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PSA for edaters Anonymous 236806

I was in your shoes 4 times, I edated 3 guys (not counting crushes) and had an LDR with one guy.
Let me say its never going to be worth it even if you love them. It will always be a negative in your life not being able to have a meaningful or physical relationship with someone you love. It will always hurt more than it feels good. Also most men online are fucking nutjobs, even if they don't seem that why its insanely easy for them to hide everything about themselves online, they have to keep the mask on for extremely limited periods of time, they always know when its coming and you never see them in a natural setting. Then once you breakup and he goes batshit insane all the redflags start becoming glaringly obvious.
Remember normal men don't need to edate. Normal men would not choose edating over real dating, because men are inherently physical coomchimps and if they are edating you can be certain it is his only option. If its his only option you know there is something wrong with him IRL that he can not appeal to women. Edating itself is a redflag for men.
Its not necessarily the same for women because socially awkward women aren't the same as men (who are deranged, men are already deranged usually but the social isolation brings out the worst in them and usually social dysfunction is a symptom of a greater issue. Issue causes social dysfunction, social dysfunction causes more issues which causes more social dysfunction, its a cycle) and women place less of a stress on physicality so edating can be an option for women even if they have real life options, where for men this is untrue.
Your ebf will not work out. Something is wrong with him. God forbid he is bizarrely older than you or you met him on 4chan or something. Just walk away now, I am begging you. You can not fix him and he is not the one socially awkward man who isn't secretly deranged and has good intentions. Something is wrong and you need to LEAVE because being alone is better than being with him.
In my experience all my ebfs even the ones that displayed no red flags ended up becoming manipulative messes the moment I tried to leave. They were all mentally ill, psycho misogynists.
Now I am in my first IRL relationship, its only been a little over a week together but already it feels so much better. I am afraid of the obligation IRL relationships bring and all the effort I have to put into it, but its so nice being able to have a real relationship. Its nice to be with someone who treats you nice and genuinly has your best interest at heart. I dont even love him yet but its so much better and it feels good, its kinda healing. You can all have this eventually and don't waste your time or sell yourself short on pathetic ebfs.

Anonymous 236807

nona i cant thank you enough i DESPERATELY needed to hear this ily

Anonymous 236808

This is so real. Thank you.

Anonymous 236809

I am glad this helped you, you are worthwhile and deserve real love :)

Anonymous 236826

>even the ones that displayed no red flags ended up becoming manipulative messes the moment I tried to leave.
sounds like an average scrote behavior, be it online or IRL.

Not to be a pessimist, but how exactly are you sure this won't happen with your new IRL bf?

Anonymous 236829

I've had a total of 3 LDRs. The last one worked out spectacularly. I've been with him 10 years and married 4 years. He went through his countries gauntlet immigration system and to get me a spouse visa and successfully got me out of the USA. Living in Europe now. Dreams do come true nona.

Anonymous 236831


Anonymous 236833

Moids are naturally bad but socially dysfunctional moids are worse. You can only edate socially dysfuncional moids, since socially apt moids don't edate, they just date. If you think your ebf isn't deranged it's because it's a lot easier to mask sanity when online.

Anonymous 236836


I appreciate your words of wisdom on the subject, nona. I'm glad you found happiness in a real relationship. Sorry the ones you had online were stressful and traumatic. Hopefully it'll be a blurry memory 10 years down the line.

Anonymous 236842

Thats dumb plenty of normies meet online

Anonymous 236843

Yeah I don't necessarily agree with OP. I've merely summarized it.

Anonymous 236849

meeting inline=/=edating

Anonymous 236870

wiser words could not have been spoken nona. congrats on your new relationship and im glad you're being treated w the respect you deserve!

Anonymous 236872

I am glad things worked out for you and that sounds wonderful. Edating can work out but these situations are far and few between and I don't think they happen enough to justify edating as a good thing and to encourage other women to edate. It is generally a pretty bad thing. For instance, teen pregnancy can work out for some, women can overcome the obstacles and build a nice life from it, but these are the minority of cases. Just like we should not teach teenage girls that pregnancy for them can work out and encourage it (because it usually does not) we shouldn't tell women that edating can work out (because it usually does not). Edating is usually miserable and people need to realize that before getting sucked in and believing they are the one exception to the rule. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception, but they almost never are. If anyone who is the exception is reading this, I am happy for you. By discouraging edating more people are saved from miserable relationships than happy endings are prevented.
This. I dont consider tinder or meeting someone online who happens to live 30 mins from you edating. Edating is when you meet someone online and date them seriously before meeting them IRL. Similarly bad, LDRs are when you meet someone online who lives a distance away that you can not practically see on a regular basis (biweekly-montly), yet enter a serious relationship with (ik some people have temporary LDRs because of life experiences getting in the way of their relationship, but those aren't bad IMO bc the commitment happened before the LDR aspect)

Anonymous 236883

I've edated 3 times too. All of them were meh to terrible experiences. But the one thing they had in common was they all weren't itching to try to fly to see me or for me to see them. Big red flag for edating. I think that if you can't meet within a year, call it off. Honestly in the end of the day I'm still somewhat open to edating but NEVER for moids, only women now. Because to find a moid who shares my moidtier interests is easy, dime a dozen, I could even find a way to find one irl here. But a woman who is like me and the other autists on this site AND gay? No way.

Anonymous 236909

My e-boyfriend is the exception.

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