there’s a couple of you i owe an apology to.

hope you're okay with ending things like that. as time goes on I just feel like I deserve better. I know you're lonely, probably lovelier than me. what did you even want? what did you achieve? because if you're sad that I'm not close enough to you how does blocking me help you? you'll just make me even more distant. won't your own actions just make you feel even worse with that logic?

>>122354
Yes, it is very sad. He was great in many ways, but he wasn't able to love me in the way that I needed. We dated for six months and it was my first relationship so I am very disappointed that it didn't work out.

>>122370
kudos to you for having the confidence to leave a relationship you're dissatisfied with

I wanted to be more sympathetic, like you deserved it or something. Like you deserved to be treated with kids' gloves, you're fucking 30. A 30 year old, drugged out waste more interested in playing outlaw, fucking up running a meth lab than you are helping yourself. You let me get hurt again, and again, and you made me cry for daring to have reservations. For rejecting hospitality, not wanting to sleep in a shack full of rats 3 miles outside of city limits, right after I just watched you hit the pipe.

I'm glad you're in jail. I'm glad all it took to break this off was blocking the jail's number, and everyone else's. I'm sick of having my strings tugged by someone who can talk sweet and nothing but. The more I look back, the more manipulative you seem, myopic as it may be. and if it took a murder investigation? I don't care. People other than you have to get on with their lives, and if you want to keep touting being a broken shell, then by all means, keep doing so. You'll just keep cycling through people because they will all, eventually, see you for what you are, a cheap facade.

I'm stupid for losing my first kiss to you, for thinking you just needed help, and for feeling guilty when it failed. I should have recognized that you didn't want it in the first place.

Never contact me again. I need someone who cares for more than just what they see in the mirror, or a pipe.

TOTAL MOID DEATH!!!!
TMD TMD TMD

now that i have a bf and 1 guy friend who are very normal humans (trust me on this nonas), it makes me hate all other men even more!!! i love hating men i love hating men :3 Total female domination!!!!!

>>122352
>now that i have a bf and 1 guy friend who are very normal humans (trust me on this nonas)
yup
dats what made me start hateposting on men

>>122352
>i hate men!!1!
>i'll still keep dating and fucking them tho cause this one is different!!
fake misandrists stfu challenge

>>122365
sybau

>>122307
you're making a pretty good case
just randomly spent the weekend learning about domestic animals and owner psychology and I would absolutely appreciate a male who can appreciate and enjoy the process of research

>>122314
It's better if you think he's a cute guy.

>>122315
Ehh. My personal opinion is if you wank to something and feel good afterwards and feel soulful and wholesome it's healthy sexuality, and if you wank to something and you feel sort of shit and disgusted with yourself or like you didn't gain anything then it's a fetish

I sense for op's bf it's more fetish than healthy sexuality

>>122315
It's misogynistic, honestly. Perceiving your partner not as an equal, but as a servant who will do whatever you say. Maybe this is healthy sexuality on the part of a man, idk

Ask him to dress up as a maid for you. If he isn't willing to debase himself why should you?

Lots of ugly people have sex/relationships with other ugly people. Lower your standards?

>>122272
Did you even read what she said? This has nothing to do with her standards.

you can’t get a boyfriend before you improve yourself. even if you are “ugly”, guys can tell that you’re unconfident. is it possible that you want to get a boyfriend just to feel better about yourself? like, you want someone to love you because you can’t love yourself? that’s where the hard work starts. you have to find your self-confidence and the learn to enjoy who you are.

Having a boyfriend isn’t what it’s said to be even the ugliest men below your standards will cheat on you

Same here, I got bullied so much in middle/high school I can't look at myself anymore. I don't even want to be pretty, I just want to feel okay. the problem is that everything I try just feels wrong, wearing makeup, going to the gym, taking care of myself in general. I can't live like this

getting help is always a good idea. and there are more/other paths to explore careerwise, it doesn't have to be defence.

In any case, getting a diagnosis for schizophrenia this young is rare. You will probably be recommended to counselling, more appointments, and then medication with more counselling. But do seek help, don't push the problem aside, because it may get more severe.

You're able to get the help you need without a diagnosis, and it would be better to treat it early, recover, and then some years down the line be well enough to work for the military.

If the problem persists, maybe defence isn't your path. Keep your mind open - what is it about defence that you are so interested in? Look for those things in other career fields…

can't you just tell your doctor your symptoms? just be like "yeah i hear voices sometimes and also i think i am the lizard queen" or whatever. they'll probably just refer you to a specialist

You don't want antipsychotics, they're not good for the brain

>>122358
>schizophrenia
>defense sector
Honestly, being trans is probably going to be a bigger barrier to working in your preferred field in the coming years.
>symptoms of auditory and visual hallucinations, paranoia, and delusions
The fact that you're capable of recognizing them as such means that you do not have a significant disorder. Just keep quiet about it and let it be someone else's problem if it ever gets bad enough that you can't live with it (unlikely). Many people live happy/normal lives with these minor symptoms.
If you are high-iq enough, you can also try self-medicating if it bothers you.

>>122363
>>122358
Also, I forgot to mention, you can just fly to a different country for healthcare as well.

>ashwaghandha is the only thing reviving my sex drive, and it helps with my anxiety
>it gives me acne
Fuck

>>122238
Yes like not pretty enough to date but just doable kind of thing

>>122331
did you try getting a boyfriend?

I really really wish I was born a guy but I have no one to talk to about it. I'm not gonna transition but I wish I could vent about my feelings to someone. Internet spaces are full of fujoshis and irl I do not know anyone who would really understand. Guys turn me off but being with a girl just doesn't bring the relationship dynamic I would want, it just hammers in the fact that I'm in a female body.

I wish I didn't have to spend the rest of my life being told the things I've said back to me as if someone else came up with them

OP here, this is what I look like

>>122337
i agree ^^ theyre just so cute :3

this is his dad btw

I prefer asian guys

>>122343
kuzzy kuz

If I were you I would delete the post and resend without the guys´ picture. But answering your actual question I feel like just try to see what common friends you have and slowly start trying to arrange hang outs that also include him. If you have none, then you have to "stalk" him a bit and see what common interests you share that you can bring up in a conversation with him randomly and effortlessly (without making it too specific or weird)

ok lee goldson soyfags

>>122025
Nona no

>>122025
for me it took time. lots of time, everyday i woke up mourning him and crying over the fact i'd never see him again, but gradually, you get better at handling these emotions. you slowly lose your attachment towards him, and it’s not that the memories fully disappear- they just stop hurting as much. you’ll remember the giggles, the warmth, even the inside jokes, but they’ll feel distant. like a song you used to love but don’t play anymore.
every time you want to reach out, remind yourself why you left. people don’t change overnight. the softness you miss was real, but so was the harm. and missing someone doesn’t mean they’re meant to return. it just means you’re healing.
let yourself grieve, but protect your peace. you deserve to move forward, even if it’s slow.
i promise you things will get easier with time

>>122202
Not op
i should have never left my bf in the first place, i did check out of the relationship for a long time and i self reflected on it and my reason why due to boredom and missing the spark feeling, i thought relationships were all about the firework and spark but i never met anyone like him anymore he was the only guy who told me that he chooses me everyday even when things get hard. This was a month ago and i told him to leave me alone out of my own anger during our last phonecall, recently he sent me a mail that mentioned that he can't live in area at all since every time he drives it reminds him of our memories so he literally enlisted himself in the navy. I just feel so bad, i made a mistake and i want him so bad but i just have a feeling that if i break the silence and reach out he may not want me anymore

>>122205
sorry for the yapfest
well, first, you'd need to ask yourself if your boredom is going to become a problem again. i don't know you or your bf or the relationship you've had together, so this is something you need to mainly figure out yourself. i cannot stress this enough, figure out your own shit before getting back or into a relationship.
second, it's obvious he still cares IN some way (whatever it may be) and probably still likes you, hell he's even enlisting in the fuckin navy because he's probably broken up over you. don't be afraid to break the silence, believe me haha. i've missed my chance when i could've opened up and talked to my boyfriend after our break up, and genuinely from the bottom of my heart i regret it deeply. i could've mended our relationship, got closure or even said a goodbye.

i can't promise you anything, but please talk to him before he leaves, genuinely. you may not get the outcome you want, but atleast you'll both have closure, and potentially in the future can rekindle that spark.
and, if it helps; open up to him about your feelings if you'd like, tell him what really happened and why you lashed out, just be honest, okay?

talk like the other nona said with that moid

but do not expect anything from a man again

learn a strategy game and try to develop better long term thinking skills.

"what if I say x? he probably will say Y."

Think like an engineer. Think about the worst consequence and prepare for the worst.

If the best happens, it just happens. You prepared yourself for it and conquered, you lost battles but won a war.