2.5 years ago and still do not have a job due to extreme burnout, family issues, and horrendous mental heath issues. I'm going to be 27 later this year and I am still living at home, have no career, and no boyfriend/husband.
I have no desire to have a career. I just want to be a stay at home mom, but I am so behind I honestly don't know if that will happen.
I didn't used to be so incompetent. I lived a fairly normal life up until my mid-twenties. I worked really hard, I did get a good STEM degree, and I've had relationships before.
There are positives. I would consider myself to be fairly pretty, I am not fat, I do have a good degree, my family is fairly wealthy. But the insane burnout I've suffered after I got out of school has ruined my life.

Anonymous 122734

One day I will defeat the patriarchy.
One day I will defeat them all.

Anonymous 122735

>>122734
You have my sword

Anonymous 122736

>>122734
And my bow

Anonymous 122775

I am at the point where I am willing to attend therapy despite the costs. I don't have a car yet so I can only do online appointments, but it is so difficult trying to find someone. Psychiatrist or nurse practioner? With or without insurance? What's worse, most therapists who specialize in my area of concern are men. But if I were to talk to a woman, I would be so afraid of her judgement. I feel hopeless.



Hikikomori_,_Hiasu…

/rock bottom/ - general Anonymous 76609[Reply]

This thread is for people who have hit rock bottom. Not people who are having a bad day, but people who are living in the depths of despair. Whether you're a nona who is struggling with serious addiction, mental or physical illness that severely precludes your life, constantly feeling suicidal, whether you're being abused, have any other serious life issues or if you are simply unable to function and don't know where else to turn, vent here and let's try to support each other.
187 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 122694

>>122688
She sounds mentally unwell. Have her checked into the ward.

Anonymous 122718

>>122694
Those cost money dum-dum, why make a broke women broke-er. Never institutionalise loved ones, not even your worst enemies.

Anonymous 122725

>>122718
Psych wards should be free, like prison

Anonymous 122727

>>122616
You can still recover, as long as you're not fat.

Anonymous 122771

new rock bottom, havent been with anyone for nearly 10 yrs and recently slept with someone who pretended tobe cool with a close intimate relationship but was actually creting an environment of confusion and pain. im shattered and weak and relapsing.



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