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Bisexual but dating a guy Anonymous 16936

Does anyone ever fee left out on being bisexual because you have a boyfriend? Or have urges to date a girl? Half vent, half question thread.

Anonymous 16941

I mean there is a lot of biphobia and erasure within the LGBT comm, and outside of course. Mostly I just feel like people will shit on my sexuality because I'm dating one way and not the other, but then if I was dating the other they'd still do it for the same reasons. If you've never dated a girl (like me rip) then I can see how you might feel that you are missing out, even though I don't really feel that way. I assume you haven't yourself? I wouldn't… break up with anyone for it but in general I'd say its pretty normal to wonder about other people in a relationship while still feeling secure in it. Wondering is wondering, but if you are really having doubts then you should think about them a bit more and figure out if its big enough deal to end your current relationship over.

Anonymous 16946

I used to feel like that when I wasn't with the "right" boyfriend. I'd feel like I needed a girl too and that my sexuality was being made fun of because he'd always laugh at me saying I wasn't really into women because I was with him. He was a piece of shit when it comes to respect, so no surprise. Now I am very happy with someone who understands me and completes me so I do not feel that way anymore. I feel more "straight" when I am with a guy and more "lesbian" when I'm dating a girl, if that makes any sense.

Anonymous 16947

Left out? Being bisexual is simply supposed to mean you CAN go either way, not that you HAVE to. By your logic, should a straight woman feel "left out" if she likes 2 different kinds of guys but can only date 1 at a time?

Don't mean to sound offensive, but if you're concerned about what you're "supposed" to be doing as a bisexual, instead of simply doing what you personally want, you come off as a snowflake saying you're bi for attention. Date a man if you want. Date a woman if you want. Don't be concerned with your image or expectations.

Anonymous 16951

I want to endgame with a guy because, hypothetically, I would probably yearn more for the male body if I was with a woman forever than I would for the female body if I was with a man forever. I guess it's just preference, but I hesitate to say that because I'm actually sexually attracted to a larger variety of women and can get off to women more easily. The type of guy I'm into is actually ridiculously specific, but maybe that's why I prefer men. The whole 'unicorn-got-to-hang-on-to-this' factor, since I'm not even interested in children or that passionate about penetration.
In regards to OP, as I am now (single virgin) I would love to date a woman, but since I'd always have "endgame" in my head I'd feel guilty while doing it. So I've kind of come up with two scenarios in which I'd go for a girl:
>I befriend a bi girl who would like a FWB situation. I wouldn't do this to a lesbian because they suffer with enough bs from bi women.
>Serious relationship with guy doesn't work out (he cheats/turns nasty/dies), then I will date a woman

I can see how some women feel insecure about identifying with bisexual if they've only dated men, but I personally do not feel that way. The first three years I masturbated it was exclusively to women, I still get more turned on by women, and my first crush was a girl, so I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual.

Although I just made a post full of complaining, I actually think as bisexuals we're pretty lucky. You can't deny that having a bigger dating pool is pretty great. We just complain about having too many choices of equally delicious cookies.

Anonymous 16955

>>16936 I didn't mean for it to come off that way, sorry. Its mostly just outcast shyte. Like feeling if im just straight because im with a guy or if im bi.

Anonymous 16965

I'm bi and engaged to a man. We are monogamous and I've asked him about the possibilities of us both being more open in our relationship but right now he's not comfortable with it. I'm OK with that because I really love him and want to stay with him.

Of course I am still attracted to other people (of various genders), and of course I will think about how different my life might look if I had ended up engaged/married to a woman.

Ideally you can talk honestly with your boyfriend about this stuff and not feel like it's a dirty secret.

Anonymous 16968

>I've asked him about the possibilities of us both being more open in our relationship but right now he's not comfortable with it
Oof. He's very committed to you. Don't take that for granted~

Anonymous 16969

too late

Anonymous 16970

What happened?

Anonymous 16973


I think he is! That's why I didn't push it on the "openness" in our relationship, 'cause getting to bang randos isn't worth our relationship.

Anonymous 16975

Oh, that's so sweet! It's good of you to not tarnish such affection. So many would sacrifice much of their lives for that kind of love. I hope you two have great futures together!

Anonymous 16976

you are sweet, thank you. :)

Anonymous 16977

It's nothing! You're the sweet one!

Anonymous 67377

If you can manage two partners without them cheating or disrespecting the relationship you are good but otherwise it's horrible. They must love each other not only you as well otherwise it will end up badly, and you must be super impartial once disputes happen because if it gets too one sided either the boy or the girl is going to leave the relationship with a broken heart. Be careful if you ever try it, you need to be twice as smart and empathic.

Anonymous 70290

I think the majority of my similar feelings come from other LGBT friends not taking me seriously as a bisexual. I'm very happy with my boyfriend but because I'm not currently with a woman, I'm not "gay" enough for them. Doubt they'd harass a gay man and tell him he's not gay anymore because he's currently single… Anyway, fuck those people, I don't need to "prove" I'm bi to anyone and I'm certainly not going to sabotage my idyllic relationship to please a bunch of miserable assholes.

Anonymous 70303

necroposting, but shit, this is relevant

being a bi myself, i am currently in a relationship with a bi man, and yet we both are "hetero" in the eyes of homophobes and homosexuals alike, and are unwelcome in both groups as well, because we have to stay in the closet either way

as a teen i used to think about lgbt as a space where i would be accepted, but i met way more hostility from political lesbians than homophobic men

when i broke up with my ex-gf (because she was abusive) of course she pulled the "all bisexuals are unfaithful" card well-knowing how serious i am about being faithful to each other in a relationship

i am very happy in my current relationship, but it's just scary to know that both parties will tear you apart and eat alive just for being born that way

>Anyway, fuck those people, I don't need to "prove" I'm bi to anyone and I'm certainly not going to sabotage my idyllic relationship to please a bunch of miserable assholes.

I second this, anon. Fuck those people. And fuck those who think that being bi is "betrayal", or that we are unfaithful, or that being bi and dating a guy makes us lesser people.

Anonymous 70308

depends on the location, I think
where I live he could be perceived as gay and killed

he distanced himself from all of his childhood friends when they became old enough to drink beer and eventually all their moid talk was about hating and killing all faggots, which is pretty gay if you ask me

i can be at least perceived as a sexual object, because homophobes still think that girl-on-girl is sexy, which is disgusting but a little bit better than being outright killed, i guess

and regarding lgbt spaces i don't know because he never tried to blend into one
IRL basically only I know about him being bi, and i don't know other bi men either, maybe because they are tightly closeted for a reason

Anonymous 70323

>maybe because they are tightly closeted for a reason
Probably. Personally, I never saw bi men being outright criticized in the LGBT crowd because "unfaithfulness". It's more of a general misogyny shit I guess.
Bi men are definitely criticized by homophobes though.

>is disgusting but a little bit better than being outright killed

I would argue but it'd really come down to venting and stuff.

Anonymous 70328

>It's more of a general misogyny shit I guess.
misogyny is just everywhere, but it especially hurts when it comes from other women

>I would argue but it'd really come down to venting and stuff.

i see where you're coming from, and i probably wouldn't argue with you anyway, because you are you, and me is me, and i am just really afraid of death per se

Anonymous 71682

Over 80% of bisexual people end up with partners of the opposite sex. You're not opressed by muh evil gays for being in a straight relationship, you're in the majority.

Anonymous 71700

how many get a bigamous relationship? I'm interested in that one.

Anonymous 71717

That's because you are in a hetero relationship dumbass why do you WANT to be oppressed??

Anonymous 71720

Of course with biphobic assholes crying "betrayal" bi people end up with the opposite sex. What did you expect?

And who said that you need to be a minority to be oppressed? Women are a majority worldwide, and yet we are oppressed worldwide.


I am not in "hetero" relationship, dumbass, I am bi. All my relationships are bi. Don't ask me why do I "want" to be oppressed (I don't), better ask yourself why the fuck do you oppress me for being me.

Anonymous 71724

No and I find the thought of someone being butthurt over me being with a man laughable. It's their problem if they choose to have their mood ruined over that, not mine. For me sexuality is just a matter of what turns me on and I don't base my identity around it. I love my man and his body, but I enjoy getting off to women too and would have dated them, I have crushed on women many times too. I don't even take part in LGBT shit because my sexuality is really just such a small part of me. I haven't even told about it to anyone because it's really unnecessary for anyone to know, unless they happened to ask for some reason. I struggle to understand people that make their sexuality such a huge part of their identity. I have had crushes on women and sometimes my fantasizes revolve around women. I find beauty and sex appeal in both genders. My lover and future husband just happens to be a guy. Gender is not a factor for me, I'd love him and had pursued him all the same if he was a woman, because I fell in love with his soul, not gender.

Anonymous 71726

If the only "oppression" you're ever subjected to is people telling you you're not oppressed, then you're not oppressed. Also a relationship can't be bi unless it's poly, you're either in a hetero relationship or a homo one, regardless of your orientation.

Anonymous 71741

Don't measure people by your own experience. Nobody on the internet is obliged to tell you their life stories, especially a bisexual to a biphobe.

And given how many bisexuals are forced into closets in "straight" relationships, only an ignorant biphobe would call these relationships straight.

Anonymous 71815

Ok breeder no one is mad that you're dating a man it's just annoying how pissy you are over "biphobia" because if you're a woman dating a man no one is oppressing your relationship because it's straight

Anonymous 71818

>My lover and future husband just happens to be a guy
Yeah, it also "just happens" to 80% of bisexual women, I see a pattern here
Lmao "biphobia" doesn't exist

Anonymous 71826

I'm bisexual myself and I repeat: biphobia doesn't exist. We are privileged because we have straight passing privilege. End of story.
Lesbians don't have problems with bi women dating men as long as they stay the fuck away from gay spaces and don't call themselves gay. Unfortunately, some bisexual women in het relationships fetishize lesbians and treat them like a toy they can use in a threesome to spice up boring sex life with their scrotes.
I don't give a fuck about gay men (I don't give a fuck about any men). They're degenerates. But I have no respect for bi women who choose to live with men either. Also, gay people can still reproduce, believe it or not.

Anonymous 71829

>bisexual women are statistically more at risk of Sexual and intimate partner violence than other groups
Not dating men would've fixed the majority of their problems.
>Unless you're a radfem
I was, not I'm a female separatist.
>Not without complicated and often expensive methods
Kek lesbians can just take the spunk of their gay male friends and use it you know, they don't have to use IVF or sperm banks. Gay men have it harder because they literally can't conceive without using a body of a woman. But women have their ways.

Anonymous 71830

>denying their own sexuality will fix the majority of their problems
We can also fix homophobia this way, lesbians and gay men should just not date the same sex if they don't want to face bigotry, abuse, murder and harassment. In fact, let's all just go ace. Problems = solved.
>Kek lesbians can just take the spunk of their gay male friends and use it you know
Yeah, that's just as easy and simple as the old-fashioned way, taking the semen of someone you're not even attracted to into your body for a child (this is sarcasm).

Anonymous 71835

>denying their own sexuality
Having a sexuality doesn't force you to act on it lmao. I don't fuck men, am I denying my sexuality? Not really. I'm still bisexual.
Gay relationships don't create the foundation for patriarchal society like straight ones do. You can't compare it. Also, gay people don't even have to be in gay relationships to be abused by their families, it's enough that they talk about their orientation. No one will abuse you or oppress you for being attracted to the opposite sex and talking about it.

Anonymous 71837

>Having a sexuality doesn't force you to act on it lmao.
Okay, now say this to gay men. No matter how many social differences you may cite, the fact remains that you can't help who you fall in love with. You may repress your attraction to men for political reasons, but that's you. Victim-blaming women for their abuse is just nasty. Do you also harangue lesbians for facing abuse as a result of "comphet" relationships?
>Also, gay people don't even have to be in gay relationships to be abused by their families, it's enough that they talk about their orientation. No one will abuse you or oppress you for being attracted to the opposite sex and talking about it.
This is conflating bisexuality with heterosexuality, just dishonest. Are you actually bisexual, or just a lesbian (or political lesbian, kek) LARPing so you can lecture bisexuals more effectively?

Anonymous 71839

I said I don't care about gay men though. I don't expect anything from them, they're men after all.
"Comphet" doesn't exist. It's a term made up by a political lesbian, not a real one. Women who willingly sleep with men are bisexual, not homosexual. Shocking, I know. And seriously, if you live in the so called first-world country you are not forced to date and fuck men (obviously, I'm not talking about victims of rape, trafficking etc). You're perpetuating the victim mentality by claiming women are literally forced to fuck men and can't control themselves.

How am I conflating bisexuality with heterosexuality?

Anonymous 71842

Okay, then I expect you to keep this exact same energy when you run into self-proclaimed lesbians who talk at length about how they grew up fucking/dating/crushing on men to fit in, but have just now found themselves. You probably won't, despite what you're saying here (no one ever does), and that's the funny side of the matter.
>You're perpetuating the victim mentality by claiming women are literally forced to fuck men and can't control themselves.
It's weird to bring up the social power of a heterosexual paradigm, only to deny that women are pressured into relationships with men and expected to follow them. Maybe you have the privilege of ignoring it freely, if you live in a first world country and in a progressive area, but most don't. Moreover, like I said, if someone is bisexual, it's not really a matter of "picking a side" when you meet someone you fall in love with. Monosexuals fail to understand this, and I'll never get why. It's not hard at all. We also don't live in a female separatist society, so any "Ok just don't talk to men or socialize with men stay away from them" argument will fail, realistically.
>How am I conflating bisexuality with heterosexuality?
"No one will abuse you or oppress you for being attracted to the opposite sex and talking about it.", as if attraction to the opposite sex is a defining point of bisexuality, rather than a part of it.
>doesn't deny being a lesbian/political lesbian LARPing

Anonymous 71844

>I expect you to keep this exact same energy when you run into self-proclaimed lesbians who talk at length about how they grew up fucking/dating/crushing on men to fit in
Well I had a video chat with one and I openly said what I think. I don't think I would back off irl. The few lesbians I know personally are goldstars, I haven't met a fakebian irl yet.
>women are pressured into relationships with men and expected to follow them
Of course women are pressured. Still, there's no invisible power literally forcing them to fuck men. You know, sex isn't something that just happens to you. You have to meet someone, go to a place, undress etc. There's so many steps required yet women act like sex is something that just happens lol. I'm so tired of the fakebian discourse, we've been through this so many times on sites like tumblr and youtube.
You're literally implying that not fucking men is a privilege. I know a goldstar from a conservative roman catholic family. I live in Eastern europe and I was also raised in a pretty conservative environment. It's so offensive to imply we somehow had it better than western women lol
>Ok just don't talk to men or socialize with men stay away from them" argument will fail, realistically
Well it works for me. You can talk to men at school and work and still don't have any close male figures in your life you know. Why do you act like having men in your life is inevitable?
>as if attraction to the opposite sex is a defining point of bisexuality
It's not but no one will oppress you for the straight part of it, people will only have a problem with the homosexual part, because homophobia exists, and heterophobia doesn't.

Anonymous 71847

I'm not just talking about sex, I'm talking about full-on relationships, marriage, etc. It's basically enforced. You and your friend got out easy, great, but most do not, and they also don't have a support system backing them if they don't want to be with men, because again, lesbians are 4% of the population, and last time I checked, homophobia and corrective rape still exist.
>You're literally implying that not fucking men is a privilege.
No, I'm saying that it's a privilege to walk away from a homophobic society. You're not the standard, kek. Sorry. I'm also not from a western country, so I'm not implying that, lmao. It's just very weird to acknowledge something and then deny it.
>Well it works for me. You can talk to men at school and work and still don't have any close male figures in your life you know. Why do you act like having men in your life is inevitable?
Yeah, I'm not sure where you live where having men in your life isn't normal and inevitable, but I can't relate, and I don't think most of the planet can. If you ever manage to start up an all-female nation, please post about it here, open the borders for strctly female immigration, and then you can be weirdly elitist, because then most women will have the options.
>It's not but no one will oppress you for the straight part of it, people will only have a problem with the homosexual part, because homophobia exists, and heterophobia doesn't.
Good thing I didn't claim heterophobia exists. And people both straight and gay harass bisexuals, sexually harass/abuse them, assume that they are sexually promiscuous and insist they need to "pick a side" because they personally have cuckoldry anxiety. Again, monosexuals are incapable of fathoming this, and that's why I doubt you. This denial, lmao.

Anonymous 71849

>it's basically enforced
Again, depends where you live and what exactly do you mean. But even where I live you are not literally forced to marry a man in order to survive or otherwise you will be beaten or killed by your family or something. You can be single if you're scared to date another woman. I definitely wouldn't say anything about being bisexual when I was still living with my mother, because she was extremely homophobic and she was nagging me about not having a boyfriend, not reacting to any complements men give me, not performing traditional femininity enough etc., she would call me a "dyke" or a "faggot" just because I was a tomboy (not even butch looking), so I knew she wouldn't accept the homosexual part of my attraction. But that doesn't mean I was literally forced to date and fuck men. And now when I'm an adult and I live alone I don't have to worry. Sorry but most women in the western world and even in some central or eastern european countries are able to support themselves financially, sure, they would've had more money to spend if they had a husband, but it's not like they will starve to death. And in the case when they indeed face the danger of living on the street, hunger etc., and being with a man is the only way to have a shelter, then you can't even say they're fucking those men 100% willingly. It's coercion. I'm talking about women who fuck and marry men willingly and who wouldn't face any life-threatening consequences if they refused to fuck and marry them. What's so hard to understand about this?
Also, people being mean to you is not systematic oppression (like homophobia, racism ect).

Anonymous 71854

>using personal anecdotes as proof that no one suffers
>"Also, people being mean to you is not systematic oppression"
Lmao "being mean". Nah, this is definitely salty political lesbian LARP/cope. Good luck, I'm out

Anonymous 71892

No, I'm not larping, you simply don't understand how systematic oppression works and you want to take part in oppression olympics despite bashing it a few posts ealier. You couldn't even explain HOW exactly women are forced to fuck and marry men (in the western world). If you claim that women have zero control over their own actions and no personal agency, you're perpetuating the victim mentality (one of the things that both libfems and radfems share, unfortunately).

Anonymous 71898

Also, you seem to miss the difference between a febfem and a political lesbian

Anonymous 71915

Late but
>denying their own sexuality
This doesn't correlate to monos the same way. We have two options we equally enjoy, they only have one option to start with.
"Denying" myself men can still mean I'll have a life partner who I am attracted to. If I were a lesbian denying myself women I'd not be able to have a life partner at all, or be with someone I have no attraction to.
One of these endings is worse.

Anyway I have no real input on the rest of the conversation. Bihets and febfems are all fine; I trust all bisexuals to eventually choose who fits our individual desires and needs. Just do what's best for you and stay safe out there.

Anonymous 79171

yes. I have felt isolated ever since I came out as bi. I feel like there aren't many good bi communities because a lot of bi people either try to latch onto gays (who don't want us, so fuck it) or try to pretend they're straight (I did that for years until I was living with my girlfriend and obviously couldn't pretend I was straight anymore).
We really need to create our own spaces.

Anonymous 79173


girl shut the fuck up. the lesbians still don't want you no matter how much you allow yourself to be walked on or wait outside their spaces like an obedient dog waiting for them to tell you you're not like the other bisexuals since YOU accept your fate of belonging literally fucking nowhere, having nothing, and having all of your experiences dismissed because of something something stealthing and something something passable. grow a fucking spine and quit acting like a stray cat begging for a spare moldy bread slice.

Anonymous 79213

Kind of a dumb question, but do bis find that men fetishize their sexuality? I imagine that men would think it increases their chances of a MFF threesome or something.

Anonymous 79253

Yes and yes. They won't take bisexuality seriously unless it's to get threesomes out of it. I had an ex who would ogle other women and comment on their bodies and when I asked him to stop he said "but you're bi, my ex was bi too and we'd thirst over women together". Of course he was a sex addict and tried to open up the relationship, so I noped out.

Anonymous 89308

Do you think it's possible for Bis and lesbians to coexist without it turning into a hug box or shit throwing?
It sucks that in the only places I can thrist are lesbian driven because I still get the occasional salty bitch but I still don't dislike lesbians at all and I can still relate to them and their experiences.

The bisexual thread on lolcow is my only refuge at this point lol

Anonymous 89317

maybe but it has to be devoid of politics/any radfem slant. from experience if you mention men at all as a bi woman you get dogpiled or you get radio silence and DMs telling you not to talk about men lmao

Anonymous 89325

I noticed winch is shit. Though my desire for a bisexual lover rather then a straight or lesbian one is strengthen though. Bi4bi should be a thing- why the fuck do homo and straight got to have us when at least half of them think were crap/ somehow less valid then them.

Also I seriously want to avoid fetishzation or weird insecurities that I will somehow dump them for the opposite or same sex.
Personally I really want a girlfriend and i guess my end game is a woman.

Anonymous 89331

I am bi and in a relationship with a man and I have to confess sometimes I find bi people in straight relationships extremely annoying. Especially the colored hair "queer" girls who only dated males and think liking a "they/them" slightly effeminate man makes them very oppressed.
I feel like the worst difficulties about my sexuality would come when dating another girl, and almost all of those would overlap with the problems lesbians face. So why the antagonism?

Anonymous 89334

Yeah they can be extremely annoying I think as well- especially if it's performative, but I try not to pass too much judgement on them because just because there cringy and dumb it does not mean there not Bi.

I also find the antagonism weird sometimes, however if they don't want to face their negative feelings towards women that could potentially date them and are only focused on the stereotypes/ tendencies of Bis who pump and dump, that's on them. I try not to have them living inside my head rent free for too long, because I have more dignity then that. If they don't want me, I won't want them either kinda thing.
I still think Bi girls should start priotizing their own sexuality if they want to date a woman and if they had the misfortune of being rejected by lesbian girls on grounds of their sexuality.

Anonymous 89336

Also to add on my first point, without knowing them personally I can't say if there " the real deal" or not do to the nature of being bisexual. It's not a static thing

Anonymous 89337

> I am bi and in a relationship with a man and I have to confess sometimes I find bi people in straight relationships extremely annoying
Same here. Anyone who knew me pre-current relationship knows I’m bi but I don’t bother telling anyone new. People in straight relationships that insist they’re “queer” and super fucking oppressed because of it are actually the worst. I just am also attracted to women, geez.

Anonymous 89339

I feel I would mention being Bi in certain contexts such as asking me about previous relationships or first crushes or anything related to romance tbh. Mostly so I don't get a dumb " Wait you dated X but your with Y now!" Type of stuff

I'm still keen on mentioning out of pride online sometimes but I'm pretty quiet about it in real life ( as in no one knows) so I guess I overcompensate online. I wonder if it would change if I got a lover eventually.

Anonymous 89347

Bihets really can't win. Either we are surrounded by bi women who think they are oppressed for dating men or we are surrounded by lesbians and increasingly febfems who think we're dumb for liking dick.

Anonymous 89360

We play the game by not playing I suppose. I think from now on I will mostly engage into Bi friendly spots of my own discretion

Anonymous 89361

no im not that mentally ill
just because m*ids are scum and deserve to be lynched doesn't mean i have to become a fag

Anonymous 89362

More or less. One shouldn't lie just so they could enjoy flimsy acceptance of a group

Anonymous 89364

Pretty much. It's rare to find that sweet spot between "you should choke on dick if you like it so much" and the pity parties.

Anonymous 89365

Well at least here it's chill somewhat.

Anonymous 89435

I have fallen (pretty hard) in love with a woman, I've had romantic feelings towards women. Even sexual feelings.
But I'm afraid of actually being with them. I've only been with guys. Is it because of internalized homophobia or because I'm scared of talking to other women, I wonder?

Anonymous 89461

i have a somwhat nuclear take (prob not nuclear here)
cheating on your bf with a woman isn't morally wrong

Anonymous 89492

Sounds like internalized homophobia to me, but worry not, it took me years to feel okay with the concept of being with a girl. You take your time sitting down and acknowledging your feelings and validating them. You're no less for liking both and or preferring one over the other!
The real mvps are the ones that dump their moids for chicks and get away with it clean (I.e no cheating) it just a little trashy and personally I wouldn't trust my lover if I knew they had cheated to be with me.

Anonymous 122900

I think most guys hold a similar position (sometimes so long as they can watch) cause they don't consider lesbianism a valid relationship. Same thought process behind sex with another woman doesn't lose one's virginity.

Anonymous 122918

I want to endgame with a woman. I think I'd be happier in the long run and later in life with a woman then I'd ever be with a man. It's always been the ideal for me since I don't want a family or kids.

I've dated around in life and most of the women I've been with, always bi at this point, all had ideals of pursuing a man who would let them sleep around with other women if they chose too. Maybe that's just the way it is when you openly date around, you run into a lot of polys/threesome havers. I've been wanting to go celibate for awhile and build myself up. I want to be physically and mentally sound when I openly pursue a relationship with a woman. I'll be honest, with men, I put bare minimum effort. Usually because they're just looking for a sex partner and not so much a romantic partner, which is what I like about dating other women. That's just me though.

Anonymous 122919

Not long ago I broke with my boyfriend and this friday I went to my first date with a girl because I was always curious. It was better than I expected, she was really nice and we have a lot in common.
I'm still really afraid to get closer or even lewd because I still have some of the very religious/conservative mindset my family has.
I didn't tell her that I have no experience at all dating girls, but she probably noticed because of how nervous I was in our date
I'm also afraid because I don't know if she's looking for something casual or if she wants a relationship. I hope it's the second because I'm not used to get lewd with anyone who's not into a relationship with me. She also seems like 100% my type of girl and I don't think I can find someone else like her in my little town

God, I'm overthinking this too much, I don't what I'm saying anymore.

Anonymous 122921

If you like her, I don't think being honest about how you feel would hurt any. The worst thing is she'll move on if she wants something more casual. Considering you live in a small town, I wouldn't be surprised if she wants a relationship too.

Hook ups/casual dating can be so awkward in a small town setting, especially in the LGB scene, since the dating pool is significantly smaller. If you really like this girl, just let it out. I find women tend to be more receptive of boundaries with sex. Sex usually isn't a make or break it deal, sometimes it is, but it's worth a shot to just be open about these kind of things with any potential relationship. Good luck to you .

Anonymous 122942

This post wont win me any popularity contests so sorry in advance.

I did date a girl because I'd been single for quite a while and I'd always been attracted to other girls. At first it was beautiful but the cracks started forming, a little here and there at first, then when she sensed I was unhappy it was like chum in the water and it just crumbled. Eventually I realised that although I found her beautiful and attractive and wonderful I didn't love her and I wasn't attracted to her in the same way I was attracted to men. The sex was fun, but not empowering, not exhilarating, and sadly, not as satisfying as male sexual partners, as stupid as dicks are and men can be there's just something about it that can't be replaced. Gay sex had the same feeling as a good massage, straight sex feels like a workout. Not only that but every man I dated treated me well and as embarrassing as it is to admit to you miners and myself, I loved being taken care of and I love having power over a man. A woman just isn't the same because you know each others moves and you both want the same thing but neither of you are capable of giving it or getting it.

Anonymous 123248

Thank you for being honest. I am ashamed to admit this as well. But what can I do.

Anonymous 123295

I'm a lazy bisexual, I only masturbate to women but I've never dated them and if I admit that then I'll be seen as a fraud

Anonymous 123299

Anonymous 123316

I'm bisexual but only for 2D boys, not touching IRL moids

Anonymous 123406

same here anon
irl i want to spend the rest of my life with a woman, but living in an area with no bi/lesbian women (and filled with unicorn hunters) in addition to being socially retarded i spend all my time looking at qt 2d boys. irl moids are repulsive to me, however some people insist this is “comphet” which i feel really does not apply to me at all

Anonymous 123465

same struggle here, i'm still looking for the fujo/husbandofag gf of my dreams. i hope you find your wife eventually.

it's ironic but i can't help but feel left out of bi discussions because i've never had an actual boyfriend and would prefer not to. all of my other bisexual female friends are dating or married to moids, and i'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me because i can't settle for one. it doesn't help that most online spaces for bisexuals primarily center discussing how het relationships are valid and not the other way around.

Anonymous 123467

moids are gross, don’t feel inferior for not being able to settle for one

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