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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous Admin 49939[Reply]

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No affection Anonymous 133482[Reply]

out somewhere today
see this couple absolutely shameless about PDA
holding hands, hugging, leaning all over each other, the whole thing
they looked genuinely comfortable with each other

meanwhile I’m sitting there thinking about how I barely ever get affection
never experienced affection from a man either
never been intimate with anyone
honestly don’t even really remember what a proper hug feels like anymore

not even trying to make this into some “woe is me” shit
just got me wondering what it actually feels like to be loved on
to have someone want to hold you, touch you, cuddle you, whatever
must be a weird feeling when you’re not used to it

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133489

>>133482
I don't enjoy physical intimacy and affection.
It makes me uncomfortable when people hug me or lay next to me on a couch. People who show affection for me, especially in a romantic way, make me feel contemptuous.

Anonymous 133493

>Do you just eventually stop thinking about it?
Yes
If you're alone for long enough you'll sooner or later reach a point where you stop caring altogether, because there's no other option.
You can, if you want, counter some of the sadness by remembering all the things you aren't at risk of (or at lower risk of) by being alone, such as stds, stis, cheating, physical abuse, arguments, infections transmitted through kissing, partner perpetrated misogyny, betrayal, pregnancy, vaginal tearing, awkward moments that don't feel soft or funny but instead embarrassing, lies, judgement based on how you age, loss of love with the only one willing to give you affection/intimacy, nasty in-laws, your partner using porn.
But nothing will replace the void of wanting someone to share your life with, there is no cure for it. The pain only dulls

Anonymous 133498

>>133489
Surely a sign of mental well-being

Anonymous 133507

>>133482
idk if this pov will help you since I'm in a different moment of life but, having a pet is indeed a nice way to cope with loneliness.
I got dumped couple years ago through phonecall. It really hurted me since it was a long distance relationship so intimacy was a rare thing and cute words were few of the things we used to share each other. Hurted even more knowing that I'm a really shy and introverted person, dating is a pain in the ass with my personality and my looks don't help either.
During that period of time, my cat got her sterilization so needed a lot of care. Passing so much time with her calmed my anguish of the sudden breakup and nowadays me and my cat are quite close, she likes sleep on my lap while I study or play games. Not every cat likes contact but if you are clingy enough with them during their early days, kittens end liking being hugged or getting pet unprompted.
Reading and exploring hobbies you didn't tried out before also helps a lot to cope with the sadness being alone for too long carries with.
Im sure youre going to find the affection you need sooner or later.
Hope I explained myself a little I'm ESL, I wish you the best.

Anonymous 133660

>>133482
I apologize if this becomes rambling and off-topic.

I've only experienced affection a few times in life and they were brief. There were short relationships that I entered into over the years, but they were devoid of affection and my attempts at it made me feel rejected and used. For a long time, I just acclimated to it. I forgot about my earliest experiences with romantic affection because it was so brief and happened when I was a teenager. It was easy to forget it had happened at all. My later experiences feeling so taken advantage of and rejected for wanting tenderness made it feel even more distant and hazy.

Last year, almost exactly, I was pulled into a whirlwind romance that I was unprepared to handle. The idea that I could be desirable has always been alien to me, but I was going to therapy and I was trying to build up my confidence. I didn't think love bombing was a real thing, but she told me she loved me very early into the relationship and I was stupid enough to think she meant it. In fact, I second guessed myself - was I taking advantage of her? Was I using someone vulnerable? I always do that because I think I'm this ugly, terrible monster and she was so beautiful and beautiful people don't take advantage of ugly monsters because they don't need to. It made me deepen my commitment. When she asked me to tell her I would never leave her and never abandon her, I told her. When she asked me to tell her I would love her forever, I did. Every time I told her, I believed it and somehow I convinced myself that it went both ways - if I would never abandon her, she would never abandon me. I caved the moment I felt like I was really being loved. I realize now she was just using me to get over her last relationship. I was very stupid and naive and pathetic.

It still upsets me to think about what I did and what I accepted for her. I comforted her when things were hard for her. I listened to her when she needed someone to talk to, even when I needed someone to talk to. I endured her horrible, mean parents who always found something to find me unworthy over. I put up with her friends who said hurtful things about me behind my back, things she knew I was insecure about. I let her into my home and I let her sleep in my bed. I made myself small for her because she wanted to feel like she had power over something and I wanted her to stop fPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Anonymous 133653[Reply]

I was raped yesterday

Anonymous 133654

I'm sorry.

Anonymous 133657

>>133653
Bro…

Anonymous 133658

What happened? Who did it? Did you report it?

Anonymous 133659

Let's rape them back


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Vent thread Anonymous 132763[Reply]

Again we need to vent
Previous Thread >>>/feels/129800
291 posts and 30 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133650

16364r3r5742).jpg

I finally got what I always wanted, I finally weigh 99 pounds but I feel so empty inside. Like nothing changed. I still hate my body when I look at it in the mirror. I don't have a lot of excess skin like those morbidly obese people who become skinny but I have a little bit of it and it bothers me. I hope it goes away eventually. Mostly I hate my fat distribution now, my hands are skeletal and my collarbone sticks out so much but my legs, stomach and face are still fat. My family says I don't look fat at all anymore but they're just trying to be nice, maybe so I don't go back to being fat. I fucking know what I look like, I have eyes. I can see the fat all over my face and I can see the disgusting rolls on my stomach and sides whenever I'm not standing up. At least when I was fat everything looked proportionate. Now I feel like a disfigured monster. I know I'm being dramatic but I don't care I feel awful. I got bullied all my life for being fat and now that my bmi is exactly 18.5 (threshold between underweight and healthy) nobody gives a shit, I'm still ugly and the years of trauma can't be undone. It feels like it was all for nothing.

Anonymous 133651

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>>133650
Hi nona, I use to be kinda like this. Do you like working out or lifting weights? I got much happier with my body once I got some muscle. Also it helped me seperate my body perception from attractiveness and more towards ability and health. Sports or active games also helped. I think I have a similar body type to you where all my body fat distro goes towards my stomach and legs, and theyre still kinda big even when I'm skinny which is why I ask

Anonymous 133652

help.png

i can't stop thinking about my s/a abuser when i was a kid

i miss him, i can't stop thinking about him a single day without feeling that i lost someone long time ago.

I feel bad, why I can't be normal and feel hate against a child molester instead of loving him as if he were the unique person that gave me love when i needed it the most even if it was in a sick way?

I hope to be normal one day.
I can't stop drawing him, I can't stop jerking off thinking about this from time to time.

I know I'm disgusting, I know God will judge me the day my time comes.

I hate having C-PTSD and I hate how I built myself around that.
Not even the antipsychotics and the therapy helps.
And I'm always so afraid to be told I'm some kind of pedophile for romanticizing my abuse with the vent art I make that will never be posted anywhere.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 133655

in the midst of what feels like mental collapse. tried to reach out to my boyfriend, my mom, my brother, and my old therapist who lied and said she’d see me till i found another. they all won’t answer my calls or texts some of which where i’m practically pleading for help. even tried to get a new therapist who’s actually trained in the types of therapy someone with my disorder needs and she won’t accept my insurance. genuinely what is the point anymore nobody cares as much as they claim they do. i’m ready for this all to be over. i have no one and it all hurts too much

Anonymous 133656

>>133655
Dump your boyfriend. If he's not there for you then he's useless.


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Is S/A the only way? Anonymous 133444[Reply]

I've never been pretty (maybe I never will). Even my family made (and still) jokes abt that, and as a child I belived it even if it was just a joke, since growing up there was no boy even wanting me and other girls made fun of me and never took me seriously as a friend. Only one men has touched me and it was my grandma's husband, I still feel gross, if I was unloveable already, that made me a fucking monster. But I can't let that go, what if that's the only time I can feel desired and will never happen again? I'm scared, I try to be skinnier by fasting and exercise, I don't have a coventional style (since I like visual kei and alt things in general) but I try to look pretty with it, but still nothing happens, I need some nice man to touch me and feel everything is okay, but until then, I'll only have the image of a old man licking me, and I'll never be able to forget that until I feel real love.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133460

That old man was an inhuman monster. There are still good people out there; they are just much harder to find now.

Anonymous 133465

No, allowing yourself to be the victim of incestuous abuse will only make your life a trillion times worse at least. You should tell somebody about this especially if it happened while you were a child

Anonymous 133481

>>133465
Based on the fact she called him "her grandma's husband", instead of just "my grandpa", I'm assuming she isn't blood related to her abuser, which would mean it wasn't "incest" technically. But it might also be some language barrier thing, maybe her first language isn't english, and thus my interpretation is faulty, as it's based on subtleties in the phrasing of her statement. Or she said "my grandmas husband" as a way of coping, because confronting that he's her genuine, biological grandfather is too difficult for her.

Anonymous 133557

>>133481
Banging your in laws/step family is qualified as incest in some places where it's illegal though. And I doubt him seeing her as some sort of granddaughter wasn't part of the appeal for him

Anonymous 133647

The only way is to name and shame your abusers, post his picture


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Anonymous 133622[Reply]

I've never had friends in real life; all my friends are online, and I'm not close to them either.
My family has been making fun of me since I was a child, and I can't trust them.
I’ve just entered adulthood, and I don't think I’m going to have a good life.
Euthanasia is illegal in my country, and I’m too much of a coward to commit suicide.

I don't know how I ended up with a life like this since I'm not bad looking, neurodivergent, or anything like that

Anonymous 133625

do what you can

Anonymous 133626

It's not hard to be friendless, a lot of people are friendless in 2026. Usually they make do with family even if it's one or two relatives. As that doesn't seem to be the case for you there's not much else to do but gamble to be more open and vulnerable so you can find somebody to trust and get a close friend at some point.

Life will still feel like a drag in the meantime, but you know that's no real reason to end it.


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Anonymous 133377[Reply]

I feel pathetic.
I broke up with my gf of couple years earlier this year and tried dating guys, and found one who fits me well. We have same hobbies, get each others humor, always a gentleman, treats me well, he has a stable well paying job, is not weird pervert or gambling addict, plays lots of same games as me, and likes the type of music that i do. The only thing is that i don't find him attractive, i am gay and knew this before getting with him, but i wanted to be the one taken care of for once and not have to be the "top". I broke up with him couple months ago when i was sure that i cannot be with him despite him being exactly the partner i like. I still talk with him online and we watch anime often, neither of us have many friends around, he moved to the area couple months ago and hasn't found a local friend group yet. I only really talk and hang out with my best friend but she is crazy busy all the time and we only see each other like once or twice a month, which i appreciate greatly her making time for me. I went on a couple dates recently with a girl but we did not really get along well so we broke it off, she was the only person who held me in a very long time and i miss having physical contact. I told my friend that im gonna see the guy this weekend and she said that its a bad idea, and one of our friends that was with her told me i need to stop fucking around and seriously get myself in order. I know it is, but i am lonely and want to be wanted and i have someone trusted who i can see and spend time with. I know he won't do anything to me, he's harmless, but i feel disgusted at myself doing this. I felt so jaded and callous lately that i think im expressing that by doing problematic things and not caring that its wrong or hurtful to others or myself, i just want to feel something. I need to work on my career and get more out of the house but i need to feel alright before i can take on the world. I'm disgusting for using a good guy like him who truly cares about me but its this or spiraling mentally alone in my room.
I know the answer is simple, get a girl that loves you like he does, but the way i am right now, i do not have anything good to offer to a partner. I guess i could cook a bit, and be supportive and offer advice, but i don't have a stable job or could provide anything substantial. So even if i found a girl like me, i cannot do anything for her.
I don't know why i made this thread, i guess to vent. Please, if you have anPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
6 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133384

5301764-3094718215…

>>133383
I do know it will be hard work, and i know what the correct path is, i think i just wanted to vent my feelings so i came here to just get it out and well, not feel as lonely for the moment. I appreciate your replies

Anonymous 133387

>>133380
It's not just them. I get such bad vibes from you. Girl you sound like a parasite.

Other women aren't going to tolerate this nonsense so you go after the moids only to realize you don't like them and that you can't hide the fact that you're not willing to have sex with them forever. You want someone to do everything for you.

And then you turn around and cry because no one tolerates but you'll never do anything about these behaviors will you?

Anonymous 133388

>>133377
is this the nona that was dating a tif who didn't put out and trying to get them to detransition?

Anonymous 133409

Nona I have a question if you're still here.

Why didn't you just stay with him and have a platonic or open relationship? You said he moved to your area right? It sounds like he'd do a lot for you. You could still have someone that takes care of you while getting to go on dates and sleep with women.

I would look into it if you feel comfortable. There are a lot of relationships that function this way.

Anonymous 133447

The-Ghost-In-the-S…

>>133409
This is an interesting idea, i have not really considered this. I broke up with him because i want to be with a woman and fully dedicate myself to her. I respect him and enjoy spending time with him but he deserves someone who can be his everything. I know that if i stayed it would be an uncomfortable love and would nag me on the inside the whole time. I am slowly separating from him while still being amicable. I think we could be platonic friends who are just close without any issues of feelings getting caught up. When i told him i had a couple dates lines up he was genuinely happy for me, i am trying to help him get dates too


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any1 with psych ward experiences? Anonymous 133532[Reply]

Curious if anyone else has been to the psych ward/ mental hospital. TBH i don't know the difference. I guess some sort of admission to a mental place.

Right now i have stayed for 4 weeks and have 3 more to go. Life before is such a blur. It's so nice that we are kept busy nearly the entire day with all different sorts of therapy. And that there is always someone checking in and available to talk if you need it. I'm going to miss the other patients so much though. In our free time we sit in the common area together, each doing our own thing, but it's nice being together with other people. We play games and talk to eachother. It's very special to see normally depressed people open up and laugh so much. I feel sad for them that they struggle so much…
Anyway, though i really love my fellow patients I'm also aware of how much we are just in a bubble and influencing each other. Being around so many people with problems can't be good either. You are who you surround yourself with and stuff. For me I've been influenced seeing the other people's scars to fall back into old habits. I want to hurt myself and now I do because it seems so normal and it's a way to get attention from staff and for them to take you serious. I know that's my own responsibility but yeah. On one hand its so good but also damaging. I often hear people banging their heads against the wall. When I first came it was just 1 person but now it's 3… I have a strong feeling the others might have also been brought on that idea because of it.

I wish we could live together and just play games together and stuff. its different from having normal roommates because there is already an unspoken closeness knowing youre both struggling and in it together i guess. sometimes i talk to my old friends about things happening in the ward and they find it so shocking but tbh it's just normal and more like a funny story to me. but i guess thats stuff being normalized in my head…

anyway curious if anyone else might be in one rn or has any experiences they'd like to share
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133591

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I've never been but I drove there once and sat in the parking lot sobbing because I really needed help but I was scared of who I would have as a roommate and how I'd be treated if I got admitted. My friend just got sent back to the psych ward due to another suicide attempt, I've known her since 4th grade and this is her 3rd suicide attempt in her life (one in high school where she took a bunch of pills and drank bleach, one in college where she slit her wrists, and this most recent one where she overdosed on pills again). Last month she was in the psych ward too due to having a psychotic break, she thought she committed a cybercrime and threw her laptop and phone out her car window and was just driving all over the state. She is a people pleaser like me and now I feel like whenever I would communicate with her she'd be masking. We were emailing back and forth between her two psych ward stays and she seemed happy and motivated to put her life back together. I never asked her how her psych ward stays were, she always referred to it as "the looney bin" as a joke and showed me her grippy socks. I don't feel like I've ever been a good friend to her. I don't know when she's going to make it out this time and how to support her when she does. I'm so scared for her. She was still having paranoid delusions before she tried to kill herself again. Idk how we can ever trust that she won't try to kill herself after all this

Anonymous 133592

>>133532
What got you admitted nona? It's comforting to know that it's not a scary experience and you feel a sense of community with the other people there and you get lots of therapy. Truly I think my friend needs to stay at an inpatient facility for at least 7 weeks like you if not a few months, and then hopefully get on disability afterwards. I'm remembering now that she told me she felt like she didn't need her antidepressants at all while she'd been unemployed the past couple years. And then the second she accepted an offer for a new job last month all these problems started happening.

Anonymous 133596

>>133532
I was in a psyche ward for 4 months. I met a lot of nice people there. That was definitely the most helpful part in recovering, socializing with all the other patients during our free time. Most of the actual "program" though (group therapy, one-on-one therapy with the psychiatrist, physical therapy, art therapy, workshops, city outings, etc etc) didn't really accomplish much though.

Anonymous 133601

>>133591
>I don't feel like I've ever been a good friend to her
im sorry to hear you feeling like this. I hope you know you are not responsible for how she feels!! I wish it were that easy, I also don't like seeing my friends having problems- but it's their battle to fight at the end of the day.

>how to support her when she does
Honestly ask her if u can do anything! Say u are available if she wants some distractions and do something fun together. Nothing major, maybe a game, a walk, drawing, etc… Any hobbies she's into? and nona it sounds like you're struggling a lot too. I hope you also take care of yourself and your feelings!! If it get's to much (with her) it's totally okay to take a step back and give yourself some space!


>Idk how we can ever trust that she won't try to kill herself after all this
u can't. im sorry but being in the psych ward has also taught me how some people are just hopeless. I do believe everyone can get better- but they have to want it. And unfortunately people who are suicidal do not want that. Your friend can get better but it will require intense treatment- not this short visit which is only meant for while she's in active crisis. I'm talking a LONG admission. especially delusions and psychosis are very very difficult to learn to live with.
The issue there isn't (and this has to do with that some people are hopeless) always that help available, or financially possible. and again, people can only be helped if they WANT to be helped. Nd your friend does not seem like she's in that state of mind right now.

Anyway, I can tell it's taking a toll on you so pls take care of yourself!! wishing you both lots of strength

Anonymous 133602

>>133592
My ward has space for crisis patients (short visits to get you stable enough to be on your own) and longer admissions for treatment/stabilization or for observation/diagnosing.

I was first there as crisis patient bc i was really suicidal. We looked at options because i was really struggling with it, and they offered me a longer admission. A month later I came back and I'm here in the group of observation/diagnostics- which is shorter in comparison to the first group. I agree with you, i think for most people they will need much more time to really stabilize. it is normal in my ward to stay for 4-5 months if you're in the first group. In the ward next to us it is between 6-9 months. In the ward next to it is for very complex patients a year to a year and a half is normal. Keep in mind this is for very intense stuff though. For example someone is there right now after being a victim of sex trafficking.

So it all really differs from what your needs are/what responsibility you are able to have. Obviously it also really depends on the ward- like im sure it could also be a scary experience. and its hard work participating each day. i wish your friend goodluck!!


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How do I overcome? Anonymous 133514[Reply]

I work part time, my boyfriend works full time. He works 8-5:30 everyday, I work anywheres from 7 and 8am - 3pm, 3pm-7pm, or even 12pm-6pm.
I am constantly afraid that I am going to be cheated on or he is going to watch porn. We have conversations about it, it’s never argumentative, and he has been profusely reassuring me.

I am simply just not sure I can shake that feeling in my stomach and chest entirely. It’s truly impacting my ability to function at work and my inability to be away from him while he is home alone.
Do I put something on his phone to monitor his browsing?? What conversation can I have to make this stop happening??

I’m at a loss, caused by my own insecurity.
I do not know what to do
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 133516

You're going to push yourself further into your head and believe he's cheating when he isn't, probably. To the point it makes you unbearable to be around. If he's reassured you, why don't you trust him? I'm not doubting you. You need to ask yourself honestly why. Is there anything that's remotely justified in making you feel like this?
>Do I put something on his phone to monitor his browsing??
Look, if he was that bothered he'd probably get a second phone or something for his cheating. You can never truly control or predict other people.
>What conversation can I have to make this stop happening??
Not TOO many of them, that's for sure. The paranoia might set him off tilt and make him believe you'll never have faith in him, causing other problems.
Like >>133515 asked, have you been wronged already before? Are you insecure about your looks or body? What's really going on. If it's a disorder you can be medicated for that.

Anonymous 133518

I once dated someone who was extremely paranoid that I would cheat to the point of making me remove friends from my contacts and the funny part is that they ended up cheating, next time someone acts paranoid about me cheating I'll dump them instantly, after experience that I haven't even felt like dating again

Anonymous 133522

david lynch.png

>>133518
Excessive paranoia about a given topic is often like that, projection. They know they do these things, have these vices, and thus assume everybody else does as well. They project their own guilt onto others.

Anonymous 133583

>>133514
if you are consistently paranoid about being cheated on it means you have low self-esteem. you need to increase your self-esteem either with some mental exercises or physical..

Anonymous 133589

>>133514
All males are porn cucks. They love being emasculated by other men.


tired Looks perfect Anonymous 133575[Reply]

I look beautiful, but for 2026 lately there are a lot of anxieties in my life, like having to choose suitable clothes or beautiful makeup. I am mentally exhausted and stressed, confused about the appearance I want and how my friends always dress beautifully and use good makeup, also on social media, so I have to always look as perfect as possible so that I am not outdone by my friends and look perfect on social media you know times have changed

Anonymous 133584

r u stupid

Anonymous 133587

You're too young to be here.

Anonymous 133588

Also, that song sucks.


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