/b/ - Random

i've made this thread before on a different board. god i look like a data miner. but i'm really interested in this

it's been hard, personally, to try and distinguish whether or not i actually am an aphant; because experiencing & literally seeing things within my own brain is a state that can't be compared with others, so it's not as if i'll know for sure. i do 'know' what i'm thinking of, but i'm not so sure it qualifies as imagery. if we're not all conceptualising 'seeing' as the same, then there's no way to firmly compare what we're capable of. do i SEE the apple? do i SEE blue? i feel that i can recall it, but not enough, and that once put my heart down into my stomach. like, others can SEE that? now i'm indifferent, and not so uncomfortable with the possibility of lacking this ability

for sounds, i've felt a couple times while in the daze of pre-sleep that i'm hearing things that i'm not wilfully conjuring - the sounds are almost 'there', audible. i also do dream, and once i'm coming out of them, i know i touched, saw and felt things. but the recollections fade, and my brain cannot do that while conscious (obviously not - but the ability isn't even sectioned down, it's then not really there at all, too subdued.)

i never saw things when i read books, and i had my head in them a lot as a kid. even now, i don't bother to try & picture the things described to me. i like the words themselves (a sort of logophile), and their arrangements are the part i come back for. the backgrounds built up by the descriptions are only 'there' in a strange, imprecise way

>>325781
i don't really have the best memory, but i can perfectly remember the face of the only girl (or person in general) i've ever dated. i draw her a lot, and we even reconnected recently, and yes she loved the drawings :)

>>325783
this made me smile. is it bittersweet to remember her so well compared to other things, or simply nice? it was a sweet thing to share, i wasn't expecting something so soft

>>325781
That's a lot of questions but yeah I can see the apple in vivid detail in my head. Down to the little brown spots on the leaf and the sheen on the skin of the apple. I can change the shape, color, etc at will. Really the level of detail is dependent on how much you can recall based on past experiences and use those memories to formulate a new vision in your head. You know now that I mention it out loud that does sound a lot like AI.

>>325784
thank you, i'm glad my silly love life (or lack thereof) can make someone smile.

i can share a bit more; her and i are flirting again, and even though it's been years, we've always missed each other dearly (obviously me a bit more than her though).

when we reconnected recently, i was so awkward at first i texted her something like:
"i've completely forgotten how to communicate in the slightest and i'm so embarrassed i just threw up… the only thing that could save me now is if you sent 'i'm sorry you have the wrong person.'"

but now, it's like our friendship hasn't changed in the slightest :).
she was the best best friend i ever ever had, and i made damn sure to tell her that haha.

i was never able to get over her, so i thought "why not just try again," and i've never before in my entire life been so glad of a choice i've made.
no matter where this goes i'll always love her, and i do hope i can be the person to give her the care and attention she deserves.

Don't know if there's such thing but I went from hyperphantasia to aphantasia over the years from mental suffering and trauma plus aging. I didn't have photograph level visual imagination but it was really vivid and rich

This image is an entirely inaccurate description of how it feels to visualise images, especially for the literal-minded (such as those with a certain disorder common on imageboards). Also, it seems like a great way to totally mislead aphantasiacs about the experience of mental imaging and lead them to believe that others literally create hallucinations lucid-dream style.
I don't necessarily blame the artist for this just because it is a difficult thing by nature to translate into a real image, but I don't think this is the only possible way either.
If you interpret the scale as metaphorical, then I am something like a 2. Decent but not, like, eidetic, which is what I guess 1 is supposed to represent.

I genuinely believe this whole idea is a meme gullible moids took seriously

>>325918
?????? are you retarded, or?

>>325943
No I’m a genius

>>325944
why do you think it’s a meme. it’s real