Female friends / "I'm not like the other girls" Anonymous 2240
Do fellow miners also have a hard time talking to girls?
I feel like this is all society's fault for making me see fellow girls as competition. Even after I found my way out of the "not like the other grills teehee" shithole I still have a hard time, and talking to men is easier. I recently came to the realization that this is because I respect women a lot more than men and see them as actual people, whereas men are just blinded by sex and more likely to be nice to me because muy biological imperative. Other women are actual people and I need to be a decent human being in order for them to appreciate my company.
Anyone have any similar experiences or can relate? If so, why do you think that is?
I kind of relate. Especially in thinking as women as people and men as kind of eh. I try to make female friends, I had a lot when I was younger but as I've gotten older it's gotten harder. I think part of it is b/c I just want a bf and I want him to be my best friend and partner so I'm only seeking men out atm. But it might also be because women are harder to find in general online and those are where most of my friends come from and stay on really. I don't like slice of life shit, but Wakaba Girl was cute and the subs I read were nice conversations some of the time shared between females. I'd like a group of female friends to do cute and fun stuff in our lives together with it's just hard to get.
I know that feel exactly.
When talking to men I don't give much of a fuck. But with girls I get so incredibly nervous and have a hard time making new female friends because I'm so scared to annoy them or to scare them off with my weirdness.
I'm not sure I relate to the second half of the post but the first half is definitely me.
The thing about seeing women as people versus men- I never really thought about it that way before, I think I need to think about it more before I can break it down but in my case I think it applies on some level to me. I had a very grossly old fashioned upbringing so it was heavily stressed to me that men only wanted one thing from women and that women only had one thing to offer. I am awful at making friends in general though, but men are far less intimidating for me to talk to.
Definitely relate. I only have a handful of close girlfriends, but I really wish I had more. I love having girlfriends and building that sense of sisterhood.
My problem is that I'm so scared of saying something wrong or giving the wrong impression that I come off really awkward and stiff. I wish I could loosen up, but I want to make girlfriends so badly that I turn into a socially inept 13 y/o boy lol. I don't care at all when it comes to guys (they rarely intimidate me), but that's because I don't care what they really think of me. I need to work on doing that to girls too.
I'm pretty good at talking to girls I'm friends with or girls who are friends of my friends. But girls I'm not comfortable with/don't know well… is a different story. I get kinda of nervous and I feel like I come off as bitchy because I feel like I have to display myself in a better light so that they like me. And then I feel like they don't like me so I get even more awkward. It's a wave of emotions
I don't even see other girls as competition or particularly dislike them, I'm just scared shitless because I was bullied by assorted girls for 12 years straight since my 1st day of school. Even if they're the nicest people in the world I'm just scared they'll find something they don't like about me and suddenly turn on me out of nowhere.
I don't like men either because all I ever hear about are stories about fuckboys and guys who'll say anything for sex, but at least I can be friends with them. I'm not particularly attractive or voluptuous so it's not hard and they're nice as casual friends.
I find it a lot easier to talk to women than to men. I feel like we have more in common usually. They also don't think that talking to them means you want to have sex with them.
However I do feel like they are competition sometimes too and get negative feelings towards them. I think it stems from my mom telling me when I was younger 'Look at that girl, she is more beautiful/ more talented/ better at school/… than you. I wish you were more like her.'
I'm ashamed of feeling like this.
I've been bullied a lot by men so I find it easier to talk to girls, and to relate to them.
I suck at making friends so it doesn't really matter anyway lol
I used to be the "I'm not like the other girls" girl since I grew up with only men/boys and the only female figures in my life were my mother, who was emotionally/verbally abusive and my aunt who I barely saw.
I didn't have a lot of common interest with girls and I was really introverted, so yea… Glad I grew out of it, looking back at it it was really really embarrassing.
Honestly I feel like most girls go through the "not like other girls" phase, especially when they have more "nerdy" interests. Yeah, it's embarrassing but recognizing it for how toxic it was shows how much you've grown and developed as a person. I know a few women who are near their 30s and still have the mentality. I feel bad for them.
i think i can talk equally well to both, it just depends on the actual person. i've had bad luck being friends with women. not because of women in general, just most of my women friends ended up moving away in the past few years. a lot of times i've tried to befriend women, they end up bullying me and acting like i'm the bitch for standing up to them. i used to be into cosplay but since i've gravitated away from that it's harder for me to meet new people(it also had a lot of toxic people in the community) still, i want to me more girls and have more girl friends since i'm so into fashion, nails, beauty, and cute things in general. it's just so hard, very few people i know, other than my fiance care about that stuff.
>>2246>I feel like I come off as bitchy because I feel like I have to display myself in a better light so that they like me.
I'm the exact same, I always come off as stuck up because I can't help but try and show them I'm not completely useless and of course it sounds like I'm bragging because I'm not charismatic in the slightest>>2258
It's one of the reasons I want female friends too, and sometimes it feels like other girls just simply join communities related to these things and make friends there. I don't know how to do that
same, i don't even know where to go.
Girls actually have standards and won't like you by default just because you have a vagina. So yeah, they're harder to make friends with and I personally really struggle with it because I'm shy and awkward and they (rightfully) don't enjoy it. I never have any drama with them though.
Men are very easy to make friends with if they find you attractive, because they put lots of effort into it and want to impress you. If they don't find you attractive they just ignore you, so you're not put in the position of trying to be friends with them anyway.
That said, I have more female friends than male friends. Just because men are easy to make friends with doesn't mean I WANT to be friends with them.
I used to find making female friends really easy until a few years ago. I was able to find a sort of camaraderie in other girls but now I just resent them and always find flaws in myself by looking at other women.
Similarly, I've been putting distance between myself and other girls (irl, at least) because they're interested in different things and they just look so different, which makes me cringe because I know that is just another "I'm not like other girls" trope which is SO DUMB because I clearly love makeup and shopping just as much as them. I'm not even a ~~gamer girl~~~ but they look like instagram girls with big asses and a tan. I feel like an outsider and I want to die. I feel almost lesser?
I know it's awful and self-loathing to do this. I think this outlook is because of any relationships that I've been in, I've noticed my boyfriend checking out other girls so I'm out here acting like everyone is my enemy.>>2262>If they don't find you attractive they just ignore you
Unless you find yourself talking to some PUA redpiller, then they will pull this sort of game on you to try to confuse you.
I don't know why people find it so hard to find good female friends. Is the bimbo, boy craze, super competitive type of gal REALLY the majority? Maybe I think that because I'm not competitive myself and only have a handful of friends I really like to hang out with and they're not like that. Eh.
I just hate the girl vs girl complex that society has created. I feel so defensive around new girls a lot and constantly afraid that I'm going to somehow mess up talking to them.
>>2268> Is the bimbo, boy craze, super competitive type of gal REALLY the majority?
I don't think that's the issue at all. I mean sure in like high school that's a phase a lot of typical girls will go though just like boys often go through a cringey macho sex crazed phase, and nerdy girls often go through a highlander phase (every time I think of mine I want to die) but most people grow out of it and develop actual personalities. Some people will always be awful but that's a different discussion.
Even after getting out of that phase though, there's still residual societal influence + our own awkwardness + it just being harder when you're an adult who never learned how to do it properly as a kid/it getting generally harder to make friends as an adult.
Online it's easy to find those girls because they put themselves on blast for attention but of people I meet irl, girls who stay like that past highschool/college are the minority. Finding girls I want to get to know better isn't an issue, it's befriending them (which is more an issue with me than them).
I personally don't see any girl vs girl animosity on a daily basis, then again the kind of girls I hang out with aren't like that at all.
And that's another thing. I get that some women are lowkey hoes and act like NLOGs because they like cock too much or whatever, but I also hate the whole "gurlz r supposed to b frandz n build each other up!" shit because the people who say that are often the biggest snakes who themselves like to tear others down to make themselves look better. Plus, not everyone gets along with everyone and that's okay.
>which is SO DUMB because I clearly love makeup and shopping just as much as them. I'm not even a ~~gamer girl~~~ but they look like instagram girls with big asses and a tan.
In my experience girls like that tend to be incredibly vapid and dumb so I avoid them too. Like, I'm not going to assume they're like that until I've spoken to them, of course - one of my college classmates looks like an instaho but that's her thing and she likes it that way, she's actually a very kind and smart lady and I like her a lot. It's just that an overwhelming majority of the 'baddies' I do end up talking to turns out to be fucking retarded. I'm allowed to not like them and I don't mind that they probably don't like me either. Doesn't mean I don't like women in general or that I'll be mean to them just because I can, I just avoid them.
I had a pretty hard time with this for a long time. I found it way easier to make friends with guys than I did with girls, then I realized boys were giving me an easy in only because they wanted to fuck me. I kept getting really discouraged by my male friendships because it never seemed like they actually wanted to be friends with me. Since, I've started making more female relationships and I've found them to be so much more fulfilling, honestly.
It's hard for me to talk to girls and guys tbqh. I think because my personality is equal parts masculine and feminine, so it's difficult to relate to either gender fully. With guys, I can get along with them well if they're nice enough, but there are usually girl topics that they don't care for, and the disgusting attitude that a lot of guys have as well as bad experiences with my ex kind of puts me off of seeking out communication with them too often. With girls it's kind of the same, in that there are certain topics that would just be more open if I was talking to a guy. I had some really awesome girl friends when I was in school though, but in all honesty I find it harder to find them on the internet given that it could be so malecentric at times (there are no girls on the internet hurr.)
I really wish I could make more friends.
I've never had a "not like the other girls" phase because I've been in an all-girls school since I was 3 until I turned 18yo. The thing with all-female environments is that we're not exposed to these outside expectations and nonsense "roles" and there was no competition between us except for academic reasons. Because of this, it has always been well-ingrained in me that there's no such thing as "other women".
With that said, being thrown out into the cold real world was a bit of a shock because I'd look for relationships like those I had in school only to find that most women were interested in completely different things or would try to be competitive or rude for no reason. Despite being kept apart from men for 15 years I managed to make some male friends (mostly gay guys) but I find that men, while usually cordial and polite when they interact, tend to ignore my presence and make me feel invisible.
So yeah, I have ~3 girl friends that I kept from my old school and see some times a year, I guess it's better than nothing.
I miss having a group of nerdy female friends. There was one year in HS where there was like 4 of us, and we all read the sisterhood of the traveling pants and attempted to do the same with a necklace since we where all different sizes.
It didn't work out though, I kept the necklace and I only keep in contact with one of the girls. She's been my friend for years.
The majority of my friends are female and my "not like the other girls" phase was just feeling inferior to other girls. Like the average girl was barbie and I was just a ratty sock puppet. I still feel a bit like a muppet compared to other women since I'm in my 20s and don't know how to fashion or make up, but now I realize that's OK and women who like me, like me for my personality anyway.
Idk why but I don't find men that interesting? Besides my bf, I have one male friend I talk to regularly. Kinda sucks I didn't turn out gay.
Not really, tbh. My drama/bullshit detector is off the charts, so I don't have any trouble avoiding bitches.
I'm also just not a very confrontational or competitive person by nature either, so other girls don't typically try and start drama with me.
I think it's more to do with what you have in common with someone and past experiences with similar kinds of people than gender, but I still am very much more relaxed when talking to guys. Not necessarily because I see women as actual people compared to men, but more because I think I have the mind of a guy's I guess?? I mean, this past year I was surrounded by only my brother and my boyfriend, so I've been influenced by them a lot and have become more like them. Usually I keep myself anonymous, and therefore genderless, online and talking to people in discord or whatever. When people find out you're a girl they treat you differently and I hate it. I'd rather be banned than stay because of my sexual organs. I don't have any girl friends anymore, so maybe that's why I feel some pressure to befriend them so much. With a lot of guys I feel I can be more relaxed with them, especially when we share some interests. I just want to meet another girl who has a sick obsession with movies.
>>5537> I think I have the mind of a guy's I guess??
I can assure you men do not agree with you on this
In general I think women are just a bit hard to find similar hobbies with sometimes. I have a pretty equal amount of female/male friends but for casual conversations at school I do talk to guys more because its easier to make smalltalk about internet jokes and whatnot usually
Sorry coulnd't contain myself
I honestly think my problem possibly lies in the fact that girls are usually quite mature, organised, pretty, responsible, perfectly styled hair - everything I am not. They give me an inferiority complex. I always get nervous and screw up or sound like a total dickhead in front of them. There's none of that with guys because they're idiots too. Although I wouldn't say I fit in with their 'culture' either. So basically I'm just socially inept.
That's the impression every girl gives to each other, subconscious competition, don't fall for it.
>>6344>mature, organised, pretty, responsible, perfectly styled hair
I don't really see this, I see them as funny, outgoing, and entertaining conversationalists. They're good at being silly and having fun with each other. I'm really quiet at work but my office filled with girls is always having hilarious conversations I don't feel confident joining because I'm so awkward and serious in comparison. I'd actually consider myself more like the things you said, but if I'm not sociable at the same time it's not going to endear me to anyone.
I think the way that women are brought up and socialized, and not women in general, are at fault for why I tend not to befriend other women. They generally have the qualities that I dislike in both genders.
I have maybe one or two female friends whom I keep close for the sole reason that they don't need to talk to me or hang out regularly. We can go months without speaking and when we start again it's not a problem.
Society celebrates women for having mediocre looks, mediocre intellect, mediocre work ethic, etc. etc. Scholarships exist for women simply because they are women, which women should find patronizing, but which many of them do not.
Essentially all of the women I know are much more ready to seek help, work together, etc. than figure things out themselves when faced with some sort of challenge.
A lot of women have primarily consumptive interests; not a lot of them take art, writing, building things, etc., seriously. I don't have too much respect for people who only have consumptive interests and hobbies. Just a matter of personal taste.
Aside from all of those, I'm also not surrounded by many women as I'm studying in a STEM field, and the other women in STEM that I know are the type to make a big fuss about being a ~ woman in STEM ~ which I tend to avoid, as I think that's part of the overly congratulatory culture that allows women to be content with mediocrity.
I don't have a lot of male friends either, because not a lot of people in general fit my criteria and don't irritate me, but it's a lot easier for me to find men who are devoid of the traits I've mentioned above. I have actual friendships with these men because they respect me as a person, and I turn down any possible advances they could make immediately. This goes beyond just saying "no"; I completely break off all contact if they're persistent. Hopefully this helps some of you who have male friends only because they are attracted to you
Before going to female oriented image boards I didn't even know that was a problem among women. I've always befriended girls even though I was a social outcast for the most part.
hmm, thinking about it actually, I think I am inclined to agree.
I concentrate on these things because those are my only weaknesses. I would say I'm quite physically attractive but I often feel that's the only quality I really have. I've no idea why I'm suddenly admitting to this on the internet though. Thanks for your input, Anon! I found it encouraging.
Same. I've been a social loser my whole life but it's always been infinitely easier for me to befriend women. I always get shocked by women who are more comfortable around men, like it just doesn't compute in my brain for some reason
Can't tell if this is bait or not, but I guess I'll bite.
>>I think the way that women are brought up and socialized, and not women in general, are at fault for why I tend not to befriend other women. They generally have the qualities that I dislike in both genders.
So, basically women in general have qualities you dislike, and therefore you tend not to befriend other women. I get you don't want to appear like a prick by including the disclaimer about women being the way they are through socialization when it doesn't matter why they "are the way they are", to you they still "tend" to have qualities you dislike.
What exact women are you talking about? Besides the daughters of socialites, I think people do celebrate women who are stunning, whether that be because of their looks, their intellect, or their work ethic.
>>dependent >>Essentially all of the women I know
I have no idea how you could come to this conclusion. I have met some women who are willing to seek help, but the vast majority I know are too proud and/or are scared of being perceived as weak to seek help, including myself. This is actually considered a weakness to me, I respect people far more who are willing to admit they need help and go outside of themselves to get it, especially because my STEM major is all about teams and research and I am not naturally good at going outside of myself at all. >>incompatible interests>> a lot of women have primarily consumptive interests
I find it bizarre how you make lots of sweeping generalizations about women and act like it's fact almost. It rubs me the wrong way. Anyway, I don't understand how this one applies mainly to women because it's not like i know a lot of guys who don't have consumptive interests either. A lot of girls I know are interested in art, dance, journaling, making zines, etc. so idk what is up with where you live, I guess.
>>I'm not like other girls, I don't care that I'm studying to be in a STEM field, unlike them
Uh, but it is a big deal. A lot of girls don't get raised encouraged to go into science, a lot of girls still drop out of their STEM major, a lot of STEM fields are male dominated, so even in university/college, it can be very frustrating getting harassed by male students, it is frustrating being held to a higher standard than men do, especially in terms of you being considered an example of your gender, it is frustrating being discriminated against professors who refuse to help women "unless they prove themselves in my class", etc.
Plus, there are plenty of women who hold these same views as you at my college. This is going to sound hypocritical, but from your post, you seem to be in a personal bubble of judgement.
>> I turn down any possible advances they could make immediately. This goes beyond just saying "no"; I completely break off all contact if they're persistent. Hopefully this helps some of you who have male friends only because they are attracted to you
This is such bullshit. I have done this exact approach and have gotten death threats, etc. That was fortunately from a person who wasn't in my major, but think. If you are like that to people in your own major, a major dominated by men, you're going to be labelled a certain way, and that could easily affect the quality of your schooling in a negative way. "Turning down any possible advances" is also risky because if a person exhibits behavior that could mean they are interested in you, but it could also technically innocuous, if you "turn it down" or say something, you don't want to be demonized as someone who thinks they're hot shit.
I guess I find your overall post hard to believe and if it isn't a robot, it appears full of denial and like you think you're above all the shit these "medicore" women think, like, etc.
>>6375>So, basically women in general have qualities you dislike, and therefore you tend not to befriend other women. I get you don't want to appear like a prick by including the disclaimer about women being the way they are through socialization when it doesn't matter why they "are the way they are", to you they still "tend" to have qualities you dislike.
Sure, this is a fair interpretation. I meant that there are some women who have not been brought up in a way that is conducive to them being the kinds of women I am describing in my post. (Myself, for example, obviously)
>I think people do celebrate women who are stunning, whether that be because of their looks, their intellect, or their work ethic.
This wasn't my point. I meant that women with mediocre or even below-average looks, for example, are praised as though they're above-average, mostly by friends or desperate men. The threshold for "smart" is much lower for women than it is for men. The lower expectations placed on women, and the leniency with which we are treated, is actually based in sexism IMHO.
>I have met some women who are willing to seek help, but the vast majority I know are too proud and/or are scared of being perceived as weak to seek help, including myself.
Cool, that's your experience. >I have no idea how you could come to this conclusion.
Probably because the set of women that I know are different from the set of women that you know. >my STEM major is all about teams and research and I am not naturally good at going outside of myself at all.
There's a difference between networking and actually needing other people. You're just bad at networking.
>Anyway, I don't understand how this one applies mainly to women because it's not like i know a lot of guys who don't have consumptive interests either.
Yes, I mentioned that in the last part of my posts. Not a lot of guys are up to my standards either.
>A lot of girls I know are interested in art, dance, journaling, making zines, etc. so idk what is up with where you live, I guess.
You're right, it must be an issue of where I live.
>Uh, but it is a big deal. A lot of girls don't get raised encouraged to go into science, a lot of girls still drop out of their STEM major, a lot of STEM fields are male dominated, so even in university/college, it can be very frustrating getting harassed by male students, it is frustrating being held to a higher standard than men do, especially in terms of you being considered an example of your gender, it is frustrating being discriminated against professors who refuse to help women "unless they prove themselves in my class", etc.
I have never faced any of these issues, and I have never met a woman who has faced these issues given that she is legitimately talented. Both men and women ask me for help understanding concepts covered in class very frequently. If a girl feels as though she "can't" go into STEM because she's afraid she'll get made fun of, she's probably does not have the mental fortitude to excel in a competitive STEM environment. This isn't bad, it just means that she is poorly suited to that particular field. It's best if she stays out of it. This is another example of being emotionally needy. Women should learn to accept criticism.
>This is such bullshit. I have done this exact approach and have gotten death threats, etc. That was fortunately from a person who wasn't in my major, but think. If you are like that to people in your own major, a major dominated by men, you're going to be labelled a certain way, and that could easily affect the quality of your schooling in a negative way.
I keep hearing about these "death threats" and yet I never seem to see them around. I'm not sure where all of these sociopathic men are coming from. >"Turning down any possible advances" is also risky because if a person exhibits behavior that could mean they are interested in you, but it could also technically innocuous, if you "turn it down" or say something, you don't want to be demonized as someone who thinks they're hot shit.
I'm not an idiot, I don't burn bridges so frivolously. I only turn down blatant advances, like being asked out on a date explicitly. I'm not bitchy about it, pretend like I'm flattered, etc., but I will (again) cut off all contact if they continue to be persistent, as I don't have the patience to keep saying no. The law exists to protect me if any further action needs to get taken, and it's incredibly easy to ignore someone.
>I guess I find your overall post hard to believe and if it isn't a robot, it appears full of denial and like you think you're above all the shit these "medicore" women think, like, etc.
I apologize if it made you feel that way. My post was a reflection of my personal tastes in people. So yes, in a way, the people who fit the characteristics that I mentioned are "not good enough" for me to associate with in the same way that I'm probably "not good enough" for you to associate with because of my own outlook on things.
You sound so brainwashed by men it's not even funny (actually, it is kind of funny that you think they respect you). Spend less time on /r9k/ or wherever is convincing you that mediocre women are getting handed scholarships left right and centre (even if they were, that is not a trait women exhibit, it's just something they experience) or women don't have 'real' hobbies. Maybe you don't realize because of your lack of interaction with women, but making art and writing is a ridiculously common interest for girls, for example.
I had a hard time relating to almost everyone anyway until some years ago but I always trusted girls more than guys because I used to be bullied by boys and the few male relatives I have are either really violent assholes or living abroad. That and the fact that my insane parents prevented me from communicating with boys my age until I reach 18 because they think that men and women can't be friends and every guy had ulterior motives made me scared of men in general even though now I'm doing better with them. But because of this I almost only had female friends, but not many of them because I wasn't enough of a normie for most people my age and a lot of girls went through the "I'm not like other girls" phase and avoided each other. I really can't relate to any of the posts where you guys say you're more at ease with men, since it's the reverse for me.
What makes you think that men don't respect me? I don't spend time on /r9k/; in fact, the only image board or forum I visit is this one.
>mediocre women are getting handed scholarships left right and centre (even if they were, that is not a trait women exhibit, it's just something they experience)
Merit-based scholarships are certainly not getting handed out to anyone who is mediocre, but affirmative action does ensure that women are accepted into STEM programs, are awarded scholarships, etc., even if they have a more highly qualified male counterpart.
The trait I mentioned is actually complacence, which arises from mediocrity being rewarded in such a way. Please read my posts a bit more carefully next time.
>or women don't have 'real' hobbies
I never said that consumptive hobbies aren't "real".
>Maybe you don't realize because of your lack of interaction with women, but making art and writing is a ridiculously common interest for girls, for example.
Perhaps this is true for the women that you know. I personally interact with and meet many women, and I cannot say the same. I wouldn't be making any of these statements if I had little interaction with women.
What "kind" of women are you meeting? If I may ask, which male dominated field are you in?
STEM is used so broadly, even though some of its disciplines have very different structures - it's almost meaningless in a social-sexual context. I know more women pursue engineering than pure mathematics, for instance (despite math classes being almost 50/50 at my uni), which changes the social structure almost immediately.
I do have the feeling that, since this thread is mainly about female relationships, people are getting defensive, even if you might hold similar thoughts towards men. >>6382
I kind of want to mention that talent does not encapsulate the majority of people who excel in STEM, or elsewhere, and genuine hard-work and persistence does. People, such as men, can respect hard-work and diligence and it's belittling for you to be so presumptuous in this regard.
I'm genuinely curious about why you're on an imageboard for when you seem to dislike women so much and can't get along with them.
Also no offence but maybe if you have a hard time befriending women have you ever thought that maybe you're the problem not them? You seem to be already prejudiced about how women are so you're more likely to view the in a negative light, regardless of whether they're is something wrong with them or not. You seem to belittle women simply because they have interests that you deem superficial and generally come off as having a general holier than thou attitude which is often putting when trying to befriend someone, hence why you may have a harder time making female friends.
Just my unsolicited advice but try being more open-minded when meeting women and maybe if you got a chance to know them better you'd realise that they actually have various kinds of hobbies. There are probably other women like you so maybe you're not looking for friends in the right place. There are 7 people in this world and approximately half of them are women, trust me there are plenty of women who fit your criteria.
I'm a dual physics/computer science major, but I'm also part of the debate team so I meet a diverse range of people.
>I kind of want to mention that talent does not encapsulate the majority of people who excel in STEM, or elsewhere, and genuine hard-work and persistence does. People, such as men, can respect hard-work and diligence and it's belittling for you to be so presumptuous in this regard.
That's true, but I believe in "work smart, not hard". Anyone can study STEM and succeed at it. >>6430
I don't dislike women.
>Also no offence but maybe if you have a hard time befriending women have you ever thought that maybe you're the problem not them? You seem to be already prejudiced about how women are so you're more likely to view the in a negative light, regardless of whether they're is something wrong with them or not. You seem to belittle women simply because they have interests that you deem superficial and generally come off as having a general holier than thou attitude which is often putting when trying to befriend someone, hence why you may have a harder time making female friends.
I have many casual friends, both male and female (and in equal proportion). I don't see how there is a "problem" in me not having a lot of female friends.
>Just my unsolicited advice but try being more open-minded when meeting women and maybe if you got a chance to know them better you'd realise that they actually have various kinds of hobbies. There are probably other women like you so maybe you're not looking for friends in the right place. There are 7 people in this world and approximately half of them are women, trust me there are plenty of women who fit your criteria.
I'll take this into account, thanks. I don't actively go out looking for friends, it's not a priority of mine.
Most men fall into these categories as well, so it's not anything unique to women or female socialization.
Women are more moody and creeped out by "weirdness" or awkwardness than men are but are usually more empathetic and intimate. That b eing said, I prefer the company of women still.
>>6382>>women with mediocre or even below-average looks, for example, are praised as though they're above-average, mostly by friends or desperate men. The threshold for "smart" is much lower for women than it is for men. The lower expectations placed on women, and the leniency with which we are treated, is actually based in sexism.
How is that specific to women, though? Plenty of people are lenient about the quality of their guy friends' work/pursuits, same as people who are interested in a man for romantic/sexual purposes and glorify his work to stroke his ego, be seen as favorable by him, etc. I feel like it's a human characteristic to be naturally more supportive of your friends and their pursuits, even if they are not the best at what they enjoy doing. That has nothing to do with gender.
Now, for random people, I think it's the opposite. Women are judged harsher than men for similar kinds of work. Great example: lolcow.farm, PrettyUglyLittleLiar.net, etc. sans the appearance comments. People are harsher and more likely to call out a girl for something they'd let a guy get away with (the only area I'd say where this isn't true is in sexual assualt), people are more likely to call a girl dumb for something whereas if a guy did it, people would try to be more understanding.
>>There's a difference between networking and actually needing other people. You're just bad at networking.
No, it isn't networking, we are encouraged by our school to get into groups for study, it is even a requirement for some of the classes I take. It's not that I am bad at "networking", it's that I don't like having to learn something for the first time in a group of a people. I would rather be by myself where I can think my own thoughts instead of being distracted by other voices trying to explain something (I have horrible audio memory retention).
Again, I have no idea why you seem to see being by oneself as such a strength or a true mark of intelligence.
Also, you are so incredibly condescending, it is rather revolting. If you are anything like this in real life, it is hard for me to believe people geniunely respect you as a person.
>>I have never faced any of these issues, and I have never met a woman who has faced these issues given that she is legitimately talented.
So what? Others who are "legitimately talented" have spoken and written about their experiences in male dominated industries. Just because you don't face these issues and haven't yet met a person who has doesn't mean it's a real phenomenon. It's also possible you do experience these issues, but don't believe you do. >>If a girl feels as though she "can't" go into STEM because she's afraid she'll get made fun of, she's probably does not have the mental fortitude to excel in a competitive STEM environment. This isn't bad, it just means that she is poorly suited to that particular field. It's best if she stays out of it.
There is a difference between feeling like you can't go into a STEM field and feeling apprehensive about going into a STEM field. Saying that "it's best if she stays out of it" is interesting because what about girls who are "legitimately talented" and could excel and make a difference in their fields, but don't because of harassment, etc. Sure, one could throw their hands up in the air and say "it's best that they stay out of it", but wouldn't it be even better if the attitudes that negatively affect women in STEM fields could be reduced? It's also interesting that there are plenty of emotionally needy men that when they want to quit STEM fields, they are not going to be counselled like a woman would: to leave and switch majors or jobs. They are often counselled to continue and fight (this is a very interesting mindset that boys tend to be raised with instead of girls, it's fascinating).
Overall, you seem to be an embodiment of the stereotypical girl on the playground who proclaims that she's not like other girls and is the only gal smart enough to hang out with the boys. >>6418>>what makes you think men don't respect me
you can't be serious>>anti-affirmative action
Would love to discuss this more, but I'd like to respond to everything else first. >>please read my posts a bit more carefully next time
why do you seemingly have
to add passive-agressive shit all over your posts? no need to be rude.>>i never said consumptive hobbies aren't "real">>6360>>i don't have too much respect for people who only have consumptive interests and hobbies
no, those weren't your exact words, but what >>6411
meant (I think) was that you don't respect consumptive hobbies, like you said.
I didn't say it was specific just to women, but there is a higher incidence of that particular phenomenon where women are involved. Average women are celebrated much more than average men.
Those are examples of websites filled with mentally unstable people (women, incidentally). All it proves is that women are more judgemental than men. There are men on those websites who are also judged harshly.
>No, it isn't networking, we are encouraged by our school to get into groups for study, it is even a requirement for some of the classes I take.
That's what networking is. Again, it's one thing to be able to work with other people and it is another thing entirely to need them to help you figure things out. > I would rather be by myself where I can think my own thoughts instead of being distracted by other voices trying to explain something (I have horrible audio memory retention).
It's incredibly easy to block people out and pretend that you're still listening. It's a very valuable skill and I suggest that you try to work on it.
>Also, you are so incredibly condescending, it is rather revolting. If you are anything like this in real life, it is hard for me to believe people geniunely respect you as a person.
I typically don't have conversations like this with the kinds of people I'd give this sort of advice to. It's not worth getting into it with people I don't spend a lot of time around. Boards like this provide a venue for discussion like this.
>It's also possible you do experience these issues, but don't believe you do.
I get this sometimes by the types of women to complain about mistreatment in STEM. I find it kind of ironic how it's an attempt to invalidate my own experience.
>There is a difference between feeling like you can't go into a STEM field and feeling apprehensive about going into a STEM field. Saying that "it's best if she stays out of it" is interesting because what about girls who are "legitimately talented" and could excel and make a difference in their fields, but don't because of harassment, etc.
They're not legitimately talented if they are deterred by something so trivial.
>It's also interesting that there are plenty of emotionally needy men that when they want to quit STEM fields, they are not going to be counselled like a woman would: to leave and switch majors or jobs. They are often counselled to continue and fight (this is a very interesting mindset that boys tend to be raised with instead of girls, it's fascinating).
Yes, this is the correct way to go about things. That's exactly what I was bringing up earlier, actually. Women are taught to give up far too easily.
>Overall, you seem to be an embodiment of the stereotypical girl on the playground who proclaims that she's not like other girls and is the only gal smart enough to hang out with the boys.
Boys aren't smart simply by virtue of the fact that they're boys.
>you can't be serious
? I still don't see an answer to this question.
>why do you seemingly have to add passive-agressive shit all over your posts? no need to be rude.
I could argue the same about you. I genuinely do wish you would read things more carefully before responding.
>no, those weren't your exact words, but what >>6411 meant (I think) was that you don't respect consumptive hobbies, like you said.
Sure, it's a personal taste. They're hobbies, but they're hobbies I don't particularly respect or like.
>>6547>>Average women are celebrated much more than average men.
We agree to disagree. My life has led me to see that the average woman is torn down far more than she will ever be celebrated when compared to the average man. >>Those are examples of websites filled with mentally unstable people (women, incidentally). All it proves is that women are more judgemental than men. There are men on those websites who are also judged harshly.
Maybe lolcow.farm, but I don't see PULL as being "filled" with mentally unstable people. There are far less men who are documented on those websites than women, despite the fact that are as many male internet personalities. Even if they are judged harshly, they are not nitpicked in every aspect of their life as the women are>>That's what networking is.
In the context of my college, the connotation of networking is different. >>It's incredibly easy to block people out and pretend that you're still listening. It's a very valuable skill and I suggest that you try to work on it.
That breeches my values of being honest and upfront with people, I would rather not. >>I find it kind of ironic how it's an attempt to invalidate my own experience.
I wrote that it was possible, not that it was for certain. If you haven't been treated differently because of your gender, that's great. It's just not the norm. >>They're not legitimately talented if they are deterred by something so trivial
You keep on equating someone not being legitmately talented with whether someone has experienced and/or is bothered by sexism in a STEM field. This is a narrow view of what legitimate talent is and doesn't account for the fact that there are women who are talented, have done well in their field, and speak about the sexism they experience. It also doesn't account for the fact that the reason that some women stay silent (silent as in seemingly don't complain about sexism) is because they don't want reprecussions of speaking out against their co-workers/classmates/professors/bosses. >>That's exactly what I was bringing up earlier, actually. Women are taught to give up far too easily.
Is that supposed to fall under the blanket characteristic of "emotionally needy"? Otherwise, you didn't explicitly bring that up.>>I genuinely do wish you would read things more carefully before responding.
I only wish you weren't rude and condescending. It would make this conversation go easier if you didn't have to include constant reminders that you think I lack reading comprehension, am bad at x, etc.
You have never answered my question as to why you think working alone is better than having an approach of seeking help.
>Average women are celebrated much more than average men.
No they aren't, women are constantly shit upon by everyone. On top of that it's been repeatedly shown that women are far more realistic in their their own self evaluations- wether it be work performance, attractiveness, whatever. Any praise that average women get is a small drop in the bucket compared to how much their shit on, while men are constantly coodled and as a result are arrogant, entitled shits.
a little off topic, but why don't you respect art and writing? is it because it's a "woman's hobby" now?
legitimately talented STEM field anon pls respond >>6508
No, legitimately talented anon said she only respects hobbies that aren't consumptive and she thinks women are generally into more consumptive hobbies rather than creative hobbies, which is not reality imo.
For a STEM they don't really know what they're talking about, and there's really no excuse because this has been studied extensively.
I just banter with people and hang out with whoever seems cool. If you see other girls as competition that might just be a confidence issue. Not trying to be rude of course.
ah i see, was confused. thought she meant that she saw art/writing as consumptive hobbies that aren't respectable. super gomen.
I don't think I necessarily never liked women so much as I feared them? men are easy to talk to because society essentially gives you a script to do it, I actually like women and see them as multidimensional people which is intimidating. I still have issues talking to them…
As one of the few anons itt who doesn't get why it's so hard to befriend other women, what's the script?
Went to an all girls school for 13 years. From kindergarten to senior year, almost the same bitches every weekday. Mind you, I wasnt "actively" bullied but I was made fun of (by only some cunts) because I was "shy" (I dont think I was shy at all, I just didnt like to speak up when I didnt care about something, and that i wasnt boy-crazy didnt help). Its been many many years since I graduated but I still remember the "bullying" and how women act . This is why I like to hang out with men more than women, they are more upfront and no bullshit nor hypocrisy .
Idk man, the perspective shaped by your experiences still screams internalized misogyny. You acknowledge that only some girls perpetuated bullying against you, but you also call most of your classmates bitches.
Generalizing that into how women are in opposition to how men act is naive. There are plenty of hypocritical and bullshit men. The world is full of shit people.
Well, tbf she didn't go to school with males so she has no experience with how nasty they are at that age too. I was bullied by both sexes, but at least girls didn't go out of their way to proudly tell me how disgusting and unattractive they thought I was.
True, I didnt. But my brother and sister did and she never had any problem. BUt I believe you when you say they were nasty. Sorry you had to go through that.>>6906
When I was saying "bitches" I was just using it as a descriptive word, didnt really mean it like literally they were bitches/assholes. But since we were all women I got to see how so many of them were superficial as fuck, backstabbing drama queens.
I still have girlfriends that Ive had since college, none from school tho because it just brings bad memories.
Also forgot to say that the "group" i was in completely fucked me over during our senior year so that definitely didnt help the bad memories I had from those years.
>>6906>There are plenty of hypocritical and bullshit men. The world is full of shit people.
Let's be real though, the difference is that men will put on an act in front of women to get on their good side and will suck up to them in order to get into their pants. Women aren't going to like someone just because they have a vagina, you have to actually give them a reason to.
A lot of women will just hate you for what appears to be no fucking reason at all tho (while in reality is because they are jealous of something about you/something you have), while guys just dont give a fuck.
I have always wanted female friends but I have a hard time making them. I like watching slice of life anime about groups of girl friends and pretending I'm one of them… I'm loving Anime Gataris this season, wish I had slightly maladjusted weeb friends like that.
i only have a few girl friends, but most of them are normies, or just on the cusp. i'm into animu, jfash, kawaii shit etc. and girls with those hobbies tend to be super toxic, insecure and have big, fragile egos. i used to get bullied by girls in my cosplay group who i would try to befriend, because they were jealous. i don't feel i'm super attractive, but i am well put together and enjoy looking nice. i've just had bad experiences with those types of girls using me if i am being too nice, or bullying me and berating me for my small chest. i also have an azn bf, and i know weebs get jealous of that. i would stand up for myself and they'd get pissed off so i had enough and just dipped out.
normie chicks however are very docile and don't seem too put off or mean, if they are it's not to my face. i do still have a few friends who are into weebshit, but they are put together and not insecure.
i generally stay at home with my bf and watch anime, wishing i had friends who would come to my cute apartment and eat sweets with me.
>>6959>girls hate me because they're jealous!
Yeah, sure that's why they hate you.
>>6972>anon says insecure bitches are jelly of her>proceeds to talk about how her other girl friends are nice and not shit>OH ANON YOU MUST BE A TERRIBLE PERSON THAT'S WHY ALL GIRLS, AND NOT JUST THE SPECIFIC ONES YOU MENTIONED HATE YOU
Did you not read anything the anon said? Are you one of those weeb cunts? FFS, learn to actually read. I fucking hate shit like this. I know this site isn't a hug box but come the fuck on, this is totally uncalled for.
This>because they were jealous>… and i know weebs get jealous of that
Yeah, sounds like you totally didn't feel superior
isnt this how generalization about men works too?
A lot of weebs are mentally ill retards with inferiority complexes they project on others.
Stop picking fights, I'm already miserable about important stuff I don't need this imageboard bullcrap too.
>>6972>>6992>points out how people were bullying her>oh anon you're just a cunt
spotted the weebs
people on these boards tend to be bitter lonely pieces of shit anon. a girl board sounds nice sure, but most people here are the female equivalent of neckbeards.
despite having no contact with men (or anyone for that matter)>friendless
blames everyone else for not liking them>hikkikomori
blames others for their social anxieties>still live with parents
only because they have no job, they actually hate them>kissless virgins
again blaming others for not being attracted to them>bitter
especially when seeing other happy people
they're basically pic related irl
that's why >>6992
for one thing, despite her literally saying 'x type of person hates and bullies me but other people are great' it's super reaching female neckbeard logic.
Tbqh most anons here seem to be well adjusted and a fair share seem to be "normies"
>>7005>>kissless virgins>again blaming others for not being attracted to them
I've seen some kissless virgins post here but I haven't seen a single one blame other people for it. Men are mostly the ones prone to that behavior.
…now that I think about it I haven't seen any of the other things that you've mentioned either.
Okay, it may not be the majority, but they are here and they also tend to kick up dirt.
sage for samefag, but this entire thread has some of them in here tbh.
To be honest your post accusing everyone here of being NEET, perma-virgin, misandrists with toxic personalities looks like "kicking up dirt". This place isn't a gender swapped /r9k/ by any stretch. People have only been nice to me personally, and if you look at /feels/ everyone's really kind whenever people need help or just someone to moan at.
I rate CC a 8/10, easily.
yea, that's why i said there are -some- of them here. there are a lot ITT and most of the girls who bitch and moan fit that description. We don't have a huge userbase so it definitely seems like we have a lot for how small we are.
>>7004>immediately assuming the people who are bullying you are doing it because they're jealous>not a stuck-up cunt
You can only pick one
But for real, I don't understand weebs. A lot of them also seem to think they're the center of the universe for some reason
not that anon but man, this is some internalized misogyny right here. OP was trying to explain something and stand up for herself and everyone is saying she's the problem for something that is likely true? ffs, if she had worded it differently, every one of you would likely be saying 'oh anon they're probably just jealous' but instead you attack her for being blunt?
I feel this.>girl is too humble
oh look at her she's such a pushover she should stand up for herself!>girl is too straight forward
wow what a cunt, she should be more humble
Come on girls, we are in this together, don't bring eachother down. Stop the aggression. Everyone ITT is so salty about everyone posting.
Agree, I have weeb-ish hobbies (just watch/read anime and manga, which for some reason is already too much for most people here) but I wouldn't be part of the community to save my life>>7018>>7019
If she said "PROBABLY because they were jealous" or "from the specific way they acted I can only assume they were jealous" it would have been very different, yes.
It's not that I don't agree that it's likely that they were, it's just that confidently stating that anyone who doesn't like you is just jealous is a common strategy employed by stuck-up people to avoid facing the fact that they aren't likable. You can be straightforward and not come off as one of them, you know?
Anyway, I overreacted there. Sorry, anons.
I didn't have many friends in highschool, this probably had to due with the fact I was really weird LIKE REALLY FUCKING WEIRD during my teenage years. I don't blame people, I wouldn't talk to me either :/
I was also bullied really bad during that time as well and I kinda grew to hate women, which only grew more as I was treated like human shit by my sisters for not being as pretty as them and having the same interests.
I'm becoming more normal now, and can talk to people without feeling below them.
I hope I can get a group of female friends one day, the type to hang out when at my place when our favourite series begins, go out and see movies, discuss books, do brunch, random trips to interesting places, basic shit ya know? Things I never got to experience since I was a lonely loser all my teenage years, it sounds pathetic lol
Op here, you cunts can fuck off. You assume I am arrogant but you're the ones assuming shit. I was told by many other people that the two specific girls I am referring to were indeed jealous of me because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about me after I left. You cunts decided to hang on something irrelevant, excuse me for not going into every literal detail. Oh no, boohoo, anon isn't going to be neutral about people who bullied her out of her hobby, let's ignore everything and attack her instead. I already have friends who don't berate me and are nice people and I literally said that in my post. Fuck all of you cherry picking cunts, this shit is the reason people generalize women so much.
>Do fellow miners also have a hard time talking to girls?
Yep. My reason is pretty simple and different to yours. Girls are more sensitive generally speaking so I have to watch what I say around them and it gets nerve wracking and mentally exhausting sometimes especially when I want to leave a good impression. With men I can relax my filter.>>2243
Agree 100%>>2262>Men are very easy to make friends with if they find you attractive, because they put lots of effort into it and want to impress you. If they don't find you attractive they just ignore you, so you're not put in the position of trying to be friends with them anyway.
I've found this to be true in my experience as well. Sometimes I appreciate how simple men are, or at least how simple they make things for us.>>6553>source: my ass
Women in my experience are really shitty at taking and handling criticism, recognizing which feedback is actually helpful, and being unaffected by what others think.
>if you sleep around you're a slut but if you're a virgin then you're a prude! double-edged sword!!!!!!
stop caring what other people think and don't put your shit on blast
>guys always say that girls can't do math!
can you do math? are you a girl? if yes to both, then it's obviously not true.
>people always expect women to take on emotional labour in relationships!
so… stop doing that?
I don't have patience for that kin of stuff. women focus way too much on being socially accepted and being liked by everyone, it's repulsive and quite sad
I agree but men in my experience are also too much of the opposite, they come off as socially retarded and emotionally stupid.
Not the anon you're replying to, but I do agree with you.
I think a lot of the problems come from how kids are socialized and what behaviour they're taught is acceptable as children. (Pre-2000s era) Male children are not only allowed but expected to be more self-focused, if not outright selfish, and if a male child shows emotional sensitivity, high levels of empathy, or heaven forbid, timidity or shyness, it was considered that something was "wrong" with them. When you add that learned lack of empathy to the cultural push for male gaze they absorb as they age it just gets worse.
This. The worst are the "fuck those fake hoes, but do not dare to judge me!". Girls who possess traits that are considered desirable by other girls, so they put down the other girls. For example,>Fuck girls who get fake tits, mine all real>Lol these bitches drawing on freckles but mine are natural>Lol my curls are real ans these girls trying to be like me!!
Then if someone says shit that could apply to them, they screech autistically about female unity. The female insecurity is insane.
To be fair, the first two things you said are fucking stupid.
>>7273>they come off as socially retarded and emotionally stupid.
Holy fuck this. I really am astounded by how oblivious they can be, at times it's led me to consider if they all have some type of mild form of astigmatism or what. Though I'm sure it has more to do with socialization, it just can't be unseen.
Appearing socially retarded and emotionally stupid =/= astigmatism, though I get what you're trying to say about how people don't expect as much out of men generally, so they don't learn this stuff growing up.
A-utism, anon. This board filters it to say astigmatism.
Oh god, so much subconscious woman hate in this thread… I wish I could give some of you a hug.
I think my experience with women is very positive. All of my very close friends are female, I've known them for many years and our friendships are still going strong. Few of them have similar nerdy interests to me, but some of them are into make-up, tv and fashion (which is fine!). I can still vent to any of them about "muh fall of rome", "new anime season sucks". I will gladly listen about their problems/concers and give them any support they need too. Ah, I really love my female friends.
Thank you for a bit of positivity itt. Yeah, girls are awesome.
Huh. Is that new? I feel like I've seen a.utism spelled out before.
Also I guess I've responded a lot to other people's experiences, but I forgot to add that among my friends, the ones I'm closest to are girls. I still keep in touch with a small group of girls from high school. Although most of us have moved away and are doing other things, we still keep in touch.
I want to make new female friends in this new place, but I'm not in a hurry either way. It's kind of lonely, but I'm trying to work on myself mostly and hopefully connecting with other people (girls and not) will come with time.
I have very few female friends, but I wish I had more. There's just some stuff that I can't talk to my guy friends about. Mostly relationship stuff, because a lot of the guys I hang out with have subtly (or not-so-subtly) indicated a romantic or sexual interest in me already. Even if I've turned them down in the past, it still feels weird to discuss 'well, i'm seeing so-and-so, and I'm conflicted because x/y/z…'
Mostly with my guy friends we just hang out and watch anime and play vidya, pursue superficial mutual interests, but those aren't really deep friendships.
I think it kind of comes down to the relationship I had with my sister. I really looked up to her when I was younger and would essentially follow her around trying to earn her approval or just get her attention. She was popular, beautiful, athletic and smart, so she was basically my idol. But looking back on it now, I realize that my sister was actually kind of cruel to me. She was constantly putting me down, using me as a scapegoat, or tormenting me for her own amusement. At the time, I never thought of it as anything except normal, but now I look back and I realize that a lot of the self-esteem issues I had directly resulted from someone that I loved and admired continuously bullying me throughout my childhood and adolescence. Once she moved out of the house, my mental state improved dramatically.
The weird part is that now that I'm older and actually have my shit together, she wants to be friends. I remember distinctly the first time that we ever had a real, person-to-person conversation. I was 22. Twenty-two years on this earth with this person beside me for more than half, and she had never treated me like I was an equal until then.
So I guess I have this trust complex about other women. I get intimidated when they're too perfect, but even when they open up and are friendly towards me, there's a little voice in the back of my head that's screaming IT'S A TRAP the entire time. I get nervous because while I understand the motivation behind why a guy might want to hang out with me (get pussy), I don't understand what ulterior motivation would prompt another girl to do so. The last female friend who I considered really close took about $2500 from me in the form of unpaid rent, so I don't trust myself as a sound judge of character in these situations anymore.
>>7431> I still keep in touch with a small group of girls from high school.
I realized recently that there have been so many female friends in my life who I no longer keep in touch with, which is sad, but I remember them with such positive feelings. Like, I'm always thinking 'ah that girl was so nice/smart/hilarious/good at x, it was great being friends with her'. Whereas I completely forget about male friends I no longer talk to and never miss them.
One thing I'll admit is though ,female friends are more likely to bring up what you said in confidence to them a while ago or notice things they shouldn't notice and throw it in your face and effectively socially embarrass you.
I think thats mostly because men are completely oblivious.
Some are utterly oblivious, some are a bit too keen to catch on and just feigning obliviousness, the hard part is telling which is which.
One thing I dislike about this thread is that girls who don't like being friends with other girls in general or whatever have to come onto this thread and be like "but gIRLZ R BITCHEZ and wHINY and insert negative trait here
" >>7260>>source: my asshttp://www.prweb.com/releases/2014/03/prweb11671488.htm>>7269>>Women in my experience are really shitty at taking and handling criticism, recognizing which feedback is actually helpful, and being unaffected by what others think.
All in men I have met take criticism far worse than women. Men don't like to admit they are weak and tend to think there's nothing wrong with them.
I find the argument, "don't care about what others think" really short-sighted because…what others think of you affects your career, the connections you may be able to make or not make, etc. It does matter. It IS a problem that men can sleep around and not get any flak from it, whereas a women who sleeps around has her character called into question because that can directly affect her life depending on who hears about that. Men can AFFORD to put their "shit on blast" and not get the same amount of fallout a woman would.
Even if women can do math well, or better than her contemporaries…well, this is why women "quit". It isn't because women are affected by what others think and quit, it's because what others perceive about women directly makes it far more difficult for a woman to advance in her job so it isn't worth it for her to continue in her job. https://medium.com/tech-diversity-files/the-real-reason-women-quit-tech-and-how-to-address-it-6dfb606929fd
>>7488>One thing I dislike about this thread is that girls who don't like being friends with other girls in general or whatever have to come onto this thread and be like "but gIRLZ R BITCHEZ and wHINY and insert negative trait here"
Agreed. In my experience, both genders have the ability to be incredibly bitchy.
BOY, I hate my friends with a passion.
I'm fully aware that I only spend time with them because they're the only people that will hang out with me.
One is some cringy slut that breaks up with her boyfriends on FB messenger and lowkey bullies me; the other one is asexual but humps her bf whenever I have a beer at their place while bitching about her panic attaccs.
God I fucking loathe these people but I don't have the energy/confidence to just do my thing at uni and go 0 friends 0 communication.
Any other of my fellow vaginae in the same situation?(YOU CANT SIT WITH US)
Please be kind. Your words can hurt people, too.
And this isn't a hugbox just because its a girl oriented board. You need a reality check.
Whoa I didn't realize I'm dealing with an oldf*g here!
Why be rude when there is no reason? Does it make you feel better? Chances are probably not, so why do it?
Anonymous Admin 8202
There is a /meta/ thread to discuss the general tone of the board.
>>8200>mean for no reason>literally everywhere gets turned into a circlejerk because fees
Just drop the moe shit already because its nauseating. Like seriously, the moralist shit is so old and if you want admiration for it go over Reddit. People have different views, nobody's going to censor themselves for you.
Nah you can do that if you like but I prefer to post my way.
I agree there's no need to censor ourselves on here but at the same time people who complain hysterically about cc being or not being a hugbox always sound like cunts. Read your post again in the morning and see how extra you sound, yawn.
>>7273>they come off as socially retarded and emotionally stupid.
men tend to be more playful, I think it can be because of that
This might be related but even coming here I feel like an alien compared to over girls when I see people posting about how much they like house keeping. To each their own and all that but I just cannot understand it at all.
What about x or the feels board full of sadanons and people who don't fit in? Why would a single thread make you feel this way?
Yes, me. I mean I out a lot of effort into it and now can hold passable smalltalk, even lead it (because many people are actually really awkward), but most do not seem to have any interest in befriending me.
I met one person, ONE, who was happy about meeting a possible friend, despite many having similar interests. And she might be described as naive. Feels sort of bad.
I'm also friends with another grille, we are in a shared interest group that's pretty important, and literally ALL OF THE OTHERS are gender vegan hippies. She is in a metal band and I used to "be metal" too, so naturally we stick together. That's also nice.
I ACTIVELY TRIED making friends, in SEVERAL GROUPS I attended for that very reason, while not employed (so having lots of time), and I made a grand total of two friends. Two.
I made the housekeeping thread. Rest assured I do not "like" housekeeping. I realized I must do it because disorder is detrimental to my mental health. Actually I would live exactly like a Romanian gypsy given the chance.
Imagine there's different kinds of girls, anon.
sadness is just a human thing, not a girl thing >>20100
You're all taking this very personally, you're free to like whatever you want and I'm free to feel like I don't get it. No malice intended.>>20098
I understand about the disorder being detrimental thing. You're right, it is. I agree though, I kind of want to live in a cave
and it was my first time posting in this thread, Anon. I just think there's a lot of different kinds of girls and some like homemaking, some don't.
I mean that's fine, but I don't get it. I don't have to 'get it' because what I think doesn't matter to what other people do with their lives, but me saying I don't get it and it feels strange to me doesn't mean that's i'm making a value judgement about them as people or that i'm better or not like other girls teehee… If anything I just feel lonely.
Nah I'm not the other poster. I'm the one who asked you the question. I can't relate to the housekeeping thread but it doesn't make me feel like an alien here. I was just asking, not thinking anything bad.
I already felt bad about making the thread because it seemed like not belonging to the Imageboards population at all. :( But I do that because I have no other outlet to discuss anything. I was afraid when starting to post as well, but concerning social interaction I already figured out that making nice posts/statements for other people to respond upn is never wrong. ✨
I find it very cozy here <3
It's okay, you can do whatever you like. I'm not saying you shouldn't have, just talking about my own feelings and experiences
One day in and you already feel the need to explain yourself and apologize. This is the state of postmodernism and feminism.
Housekeeping, cooking, interior design, arts&crafts, knitting, they are all valid and great interests. You shouldn't feel the need to apologize for it.
Actually, it's like all traditionally feminine activities are demonized nowadays, I don't get it.
The housekeeping thread is a breath of fresh air, anon.
When I was younger I had a lot of girls make fun of me because I was slightly overweight, not white, and in the "gifted" program at my school. I stayed kind of awkward/chubby/gross until partway through uni, but in my mind I still look as awful as I used to.
I can't make any meaningful connection with other girls now as a result, and I always obsessively compare myself (facial ratios, measurements, weight, etc. etc.) to them and am not satisfied unless I'm "better". It kind of sucks. I don't really see other women as human (for that matter, I don't really see men as human either but this thread is about women)
You're whacked out sis. Why do you have to blame everything on feminism? A person says they don't find house keeping enjoyable, a harmless discussion ensues. Oh noez, feminism has come for us all
That's not really what happened here though. Bit of an unfair comparison.
Whatever you like. Accepting that there's different types of women does also mean accepting that there's women who don't like trad shit too, and that they're not personally attacking you by talking about it, tho.
10/10 my hero, thank u
>you realize even your uwu 50s housewives hated housekeeping right?
This so much, I don’t why people idealize the 50’s lifestyle so much. I don’t many of those women enjoyed doing all those chores. I live in a family of five, and when it’s my turn to do the laundry for everyone, it’s a pain in the ass but it has to be done. Housekeeping is not meant to be enjoyed, it’s just a task that needs to be done.
Totally. Like my grandma, an actual 50s housewife, is currently so ill she can no longer do the chores and so grandad has to do them for the first time in his life. She thinks it's hillarious that he's only just now recognising how fucking hard and boring doing all the housekeeping and cooking is. It's not pleasant ffs
Geez somebody is pretty salty. Protip: It's not doing the actual work that is inherently fun, but the end product. Just as it's not fun per se to pluck your eyebrows, but it's nice to not look like an ogre afterwards. As for housekeeping as feminine: When we start arguing about what kind of activity is ready, truly defining for the female mind as opposed to the male one, then it's biological question and of fucking course it's nurturing, caring and nesting. WHAT FUCKING ELSE is supposed to be feminine? And of course it's a duty. Of course it's hard and sucks. That is exactly why people make a culture of talking about it in the first place - to share the burden. To find joy in doing those tasks and providing happiness and goodness for the world together. FFS, even males do that when they repair cars or something. Do you think they enjoy the actual process of disassembling motor blocks? Hell no. But they know they have a certain skill and are happy about considering how they could put it to good use and what kind of end products there are and what might be best with them.
Because surprise: Everyone lives somewhere. And the thought "It should look nice", or even "My food should taste nice while being economical", is pretty fucking obvious and it's exactly because that is a huge ordeal, it's necessary to show noobs that it's difficult for everyone, but that there are plenty of so many nice implications that will arise with gaining a bit of skill of it, that we all share the burden but it's worth to keep doing it and not just to throw your hands up and give up because "grandma said it was work one time". The same reason why you shouldn't stop showering because at one time grandma said it was difficult to find a good skin care products that works for you
Well damn, I wanted to say something but I didn't because I didn't want to start a war. You pretty much explained how I feel too.
I don't do housework that often (and I should and will once I move out from where I am right now) but when I do I find it enjoyable and in a weird way it releases some of my tension, I like it. Getting mad over women enjoying to do household chores is just silly, it has nothing to do with men in the first place. Why can't a girl enjoy taking care of the place where she lives and like making it cleaner and more beautiful for the people who live there with her too? What is shameful and terrible with that? I don't get it. I know people will throw X and Z as reasons why it is soooo bad and terrible and MALES!!!1 in my face, but some people do enjoy these things.
Why shame women for enjoy doing things that are considered typically feminine if they actually do enjoy ir? This is just retarded.
Why do you uwus always act like t3h modern wamans don't ever clean and have only heard about it from grandma. Most modern women still do much more housekeeping than their boyfriends and husbands, I both cook and clean, it fucking sucks.
>uwu the end product makes you feel good
It makes you functional. Going to work also gets me paid, it's about surviving.
>>2240>Implying that everyone here is a woman, and not viring larpers.
>Taking too seriously a distractive object of fast (junk) idealiazed subjectivity and objectivity about something that you cant be sure if it was really "shared" with other, but just pretending of it, instead of shitposting for hours and taking a good dialectical talk with your friends.
Yeah sure mate, men dont go on the internet!.
My mother made me feel this way. I always had the impression she's in competition with me - well, at least since I was a teenager. A rather vain person. I try to avoid women of her "type".
I have been thinking about this topic nonstop lately. Its gotten to the point where I've been wondering if there is something wrong with me, or if my personality is simply repulsive to other women.
I have a hard time talking to anyone, both girls and guys for different reasons, i don't feel truly accepted anywhere.
>Do fellow miners also have a hard time talking to girls?
Yes for many reasons, other than just being a social retard in general.
A) Other women intimidate me and I feel inadequate
B)Higher pressure on female relationships because even if a moid and I are just friends they will talk to me anyways because of a subconscious prospect of pussy. Not only the pressure to be a better person but I feel like there is always a degree of fakeness when I talk to women, politeness suddenly becomes more imperitive to communication and sometimes my moid learned humor does not not land with women, overall just more social sophistication.
C) More practice talking to men, I know how to communicate with men better because I spent most of my formative years talking to men online (and being groomed)
Even though I get along better than men, I only get along with a chronically online, socially inenpt subgroup of men.
>inb4 muh pickme!
Please, fuck off.
I feel like you articulated my issues with talking to women as well. I have only had long term friendships with guys and I just don't have much patience to talk to other women. There is temporary politeness but I deal with high insecurity and I have a fragile self esteem. The second I perceive that the person I'm talking to is talking down to me or being rude, I immediately emotionally close off. It tends to happen more often with women.
Not really… or am I sure? When I was younger yes. I couldn't talk to normie girls at all for long. When i was younger before my disillusion i only talked to guys for the most part. Now I talk to women on cc and some reddit subs a lot though. Or sometimes? I was always terrified of being myself around women. That was the bottom line for me. I knew I couldn't mesh well. Based on experience. But now I find I talk to women online a lot. I still don't have friends though. I used to and they all went their separate ways. Chats are too much for me though. I cannot keep talking that much. I would rather work on something. Talking kinda bores me, unless we have hobbies in common because all I wanna do now is make things. I guess it's easily explained though.
Did anyone feel that way about other women growing up? Just complete inability to understand them? Or terrified of being yourself around them?
>>219346>Did anyone feel that way about other women growing up? Just complete inability to understand them? Or terrified of being yourself around them?
Funnily enough I can't seem to get along with women around my own age. Scratch that… now that I think about it, the only women I've ever been interested in befriending were other nerdy girls or Lolitas. But they are the ones who weren't very welcoming for one reason or another. I only ever seem to get along with older women or younger girls (who I end up acting protective over). I think the lack of respect I received from nerdy women stems from the fact I'm not skinny or attractive, so I have less value. I'm not going to lie, I was envious that they were so gentle and sweet with each other and I was never given that same level of consideration. It isn't a surprise I stopped going to Lolita meetups or conventions. Normie women are fine, I just don't have anything in common with them so its hard for me to pursue something more.
i love having female friends and i enjoy myself in their company much more than with moids, but in my experience, some women do pick on other girls out of jealousy and insecurity, and i had that experience many times because of being considered attractive.
i obviously dont want to be around people that put me down to feel better about themselves so i am guarded around other women when i can feel theyre that kind of person.
i've also had very good experiences with women who are incredibly nice, and dont care about how i look like, or like it but wont turn it into a problem.
i realize the pressures on women when it comes to appearance (and pretty much anything else) and i know fully it's men's fault, but it does get hard to feel positive about retards being irrationally mean when i'm nothing but neutral or polite just because of something that is out of my control.
besides this, i dont have problems with women and id say i have a bunch of cool female friends that i treat like princesses, and love me back a lot, and i feel very lucky for that!
growing up i had one girl friend outside of school who treated me terribly and would spit on me.
and it didn't help that in school the other girls thought i was weird for being a tomboy, too blunt, quiet, other bullshit.
this basically lasted until my senior year of high school.
when i tried to make friends with other women in adulthood the same shit talking, "haha you're like so weird for being XYZ that's so disgusting" started again despite me doing a lot for them, so i gave up.
i don't like men either, but by not revealing my sex i find they're much easier to talk to over shared interests, which is all i really wanted from a friendship.
i can handle stupid banter but i can't stand others looking down on me over arbitrary flaws.>>219293
feel this one hard
I'm pretty gender nonconforming and my experience has been the exact opposite. Sustaining friendships with moids has been so much more exhausting than befriending women since there's always this layer of gendered social dynamics that I have no interest partaking in hanging over every single social interaction, as in - I am the designated Man in this relationship, you are the designated Woman, this dictates our behavior even if it's purely platonic. Plus they always end up wanting to fuck me and get either really whiny and annoying or distant and disinterested once they realize they won't. Trying to avoid that feels so much more like playing 4D chess than any interaction I've ever had with the women in my life. Me being quite masculine (in terms of hobbies, interests, behavior, speech patterns, looks to an extent) and an obvious dyke to anyone who isn't a straight dude doesn't change much in that regard. Befriending taken guys alleviates the former issue somewhat but the weird hetero dynamics are still there, and they just bother the fuck out of me to the point where I can't imagine being as deeply invested in friendships with moids as I am in my closest friendships with other women, who I genuinely consider my sisters. I interact with a lot of dudes every single day, being in a male-dominated field, and I have a lot of casual buddies, so it's not like my perception is skewed due to inexperience. I kinda wish I had more gay male friends but for whatever reason we don't tend to click very often :/
Also when it comes to my personal life, I've never got the "girls are catty and jealous and all girl friendships operate on a level of fakeness" thing, at all. In elementary school, maybe? I only really befriend women who are at least somewhat outside to gender roles and not painfully normie though lol
I befriended mostly nerdy women when I got on well with women too. Also tomboys and punks. Sadly I moved a ton and never got any roots in the ground. I never really figured out how to! I always felt transient in my soul. I wish to God I could learn how to not be. To this day I don't get my hopes up when meeting people. Especially because when you're an adult people are kinda boring. Insular. Focused on work. Family. They don't have hobbies. No matter where I go it's the same thing I swear.
I came from a private k-9 school when i was young where I had friends I loved. After that I never adapted well to huge schools when i had to move on. They felt like state run prisons to me. Found people from them cold harsh impersonal. You would think it should be the other way around, but no. Though i was pretty quiet. In my later schools i found them overcrowded, machine like places where you were processed like farm animals.
My god women in these places were so damn mean. They would come up and insult you for literally no reason. It wouldn't matter what I did, it made me massively uncomfortable towards women and people in general. The whole experience really stuck with me.
I did not feel like I belonged anywhere, But I was also pretty defiantly observant, quiet, stuck to my own forms of entertainment. I did not try to fit in because I hated the places i moved to. I think I fit in with 3 people but I never had friends like I had before. I don't think I had friends like that ever again tbh.
I know exactly what people are going to say, haha poor little private school snot, but I don't care. All and all I was quiet and unassuming. I will never send my kids to those massive overcrowded hellhole schools if I ever have them.
I used to be like that. I didn't consider myself to be 'not like the other girls' but I only had male acquaintances that I considered my friends. I thought I just happened to not get along with the girls I met because those specific girls happened to be not very nice. There wasn't any drama they just ended up not liking me.
During the last years I realized that I was not a good person. I wasn't horrible and didn't do really bad things so I didn't realize that for a long time. But not being horrible doesn't mean you are a good person. The only reason that some guys put up with me was because they were hoping to get something out of it. Everyone else just avoided me because of my personality. Now that I changed for the better I found some real friends.
I used to have plenty of female friends back in my k-12 years but because of petty drama and drifting apart from growing up, I despised girls and didn't want to try having female friends. Later on, after breaking apart from my male friends in high school and going into the real world and meeting decent women made me realize they aren't so bad after all. Finally socializing with them made me feel more homely since they were caring and we would relate to each other a lot better than I would with men. after all men could be a mixed bag, either wanting your coochie or theyre genuinely kind people who would respect you and your boundaries. Thank goodness I finally managed to get that in the past year. I still struggle to talk to women around my age though. Its easier to befriend the older folk because some are really chill and open to stuff. I'd love to befriend a geeky girl so we could obsess over the same things but some of us are so shy!!! I'm not rushing myself to get into any friendships rn but it would be nice to have more female friends to hang out with.
What did you realize were your flaws, if you don't mind me asking?
The worst thing a girl ever did to me was make fun of me for my race and the fact that I got boobs early and make me become antisocial and introverted when I used to be sociable and extroverted.
The worst thing a guy did to me was date me for 6 years while lying about alcoholism, buy a house with me, propose to me, and then dump and ghost me a month before the wedding and try to sell his half of the house on the market (which would basically force me out of my own home).
Uh, so yeah, women are better.
I think i remember reading your story in another thread, bf hate thread was it?
I was very judgemental (mostly towards myself but also towards others) and an extremely negative person in general. Sometimes I unconsciously put myself into a situation where I would be the victim. Basically what you would expect from someone who spent too much time on certain imageboards. This wasn't a happy way to live.
At work I met a person who was very similar but for different reasons and that experience was truly eye opening. That coworker is 20 years older than me and a deeply unhappy and bitter person. I realized that this is the future I was headed for if I didn't change.
Wow, what do you mean exactly about lying about alcholism? Did he drink at work or something?
I had massive "I'm not like other girls"-syndrome as a kid/teen because growing up, girls made it very clear to me that I was not like them. But it didn't mean that boys were any easier to talk to. Boys were absolutely disgusted by me, the best treatment I got by a boy is being ignored by him.
Now as an adult, I find it hard to talk to either gender, but that's mostly due to having been a NEET for 5+ years. But I prefer the company of women over men. Men are complete aliens to me. I just fake politeness and hope the interaction ends soon when I have to deal with them.
Anytime a girl interacts with me I try to be as nice as possible since there isn't much risk they would want to fuck me or be creepy, but since I mostly have male filled hobbies any girls there are usually either trans or NLOG types who don't appreciate me and would throw me under the bus for a guy or just in general see me as less important. With normie girls since we have nothing in common the friendship feels shallow as I don't really relate to them outside of us both being women. Like some of the other posters I have mostly male friends as a result and I'm really tired of the constant misogynistic "jokes" and gross behavior, and them just not being good friends in general since anything that goes deeper is immediately seen as sexual