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25+ Thread Anonymous 14473

I'm curious as to how many "older" anons are on crystal cafe.

Anonymous 14484

just turned 25 two days ago, thanks for making me realize I'm old now.

Anonymous 14486

Anonymous 14489

I am 25 but I don't feel old at all despite saying I feel old. I guess I say that because people expect you to change when you hit 25, but I still feel like I am 20 or so.

Anonymous 14510

I'm in this category and it's one of the main reasons why I don't bother with the friend finder thread. Everyone is so young and seem to have cut off ages at 26. ;_;

Anonymous 14511

Theres a few older anons in the friend finder threads, not on this site for horrible advertisement locations but on lolcow there's more adults instead of children.

Anonymous 14513

33 here, mentally 27 tho.

Anonymous 14517

I'm 27. I don't feel feel it or look it but it can be hard to get people to take me seriously as a result.

I'm actually excited to be old one day. I wanna be like the ladies on advanced style <3

Anonymous 14529

I am 25. Just like >>14489 I feel pretty similar to 21 or so. I think I had my shit together better back then almost.

Did anyone else feel a kind of panicked at hitting 25? I'm scared I still haven't accomplished anything and have just worked lowly jobs and survived.

Anonymous 14530

Early thirties. Feel like in my 70s.

Anonymous 14541


I'm 29, but I feel like I'm about 20 or so. I think I might be mentally retarded.

Anonymous 14593

"but age is just a number, guise"/s

Part of me loves being in my mid 20's, it just sucks because people on the Internet seem to think you're ancient, which is the opposite of the real world REALLY thinks in most cases.

Anonymous 14594

I like to think of it this way - if I dropped dead tomorrow would everyone say "oh no she died so young!" If the answer is yes, then you're still young

Anonymous 14606

That's only if you die at that age.

Anonymous 14652

I turned 29 recently. I hate living.

Anonymous 14654


My parents didn't teach me any life skills and my family moved around constantly, thus interrupting my upward spiral of socialization. Mentally and emotionally, I feel like I'm about 15 years behind the curve.

Anonymous 14664

Good stance to take tbh, I hear that about people in their 50s so I'll be right for a few decades more at least.

Anyway I am 26 and the only difference between now and when I was 20 is that now I'm hyper aware of people suddenly considering me old. I think they're wrong but there's not much I can do except accept it and live my best (single and childless) life.

Anonymous 14678

It's kinda depressing that I'm officially an "older" person to the majority of the internet at the ripe "old" age of 25. I don't feel any different than I did at 18, other than the fact that I've wised up a lot and don't act quite as stupid. But I still feel like the exact same person, in the same young body, and I don't really look that much different either (pictorial evidence proves this). So the fact that I'm considered an ancient old bat to everyone younger than me feels odd. 25 isn't old, and neither is 35. You're not old until you're 60, folks.

Anonymous 14680

Yuh I turned 26 recently. Part of "getting old," is realizing that both sides of age stereotypes are fucking stupid.
You still feel mentally wherever you are no matter how many more "adult" responsibilities you end up with, and it's mostly about perspective. Which is why people tend to admire old (actually old, senior citizen level) people who still have a passion for life because they realize that being old just means you lived through more shit, and to have a decently adjusted attitude towards aging.

I didn't mean to turn this into a rant but generally, there are going to be more "old" people on the internet, we grew up with it too ya silly kids.

Anonymous 14726

I'm 28.
I used to feel like a childish loser because it took me a few more years than it should to finish university. Being surrounded by really young people who seem to be so much more ahead in life really makes you feel old.
Now that I got a great job I feel a lot better about my age.

Anonymous 16023

I'm 28. I've started to not be able to relate as well with my early-20s coworkers. I also gave myself a drastic hairstyle change, I think partially in an attempt to look younger. I live by a university and I often get asked if I'm a student. I'm small and have a round face so people usually think I'm younger than I am.

I want to be a cute hip mom but I don't know if that will happen.

Anonymous 16028

27. I'm happy to see this thread – sometimes I feel weird being on image boards because I assume everyone else is a teenager…

Anonymous 27951


I've been getting hit with emotions about this particularly hard lately. I woke up a few mornings ago and for some reason my body was screaming for sex harder than it has in a long time, I don't have much of a sex drive really. The next day I had these intrusive thoughts about wanting children all day like never before, who knows where this came from but it appeared from nowhere. It's the same feeling you might get while looking at baby clothes or shoes except it's happening while I sit here petting my cat and sitting on the computer.

I want to be okay with how I'm in my late 20s but damn I almost feel regret that I am not settled down yet. When I was 21 I had a roommate who was 32.. she gave me this advice that I needed to find a guy to spend the rest of my life with asap because "every guy I meet at this age either has children or is a loser". I'm scared that will be me in 6 years(though her standards were too high, 32 or not, she expected too much but that's her choice).

I know that I am not hopeless and am pretty enough to make this happen with some effort, I know I am the same person as I've always been and that my appearance hasn't faded much, but after getting called a future spinster/wine aunt on CC I've been growing terrified of being this.

Anonymous 27986


Join the rising tide of polyamory. We slay and men can't keep up. Soon there won't be enough good ones to go around, so we're gonna either have to go poly, go lez, or go it alone.

Anonymous 27988

No thanks being a cuck doesn't sound very appealing

Anonymous 28012

No thanks.

Anonymous 28029

my idea is that people go poly because they want to fuck other people but don't have the balls to break up with their partner, so they come up with this bullshit that they can "love more than one person at the same time" uwu
i would sage but i want to know what you will say because you probably don't feel this way and i've never asked a "polyamorous" person how they feel.

Anonymous 28032

Also this seemed like a rising tide that died down. People don't talk much about it anymore.

Not judging but it doesn't seem like the ideal situation when you're wanting to settle down and have a family. It seems more of a carefree early 20s experiment that ends up with someone getting their feelings hurt.

Anonymous 28033


Cuckold/cuckquean relationships fetishize humiliation. I think that's pretty icky, and I find it morally questionable. There is a huge difference between your partner having sex with someone else with your permission, and your partner having sex with someone else with the specific intent of bringing you down emotionally. If you feel that non-monogamy is inherently humiliating, what that communicates to me is that you feel you know what's good for others better than they do. I don't like BDSM, I would feel humiliated wearing a ballgag for example. But I believe others who play that way and say they don't feel humiliated. "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent," is something I heard when I was very little and it's always stuck with me and I believe it very strongly.


To each their own, as long as you don't judge.


We're a year and a few short weeks from the 2020s; if I wanted to have sex with lots of different people it's not difficult to do and doesn't really take much bravery in this day and age. I do find that different people offer different things sexually and I'm not ashamed to enjoy that. I don't take sex casually, flippantly, and I consider it a serious bond between people. I have never had a one night stand, never slept with someone on the first date, and I never allow someone to have sex with me if I believe that's all they want from me.

I do believe you can love more than one person at the same time. My concept of love isn't bound to exclusivity; no other form of love in my life has that quality so I don't see any reason why romantic love should be that way. I don't believe in soul mates, I believe that love is formed through time spent together and compatibility and I don't think there's any reason that can't happen with more than one person. If you're genuinely curious I'm happy to answer any other specific questions you may have.

Anonymous 28035

Screen Shot 2018-1…


Looks like you posted this just as I was posting my other long post. I don't think that it's a dying trend; if you have academic access read pic related. Over 1 in 5 Americans between the ages of 18 and 65 (this is from two samples of roughly 4k people each) indicated in 2017 that they have some experience with consensual non-monogamy. I can't prove it, but I suspect that number will grow as it becomes more accepted. Searches and public interest in it is skyrocketing based on internet searches.

I think there's definitely risk for heartbreak, and raising children would function differently than the traditional monogamous heterosexual model. But those relationships aren't exactly peachy considering divorce rates (which don't include bad marriages that people refuse to leave) and while the potential for disaster is there, I don't see that as being any different than monogamy.

Certainly people in their 20s will be more likely to try it; younger people have always been more open to challenging social norms. I see being poly very much like being gay in the 50s and 60s; people thought it was a sickness or something that "wasn't real love" and was untenable as a family model and something that was a very rare instance. It turns out it's way more common, way more workable as a family unit, and just as real as heterosexual relationships. I was a little flip when I said women are doing so great and there are fewer and fewer good men, but I'm somewhat serious. We're evolving socially, and with more and more women being high achievers and more and more men being left behind, I feel like our options really are going to narrow down to 1) be alone (this would be more humiliating to me than sharing a man) 2) be with someone who I'm not excited to be with (which, why bother?) or 3) share a man I'm excited about with another woman or women with whom I can form a meaningful interpersonal bond and rely on as a part of my family and that I can love for the rest of my life.

Anonymous 28037

>But those relationships aren't exactly peachy considering divorce rates (which don't include bad marriages that people refuse to leave)

Fair point. It reminds me of what people said about gay marriage killing the meaning/sanctity of marriage, it has been dead for decades now.

> We're evolving socially, and with more and more women being high achievers and more and more men being left behind

This seems like the other persective of "20% of men are getting with 85% of women" stuff posted on /r9k/. But it makes sense, since women simply put more effort into their appearance on average.

Still, I would prefer my own bf compared to being a member of a harem. I hope that it never comes to that.

Anonymous 28039

>This seems like the other persective of "20% of men are getting with 85% of women" stuff posted on /r9k/.

What the r9k crowd fails to realize is that the distribution of "quality" in guys is not a normal bell curve. 20% of the men get 85% of the women because the gap between a top 20% guy and a top 30% guy is HUGE. I'm making these numbers up off the top of my head but you get the point. We work harder than they do; why should be settle?

>Still, I would prefer my own bf compared to being a member of a harem. I hope that it never comes to that.

Let me be clear; I am not saying I would rather share a high quality man than have one to myself. I'm saying that I would rather share a high quality man than have an average one to myself. That would vary somewhat depending on how quality the guy is, how well I connect with the other woman or women, and how many women. I would be 100% fine sharing a guy with one or even two women (for a good enough guy) but I don't want to be a face in a crowd. I think you can have romantic love for more than one person, but that doesn't mean it's limitless. You can have more than one close friend, it doesn't mean you can have 100 people and truly be close to all of them (or 10 for that matter).

Anonymous 28040

>Fetishing this hard
C'mon, anon, you think this is anything at all but you projecting?Throughout history there have been a generation or two where in some nation or region working-class women were more stable and out-earned working-class men. It is always a side-effect or economic upheaval and it never, ever lasts. Indeed, it is usually followed by a much more "traditional" phase marked by a strong uptick in SAHMs.
The young girls of today? I bet that they end up with more SAHMs than doctors

Anonymous 28041

>Believing the Pareto principle applies to people
Are you a guy?

Anonymous 28044


What are your standards for high tier men? What constitutes average? This all seems very unclear since people have varying tastes.
And what of women who prefer men you consider "average" or below? Where do they fit in your ideal poly world?
Not against polyamory btw, no matter what the gender ratio or sexuality involved. It seems like (although not for me) it could be cute and fulfilling if everyone consents and is emotionally mature. I just don't think it will come down to a chad-harem world lmao.

Anonymous 28045


That's entirely possible. I think this economic and social upheaval is unique, but I suppose people throughout history have thought their era of history was unique. But I really do believe the industrial revolution changed everything; every revolution prior to that returned to a state where manual labor was the backbone of the economy, and it no longer is.

I should add that I don't think poly will become the norm, just dramatically more common.


I had to look up the Pareto principle. Like I said, I don't think it'll become the norm. But do you really not think that the top 10-20% of guys are WAY better than the rest? I'm not proud of it, but the majority of men are invisible to me romantically. Maybe I'm overly picky. I don't claim that my perspective is "right," only that it will become more common. And I think a lot more women think the way I do than would openly admit it (which admittedly may be "projection").

>Are you a guy?

I'm endorsing a system that would leave the majority of men without romantic or sexual partners. What do you think?

>What are your standards for high tier men?

High income and/or professionally prestigious. Strong moral character, kind, intelligent, social/popular. Gets along well with his family, likes kids and animals. Conventionally attractive, preferably engages in organized competition and likes to spend time outside. Cares about the well being of others.

>What constitutes average? This all seems very unclear since people have varying tastes.

I think that most women like some combination of what I listed above, plus a few other traits that vary a lot from woman to woman (like having a certain hobby that they share).

>And what of women who prefer men you consider "average" or below?

I've noticed that people who prefer an unconventional body type or personality type tend to also not be conventionally attractive, which suggests to me that those niche preferences are a cope. Of course that could be a cope to feel less cynical sooo…

>your ideal poly world?

To reiterate, I don't consider my interest in this "ideal" or "better" than what works for anyone else. I just think that it will become more common in the next decade or two.

>It seems like (although not for me) it could be cute and fulfilling if everyone consents and is emotionally mature. I just don't think it will come down to a chad-harem world lmao.

I agree. To be clear, I think emotional maturity and honest dedication to communication and commitment are also part of what constitutes being a "high tier man." Brad Pitt is high tier; Mr. Big from Sex and the City is not. I don't envision "chad harems" and I think that kind of chad/stacy internet lingo is mostly used by men who refuse to take accountability for themselves.

I think this is a really interesting discussion and I'm glad everyone has been really nice and is just asking genuine curious questions. Would anyone be interested in a separate thread about this? I want to make sure we stay on topic, and while my views on this have definitely evolved throughout my 20s, I'm not sure that this discussion is 100% what OP was asking about. But if nobody has a problem I'm happy staying here too.

Anonymous 28055

As was mentioned earlier, you need to back waaaaaay up and convince me that the men you consider top 10% match my top 10%, let alone overall, and maybe then we can talk about my cousin who only dates long-haired blonde guitarists in rock bands, so she’s been financially supporting a series of semi-literate apes for her entire allegedly adult life. She wouldn’t touch a banker in a tailored suit with a baby wipe.

Anonymous 28056

>a system that would leave the majority of men without partners
Yeah. Exactly. You sound like a LARPer from arcanine pretendingbto be what the claim all women are

Anonymous 28058


Agree, I'm >>28044 and that's the main issue I had (hence I'm posting men I find personally cute). Of course anon accuses us of "coping" so that's probably what her answer will be…even if our taste has always been unconventional. I'd appreciate if she'd post the objectively attractive man.
Although I do agree on most women wanting someone kind and caring, that's so bare minimum that I'm sure men of many different backgrounds and looks could fit it lmao.

Also, >>28045 we do have a non-monogamy thread >>>/feels/15326

Anonymous 28059

>High income and/or professionally prestigious. Strong moral character, kind, intelligent, social/popular. Gets along well with his family, likes kids and animals. Conventionally attractive, preferably engages in organized competition and likes to spend time outside. Cares about the well being of others.

Oh, I have no expectations to get somebody this perfect. I'm mediocre-averagish myself.

Best I got a date with was a 6'4 nerdish lanklet guy who was pretty athletic and played some videogames. Cute in the face and nice body imo. He was perfect for me but not quite the champion you're describing.

Anonymous 28062


I don't think everyone's 10% needs to match perfectly up. It would if I were claiming that poly is going to replace mono in the future, but I never claimed that. I've made the point repeatedly in this thread that I think it will continue to rise in popularity but not replace monogamy. I do think that most peoples' top 10% however have a few common characteristics including some aspect of being conventionally attractive, but that's a whole other discussion. Also, we're not a monolith; some women might go for the long hair rocker dude. Some women might go for a banker. In a vast society you're going to have all types. The girls who are into musicians will group together. The girls who are into banker types will group together. There's no hard 100% everybody loves him type guy, but there are guys like that within every subdivision of sub cultures and interests imaginable.


I didn't accuse anyone of coping; I fully acknowledge that my inability to believe that other girls find these guys attractive may be my own cynicism. What I said was that people with niche or unconventional attractions often have unconventionally attractive appearances. I won't ask you to describe what you look like, but based on the fact that you posted pictures of unconventionally attractive guys my guess is that you're not conventionally attractive… and that's OK!!!

Yes, kindness and caring should be bare minimums, but we have a whole long thread over at /feels/ right now asking if boys even have feelings so I don't think it's a given.

And, thank you for the link, I'll check that thread out. More to the point of this thread, to try to loop this whole talk back in and keep on topic, all of this whole perspective I've been describing definitely didn't really hit until I was in my mid to late 20s. I don't really consider this a change in sexual preference, more of a change in outlook. Has anyone else here experienced anything like that as they age?

Anonymous 28063


Sorry for possible OT but is this really how people over 25 think? Do most people really categorize and rate other people as "high tier men" or 10% men and care about things like high income, status and conventional attractiveness?

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts and internet comments with this viewpoint written by both women and men and for some reason, it has turned me cynical and kind of disenchanted to find out that older adults coldly assess each other like that. This is going to sound painfully naive but I've always thought the world worked differently, more naturally. Or am I just too young (under 25) to get it?

Anonymous 28064

You're either super autistic, male, or the unfortunate combination of both.

Anonymous 28065

No, this type of thinking is just a reskin of redpill principles that don't really align with reality. I won't say that no adult women think this way, but the ones that do are sure sad akin to their male counterparts.

Anonymous 28067

Well there is some truth to it. Prehistorically only 40% of males have reproduced while 80% of females have.

Anonymous 28068

Hmm, well it is just one poster ITT.

But yeah it's true, especially when you hit your 30s, you start thinking far more strategically about hooking up because suddenly there's not an infinite amount of time.

I like conventional attractiveness to some extent, it's kind of just how my instincts swing. I am not pretty enough to expect some kind of model but there are limits. As far as income and status go I don't talk like that because it feels pompous.

You can bet it's something I would consider about somebody though. I'm not dating a stoner lsd burnout that talks about "opening a business someday" while sitting on his student debt and working in a headshop for minimum wage again. But back then I didn't care and found him so cool. It took my entire early 20s to stop wanting that.
I wouldn't even care if a potential mate worked retail so long as he had some kind of realistic plan that could support a family someday, not just some vague idea that he has no drive for. I don't need a "high income", would date a trade apprentice, specialized mechanic or military guy.

I'm not judging or looking down on guys that don't want a life like that, but we're not compatable.

Anonymous 28072

26 year old here and I don't.

Anonymous 28079

Men judge women pretty harshly too, I don't think age matters when it comes to that. As I got older though (I'm 27) I do have qualifications that involve being able to provide for a family and not being a pervert or weirdo, idk if that's really harsh or cold though.

Anonymous 28193

In my experience women still in the dating market after 25 looking for a serious long-term relationship tend to value making a decent income way more than young people who aren't thinking as much about the reality of trying to live independently and are naive to just how much money it costs it keep your head above water. Especially if you want to have a family and live somewhere decent, it costs money to feed more mouths and live in a safe neighborhood.

Anonymous 28202

God, I was stupid when I was 19.
There was a boy my age; smart, tall, nice. He started community college at 16 then went to university at 18. When we were 19 he said he wanted a serious relationship, maybe marriage. All I could think was "he's a total bore. Never goes to parties, church every Sunday, some charity thing or another Saturday. Doesn't smoke, no weed, probably a virgin."
Moped outta there.
Now we're both 27.
None of the guitarists, artists, or writers I dated stuck. Now I mainly get hit on by married men in their 30's or losers in their 40's.
Him and his 22-year-old-wife-of-two-years?
In their vacation home in the USVI.
Young, ambitiou, and hard working is the man you want.
Like mom said

Anonymous 28210

I'm 27. My boy is 23. I have some definite life experience and practicality, but i'm playful as hell. We have fun amd make each other laugh. He appears to pay no mind at all to our age difference. And i don't know if i've ever felt my age. When younger, i felt older than everyone, now, i feel younger than my peers.

Anonymous 28215

I wish this was me. Lucky.

Anonymous 28216

Luck has nothing to do with it. Get your butt into shape and you too can experience this.

Anonymous 28230

True. I worked hard to become a decent human being. I like to think that hard work and a sense of humor contributed to my current state.

Anonymous 28235

I'm 28 and going back to school for lulprogramming meme degree. All of my future managers will probably be 25 and I'll be 30.

Anonymous 28240


It's cool, I'm going to be taking highschool level algebra courses at 26/27 at a community college. I'm gonna be 30 when I enter the field I plan on, with boys age 20-23 being in my position lol

Anonymous 28248

I'm 27, I wish I were a kid every day of my life, I want to go back :(

Anonymous 28253

>tfw 29 and it doesn't get better

Anonymous 28254

Lets build a time machine and get back to the 90's mid and late 90's were the primo years. I don't even want to be a younger hotter version of myself, I literally want to be a kid again and play with my gigapet and watch nickelodean while my parents fight in the background.

Anonymous 28259

I'm good on the whole being a kid front but I desperately wish I could be a teen again and have a do-over. I wish I had realized back then that I had way more going for me than I thought and I wish I'd gotten help early on rather than wasting my life away being a depressed NEET after dropping out of HS. you can be the little sister i always wanted though

Anonymous 28260

Ahh please don't say that.

Anonymous 28453


This but from elementary school. I had so many chances that I missed out on because my head was up my assignment and I was basically living in a fantasy world. But I would happily take a do-over from high school. I was (am) essentially autistic but it's just because I had a self-centered personality and I was really sheltered.

Anonymous 28456

You're all officially my little sisters now, sorry I don't make the rules.

Anonymous 28903

42 and I never really cared a whole lot about any of that stuff. Not gonna say success isn't attractive, but so is relatability and basic decency. I don't think I could feel good about being with a rich attractive guy unless he was also a kind person.

Anonymous 28939

What’s your story? How long have you been online? Have you been married? Have you had a lot of bfs? One night stands? Ever touched a really hot guy? Boytoys?

Anonymous 29189


same, and worried…and very alone

comfi age, cant wait till i get there…
ima have soooo many cats(^^)

Anonymous 31121

>When younger, i felt older than everyone, now, i feel younger than my peers.


Anonymous 31125

It's the best feel honestly. You're mature when your peers were fools, and youthful when they've gotten dreary.

Anonymous 31364

>27 now
>starting to get panic about finding a husband, agonizing over my face and wrinkle prevention
>still look very young and cute but feeling the urge to land a husband within the next 2 years
>don't even want kids though, just want a qt husband
The memes were real all along. Feels bad man. It seems like men have several more years to get their shit together and find a partner than women do. A guy at 30 is still considered marriageable, but a woman single at thirty sends guys running. It's not fair when we're held to the same standards now for self development, career goals, financial situation, etc. Then again that sentiment comes from the same geniuses who think 35 is "peak sexual market value" in males… Like nigga no that's old. 25 is when men peak. after that they get ugly, fat, and bald as shit. So maybe I just need to stop browsing imageboards because they're a biased pit of loathing and delusion.
I look about 8 years younger than I am, so I should just lie on tinder I guess. Guys who want a late-20s girl are looking for a mature motherly figure with her shit together (IE not me) and guys looking for girls like me (young-looking and still self-developing) aren't setting their search for 25+. It's not my fault men are delusional. IRL men trying to age-stereotype women are like anime creators who put 5'5" G-bust girls as weighing 85 lbs. They really have no fucking clue about reality and pull numbers from their ass.

Socially and financially I'm about five years behind where I should be. Oh well, at least I'm not a single mom or a drug addict.

Anonymous 31409


A very challenging realization I’ve come to: if I don’t sant kids but want a partner, I have to be with the type of guy who doesn’t want kids. That wouldn’t have bothered me five years ago but I’ve definitely started to notice that guys who don’t want kids have some pretty reliably consistent traits that I find unappealing. I’m also starting to feel like it’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s that everyone I knew who was obsessed with having kids was kind of an idiot and an adult child, so I didn’t want to be like that. But some of the most amazing women I know now have them and love them (but aren’t obsessed) and even my mentor in my career has a bunch and she kicks ass!

Anonymous 31443

The sexual market value is 35 because that's roughly when they are done with school and have been working for a couple years. A person with a house, car and good job is more desirable than a ramen eating, broke grad 25 year old student. Isn't cristian grey 26 or something, and he's the most desirable male character ever written.

Anonymous 39141

Who else is dealing with their parent's memory declining? My dad is almost 70 and can't even keep up with simple conversations because he forgets the topic or what was said 3 or so minutes ago. Making plans or going anywhere is even harder. ;_; I'm afraid I waited to long to get married and have kids and if I have kids now he won't even recognize his grandchildren.

Anonymous 39146


Sorry to hear, anon ;_; My mom isn’t at that stage yet, but she’s starting to show signa of alzheimers as well. It’s just rough when you see your parents age like that so rapidly.

Anonymous 39158

I honestly can't remember if I wrote >>28903 or not because it's been so long, but I think I might have, so I'm just gonna reply even though it's been months. Oh well. (Sorry to whoever wrote it if it wasn't me)

I've been online since about 2000. I am married. I actually met my husband in a chatroom about 2004ish but we didn't meet or get romantically involved til about 2010/2011. By that time I'd had 5 boyfriends and ~10 partners total, pretty much all before 25. I didn't really go on a lot of dates but had some brief relationships and several one night stands. I was fat and batshit crazy but I put myself out there (and just straight up put out), so I did get guys occasionally. This was how I learned why quality is better than quantity.

Sometime in my mid-20s I got sick of the kind of guys I was attracting. I figured my crap personality was a big part of the problem, and I decided to quit men until I could fix some of my issues. Ended up being voluntarily celibate for 4-5 years and then basically a bitter annoying femcel for another 4-5 years. Gradually continued fixing some of my anger problems and volatile mood bullshit thanks to therapy, informal self help, and very patient friends and family. I'm still sorta broken but a) so is my husband and b) we're both really into self improvement, so we help each other out a lot. I think being friends for a long time helped. Part of it was also timing. We were both ready to make the jump at the same time.

Hot guys are fun to get hugs from and sometimes fun to fuck unless you're too nervous to enjoy yourself. Then it feels like a wasted opportunity. I've kissed a couple of my hot guy friends. It's usually a mistake, but you should probably do it anyway if you get a chance.

Anonymous 39163

This is why it’s not good to have kids late. It’s a hell of a thing to have to see your old man go senile. I never saw them in their prime. When young people marry, their children get to see them grow with them.

Anonymous 39164

I'm lucky that even though my mom had me late so she's almost 70 that she's very adamant about staying active and healthy.
My grandma is 92 and still has her mind too.

But I'm still a nearly 30 year old that's been a NEET since graduating high school…

Anonymous 39167

I'm 29 and scared of turning 30

Anonymous 39168

I turned 30 this year. I was really anxious about it too and felt like my life was over. But it's been great, actually. I don't really care a lot about it anymore and feel much more "arrived".

Anonymous 39191

26 now. I was so worried about wasting my youth (especially when you're told that your peak years as a woman are your early twenties- thanks mom and dad), yet in retrospect I was always miserable up until around 23 - 25.

Anonymous 39293

I'm sorry to hear that. :(

We took my dad to a specialist and he doesn't have alzheimers, but his memory is rapidly declining. He's also always been against learning new technology and staying with the times (he still insists on using a flip phone and only recently got a car navigation system because my mom forced him to get it because he was getting lost too often.) which I think is related.

Anonymous 39294

>I don't really care a lot about it anymore and feel much more "arrived".

Different anon, but this is super inspiring. I'm turning 30 next year and I'm finally starting to feel like an "adult" mentally and lifestyle-wise.

Anonymous 39340

Don't worry you'll start worrying again once you're 39

Anonymous 39381

That sounds really difficult. I went to high school with a girl whose father was in his sixties at the time. She was actually a huge Stacy, but she talked a few times about hoe stressful and worried watching her father age and get closer to death.

It was hard enough watching my parents lose their parents, I can't imagine dealing with thst directly at such a young age.

Anonymous 39398


my father was in his 40s when he had me, my mom was a few years younger but she died. I agree having kids too late is not good and it sucks for me now seeing my father's health and his mental capacity go down the toilet rapidly, is not only depressing and emotionally hard but i can't take care of it by myself, its stressful and burdensome and the last 5 years or so have been a nightmare with too much pressure on me, most people at my age are struggling to take care of themselves, much less an old man going senile and with no other immediate family to help.

I turned 30 recently, it is very unlikely i will marry and have kids in the next 5 years but i already made my mind that if it doesn't happen by then then it will never happen because i don't want to have any kids beyond that age, its simply too late for me. I don't ever want to be in the same situation but reversed.

Not mentioning the total disconnect of being a teenager and your father being a 60 yr old. My world and my problems were totally alien. I am not that old and i already feel that way with teenagers now.

Anonymous 39404

my mum and dad where both 40 when they had me. its upsetting that theyre helth will deteriorate soon, but I dont have a problem relating to them at all. we also benefited from financial stability, which younger parents cant provide

I really dont think you should worry about having kids late. if youre mindful of your health, with modern medicine you can be fit and healthy for your kids well past 60. and relating to them is nothing to do with age and everything to do with openness and communication

Anonymous 39412

You give me inspiration to get married asap.

Anonymous 39785

I am 26 turning 27 in like two weeks.
I have a dead end wage job and no friends. Serve depression, suicidal ideology and anxiety.
At least I have the same boyfriend for the last 7 years. But he also suffers from serve depression and suicidal tendencies. Part of me wants to convince him to do a suicide pact but he keeps refusing it, when I joke about it. I will say two depress people living together makes it a whole lot worst then just living depressed alone.

Anonymous 39808

I hope I have similar experience, anon. here's to us both enjoying our 30s!

Anonymous 42780

I made it to 30 earlier this year, life sucks and is not worth it.

Anonymous 42796

28 here, virgin and never had a relationship.
My main problem is, that I am incapable of finding someone attractive. It is not that I am picky, It is that I look at people and just think: "Oh, another human…"
It does bother me a little, but otherwise my life is pretty okay. I have an okay job and a place where I can live and friends.
I strive in my life not for happiness, but for absents of unhappiness, because I am a pessimist and I think that humans can't feel happiness for a long period of time, without an equal downfall. So I try to have a solid 5/10 life.
Sounds probably totally idiotic. I am sorry.

Anonymous 42798

People tell me I look much younger though, in fact I feel and act like a younger person. Never had a problem with ageing like other women I know because it's useless, time-consuming and simply not efficient. Dunno how it will be when I turn 42 though lol.

Anonymous 46136

28 but ppl think i'm 17 (◔_◔)

Anonymous 46153

As 33 I now have a slight inkling to judge for superficial reasons, but I know it's a sort of fear that makes me want to be picky, so I ignore it.
When you get older you really have to decide long term, you start understanding that you'll eventually die some day and that picking a partner should be both a help/companion for you in old age but also someone you can see have positive attributes to pass on to kids.
But this doesn't mean that you aim for some asshole with a wallet or good looks, it means you date your best friend if possible. Someone you know and trust, someone that you'd have a good time with even if fiances were to get bad or the world goes to shit. But I understand women, especially if you don't have a good job themselves at a later age, who will try to catch a late bread winner.

Anonymous 46215

Maybe you're just gay.

Anonymous 46247

> it means you date your best friend if possible. Someone you know and trust, someone that you'd have a good time with even if fiances were to get bad or the world goes to shit

I’m so jealous of women who had a man like this in their lives. Never had a close male friend (only acquaintances I make small talk about blah topics like the weather with). Wish I could have a male best friend whom I’ve known for a long time, but that’s almost impossible now.

Anonymous 46248


Oops, meant to reply to >>46153

Anonymous 46260

Not even a childhood friend? You can also try to find one that shares your deeper interest, if superficial conversations are your issue then try to join a book club, an after hours philosophy, art/livedrawing or other creative class. That's where you find the right kinda conversation partners. Just make sure you don't think with your clit, don't expect to be immediately flushed with the vapours, be openminded and talk about what your heart desires. Be selfish and see who can be selfish with you. Who seems to talk natually to you, where conversation flows in a way you hardly notice it. That's when you get brainboners, and they are the best. It's never too late anon.

Anonymous 46360


Nah, not even a childhood friend. I especially wish I could have had a male childhood friend, but of course, that didn’t happen.

Book clubs tend to be all women (joined them in the past - not to meet guys, but because I was a huge reader back in the day). Not too into philosophy and not very creative at all. I’m a pretty boring accountant IRL.

Anonymous 46389

I'm 28

Anonymous 46416

Is accounting what interests you then? Or do you have other deeper you like?

Anonymous 46536

I am 27 and I feel like I am in a prolonged identity crisis. I am a failed illustrator. I haven't completed a painting or drawn consistently in years and taken a commission in even longer. Because I don't know what I want.

Anonymous 46599

I just turned 29 about one hour ago

lol fuck

Anonymous 46609


I turned 25 about 5 months ago. I've been using chans since I was 12 and it's pretty much what I built my whole personality on

Anonymous 46610


>I've been using chans since I was 12.
What kind of personality…

Anonymous 46612


Lots of autism, narcissism, daddy issues and a superiority complex. My irl speech patterns are shitposty and I can't bond with normal people. My only friends are online and it's prolly gonna be that way forever cause irl people are boring and bland

I can mingle with normal people fine and they're none the wiser but it makes me want to kill myself how boring it is

Anonymous 46614

I've been on 4chan since I was 11 and I'm probably one of the biggest semi-normies around

Anonymous 46615

I turn 28 next month and I've been using chans since I was 14. So I definitely feel you on how it affects your personality.

Anonymous 46620

>My irl speech patterns are shitposty
Can you give me an example?

Anonymous 46621

I tend to be contradictory to whatever things other people say because my brain is hardwired to try and annoy people and when there's a silence I tend to start repeating things with the intend of being obnoxiously random

Anonymous 46622

>I tend to be contradictory to whatever things other people say because my brain is hardwired to try and annoy people
Don't worry, I know people like that who certainly don't post on anywhere like here.
>when there's a silence I tend to start repeating things with the intend of being obnoxiously random
That's new.

Anonymous 48616

I'm almost thirty and I've been wanting ashy pink hair for a while… I already have bleached hair,I'd just have to lighten it a bit more. I have short hair that doesn't hit my shoulders. Work isn't a problem. Should I go for it??? Or just do a bit of pink at the bottom? Or just stick with natural colors? I guess this is /hb/ but I'm mostly thinking about it in regards to my age….

Anonymous 48617

Don't let age stop you from doing what you want.

Anonymous 48627

kitty gettin swole

Anonymous 48632

My aunts in her 50's and a teacher and she often dies her hair bright pink.
As long as you can dress to match it and it fits with any dress codes you might have to deal with do what you like.

Anonymous 48634


>In her 50s.
>Bright pink color.
How's that midlife crisis going for her?

Anonymous 48637

Jealous uggo kek

Anonymous 48644

Sense of security, like pockets jingling.

Anonymous 48648

She's actually probably doing the best out of all her siblings. She's just that kind of quirky person.

Anonymous 48666

Damn, you’re right. That’s what I would tell someone else if they asked me… thanks, anon!

Anonymous 48674

This. Age is just a matter of time.
If you let society dictate you, you'll just end up as an empty husk.

Anonymous 48933

When is it too late to start working towards a better life?
Or should I admit that it's already too late and kill myself?

I'm 27 and I hate my job and I'm thinking of going back to college. It's just the thought of having to get a loan and going more into debt scares me.

Anonymous 48947


You should just kill yourself. Anonymous (>>48628) has enlightened me that poverty is good and and that the bwig bwad gubmint can't do anything to help you without making everything worse. You'll only be a net drag on the economy. End it all now and you'll help improve everyone else's living standards. Do it for the world, Anonymous. We're counting on you.

Anonymous 48952

Fuck the world. I hope it all burns or the coronavirus mutates into something worst.

Anonymous 48956

Thanks Anon I think I will live now just to bring you down.

Anonymous 49052

Must be npds

Anonymous 49128

Turning 25 soon, my bf will be 22. I hate this.

Anonymous 49137

How many years of college would you have left? How would getting your degree help you?

Anonymous 49142

I want to finish my CCNA or networking+. I have experience in just A+ although I think it expired. Due to getting a job in management. My cousin is willing to offer me a job in his IT department. But I feel like I would just drag his team down without the proper training training. I know I can learn on the job but I'd hate to be too much of a burden.

Anonymous 49178

I realized that because I wash my hair every day the color would fade quickly, and also bleaching and dying my hair would go against my long term goal of growing my hair out long. I feel good about not rushing into things but I still want it.

Anonymous 49596

Lol you’ll be aight
Normally IT isn’t super fast pace and competitive. Nor is it incredibly hard. It’s p chill, and you’ll have a lot of time to learn what’s going on.


i'm 19
imagine not being a zoomer

Anonymous 50958


Thanks for sharing, that's the kind of advice (if I can consider it like that) I like to hear! I'm a different anon.

Anonymous 52171


ot: I wonder, do any other older women here also notice that younger men become rather unpleasantly unattractive? Annoying even?

Anonymous 52206

100%. Most of the guys I work with are 40+ and have established careers, finances, good habits, know how to dress, date, and socialize… can't imagine dating a guy younger than me and what they'd offer even in the slightest for someone looking for a life partner at 25+. If I wanted to raise a child I'd do that instead lmao

Anonymous 52307

Face yoga video recs?

I want to get into face yoga, but the videos I’ve found so far are 10 minutes of padding with the actual content being “roll your eyes, look left, look right, wa la! :^)”

Anonymous 52614

Im 45 and I want to die.

Anonymous 52652

when i was 15 i wanted to die
i still do

Anonymous 52675

Anonymous 52684

do you have children?

Anonymous 52750

i see

Anonymous 113355


I was going to make a new thread but then noticed this one already exists. Let's revive it.
There are mostly very young people in the friendfinder thread. I want to know how the older miners are doing, while also not focusing so much on the women+aging and "wall" conversations. Personally, aging doesn't bother me so much, but I wonder what keeps us older people frequenting these online spaces.

>How old are you?

>Are you satisfied with your life?
>Do you have a job/career? NEET? What is your daily routine?
>Do you have friends?
>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?
>Do you have/plan to have children?
>Do you use other imageboards? Other online spaces?
>What keeps you coming back?

Anonymous 113356

not really
NEET who really needs to get my shit together
not since elementary school
self inserting into video games
4chan, lolcow, other niche forums
Just wanna see if anybody else is playing/watching the same things/like the same characters
they never are

Anonymous 113357

Occasionally, not too long that it inhibits forward movement.
I have a source of money and a goal. Not a NEET, but not a career.
I never have, am open to trying to expand my social relations soon though, now that I have a reason too.
Vidya I guess.
Plan to, have a steep cost I need to pay before I can even get that far though.
8chan, kohlchan.
Very little.

Anonymous 113358

>NEET, always have been. I want to study, or at least to have a real job, but those opportunities don’t exist for trash like me. So I just cope with it.
>Lots of friends irl, but they’re like me, as of in, not normies. I love them tho.
>Books, food, the internet.
>No relationship so far. I’m a lesbian, and traditionally lesbians are loners for life.
>I don’t want kids. My mother is a horrible person, nuff said.
>I visit this place, and 4chan. I use Discord too, but just for existing friends, as all the servers are more or less insufferable.
>The sense of community, the feeling that there’s someone else who gets it.

Anonymous 113359

>How old are you?
>Are you satisfied with your life?
Could be better, could be worse. On one hand, I'm crashing at a friend's house because the house I was renting burnt down (don't worry, I only lost like two boxes of stuff, everything else hadn't been moved in yet) so I'm technically homeless and my small business went bankrupt because of Corona costing me $40,000 and wiping out my savings. But I literally own a home in a different state (renters live there and I can't relocate due to work) and also I still have most of my stuff. So overall I'm pretty good.
>Do you have a job/career? NEET? What is your daily routine?
I'm a nurse. Good solid 9-5 work (though I often have to stay late to shut down the clinic but I'm paid by the hour so I don't care). I get up, go to work, work frantically for 11 hours, come home, be a zombie. Rinse and repeat. The work is very fulfilling so I really like my job.
>Do you have friends?
Yes and no. I have people that would let me live on their couch completely rent free if I needed to, but otherwise we only exchange Christmas cards and don't really talk. So I have no one to talk to or hang out with.
Does shitposting count? No? Uh, then not really. My watercolors all got burnt up but I hadn't really done anything for a while.
>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?
Yes. My second one ever. He's wonderful and I love him.
>Do you have/plan to have children?
No. Life is too short to spend it in devotion to someone else. As well as, and I do not mean this in a mean way, it takes a horrible toll on your body. Just absolutely wrecks your health. You read about that women who gave birth and the male doctor fucked up her vagina and then didn't believe her when she told him something was wrong? And the pain got so bad that she had to use a wheelchair and she tried to kill herself? No thank you, birth is way too risky.
>Do you use other imageboards? Other online spaces?
I go on /r9k/, otherwise I'm constantly getting banned from Reddit for openly talking about women's liberation and no one pays attention to me on tumblr.
>What keeps you coming back?
Here? That it's women only. If only they could get more users, CC, spinster, and ovarit would be unmatched with how great they are. Speaking of which, does anyone have an ovarit code they'd be willing to give? I was given one once, but it failed during the sign up phase and it never got fixed.

Anonymous 113368

>How old are you?
>Are you satisfied with your life?
Not for a good whilst now.
>Do you have a job/career? NEET? What is your daily routine?
I’m homeless, being bounced between government housing and shelters.
>Do you have friends?
Not really, the few people I used to be friends with never want to talk to me these days.
Drawing, Playing instruments, night walks, internet rabitholes, I used to enjoy video games and cycling when I could do those things.
>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?
Yes… but.. she’s getting tired of me I can tell. Even though it would break my heart I don’t hold it against her if she leaves, I’m so mentally sick and it’s not fair to drag her down with me.
>Do you have/plan to have children?
I would love to but it wouldn’t be fair, I’d make a terrible mother.
>Do you use other imageboards? Other online spaces?
Twitter and Tumblr for art related stuff. A few discord groups.
>What keeps you coming back?
Sense of shared struggles, there’s more honesty here than most spaces.

Anonymous 113369

>How old are you?
pushing 30
>Are you satisfied with your life?
absolutely not
>Do you have a job/career? NEET? What is your daily routine?
i have a job, but i don't want to possibly give myself away
>Do you have friends?
casual friends, i guess, but i distanced myself from most of them because i've had shifts in politics
too adhd to have any outside of working but i watch youtube and draw
>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?
no, no
>Do you have/plan to have children?
absolutely not
>Do you use other imageboards? Other online spaces?
i lurk and occasionally post on lolcow, i used to be a kiwi (i know, i know) but got bored of it, otherwise i have a low-key presence on social media (i'm a "cryptoterf" since i'm slightly GC but don't push my views on people)
>What keeps you coming back?
i'm not sure? this site has a userbase but it's not really a big one by any means but i like how it's supposed to be female only, which makes me more comfortable even if i don't agree with or find some posts annoying (but that's with every website)

Anonymous 113385

If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up homeless/hopping between government housing?

Anonymous 113390

How old are you?
>Are you satisfied with your life?
I'm not satisfied with the amount of plant life and vivariums in my house. I want a sun room and a house not an apartment. I want a garden and fruit trees.. to raise various freshwater prawns and rabbits for meat. I'm never satisfied with what I'm writing. Still I would be lying if I didn't say my only real goal in life is to just enjoy it. I had an extremely negative stressful childhood and
my personality became radical. I became obsessed with freedom.I have a detachment disorder as a result of stuff but As long as I have an income and savings and I'm making gains I'm happy.

>Do you have a job/career? NEET?

I have a job working as a night auditor, and saving for a carpet cleaning business. I have a shit ton of free time at this job
because it's dead..… which is why I chose this position specifically, So I can write nonstop. I'm really stubborn and freewheeling/ creative about how I hack life so I can do what I want. Not sorry!!

I will continue the same way when I'm carpet cleaning… if I can make 100-200-300$ a day in 4 hours or make $2000 after 3-4 days of cleaning a hotel… and write the rest of the time.. continue the way I am now…I'll be happy until I die. But fuck having children that is death

What is your daily routine?
..clocking in, working a front desk…. writing… watching movies. I get online for 2-3 hours a day now but today it's a lot.

>Do you have friends?

No, the friends I had are scattered across the country. Or they're dead ends because they had babies. One had a heart attack from meth, he is disabled now!! One is on too many drugs. They're not the same anymore idk.

I am very bad at making friends online unfortunately. I don't trust people online AT ALL. They're very shady. nothing but bad experiences. Bad experiences with people all around. I have a fundamental distrust so I put it on the backburner.


Gardening, vivariums, aquascaping, writing, illustration, reading, journaling. I majored in visual development in art school. Some video games but they're deadly. Only rarely.

>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?

I had them. I dont want to get chained down though. I'm really avoidant of them.. That whole can of worms turns me off now. Plus I have attachment issues.

>Do you have/plan to have children?

Never that would be my worst nightmare.

>Do you use other imageboards?

Some .. i like 420chan and lainchan most of all probably… chill boards. But I barely get on these boards. Why am I still on here???? I need to get off and go to sleep asap.

Other online spaces?
Vivarium/ reptile / plant / lit / author subreddits.. 420chan etc

>What keeps you coming back?

Not much. I hardly ever get on here. For a while I did… Its not that enjoyable though. I hate the feeling of being on the internet now, it's draining

Anonymous 113393

Would you be willing to post any of your vivariums? I adore them but have never had a housing situation stable enough to keep one.

Anonymous 218787

I havent been to this site in like 4 years. From the looks of it, it hasn't changed much. Any other 30+ witches here?
Im 30, happily married and happily childfree, but we have two kitty cats.

Anonymous 218828

30 here too. I take a more secular approach but when I was practising more, I was so at peace with myself. Ritual is an important thing. I practiced tarot a lot too, even professionally for a while. How long have you been into witchcraft?

Anonymous 218832

Ive always had a interest in witchcraft. I've been practicing on and off for 15 years. I end up taking long break when my mental health is too low. I've picked it back up a few years ago. I'm also secular with my practices, Ive always treated it as my own personal journey.
I love tarot cards, it's my favorite divination. I have never tried to do it professionally or read for other people. How was that? Did you sell readings on etsy?

Anonymous 218943

>How old are you?
27 going on 28 in may.

>Are you satisfied with your life?

so far, yes. i got into university. moved to paris. totally changed my wardrobe, got my hair done, started standing up for myself more, totally changed my perspective on life and started telling myself everyday that i deserve better. there's still a lot i want to do and i am not totally satisfied but when i look back on the past i don't recognize myself from the person i used to be. i feel like i am becoming the person i always knew i could be inside, but it took a lot of pain to get here. i had to leave behind a lot of people. lots of broken relationships i had to end, lots of people i had to cut off that i never said goodbye to because they were holding me back. things like that.

>Do you have a job/career? NEET? What is your daily routine?

i was working on and off. right now my "job" if you can call it that is a student. i am considering a lot of career options, mainly looking into trying to get into the fashion industry or maybe get back into art once i get my master's. i used to be a neet in my early 20's up until about 25. i don't really have a particular routine other than what i have to do to get ready for classes. mainly once i get off the train i walk to starbucks or the little coffee shop on campus, get a coffee, croissant, take a shower in the morning, check my emails, check my bank, put money down on my credit cards. things like that. and i try to pray everyday or at least give thanks for everything i have.

>Do you have friends?

not really. i've tried to have friends but it never really works out. i like my independence. i like doing things on my own. i don't have the patience to commit to other people and most people i meet just want someone that is going to entertain them, go get drinks, shit like that. i find that boring. i prefer animals to humans anyway. i find that now that i am trying to improve myself, deal with my behaviors (good and bad), i have little patience for other people's bad behaviors. i had to drop a few friends recently for being insecure, or not respecting my boundaries when i told them numerous times that there were certain things i don't like to do due to my past. they still did it anyway, so i stopped talking to them.


collecting tarot cards, horseback riding, birdwatching, stargazing, photography, drawing, collecting perfume, collecting designer handbags, identifying and photographing clouds, airplane spotting

>Are you in a relationship? Ever been?

no and no lol.

>Do you have/plan to have children?

maybe, but i don't think it's going to happen for me until i am in my 30's. i got a reading done on this and this was the age range i was told i would likely find my partner. at first i was pretty upset because i realize that i've been raised to marry young, but realistically i know it's better for me to wait because of everything i am doing right now and i am not really in the mood to be involved with anyone currently. i want to enjoy the rest of my 20's and focus on my degree right now since i didn't really get to enjoy my childhood and early 20's like i wish i should have.

>Do you use other imageboards? Other online spaces?

yes, not as much as i did when i was younger. sometimes i go on lolcow, but i've stopped recently since it's gotten kind of dull. i don't use traditional social media anymore like insta, twitter, facebook. i deleted all my accounts when i was 17 and never looked back. i just have lurker accounts that i don't use other than to browse since some sites like insta now require you to have an account to look at people's timelines or whatever. i have a youtube but again, i only use it to watch videos and listen to music and i stopped for a while during covid because i hated how they changed the algorithm. i don't like people in my business. i don't like taking pictures of myself, or documenting what i am doing in my day to day existence since i think it's kind of stupid.

>What keeps you coming back?

to cc? i like that it's anonymous. i like how no one really knows who you are even when people try to identify you. i like how relaxed it is here. i like the early internet feel of the boards, the threads, the fact we can talk about pretty much anything from food to depression to why is my right foot turning green?

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