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copypasta thread Anonymous 30998

see subject. just post your favorite copypastas. i'll start

>we get it you love cock you love the taste of salty sticky semen down your throat you'll do anything to get a dick down your gullet you crave cocksucking you cocksuck every weekend you've made a hobby of it you put cocksucking as one of your abilities down in your cv and then when you get job interviews you don't even take the interview you just slurp on the interviewers penis you love cum you love swallowing semen you want a million men to all cum in a water bottle and then give it to you to drink you love penis penis penis

Anonymous 30999


I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Anonymous 31000


They targeted gamers.
We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.
We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.
We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.
Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.
Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?
These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a shitty head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.
Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

This one gets me every time

Anonymous 31001

I'm sorry, but did the Chargers already lose? Oh, that’s right. The game isn’t even over yet. In fact, it’s only halftime. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a loss? Is that what you’re saying? Because if you’re saying that I can assure you that you’re wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is still on? The Chargers are still playing right now and they have been the best team in the AFC West for how many years now? They’re playing one of the worst teams in the NFL who just happen to have a lead because they’re feeding off the energy of playing in a Monday Night Game. But you know what? They still fucking suck. The Chargers are one of the best fucking teams in the NFL, they went 13-3 last year and would of won the Super Bowl if the kicker didn’t choke. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you’re going to be embarrassed when the Chargers wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Chiefs just stepped out of bounds short of the 1st down when they needed to get one, just like the Jets did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I’m fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you’re the only guy making all these anti-Chargers topics because you’re a faggot hater who doesn’t like the team because they’re good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It’s so easy to spot out your threads now, you’re a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don’t you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That’s just you, you’re always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.

Anonymous 31003

Any approach that claims to recover the distribution of individual utility parameters from aggregate data based on arbitrary distributional and functional form assumptions is dubious at best.

Anonymous 31005


Listen here little baby. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl.

>mfw thinking of you hurting

Anonymous 31007


How can anyone think that this is scary for real ? How can anyone take seriously a horror book with the Hulk as a supposed to be frightening monster ? How can anyone see the Hulk as frightening for real in this book ?
"Ouh, the Hulk is smiling, so unsetlling, this is so scary guys…" why are you lying to yourself like that ?
You guys are just forcing onto yourself the new fade there will be in this hivemind of a board, with the blandest, tamest, most classicly safe comic book there can be, while your selective outrage is shitting on Bendis' Superman for things that would be praised if they were written by someone else, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO you have to shit on it even if it's good because the hivemind dictates you to do so !!!

No wonder you can't get laid, but guess what ? I got a girlfriend now. For the first time of my life after 24 years I finally got a girlfriend, and all that nerd fuss has become so irritating since.
I'm just leaving for good now, I had plenty of fun with that board but I'm done. I wish you to get girlfriends to, maybe it will open your eyes about the hivemind that is destructing your self, but sadly, the hivemind is probably keeping you away from being able to seduce anyone, so you're most likely trapped in a vicious circle, and sadly, there is no Savage Dragon to save you from it. I just hope that this message will maybe help you to think by yourself a bit more and to get a girlfriend to.

Enjoy your book.

Anonymous 31008

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”


“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

Anonymous 31009

I got no results for that pasta on the googles even when using verbatim


Anonymous 31010

fucking lmao

Anonymous 31012


reminds me of

>Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

Anonymous 31013


I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

Anonymous 31015

wait, wait, wait…. hold your horses… uhm… YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.

Anonymous 31122


Anonymous 31143

Saged, reported, hidden, called the cops, called the fire department, called pizza hut, called the royal Navy, called the red army, called the FBI, called the CIA, called interpol, called the KGB, called the USMC, called the USAF, called the Royal Air Force, called MI6, called Scotland yard, called the national guard, called the NYPD, called the president, called the Queen, called Putin, called the prime minister, called every governor of every US state, called Churchill, as well as Hitler, Stalin, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Montezuma, even Caesar and Gilgamesh, called the US army, called the British army in every era, called every phone sex line, called papa johns, called the coast guard, called my state senators, called every Republican in the US, called Dr. Who, called the pope, called my local gang lords, called the state patrol of every state west of the Mississippi, called all my local news channels, called star fleet, called The Sun, called The National Enquirer, called CNN, called Scot Pelly, called Steven colbert, called half of the Mexican drug cartels, called Nintendo, called the Japanese maratime self defense force, called the head of the Illuminati, called every free mason, called every member of the Bildeburg Group, called my neighbors, called the mayor of every city in France, called the Emperor of Mankind and every school district in Canada.

Anonymous 31239

This is gold

Anonymous 46319


Anonymous 46374

I have tons of these

My first gold is on a comment about this. I can't believe it, Reddit, you always surprise me. Thank you kind stranger for the gold, and thank you kind strangers for all the upvotes! I didn't think when I woke up today and found out my mom had super cancer that I'd actually be smiling today but you guys changed that. Thank you. When I had to put down my dog a few minutes ago I had tears in my eyes, I still do have tears, but now they're tears of joy! Thank you Reddit for all of these upvotes and the GOLD!! Wow I still cannot believe it. Hey, maybe we can push for platinum??? I've never had platinum before and would love to see what it does! My dad before he had his colonoscopy told me to "Try and live each day like its your last… And also get platinum on Reddit" and I don't want to let him down! I want to show my father that I'm strong and capable of overcoming impossible odds (those odds being getting platinum haha!). In conclusion I just want to thank each and every one of you guys for the hours of entertainment I get on this website, I love each and every one of you wonderful people, each and every one of you is unique and special and can do whatever you want!! I love all of you! Thank you so much for the gold and the upvotes!
(Thank you u/NiqPat for taking your time to write this)
chorus: the gold

Anonymous 46376

I have never had much problem with underarm odor. I have certainly never had strong BO. Many other people's underarm odor smells like onions or perhaps some canned food gone bad. Mine smells like vagina. I ran out of deodorant about three weeks ago and after a few days I stuck a finger under there and smelled. It smelled exactly like pus. It is kind a turn on really. Each underarm has its own unique smell. I feel like I am holding two naked women, one under each arm. As far as I know, no one can smell this but me. If I were single, I could fake guys out with the old smell my finger for proof gambit. As it stands, I have no use for this super-ability.

Anonymous 46814

This post has an interesting pedigree. It's like one of literally 3 or 4 posts that are very, very questionable due to the possible reused nature of the text yet, these 3 or 4 posts have been somehow deemed "acceptable" on all sites where copypasta is not okay.

Okay. Why would I think this is copypasta? The text. The overuse of obnoxious words and phrases, like you see with copypasta. The autism. The implication that someone actually believes what they're typing. The semi ironic feel. YES. Original posts do all of these things. But THIS POST just screams of copypasta. Thing is, it can't be proven either way. I personally am cool with it being here. I'm not in anyway a moralfag on this topic. But it's interesting because I've seen a LOT of posts pulled on sites where the post looked not a letter less original than this one. But this one gets a pass for some reason.

After spending a few minutes here I can easily say that all of your posts is lacking of any wit or intelligence whatsoever. You believe yourself to be better than everyone else, and I can tell you right now, that that is not the case in the slightest, you pseudo-intellectual. I am much better than you. Clearly I am because I am neither pretentious, long-winded, asinine, discourteous, nor are my tastes quite as bland as yours. No, I am quite concise, and I would never stretch beyond that of my means or what I am designated to.

I'd have to say that this board is full of anonymous lurkers, attackers, and trolls, who have nothing better to do than throw their elitist opinions around in an attempt at misguided show-boating with people they'd never ever meet. But even then you manage to be the best, or should I say the worst, of the lot.

You haven't build any persona or stand by anything remotely attached that I can feel some sort of personal connection to. You lack any sort of direction and I can't have that. Your analogies are far too complicated, linear, and they're rather contradictory. Why, there's never even any variety here!

I give your shitposting, masquerading as legitimate message board discussion, a 1/10.

Anonymous 46819


>mfw americans call chips "french fries"
>mfw americans call crisps "chips"
>mfw americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars"
>mfw americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"
>mfw americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks"
>mfw americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC"
>mfw americans call meat water "gravy"
>mfw americans call electro-rope "power cables"
>mfw americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger"
>mfw americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens"
>mfw americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs"
>mfw americans call breaddystack a "sandwich"
>mfw americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards"
>mfw americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly"
>mfw americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator"
>mfw americans call forcey fun time "rape"
>mfw americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater"
>mfw americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift"
>mfw americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie"
>mfw americans call peepee friction pleasure "sex"
>mfw americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver"
>mfw americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun"
>mfw americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb"
>mfw americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball"
>mfw americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake"
>mfw americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"

Anonymous 53004


I love this thread.

Anonymous 53041

Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back.

Anonymous 53042

drama, can't get enough of that drama. I need the dopamine to keep living or I might start questioning what I've been doing with all my time. It doesn't matter which side I'm on, I just want to cause conflict. I need that attention, it's what I live for, it gives my life purpose. How many people will believe me today? How many threads can I make? How much disruption can I cause for those guys trying to take it easy?

This is my life, this is what I live for

Anonymous 53069

membership tab glitch

Anonymous 53170

Penis users, how does it feel to know there's an entire group of individuals who are better with orgasms than you are? Meet dildo users. They are better than you.

They understand hard cock better. They understand the basic principles of stimulation better. They know how induce orgasm better than you. They understand the pros and cons of dating real people (including STDs and expensive dinners) because with dildos you get to choose the shape/size. They can probably have multiple orgasms, too, since learning self-stimulation vastly improves productivity (and this really pisses penis owners off, since fucking was one thing you always wanted to do but could never really find any practical projects to work towards). Oh, and they probably know real penises better than you, too, since most advanced dildo users these days are ex-penis users who bought dildos years ago when they were less "user friendly."

At this point, a confident individual would admit to himself that he/she has a lot to learn about dildos and orgasms in general, but since you lack the self-esteem to do that you run back to penises, fake your orgasms and keep repeating to yourself "at least I can fuck a human. At least I can fuck a human." You're also probably very pleased about being able to face syncing with your horribly restrictive partner… because penises have somehow managed to convince you that being jizzed in is the most important thing to consider.

At this point you probably rationalize "well the only thing I know is penises, so I must be a penis expert!" as if knowing only one thing makes you an automatic expert, or that using dildos forces you to forget how to use penises entirely.

Anonymous 53333



Anonymous 53337

Out of curiosity; OP, have you actually made posts in this thread? Can you identify yourself and your posts if so? When this thread was first made I reported it as a "bait/troll thread" because it seemed like a man attempting to disguise himself as a woman with "relatable woman problems", hence the odd immediate assumption that all women dislike or don't interact with porn. After the thread was never removed and the discussion pursued, I assumed the Admin was able to find a convincing post history supporting that OP was a regular crystal.cafe poster, and I entered the thread and shared my viewpoints.

It's odd how after 144 posts (now 145) of heated discussion expressing both agreement and disagreement with her position, prompted by her asking "Anyone else feel this way?", she hasn't identified herself in any posts, seemingly making this thread with the intent to disappear afterwards. That's the run-of-the-mill approach to executing bait posts, if it means anything. It's interesting to consider the implications of certain anons praising OP's "anti-porn", "monogamous", and "moral" approach to relationships when this entire time they could've been defending an anime-avatar male troll who probably watches porn on a regular basis.

OP, if your post was of a genuine nature (and you're still here), it'd do no harm to clarify that or to respond to arguments for and against your ideas.

Anonymous 53363

Based fresh copypasta, love you anon

Anonymous 53433

does anyone have that one post where the guy is like "i'm not gay" but he describes himself in situations that are increasingly homosexual

Anonymous 53592

I did the math, traps are 200% gay.

A man attracted to a trap is gay because he knows he's attracted to a man. 100%.

A woman attracted to a trap is a lesbian because she is attracted to his feminine appearance. 100%.

Meaning no matter who is attracted to a trap, all are gay regardless of sex.

Therefore, traps are doubly gay. 200%.

If you include other genders and sexes, then traps are arguably 100% more gay with each new gender/sex.

Thus, traps are potentially infinitely gay.

Anonymous 53593

Holy fucking shit really? Really? Is that all you've got to say for yourself you pathetic fucking dweeb. You don't know shit about anything. You are literally retarded, you stupid idiot. How the fuck is what you said even relevant. It's like you think with your ass you major fucking retard. Do you honestly think you can just shit on your keyboard and expect people to believe it? You're not a troll, you're not bait. You're a master faggot. Every example that you just gave is stupid and irrelevant. Absolutely nothing you said was of any value. You are literally the stupidest mother fucker I have ever met. I can only imagine that the very very few people you come in contact with hate you too. You sit on your worthless fucking fat ass and do nothing all day but criticize things you know nothing about. Even if you did know anything you're way too fucking stupid to comprehend it. You are the scum of the fucking earth. An anime watching neckbeard faggot. Everything about you disgusts me. You will never be a normal person. You will never be smart. You will never be liked. I don't need a citation for that because that's just fucking fact. Your IQ and Chromosome are both 47, that means you're retarded you retard. Go fuck yourself with your cheeto covered hands you disgusting fuck. You wont tell me what you did today because you didn't do shit. You never fucking do shit. Everyday you spend in the monotony of your own pathetic failure of a life so you come here to shill your own retarded opinions of no value or thought. GO FUCK YOURSELF

Anonymous 53598

Alright my yout, mi and dis fine gyal decide we waan fi go park, we went pon swing, pon slide, and even have good time a bounce pon teeter-totter. Buoy, it fun mi tell yuh. Been long since we frolic ina park. We sit dung a ground fi have lunch, afta lunch she waan fi go home, so we went to her house fi watch movie and sinting. Mi tell you, the gyal mus be one freak, cause she jump pon my lap and start suck out mi face. After 5 minute the blood clot phone ring and mi answer. One rated man come yell ina mi ear, man was livid! Him say sumthing like 'YO STAR, A WEH YOU A DO WIT MI PICKEY?' Mi just give one sour look pon my girl face and ask a wuh dis man business? Gyal tell me her dad ded, him ina ground, ded, ded, ded. A WHO DI BUMBACLOT DEH PON MY PHONE?

Anonymous 53603

Peela poe toe co say que de canna co toe vol toe tee ca che so toto cinto nana mo no cal low que la cala peenla mesa eh toe suit eh le mono el la ka toe peenta cent so toe no colo senso san so gondo we ta when ah canna killa besa oh toe tee sa say la mana mingla mano mo no tee la lay key ta no tika na mano paula keela catta te sa say sa ma so co so colo peela ah low peeto te lay cala kila tondo boco pongo poco lo ca la que el le que es say say mo no toe co no ning no carra veto sa so say ah mata BAY LA BAY LA GEH CHOW HOE LO MEH WOE BALLA BEELA BALLA BO SO BEH LO BEH BEE CA CO POE PEH LA BATTA BEELA BALLA BEE CO CO LOW WAY LALALA PEENA CAH TA EH SO SO MUJER BA DA HEELA WAH TA QUE CA CA MO WAY WAY MAH BO MO WAY I WANNA PEANUT BUTTER PIZZA ALL THE WAAAAY!

Anonymous 53659

On this note, I have a bad habit of saying "uwu" like "oooooooWOOOOOO!" to my cats because it looks like their face, and now that's been incorporated in my baby-talk towards infants and cute animals. You ever uwu'd at a cow? More of them will walk over to check on the uwu!

Anonymous 54515

Lol. As a presently kinda-suicidal man just one nudge away from GTFO, this thread makes me feel a tad better. I love the banter on this site.

I used to be 6’0.5 but a damaged disc has put me down to 5’11.5
Not particularly tall but plenty tall enough. Maybe I’ll get my back fixed and reach my old height.

But more to the point, I am 250lbs with a reasonable body fat percentage of between 10 to 12 %

Translation I am fucking huge.

I have not been weight lifting long. Started at 30, almost 31.
My squat is already up to 600lbs 5x5.
Bench is at 240lbs 5x5.
Deadlift I started training late so it is not very impressive, yet, at 400lbs. 5x5.

I am a fucking terminator.

Even my fucked up jaw and chin from too much mouth breathing and chronic kyphosis are growing back into place, becoming larger and more masculine. Started to look pretty good. Bit of a chad imho.
Must be all the natural test and hgh from putting my epic body through so much epic hell that I’m catching up to pro lifters, again starting at 30 with under a year of progress.

My skin looks shit tho, I’ll give you that. It aged like ten years in literally one and a half years due to horrific depression and agony. I call it gremlin skin. Sometimes goblin skin.

My hands are bigger too. Weird. Been doing grip workouts. Captains of crush. Working on closing the number 3. They’ve gotten a quarter or an inch longer already and so much thicker that my gloves don’t fit.

Been jelqing. Penis already over an inch longer when erect and just under an inch thicker girth (erect.)

I’m an animal.

Ignore the lanklets bros. Just unleash your inner masochist and lift a fuck ton of heavy weight constantly while eating a fuck ton of clean food and remember to use every opportunity to make yourself better at something each day.

If you finish the day slightly better at one thing it’s a victory. Just imagine after a few years. All those victories turning you into a beast like me.

The lanklets rely on their height to get them by. You’re all better men than them already. Bet you could snap those twigs no problem. They can’t even land a punch on you with their slow reflexes and awkwardly long arms. LOL just imagine a lanklet trying to fight back. You just step inside and fucking BAMBAMBAM full-on body-weight nukes, full contact, smashing their inevitably less durable bones into fucking calcified buckshot.

Ahhh that’s the shit.

Oh I started playing the guitar 3months ago. Can already play nothing else matters by Metallica minus the super fast bit of the solo. Couple years I’ll be a virtuoso.

Took up drawing. Getting pretty fucking good lads. I can draw such a funny cock. It has all the details man it’s hilarious. Draw it on my friends garage door he was giggling like a school girl I used to have a crush on.

It’s not too late. It’s never too late. You just have to reach out and grab it. Fucking snatch it and fuck it and smash it into your beast-king face and bite it’s fucking eyes out.

We can all make it bros. Just follow me. Come, let’s go!

Anonymous 54599

Bonjour les amis, alors la plupart de vous ne me connaissent pas, j'aurais préféré que ça reste comme ça.
Je suis euuuuuh, Maitre Yoda, euuuuuh donc l'ex-coach de Lorenzo Becker et je suis désolé je fais juste la vidéo avec un iPhone parce que je n'ai pas les moyens techniques de Lorenzo, euh, je n'ai pas un ami directeur de production à France Télévision qui m'aide pour faire mes montages.
On y reviendra un p'tit peu tout à l'heure sur cette personne qui est assez proche de Lorenzo, j'pense que ça va vous amuser, voilà.
Donc, Lorenzo Becker, alors, pfffff, qu'est-ce que je vais pouvoir vous dire, il y en a, il y en a, il y en a…
Alors qu'est-ce qui c'est passé, bah on va passer, on va partir du début hein.
Je suis parti aux Etats-Unis l'an dernier, il y a un peu plus d'un an.
Je suis parti 4 ou 5 semaines à Dallas, au Texas, euuuh, faire une p'tit pélerinage Metroflex Arlignton, la salle de Branch Warren.
Eeeeet euuuh, bah comme vous j'ai regardé les vidéos de Lorenzo Becker et j'me dis "p'tin c'est bien ce mec là, ce qu'il fait et tout c'est sympa et tout", et je lui écris en lui disant "j'aime bien ce que tu fais, j'aimerais bien qu'on se rencontre et tout"
Donc euuuh, le gars me répond et tout donc moi j'me dis "formidable" euuuh, et puis honnêtement j'me suis dis à cette époque là "il peut t'apporter beaucoup dans ton coaching, et dans ton marketing et dans ta publicité, il faut dire les choses comme elles sont".
Mais je trouvais que c'était assez sympa ce qu'il faisait.
Et puis je trouvais qu'il avait un physique assez exceptionnel.
Et bon j'avais vu ses histoires avec la police et tout m'enfin des embrouilles tout le monde en a… des des des bagarres avec les copines tout le monde en a, ça peut plus ou moins mal se terminer.
Ça c'est le lot de tout le monde hein, voila.
Donc Lorenzo me répond et puis peu de temps après que je sois rentré des USA, il vient chez moi, et euuuuuuuuh, en fait c'est là où j'ai vu queeeeeeeeeeeeeee que bah j'aurais du arrêter assez rapidement parce que …. euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh … j'ai vu beaucoup de choses, des discours incohérents, un manque de respect aussi parce que quand vous demandez à la personne de ne pas fumer chez vous, je parle fumer, fumer du cannabis bien sûr hein, pas fumer une cigarette, parce que vous savez que c'est un grand consommateur, on en reviendra, on reviendra un peu tout à l'heure là dessus.
Euh, donc quand vous demandez à une personne de ne pas fumer chez vous, euuuh, et que bon, le premier soir elle le fait, et quelques temps après vous la trouvez en train de fumer à la fenêtre alors que vous lui avez dit de ne pas fumer chez vous.
Moi je ne sais pas mais euuuuuh, si je viens chez l'un ou l'autre de chez vous et que je rentre sans enlever mes godasses et que je dis "je t'emmerde", à mon avis ça va pas bien se passer. Hein ? Quand je vais chez les gens je m'assoie, je dis "merci", je prends un p'tit café, et puis je me tais et je dis "bonjour Madame". Hein, donc déjà là ça commençait un p'tit peu mal.
Donc j'aurais du euuuuh avoir la puce à l'oreille pour pas mal de choses comme ça.
Parce que en plus c'est pas du tout ma culture hein j'ai 47 ans donc voila, je ne dis pas que je n'ai jamais tiré sur un joint.
D'ailleurs une fois avec Lorenzo, j'ai tiré 2 lattes sur son joint et le lendemain j'ai eu beaucoup de mal à me réveiller, je je l'avoue.
Bon moi c'est plutôt le, leee, l'âge des, de la Kronembourg et euh hahaha, voila un p'tit peu ça.
Et euh, donc voila, puis après il repart et tout et bon euh, il vient me voir en fait parce qu'il avait été chez Patrick Ostolani et euh, où il avait fait un granc buzz comme quoi il allait être coaché par Patrick Ostolani et tout et puis euh, il commence à me montrer ceci, cela, ses plans de ceci, ses plans de cela. Et moi j'dis "écoute Lorenzo, Patrick est ton coach, j'vais pas commencer à dire ceci cela parce que j'ai pas la même vision que lui certainement, et si je te dis ça, ça va te mettre l'embrouille et euh et moi c'est un manque de respect envers Ostolani, j'ai pas à faire ça, je le connais pas mais bon j'ai pas à faire ça".
Et euh, et pi voila, mais bon on discute un peu et tout, pi après baaah, comme Monsieur Becker est quelqu'un qui est archi archi prenant, tout le temps en train de vous appeler et puis à des heures pas possibles, parce que comme il dort pas la nuit, il passe ses nuits à jouer à la Playstation et à fumer des joints; c'est sûr que bah il dort pas.
Donc vous quand vous êtes un père de famille et que vous avez 47 piges, 2h du matin, même si je travaille très tard : je dors !
Donc c'est compliqué, c'est compliqué. Euh, c'est assez compliqué.

Anonymous 54615


>A woman attracted to a trap

There isn't such thing. It doesn't exist. If a woman claims to be attracted to such hideous creatures she is only doing this for male attention

Anonymous 55144

Killing has become exempt from punishment. And as it goes unpunished, nobody notices it anymore. And as nobody notices it, it doesn't exist. When you walk past a shop window where large red chunks of butchered bodies are hanging on display, do you stop to wonder what it really is? You never think twice about it, do you? Or when you order a kebab or a chop - what are you actually getting? There's nothing shocking about it. Crime has come to be regarded as a normal, everyday activity. Everyone commits it. That's just how the world would look if concentration camps became the norm. Nobody would see anything wrong with them.

In fact Man has a great responsibility toward wild Animals - to help them to live their lives, and it's his duty toward domesticated Animals to return their love and affection, for they give us far more than they receive from us. And they need to be able to live their lives with dignity, to be able to settle their Accounts and register their semester in the karmic index - I was an Animal, I lived and I ate; I grazed in green pastures, I bore Young, I kept them warm with my body; I built nests, I performed my duty. When you kill them, and they die in Fear and Terror - like that Boar whose body lay before me yesterday, and is still lying there, defiled, muddied and smeared with blood, reduced to carrion - you doom them to hell, and the whole world changes into hell. Can't people see that? Are their minds incapable of reaching beyond petty, selfish pleasures? People have a duty toward Animals to lead them - in successive lives - to Liberation. We're all traveling in the same direction, from dependence to freedom, from ritual to free choice.

You'll say it's just one Boar. But what about the deluge of butchered meat that falls on our cities day by day like never-ending, apocalyptic rain? This rain heralds slaughter, disease, collective madness, the obfuscation and contamination of the Mind. For no human heart is capable of bearing so much pain. The whole, complex human psyche has evolved to prevent Man from understanding what he is really seeing. To stop the truth from reaching him by wrapping it in illusion, in idle chatter. The world is a prison full of suffering, so constructed that in order to survive one must inflict pain on others.

What sort of a world is this? Someone's body is made into shoes, into meatballs, sausages, a bedside rug, someone's bones are boiled to make broth… Shoes, sofas, a shoulder bag made of someone's belly, keeping warm with someone else's fur, eating someone's body, cutting it into bits and frying it in oil… Can it really be true? Is this nightmare really happening? This mass killing, cruel, impassive, automatic, without any pangs of conscience, without the slightest pause for thought, though plenty of thought is applied to ingenious philosophies and theologies. What sort of a world is this, where killing and pain are the norm? What on earth is wrong with us?

Anonymous 55169

This copypasta reminds me of how much I oddly like reading Hindus post aggressive vegetarian evangelism online. I'm not a vegetarian, but I find these arguments very resonant and think they carry a lot of insight into the human purpose and condition.

Anonymous 55172

no one:
absolutely nobody:
still nobody:
not a single soul:
literally no one:
not even big chungus:
random incel on 4channel: SOIJAK(500).JPG LOL I QUOTE YOU
[everyone disliked that]
baby yeed: wait that's illegal
brie larson: ok that was lowkey on point
pickle rick: slaps roof of car luke did i ever tell you about the time i turned myself into a pickle? it was an epic moment.
luke: is retarded
CIA: Bane?
sans undertale: hey don't google HP Lovecraft's cat name
[OP googles hp lovecrafts cat name]
CIA: congratulations you got yourself caught!
stan lee: flies past in a spaceship ooooh i dont care what universe you're from that's GOTTA HURT
[everyone laughed]
keanu reeves: you're breathtaking!
area 51 guards:i bet i can take keanu reeves
keanu reeves: you sure about that
keanu reeves: kills all area 51 guards
area 51:wait thats illegal
Everyone liked that
CIA: am I joke to you?
Alt right incels: there's no way star wars can be good again….
Baby Yeed: hold my beer
Big chungus joined the chat
Drumpf has left the chat
4channeler: 'Yeah, I'm thinking this is kind of epic based pilled, maybe a bit of a coom moment?? Idk think I might post a frog.

Anonymous 56239

Story time sisters so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish and my headphones got unplugged and it played bad guy out loud so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls were completely vibing to it and they were like slayyyyysisterrrand i was gonna say something back when a boyapproached me and said “uh billie eilish is so cringe why don’t you listed to xxtentacion?” and i was SHOOK and completely flipped the F OUT i said “you dumb ignorant MALE bill elliot saved my life i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn’t get me tickets to coachella and a pentagram formed on the ground and billie rose up from it and she said “put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful ” and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path until shariah law was implemented world wide” he then was like I won’t allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytanwell i wasn’t going to let blasphemygo unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billieshe said “i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls”but then i felt an evil force risingit was xxxtentacion he said “spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh” and then allah and X fought and of course allah won and spread World peace so anyway that’s the TEA sisters stay tuned for my fenti beauty giveaway and remember praise allah everyday

Anonymous 56241

Did you write this pasta? I’ve never seen it before

Anonymous 56308

images (20).jpeg


Anonymous 56344

no it's from /mu/

Anonymous 56378

Disregarding the high possibility of this being a bait post.

Are you faggot or something? Does your entire life revolve around your sexuality? Homo or otherwise? Even if you're straight, the implications behind your post imply that you act like a faggot. If the only driving force in your life is the gratification of your sexual urges, congratulations! You're a faggot. One should pursue these things for greater understanding, appreciation, and gratification of one's self. Imagine just sniffing and scuttling around bars like a fucking rat, trying to find some cheesy pussy. Don't get me wrong, I was once like you, acting like a faggot, whose only goal was to satisfy my sexual urges, but after years of getting turned down (because people saw straight through me, much like they do you, or they will eventually), I began to focus on making myself better and just treating people like fucking people. Not like some cheesy pussy to be snuffed out like I'm a fuckin faggot ass rat like you. Since then, I've only dated attractive women, and have had some pretty great random fucks with women that I've met out and about. But was any of that my end goal? Was that the ONLY fucking thing I was looking for? NO, you FAGGOT! I was having fun dancing to some random euro-trash techno on a dance floor in Santorini, and when I saw a cute girl laughing I just laughed with her and asked her to dance with me! The end goal wasn't to fuck, the goal was to have a fun moment and experience with this complete and total stranger! Am I paying my way through school to get some puss puss? NO. I'm paying my way through school so I can eventually pay for the lifestyle I want to live, and if someone happens to come along that shares my view in that regard, then great! If not, no worries! I will still be fulfilled with the accomplishment of my goals and dreams.

Your self-satisfaction and happiness should never rely on someone else. Stop being a fucking cumbrained zombie.

Anonymous 56387

For Christ’s sake. I’m getting arthritis in my thumb from scrolling past this post ten times a day

Anonymous 56401

Working as intended

Anonymous 56402



doki doki..

Anonymous 60636

I stopped caring about math when I was introduced to the concept of imaginary numbers. What a crock of shit. If your equation can only be solved by inventing numbers that can't exist, like some kind of math deity , then you are fucking wrong and the math is flawed. Same for algebra solutions that basically say "the correct answer is whatever the correct answer is". Thats what the math said transcribed to words but god forbid if i wrote in down in english instead of the ancient math runes the teacher word mark me wrong.

Math is logical and numbers never lie my ass. Math is just as flawed as any other human construct.

Anonymous 60742

DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it’s got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade- listen here, right, it’s a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!! it’s also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we’re both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spent more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. i’m fuckin JACKED man, i’m gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!!

Anonymous 66464


What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little handmaiden? I'll have you know that besides writing one of the most popular book series in modern times, I've been involved in numerous secret raids against pinkpill groomer Discords, and I have been blocked and reported by over 300 pornsick incels. I am trained in the use of facts and logic and I've even been banned from the Mumsnet women's rights subforum. You think you can get away with forwarding that kind of discourse over the Internet? Think again, pickme. As we speak I am contacting the international network of powerful lesbians, and your IP is being traced right now so you better run to your Nigel to protect you from the storm. The storm that wipes out the bourgeois, neoliberal capitalist thing you call feminism. You're fucking history, Everyday Feminism. I can shitpost anywhere, anytime, and I can rebut SJWiki in over seven hundred ways, and that's just off the top of my head. Not only am I extensively read in second-wave philosophy, but I have access to the entire bibliography of Andrea Dworkin and I will deploy it to its full extent to wipe your miserable worldview off the face of the internet. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little virtue-signalling Mel Magazine article was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn tradthot.

Anonymous 66542

I am here once again to warn everyone about 48. Several days ago, a penguin entered my home. I tried discussing 48 with it but got no response. 48 is too sensitive I suppose. Later that night, I received a phone call from an unknown number. Just silence, no one there. I woke up in the middle of the night at 3:48 to see a hanging World War 1 soldier in my bedroom. He hung in the corner of my room near the door. If anyone can locate the penguin, please tell it I am truly sorry for speaking about 48. My life holds no value. I am soon going to be sacrificed to Atlantis.

Anonymous 70776

I imagine myself in Europe, leading my Platoon. Our mission is to stop whTe dogs from advancing. We mow down whTe dogs but they keep coming. I shoot whTe dogs but I run out of ammo so I draw my sword and begin slaughtering whTes, since whTes are way more psychially inferior to me, I slay them by dozens. Then I get shot, but I didn't fall, I kept fighting. Then shot again and again. whTes were shooting me from a distance like the cowards they are. I lie down, facing up to sky and I see KARA BOĞA (Tengri) smiling at me, I smile back… Then I woke up, in africa, my homeland. My BLACK brethen gave me a warm welcome to heaven. I finally made it, I finally made it into heaven..

Anonymous 70779

This is an incel moment.
You may be wondering what an "incel moment" is, well here it is, defined.
-When confronted with interracial relationships, this triggers a primal urge in the incel. Half enraged, half aroused he is reminded by his own loneliness and the high desire to be in a meaningful relationship with a women. Protip, he never will
-When confronted by criticism of race and gender dynamics, wojacks, ad-homs will follow. The incel isn't educated so his immediate reaction is to rage and expose his white fragility
-Though he posts photos and memes about how he hates women, all he wants is to be with a women. The problem is, he's not attractive and never will be. Women avoid him like a plague so he attacks anonymously on the internet (notice how he's a complete coward).
-His response when he has no argument is typical "dilate", "nigger", "cope" "seethe" etc. You know when they post this, you've won and witnessed an incel moment.
-Deep down, they're extremely fragile and insecure. They've never really interacted with people outside of their own family so they've never developed proper intellectual and emotional relationships.
-Typically lean right, MAGA despite not really knowing anything about policy, history or society in general. They're obsessed with SJW's, women, minorities even though they don't know any. Easily brainwashed and indoctrinated. Youtubers like PJW, Milo & Steven Crowder have them changing their worldviews every video they post. They're unable to form coherent arguments but are overly emotional when it comes to issues. Notice phrases like "Political correction is destroying our media!" despite not giving any examples on set topics.
That's it folks, a quick guide to spot incel moments and incel rage. Pass it along.

Anonymous 70782

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Anonymous 70862

If you’re under 25 years old — or an immature 30-plus — I’m about to set your ass straight. So, listen up. Your music is fucking garbage. There, I said it. Mindless crap. Eardrum-bursting, dagger-in-the-eyes, ass-bagging, blow your fucking brains out — unadulterated dog shit. That pretty much sums up the type of music that’s popular with today’s young people. Listen, you stupid sons of bitches. I’m talking at you. I’m your elder. My opinion demands respect. Your music hasn’t got life. It’s fucking dead. Your music is void of humanity. It’s as fake as a porn queen’s orgasm. There’s no soul. It’s tripe. It’s a carp in the sea of music. The stuff you listen to was created by fucking machines. Today’s “artists” — there’s an oxymoron — don’t even need to know how to play musical instruments or sing. In other words, no fucking talent whatsoever is needed to succeed today in music. You heard me. No. Talent. Whatsoever. And, I’m fucking sick of it because the current generation is taking the gold we gave you and dragging it into a sewer. Listen up, you little pricks. I’m not stuck in some kind of classic rock time warp. Fact is, I expose myself to many different kinds of music. I give all music a chance. Even the techno-trash littering the modern music scene is something I’ve tried to digest, which I found to be like choking down a plate of raw oysters laced with salmonella. It would be nice to enjoy fresh musical acts. I want to hear new songs. I like some young people, especially when they get my order right. But real music is written and performed by humans, not a fucking computer program linked up to a laser show. Fact: The more fancy gadgets and distractions you need, the most your music just flat out sucks. Music should convey some sense of humanity — who we are, and what we feel. I know that’s a hard concept to digest since your idea of a relationship is picking up a new Twitter follower. Where’s the love and romance in the mind-numbing rubbish that’s played at most nightclubs? Is there any conveyance pain and loss? Or pride and joy? How about playing a catchy tune that’s just fun to sing along with? Is that too much to fucking ask? I don’t expect to like everything that’s new. As an amateur observer of the human condition, I freely acknowledge that successive generations are obliged to a continuation of the species which sometimes entails pushing boundaries and violating the preferences of their elders. History shows the more radically different one generation is from one to the next, the greater degree of innovations are sparked from such permutations. Music is just one by-product of inevitable cultural and technological shifts, sometimes mislabeled as advances. Yes, yes, yes! New music should piss off plenty of parents and leathery jokers like me. At least I’ll accept “cultural evolution” as being inevitable, and necessary. If you don’t believe this, take a look at the past century. Nearly a hundred years ago, traditional musicians hated a new sound called jazz. Later, jazz loyalists despised rock n’ roll and even the early sound of Motown. After that, the rockers hated disco music. Then, just about everyone hated New Wave and the 1980’s. Next came rap music which irritated everyone over the age of 30. Now, it’s hip hop and something called dubstep, which is essentially music made by computers and sound-making software. This garbage makes rap sound like fucking Amadeus. There’s a reason this “music” is used as a weapon on suspected terrorists, forcing them to wear earphones and being bombarded with such abuse for hours. I’m not making this up. This is the brain-frying shit they put on the headphones and strap to the ears of prisoners who are handcuffed behind their backs and sit naked in jail cells while they are forced to endure this madness. I’d rather blow my fucking brains out, and if I ever did managed to get out, I’d be running off to join the nearest terrorist cell in order to extract my revenge. I know what you’re thinking. You want to go after my music. You want to blast away at me. Go ahead, fuckers. See if you can top what I like at the conclusion of this article. You’re drawing so fucking dead you should even be in my game. So, what constitutes real music? Here’s a list of things I believe to be essential. REAL MUSIC DEFINED BY NOLAN DALLA: (1) Real music is created by humans, not by a machine or a computer. (2) Real music has structure and consistency. (3) Real music elicits real emotions — of love, loss, anger, fear, happiness, hope, inspiration, or anything related to the gambit of being human. (4) Real music requires talent. (5) Real music requires instruments and/or voices. (6) Real music should be cross generational. (7) Real music shouldn’t need gadgets or special effects to be enjoyed. When one of those fucking machines creates a sound that can somehow match this magical majesty, then give me a call. Until then, don’t label what you listen to as “music.” It’s not music. It’s garbage.

Anonymous 88848

I know I am probably going to cop a ban for this absolute sperg but whatever, I miss the old fucking lolcow.farm and hate that this place has basically become a white feminist SJW refugee board.

I am sick of the constant "men are so evil!" posts that are literally in every goddamn thread now, even threads that have zero shit to do with scrotes. When the hell did this place become the Nordfront for feminazis? Like if you hate men so much, why are you constantly talking about them or obsessing over some scrote's dickpics like a thirsty femcel? I don't see how that is any better than the reddit incels you claim to hate so much, you guys all act alike at the end of the day.

And I seriously don't get why this board has allowed snowflake dangerhairs to take over and start bossing the culture. Yeah, maybe the old lolcow was a little too 4chan waifu harem, but it was ridiculously funny too, and people were a lot less assmad about shit that didn't concern them. I've had several libtards chimp out on me for something that I didn't even think would be an issue, because up until recently, no one gave a damn. Sometimes I don't want to write, or read, some pseudo-intellectual metacritic breakdown on a cow. They're cows, it just isn't that serious, and this isn't a hugbox for your triggered feefees. The majority of them deserve to be trolled and laughed at, and I don't get why it's suddenly bad to make fun of these people…isn't that why we're here? To laugh and get good milk?

Like idk anymore, I didn't want to believe this place has changed but I finally had to admit to myself it has. It was fun while it lasted, and I loved being here, but it just isn't the same. Sad.

Anonymous 88884

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi'll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi've been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weeaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has neber meen mimasu'd before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks that anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus accross the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu's the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You're fucking shinimashita'd, akachan.

Anonymous 88886

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There`s more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.

Anonymous 88905


KEK i bet many moids were not a fan of this one

Anonymous 89205

Besides the constant inserts of appallingly unconscious egotism and ageism, is it bad to say that I unironically agree with this pasta?

Anonymous 89206

yes. i don't see what there is to agree with. what's wrong with new wave? it's definitely not largely hated. glam rock and disco are. rap and hip hop are very good when varied.

Anonymous 89228

I was in a bar in Florida and they had an empty piano sitting there. In walked a very large Russian guy speaking broken English and he asked the bartender if he could play the piano. He started playing popular show tunes and no one was really paying attention to him . He saw me looking at him and he said to me what would you like to hear and I said I'm sure you don't know the music that I like and he replied try me. I said Bladee. He started with Let's Ride and played about 10 songs by Bladee before he left. I asked the bartender who he was and he said I have no idea I've never seen him before. It was great almost like a ghost walked in played Bladee and then disappeared. It was an interesting night that I enjoyed immensely. I think this memory of mine pretty much indicates how universal and overarching the music Bladee makes.

Anonymous 89261

The writer of that post never once claimed that new wave is largely hated (of course it isn’t because then it wouldn’t even exist in the first place).
But you can’t deny that modern pop is just toilet water music. Manufactured for shallow means and meant to last for a few months at most until it’s digested by the masses, forgotten about, then flushed down and replaced by the new “trendy top hit”.
And new wave rap is absolute trash.

Anonymous 89262

Same anon that replied before, but I highly recommend watching this video that perfectly sums up why modern music is so bland.

Anonymous 89265

no, not the writer of the post, but the copypasta said it. i wasn't talking about new wave rap. i was talking about new wave. the copypasta was specifically talking about new wave, not new wave rap. it's in chronological order.

>After that, the rockers hated disco music. Then, just about everyone hated New Wave and the 1980’s.

Anonymous 89276

Anonymous 101588


I have a Grinch fetish. My boyfriend knows about this and for the most part accepts it. He isn't crazy about it and doesn't really get it but he at least tries which is all I ask. He'll sometimes read the book to me to set the mood, or if he's really feeling kinky tell me "You're a mean one" in the heat of the moment. He's even begrudgingly come around to at least playing one of the three versions of the film every time we do the deed (although we tend to stay away from the live-action one because it's too much for me).

The thing is, I don't want to hear about the Grinch or listen to the Grinch or watch the Grinch. I want to be fucked by the Grinch. And for the record this is common among women. The Grinch's bulging sack of toys to me (and many others) is what a Mack truck is to Cardi B. The fact that he's good with dogs and experienced trauma at a young age makes me want that long, fuzzy dick even more.

My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him straight up. I told him to put on the greenest, silkiest Grinch costume he could find, kidnap me from my bed on Christmas Eve, and then ravage me in front of the Christmas tree.

He flat out refused. Said it was too weird for him. I was literally begging this man to let this pussy save Christmas and he was like nah, I'm good. It ended up turning into a fight where he admitted he only gave into my initial Grinch kinks to placate me and was still uncomfortable about the fact that I had moaned "Grinch" during sex a few weeks ago, but only because his song was playing in the background.

So he's drawn a line. And if I don't drop the Grinch fetish (which as I said is incredibly common among women but sadly taboo) he's done for good. I don't want to lose him over this. But it's really hard for me to see past my sexual proclivities especially during Christmas season. Is there any way we can even compromise on this, or do I simply need a more adventurous man?

Anonymous 107756

Even the typing style in >>107243 is really weird. Moid exaggerating his idea of "girly typing", because he spends much of his time imagining what it's like to be an unintelligent, but generally happy young girl. Little to no basis in reality, and too low of an attention span to understand how women and girls actually navigate the internet in 2021.
Embodies his own "ideal" concept of a psuedo child bride who is naive, unspoiled, "trad" and obsessed with baking, uses kaomojis, but is also somehow an avid consumer of conservative media, to the point that it isolates her from any women with differing viewpoints (connection between women is dangerous, and feminist thought, especially radical feminism, is an abusive moid's nightmare). Lists this fake persona as young as he can possibly get away with on an imageboard. Intends to groom unsuspecting young women into embodying his child bride thoughtform so that he can later enter their lives with his actual identity by "coincidence" or "mutual friendship" ("You should talk to my friend, Not-Kevin! He's so smart and awesome!"). Uses e-mail to filter out the most pliable, young, eligible candidates.
Once you've seen one of these ops, you've seen them all. Very high chance "she" runs a Twitter account that posts the same kinds of idealized "traditional! feminine!" paintings, and carries much the same intent. 8chan used to have a board for this express purpose, run by moids from /pol/. The manipulative types of moids who do this think they're smart, but their morbid intentions always give them a disturbing energy.

Anonymous 110775

"Take a break Barry"? YOU REALIZE I WAS IN A GREAT MOOD? And I browsed the thread for five minutes and I'm here. I don't need a break, I need to block 4chan. This is a site made for f- anyone who's post- look at, look at you! IDIOT! LOOK AT YOU, YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU POSTING THIS SHIT, YOU FUCKING DUMB SHIT, YOU FUCKING MORON SHEEPS, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, YOU DUMB FUCKS, WHY ARE YOU SHILLING THIS FUCKING SHIT? YOU FUCKING MORONS, RUNNING AROUND LIKE ANTS IN HIROSHIMOOT'S MAZE

Anonymous 110878


Anonymous 111039

iha ok, mut ootko kattonu simpsonit sarjasta jakson himo läski homer :D siinä esiintyy koko simpsonit perhe eli myös bart simpsons homer poika fanit saavat nauraa ja naurattaahan se tietty myös vaikka homerin läski kuteet ja muut :D kannattaa kattoo nopee

Anonymous 111047

I feel bad for kevinanon if she's a girl, but if she isn't then everyone please ignore this shitpost. That FF post was like a younger more retarded version of mine so I'm worried anons didn't add mine because they think I was a moid for the same reasons.

Tfw no crystal cafe baking friend #notwanon1234

Anonymous 111049

Samefag to say that's not a real tag, it was a joke one, don't moid-report me I'm literally menstruating

Anonymous 111535

I don't fucking need an EB or even friends to have fun. Unlike the rest of you pathetic no lifes I have realized that relationships with others are beneath me. EBs/friends these are things that tie you down and limit your potential. I am tired of pretending like a nice guy to appease the inferior normie masses. No longer will I be shackled by something stupid like love. A mere chemical reaction in your brain that is all. Logic is what reigns Supreme and when I perfect my Logic I perfect my self.

Anonymous 111536

I don't fucking need an EB or even friends to have fun. Unlike the rest of you pathetic no lifes I have realized that relationships with others are beneath me. EBs/friends these are things that tie you down and limit your potential. I am tired of pretending like a nice guy to appease the inferior normie masses. No longer will I be shackled by something stupid like love. A mere chemical reaction in your brain that is all. Logic is what reigns Supreme and when I perfect my Logic I perfect my self.

Anonymous 111556

Kek, this is from the FFXIV general isn't it?

Anonymous 114938

Look, "moid", if that's even your real name, I see what you are trying to do. Under the ruse of innocent "tech enthusiasm", you are guiding innocent girls who don't know better straight to their swift and sure demise. Luring them in with your "clicky keyboards" and your "Linux" OS. Do you think we are unaware of your rape lairs and your regular breast-binding gatherings?
It happens to the best of our girls. One day they are googling "Ubuntu", the other they are lurking the likes of /g/, and then the next one they are injecting testosterone to the dim light of an anime waifu on the screen in front of them.
I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You're like a merciless predator waiting to fill its stomach with the flesh of its young victims. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
Something has to be done about the Linux-to-human-trafficking pipeline.

Anonymous 114943

ngl, this is the type of shitpost that makes me wonder if a guy wrote it.

Anonymous 114994

The problem with modern 4chan(nel) isn't /pol/ or shills or reddit or whatever. It's the fact that every board is just an echo of the same opinions and lazy low-effort content over and over again. The people using this site these days have decided that the only way to be cool is to hate everything and make every post some kind of low-effort dunk in the hopes of being seen as "based" and "redpilled". Nearly all the people with original thoughts are gone, or at least post far less often and on more niche boards. The only think keeping 4chan afloat in this dire state is that the alternatives are even worse as message boards die off and the internet is increasingly consolidated into about half a dozen websites.

yes lmao

Anonymous 115012

I can’t believe these gullible astrology girls. they really believe in anything. I’m categorically a soyboy male with traditionally delta attributes but I align myself more with the sigma lifestyle

Anonymous 115013

The phrase “it’s just a game” is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, you’ve lost twice.

There’s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.

Anonymous 117314

What you need is my Stand "The World".

What you can find beyond the powers of my Stand is where you need to go in order to find Heaven. What you need is a trustworthy friend. He must be someone capable of controlling his own desires. He must be someone who is not interested in political power, fame, wealth, or sexual desire, and who chooses the will of God before the law of humans.

Will I, DIO, be able to meet someone like this one day?

What I also need is the lives of more than 36 humans who have sinned, because those who have sinned harbor a strong power within.

There are 14 phrases that one must keep in mind:

Spiral staircase (らせん階段, Rasen Kaidan)

Rhinoceros beetle (カブト虫, Kabutomushi)

Desolation Row (廃墟の街, Haikyo no machi)

Fig tart (イチジクのタルト, Ichijiku no taruto)

Rhinoceros beetle (カブト虫, Kabutomushi)

Via Dolorosa (ドロローサへの道, Dororōsa e no michi)

Rhinoceros beetle (カブト虫, Kabutomushi)

Singularity point (特異点, Tokuiten)

Giotto (ジョット, Jotto)

Angel (天使エンジェル, Enjeru)

Hydrangea (紫陽花, Ajisai)

Rhinoceros beetle (カブト虫, Kabutomushi)

Singularity point (特異点, Tokuiten)

Secret emperor (秘密の皇帝, Himitsu no Kōtei)

I'll engrave these words onto my Stand so I won't forget them. What is most necessary is "courage"; I must have the courage to destroy my Stand momentarily. As it disintegrates, my Stand will absorb the souls of the 36 sinners and will give birth to something utterly new.

Whatever is born will "awaken". It will show interest in the 14 words that my trusted friend will utter… My friend will trust me and I will become his "friend".

Lastly, I need an appropriate location. North latitude, 28 degrees, 24 minutes, West longitude 80 degrees, 36 minutes…

Go there and wait for the New Moon…

That's when Heaven will come.


Anonymous 117361
















































Anonymous 117362

oh i forgot this site italicized everything enclosed between single '*'. kind of removes the comedy from this but whatever

Anonymous 117367

oh that's what caused the 0 comedy

Anonymous 117369

kek leave me alone

Anonymous 117374


hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Anonymous 117966

I am attracted to Ryan Reynolds, but only because I feel like I could make him cry if I pushed him.

Anonymous 117993


go away megayman

Anonymous 120425

based cypherpunk

Anonymous 132799

I have something to admit. I'm sexually attracted to Thwomps. They are the most dominant, masculine creatures ever thought up by mankind. And the sound they make is so beautiful. EH-UNGH. Music to my ears. I often fantasize about stepping out of my shower naked and suddenly being crushed by a thwomp, killing me instantly

Anonymous 206712

No. You know what? Just go away.
Every time someone posts a picture, a gif, a video, a screenshot, or just anything really that involves some kind of "corporate" thing - A video game, a logo, or probably just even the town hall of a city given how overboard you dummies go, you have to r/HailCorporate it.
I'm done. I've had enough. You can't just spam r/HailCorporate and expect an upvote. You can't just be like "dude, you're playing a game?" and post r/HailCorporate. You just can't. I doubt you even work for corporate given how against them you are. You live in a cardboard box, typing on your CrapBook Pro, feeling good about yourself because you think you just "called someone else out" for being a corporate shill.
Just who do you think you are? Some epic 12-year-old on the internet with le cool fedora posting about how "corporate shill hails this, corporate shill hails that?" Well, I've got news for you. You aren't anything. You aren't epic, you aren't a 12-year-old, and your fedora certainly isn't le cool.
I hope in time you will learn that not everybody and everything is a corporate shill.

Anonymous 206835

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called Linux, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.

There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called Linux distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux!

Anonymous 266236

Anonymous 7 months ago No. 345341>>345369>>345371>>345372

File (hide): 1692393430612.jpg (67.05 KB, 720x533, 1631567111224.jpg)

Each time I see Lucinda with her natural hair it drive me nut. I have this fantasy of her finishing her spooky bonespo era and going into her fit king era. She would find a career in a loony bin for ED and be a caretaker there ( or whatever the ppl manhandling you there are called ).

I would be a short chubby girl in the ward in terrible need of attention. Would create all type of useless drama.

Lucinda would be wearing tomboyish light sport wear to be able to work, her slim toned body would be tan, her old scars glistening. Her dark curly hair would brush against her cheekbones in a simple shag cut.

I would always try to get her attention by acting frail but be tough in front of the other patients. I would make her shifts miserable by doing everything in the attention whore book, from faking fainting to refusing meds. Each time she would loom over me with her knee bent and hands on hips saying :

" okaih stop beinh a chivkgrn, your an unicirn princess remember "

One day were the patients would be let out to roam around in the facility exterior yard with a few care takers, I would be abnormaly calm. The sun was shining, I was slowly walking through the warm breeze. We finally have to get back in, I don't even protest, just calmely go through the doors, last in line. Luci count us, everything is good. Oh no. She made a mistake. Not wanting to be in trouble with the other workers she let the other patients go into the building calmely, than rush out. She know my fat ass don't have the cardio she has now that she is king of gains. Her eagle eye spot me running toward the yard's back wall, she shout
Lucy is closing in on me, she appear to my right, turn her head to look at me and leap on me like a Ballerina. She let out a short and strong athletic scream. She then savagely pin me to the ground, carefully stoping my noggin' from bouncing on the hard soil. I used the adrenaline left in me to crawl out of under her put I get stuck against a tree. While I try to get back up by using the trunk as support, Lucinda swiftly kabedon me. Towering over my scrawled down body, her bouncy curls hide her face. Like a moment stoped in time, each of us trying to figure out our next move, I see the light breeze making her locks sway against her fit arm, firmly pressed on the tree. A pump was travelling all through her heavily breathing body. As I try to side step she slam her other palm on the tree's bark next to my head. I let out a little squeal. She grunt ounce and sway her hips and lower body to stabilise her footing. I can feel her breathing in my face.

-" your z princess not a chicken remember ? ".
I try to say a thing but I can't make up even a word, her sparkling brown eyes are staring at my face and slowly panning down my body to see if I got hurt. My clothes were a bit torn, and my body all sweaty and red from the action that just went on.
All of a sudden I feel the intense shame from what I put her through during the whole stay, I shield my own body with my arms and tell her :

-" I'm sorry Luci, I should not have put you in such situation, I'm so selfish ".

She look shocked and want to babble out a few words but took back her composure.

-" it's alright , princess sometime are a bit slefish " .

I let out in a high pitch cry:



She calm a bit down.

-" YOur are jsut in q difficult place and need care and attentiond "

Lucinda got her face a bit closer to mine to hear what I was trying to say.

-" But Luci, you are so confidant and hot. I'm a loser next to you..You are magical and strong…like…like a.."

-" Like a unicorn ? "

-" yeah…would… Would you be my unicorn ? Since I'm your princess… "

-" Whatt ? "

I stucked my cheek against her's and put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped a little, but slowly started sliding her hands down my arms. Her spooky hands grabed the fat on my sides, as she said to me

-" We dont have much time princrdss, what do you want to do ? "

-" just play me like a jazz aman"

Lucinda would jump in 5th gear and kiss me all over and binge on my pussy like its dulce de leche.
But no need to purge,

its carbs free.

Toot toot

Anonymous 266261

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

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