Asexuality Anonymous 36860
How many of you are asexual? I feel like a significant portion of CC is.
I've never been in a relationship as I've rejected any guy who has asked me out, so I don't think I know for sure. I think my distrust of men has led to me feeling this way. The only guys I'm able to be attracted to and consider crushes are guys I don't talk to.
Can anyone relate?
>the only guys I'm able to be attracted to and consider crushes are guys I don't talk to.
Does only liking anime boys count
I am aro&ace. I always loved anime boys growing up, and always found myself fantasizing about romantic relationships, but as soon as someone said they were attracted/interested in me, I found myself in disgust or turned off? Like please leave me alone…I couldn't understand why I was like this until my then best friend (I was 18) told me, hey, you might be aro/ace. I consider myself to be specifically lithromatic and lithsexual.
No, that makes you cartoonsexual.
I am aromantic and asexual.>>36866
Liking someone from far doesn't mean you want to have sex with them. Many asexuals can't even imagine sex is the real thing that happens in the real world because it is completely different to fantasize about something and do it in sweaty, disgusting reality.
aexuality doesn´t exist, is made up tumblr cope, not a real thing.
>>36946>made up tumblr cope
AVEN was founded in 2001. I don’t see why people like you get pissy when people with low/zero sex drives choose to label themselves as asexual. It hurts no one.
It does exist, not all asexuals are even Tumblr generation. Some asexuals think completely differently about sex, they don't have just a low libido but they don't understand whether a situation is sexual at all. I think about sex exactly like when I was a child, don't understand when someone is flirting with me or how men think. I think that sex is silly and it makes me giggle and getting naked is stupid in front of others. When people have sex they are basically digesting food at the same time and it turns into shit. I never realize which men are flirting with me, even when they get naked because I have met some hippies that just walk around naked and it is nothing sexual. I didn't realize that in movies people had actual intercourse, because it was not shown on the screen. I thought this way when I was 25. Now over 30. In my case I'm also probably autistic, so that's it.
But even when you consider teens who may be late bloomers calling themselves asexual then it is still understandable because sex is forced on young people everywhere. It is completely normal to be 15 and think that sex is gross and kissing is yucky but you have to hide it to be popular. Adults talk to teens as if they were tropes from a bad book, assuming very stereotypical things and don't listen when you say you don't like drinking, smoking, partying or boys. Or even when you think typical teen things are extremely stupid. So it is obvious that teens look for communities where they can be accepted for what they are and where they don't have to pretend they like sex. Even if they will like it later.
>>36962>When people have sex they are basically digesting food at the same time and it turns into shit.
What? You have to explain this, anon.
nta but I think they're referencing that your body is digesting food at all times, including during sex.
i don't see why that is a reason to find sex disgusting, though. everyone is technically turning food into shit at all times, that doesn't mean I'm going to giggle at a world leader because that's occurring in their body at a given moment.
>>36947>AVEN was founded in 2001
It doesn't matter, anon's point was that people who support this are the same ones who are either active in the political side of tumblr or would use it if existed in their generation.
And that matters why? How does that invalidate the existence of asexuality?
Because the only people who claim it's real are mentally ill and don't know how things work?
Explain how asexuality “isn’t real.” Are you saying it’s not possible for people to be uninterested in sex?
The only situation where people can be uninterested in sex is if they experienced trauma and they're sex repulsed, anything else is incel cope.
I think "asexuality" exists in that there are people who do not feel sexual attraction, but I dont think they need their own special sexuality and arent comparable to gays, lesbians and trans. theyre basically just straight people, as defaults
That's not how sexuality works. Your personal distaste for the guys who've asked you out doesn't determine what you're capable of being attracted to.
Stuff like this is not as easy as it seems, so I don't know what to tell you, other than try some explicit material and see where that takes you.
No, it is possible to be biologically not that hormonal. Extremes exist in evolution. For instance, some people fuck anything, some people want the gender that wouldn't help them to produce babies, some have problems getting an erection and so on. It isn't anything that weird that some people don't want to have sex then.
Also, asexuality is defined as lack of sexual attraction for people, not that you don't want to masturbate.
asexualitiy as an identity and sexuality is not a real thing. You are just another normal ass person that doesn`t have a huge libido. You didn`t mention a single thing that is not a common normal ass person`s trait.
And it gets really dumb when they start with the "i`m asexual but asexuals have sex too! and get romantic!" Fuck that, not real, the deeper you validate that crap the more retarded it gets.
>don't understand when someone is flirting with me or how men think.
Thats not a sexuality, you are just using some generic trait every other person has and making a label out of it. You are just socially akward beta girl, don`t cope with made up terminology.
>In my case I'm also probably autistic, so that's it.
Asexuals are not attracted to people and they don't get aroused by people. "People" is the key here (or animals, just to exclude zoophiles). Everything else doesn't matter, they can have sex, but this is only physical, there is no attraction involved.
For instance, if a man can get off by fucking a hole in the wall it doesn't mean he is attracted to walls. He won't see walls sexually, doesn't feel any attraction, ejection happens just as a result of mechanical activity.
For some asexuals it is the same way. Others won't have sex ever.
Being romantic has nothing to do with sex or sexuality.
>You didn`t mention a single thing that is not a common normal ass person`s trait.
Asexuals are normal too. But most sexual people understand sex differently than they did before puberty. Many asexuals don't. Nothing in their brain related to sex changed during puberty. They still think that naked people are funny/boring/cold and kissing scenes are boring/slimy or whatever they thought as children. It is not the same as having sexual interests but being to shy or picky. They don't recognize sexual situations not because they are bad reading other people's minds but sex isn't a real thing for them. Part of the brain that interprets sexual cues and also social context related to it (like jealousy, monogamy, sex as a sin, shame, sluttiness, etc) is completely missing.
For instance, most people think that certain makeup and dresses sexualize children. I don't see it that way because I see only shapes, whether that specific color or dress suits that child. I don't like child pageants because they are tacky and adults force them on children, not because children dress too sexy. I just don't see anything else but shapes and colors.
>Being romantic has nothing to do with sex or sexuality.>Everything else doesn't matter, they can have sex>Asexuals are normal too.
Yeah, if i was not convinced before now i am super not convinced
Epic refutation, i’m convinced asexuality isn’t real now.
How does any of those sentences confirm that asexuality is not real?
Asexuality is an orientation, it is not the same as being frigid or having a low libido. Avoiding having sex is the smallest problem for asexuals, the daily life is meant for people thinking sexually after puberty. They have to navigate in this sexual world. Defining asexuality is important because of this and also for people themselves to recognize they are asexual, instead of trying out all kinds or sexualities and genders and forcing themselves to have sex. >>37461
This is not even a refutation, there were no arguments.
>>37514>it is not the same as being frigid or having a low libido.
Seems like exactly the same.
How? You haven't explained even once why it is the same.
Just like heterosexuality isn't about low libido for the same gender, asexuality isn't either. They both lack attraction, not just libido against certain gender (or both).
I'm not asexual, but I can easily imagine how someone might be biologically unable to be attracted to other people and that there is likely a spectrum between complete asexuality and hypersexuality. It's not hard to imagine how one's sexuality or lack thereof might be determined to some extent by both innate biology and environmental factors, and that as a «new» niche and historically ignored group asexual people have created an easy-to-don identity that hangers-on will use to stand out even if they don't really feel that way. I have no way of telling who is «legitimately asexual», so I'll just judge people by who they are instead. And really, it's never too hard to tell the poseurs from the people who really feel that way.
>>37514>This is not even a refutation
I know lol, I was just being sarcastic
you are literally describing completely standard people with low libido, also being dellusional about how is such a big trouble or the world is somehow difficult to navigate. Is ridiculous. This kind of labels should not be validated, it´s an excuse to play pretend in the identity politics rpg game.
Homosexuals and heterosexuals have no attraction to one gender. Asexuals have no attraction to both genders. If you agree that lack of interest in the opposite gender is not just low libido then asexuality isn't just about libido either.
It has nothing to do with politics. It is important for people to understand their sexual orientation, instead of forcing themselves to have sex or even worse, getting married, having children and needing to stay married and provide for their husband sexually because couldn't raise the children on their own.
no one is forcing anyone anything, this baloney with make believe identities is just there to confuses kids even more. A lot of it is toxic validation if you ask me.
My past experience with people who oppose sexuality are people who can only think about is sex and or squeezing out as many babies as possible. Kind of like how I think the more homophobic someone is the more they are in denial of being gay.
I do agree that the tumblr movement ruined ace, trans and gay movements making a ridiculous pitty fight. Making the terms seem more like a joke and something to tack on to seem more special. But it didn't stop there.
I don't find being ace a cope for incels, if anything they seem to be the ones more oppose to it. Yes some aces have trauma, doesn't mean all of them do. But like everything there isn't one set rules on how it should be. For example just because your straight doesn't mean you have to find every man attractive. Asexual may or may not find people attractive. Some may have sex for the sake of their partner. But I don't think aces enjoy sex or feel much pleasure.
I wish to become asexual, how do I do that?
the only way i can think of is taking medication that kills libido.
Which kind? At this point I'm willing to do anything to fix myself.
well ssris seem to fuck up your libido and its easy to get prescription apparently
I'll try that and hopefully it works. I don't really know what else to do. I hate being this way.
im on 3 medications that are supposed to kill my sex drive, im still hypersexual due to life long sexual trauma
i dont understand how can anyone agree to take 3 meds (ssri?) daily. girl at this point u should just use heroin
I'd say I'm pretty asexual but heteroromantic. I always crush on guys and want to play home with them until my heart is broken and I have a short period when I think I'll never do it again and then some guy does w/e they always do and I'm again riding the bus to heartbreak via his arms. It's weird. I want the guys to be sexy but I also don't really care about sex so idk??
Fuck. I don't think I have severe sexual trauma. I mostly escaped it actually happening, even though I was in a couple situations where it almost happened as a kid. I don't know why I am the way I am, I just know it's been this way since puberty. I can't live like this.
How do I begin to figure out if I'm ace? I'm constantly horny but it's directed at my daydreams or erp content only. I've never found any real or fictional person physically attractive and the idea of fucking someone IRL turns me off. I have done it with a moid and it was even more mind-numbingly mediocre than I could've imagined.
What do you want from life? I think I might be both asexual and schizoid. I never had a crush (real or fictional), never found anybody attractive, I don't enjoy anybody's company and I don't ever feel lonely. I was always content, but now its beginning to feel like the world is built in its entirety for someone else.
My goal was always to find a job I could do remotely, buy some land and a house and live a pretty simple life spending time on my hobbies.
With the current state of the world that feels outright impossible. My savings are shrinking instead of growing. Getting a reasonable loan is impossible on my income. I could easily acheive what I want if I shared my expenses (and life) with someone but I'm not sure its worth the price.
While I do accept asexuality I don't accept demisexuality. Not that I think it's fake but idk it doesn't feel like it should be considered a sexuality? Also I hate people telling me that I'm probably demi because the idea of being sexually attracted to a random person is weird.
I'm not convinced asexuality is real. But if it is "distrust of guys" isn't it.
when did everyone get so obsessed with made up words for BS that doesn't exist?
for all of human history, we have recognized that some people are very interested in having sex and others not so much. It's literally just a personal preference.
It would be like people who dislike bacon creating a whole word for it and then basing their identity around that.
>>195762>when did everyone get so obsessed with made up words for BS that doesn't exist?
People need to be transparent and to define themself precisely for the Market, so the Market can see through them and know what to sell to them. It is most convenient when people just announce to the world their consuming preferences in matters of medias, other humans, food… in excruciating details.
Hence the new words. This is just market segmentation disguised as sexual liberation.
To be fair n0nnie, asexuals are pretty much the only one of the new gays that aren't made up. A lot of people with autism (or other issues) have 0 sexual anything in them and that deserves actual recognition as an identity more than any of the made up shit straight people use to be "queer"
What is the point?
That's a great point. I hadn't considered that, but it makes a lot of sense.
and eventually, we'll only be allowed to identify with a pre-defined personality template. Instead of being individuals, we're relegated to being nothing more than robots.
That guy made the argument.
To him, this also means the end of desire.
No, I get what they mean. I feel like queer still implies an interest in sex. Asexuals can be hetroromantic or homoromantic idk if that's the right terminology
. So like, a asexual who likes the opposite sex only in a romantic way isn't queer. They're just not interested in sex.
I don't see the point in having it as a separate identity unless we're talking about the "aromantics" or the ones who genuinely don't want any kind of sex or romance for whatever reason. Homo/hetero/biromantics are literally just gay/straight/bi people with low or no sex drive.
Yeah but why would you deserve (or even need) recognition from people of your lack of sexual interest?
Bunch of narcissistic souls, I'm telling you.
hmm personally knowing about asexuality and talking with other people who feel the same way could have helped me a lot while i was a teen. everyone is confused and more or less insecure at that age, and for people who have less common sexualities it can be an extra challenge.
i forced myself to have sex with multiple people in hopes of fixing myself, felt less than other people, wondered about having medical conditions and feared that i could never find someone that would be okay with dating me.
knowing about asexuality can save a lot of stress and painful experiences for someone who feels different and wrong because of it.
there are also aromantics who aren't asexual
Is loveless fucker really a queer orientation now?
only if that person is also gay or something like that
Split attraction model don't real btw.
maybe for women but its scrote sexuality 101
so just gay/straight/bi people with commitment issues, no point in separating them. actually I think the compartmentalization and separation of sex and romance is doing way more harm than good for everyone regardless of orientation
I get you. We come back to the lack of sexual education. A simple "some people enjoy having sex a lot, some a bit, some never. And sometimes it changes. Everyone is different" would suffice.
I still get the feeling that this is a mountain out of a mole hill because it's made by teenagers (with non-genuine encouragement from the Market) but no one know you're a teenager full of hormones or a dog on the Internet.
Ayrt because I think if someone experiences 0 sexual desire then that kind of excludes them from being straight or gay. Every new sexual identity that we have now is a fancy way of saying "I am straight but I am terrified of beinf perceived as straight because I have to be special". An asexual is just an asexual
>I'm going to use this sex flag to show that I don't like sex.
>>199495>Asexuals can be hetroromantic or homoromantic idk if that's the right terminology. So like, a asexual who likes the opposite sex only in a romantic way isn't queer. They're just not interested in sex.
yeah, they are not interested in sex meaning they are not interested in any
of two sexes, in any way, not that they just don't like intercourse but have feelings
also i feel like i've been transported back to my 2014 tumblr dashboard holy shit it's neverending.
so dumb, like why do they need a flag to say they're celibate? ok you dont wanna have sex cool you're not special. i guess i could technically be considered "asexual" but i find labels like that so stupid and useless that i don't consider myself to be one.
can't the same be said for every sexuality's flag tho. Like as a straight as can be woman, making fun of self-identified asexuals for having a flag while gays lesbians bisexuals and all the genderspecials have their own flags seems ridiculous to me. Two sides of the same coin if you ask me.
>>200390>comparing asexuals to bi, gays and lesbians
Are you serious?
nta and not even ill-intentioned i just want to understand your pov, what is the problem with that?
they're obviously different in the sense that they feel sexual attraction and asexual dont, but beyond that theyre still orientations that differ from the norm and that present more challenges socially speaking that simply being straight no?
It's an oppression game for them
i'm not even asexual but having had a sexual dysfunction i sympathize. one of the main critiques i see of asexuality especially from lgbt people is that they've never gone through sexuality-based oppression and while on many levels that's definitely true, anyone who isn't even downright asexual but has simply had low libido or sexual dysfunctions can testify to how socially isolating these experiences are and how sex is literally everywhere and if you for some reason don't want or can't partake in it, or even don't want to simply hear about it, well good luck! lol
it's not that people shouldn't talk about sex, in fact i believe sex has to be talked about even more than it is for multiple reasons, it's just genuinely frustrating for some people because it's indeed a sensitive topic for so many yet they have no choice but to live in a world obsessed with it.
and lack of sexual activity or sexual desire is stigmatized. just an example, the word "prude". or how virginity while valued to an extent, does become ridiculous to the eyes of people after a while, and tbh it was never praised between teens, everyone knows there is peer pressure to lose it even among girls. at least, that was my experience.
asexuality definitely would have had a similar fate to homosexuality and bisexuality in terms of social exclusion, and it is very much frowned upon, atm it's completely justified for lgbt people to shit on asexuals and they're seen as the next weird thing who should be silent about it.
the reason it didn't experience the same degree of social issues is because it's by nature less easy to identify, for example you can tell a gay couple on the streets but you can't tell that someone walking around is asexual.
it doesn't mean they still don't experience drawbacks from their orientation and aren't just as presumed to be straight when they're not.
>>200717>anyone who isn't even downright asexual but has simply had low libido or sexual dysfunctions can testify to how socially isolating these experiences are
Thank you for having a sympathetic, nuanced take. Of course, I will never be murdered for not wanting to fuck (unless it's by an angry man), but the loneliness and lack of understanding sucks.
0 days since da gays on tumblr have said asexuals just didnt find the right one yet
I used to identify as asexual back when I had some woke friends irl and online. Later I became disillusioned with the queer community and decided they’re attention-seekers obsessed with sexuality, as well as realization how harmful the trans acceptance is.
Even though I never changed that I hate the idea of sex, would never participate in it, would not seek a relationship even if sexless because I don’t need it in my life, I feel people who call themselves asexuals are mostly cringe. And here goes all the snowflakes who think not having sex frequently makes them asexual too. Only shows how our society regressed due to sexualization.
I know only a few genuine asexual people but they don’t make this “orientation” (for me it’s a lack of thereof/lack of sexuality) their whole personality or any major discussion topic. They also happen to have similar interests to mine and are really cool close friends.
I am bitter every time I see ace symbols online because it reminds me stupidity of all these idiots who do nothing for any acceptance of people who wish to have sexless lives. This is a private topic and I don’t see why it should be a pride movement, but if someone happens to know and mocks a person, it’s bad too. Unfortunately the bandwagon orientation crazies don’t help, being so obsessed with their relations to other people that they can’t describe themselves without the mention of sexual preferences or lack of thereof and their twisted pronouns.
Screw the asexual movement and what it became. Why make a flag for it? What’s the point to call it an orientation? Thanks to these idiots and many people I never met personally but were active online, I feel like I wasted some portion of my youth. Screw them all.
Most people who hate on asexuals and tell them they have issues to work through ironically have a lot of hang ups with sexuality and think theyre dirty for masturbating or smth lmao
>>200944>asexuals are mostly cringe
I think this is because there are people sucked into LGBTQ+ shit but are too intimidated by all the hypersexualisation of everything all the time so they larp a sexuality that seperates them from that. If "queer" culture didn't include ramming fetishes down everyones throat by force in every LGBTQ+ community space, you wouldn't have people needing to fake asexuality as a shield against it
I think asexuality exists and my feelings mirror what >>200717
said also the struggles of ace people isn’t exclusive to asexuals which I think is why lgb people get annoyed at them. But to say that you don’t face any issues is a bit weird but I guess it’s cultural then. People will get nosey when you’re not married and old. It’s really satisfying when you find out there are others like you and you finally put a word to how you feel (or lack of).
On the other hand there’s nothing more cringe then someone saying “excuse me I’m sex repulsed can we not talk about sex” in gay circles, almost as cringe as queer theorists and queer tiktokers redefining the what is means to be gay/lesbian/bisexual.
Is it weird that while I don’t take aromantic people seriously I don’t mind aroace. Demisexuality is just too hyper specific and means nothing especially when “friends falling in love” is seen as the ideal relationship.
>>200717>anyone who isn't even downright unemployed but has simply had low income or freelance employment can testify to how socially isolating these experiences are and how job is literally everywhere and if you for some reason don't want or can't partake in it, or even don't want to simply hear about it, well good luck! lol>it's not that people shouldn't talk about job, in fact i believe job has to be talked about even more than it is for multiple reasons, it's just genuinely frustrating for some people because it's indeed a sensitive topic for so many yet they have no choice but to live in a world obsessed with it. and lack of employment activity or employment desire is stigmatized. just an example, the word "neet". or how career success while valued to an extent, does become ridiculous to the eyes of people after a while, and tbh it was never praised between teens, everyone knows there is peer pressure to gain it even among girls
i think it's supposed to be a gotcha. it's a smart copypasta ngl but idk if the main message comes across
yeah i didnt understand the point but i agree jobs drive me insane and the things shes saying are true
You're right, NEETs should be represented in the gay flag too.
Are you implying working is comparable to sexuality? I dont get the meaning of this post
I still think it's funny how they added being black or brown to the gay pride flag.
Just goes to show that the majority of people waiving said flag dont actually give a shit about gay pride and its basically just the latest fad.
Now I just see random shit tacked onto it like the Ukraine stripes lol.
adding pepe makes about as much sense as anything else now
Asexuality rights are to gay rights, as NEET rights are to gay rights.
I am in the actual sense that I don't feel sexual attraction to someone. Been that way all my life and I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Then again, I have a verified Cluster A that lists a lack of sexual attraction as one of the common side effects. I can't speak for anyone else or their reasons. Luckily I also have almost no libido to go with it, otherwise I don't know how I'd cope with wanting to screw all the time but not having any example of who I would participate with. When I was younger, I would get frustrated and try to force myself to like men; when it didn't work, I tried to like women instead but, obviously, neither worked and I gave up. Now I'm just kind of glad I don't have to deal with the same obsessive preoccupation everyone else seem to have over looking for sex.
"Asexual" is just a descriptive term. I didn't know what I was experiencing had a name until I strayed across the term by chance looking through some old feminist material a few decades ago. No interest whatsoever in the strange focus on using one's sexuality (or lack thereof) as an identity and all this flag nonsense; it's shaped some of my life and who I ended up being, but I am me first and my traits second. Never participated in the strange communities and fandoms that seem to have sprouted up around idpol and I have no interest. I think a grand total of 3 people on the planet know that the term applies to me, and it's not something I think about unless I happen across threads like this on the few sites I occasionally discuss things on.>>37038
Dismissive over-simplification of potentially complex issues for the sole reason of disagreement is not typically a sign of intelligence.
that post seems like a very shoehorned response to one that didn't even mention if asexuality should be part of lgbt or not though
Because obviously it shouldn't.
yes, but is "should asexuality be part of the lgbt or not?" the only topic of discussion when it comes to asexuality? lol
in fact, the nona didn't even mention that in her post. she was talking about other things entirely. so that response either embarrassingly missed the point, or it was just some purposefully petty remark that had nothing to do with the topic at hand
Asexuals make some gays irrationally angry just by existing lol
It's almost like they want to hijack the movement out out of narcissism while gays need to fight homophobia
it's almost as if gays don't also shoehorn their way into asexual discussion.
this thread itself has an example of a gay or gay sympathizer person mocking someone over lgbt discourse when no one was saying that asexuals should be part of the group, and people were in fact talking about something else.
No one is "hijacking" a movement. "Hijacking" implies malicious intent and they're literally not doing anything to hurt gay rights.
Can you be attracted to only fictionally people?
Im not attracted to people in irl and find most people hard to look at.