Whoa, I've seen anons from Serbia and Slovenia, but I didn't think there'd be so much of us! I'm from Istria.>>41768>>41773
I've felt the same way as you for a long time. I'm from a small town and in high school I would always just go immediately home after class. For some reason I couldn't ever manage to connect to my classmates or even have a single normal conversation with them. I ended up cursing myself into a loop of friendlessness - I didn't go anywhere, get any experiences or get a chance to develop an interesting personality, but because that was the case, no one wanted to invite me anywhere to kickstart this process in the first place. Even after I'd literally asked some of them, after THEY asked me why I never go out, implying that I was some stuck up bitch that didn't like hanging out with them or having fun for whatever reason. Inside I was fucking begging them to at least invite me to coffee even just once - nope, lol. During this time I just talked to a group of internet friends from a video game we used to play, but with time our "friendship" sizzled out as well…
This kind of persisted for my first two years of university (also in a relatively small city) despite me doing my best to change, though I did at least meet my boyfriend during this time. It did kind of put all of my shallow attempted relationships with my acquaintances into perspective, that at this point I just cannot be bothered to go out with them because I know, no matter how much I try, nothing will come out of it.
However, surprisingly, I've gone on a student exchange to a foreign country this year, and for the first time in my life I'm meeting people that really like me and that I feel so accepted and fun hanging out with. It's such a breath of fresh air - I don't feel awkward, I don't feel judged, we have a similar sense of humor and can talk about the same shitty topics.
I think what I've come to realize from this is that sometimes, no matter how much effort you put in, you won't be able to force people to like you. I've gone through so many unpleasant outings and interactions in my first two years of uni that led literally nowhere, but the people that I interact with now I've felt like I've clicked with them right from the get go, without even feeling like I'm actually putting effort in. People online usually give you the advice to keep trying and put in "effort" in your relationships, but in my case, I think the effort should've been put into accessing opportunities to meet lots of different people. If you feel uncomfortable around them and can't open up as a person (or aren't understood even when you do open up), I just don't think it's the kind of relationship you should be striving to have.
In any case, I believe there is hope if you just take care to create opportunities to meet the right people. And I know that it's not easy and that it sucks. Good luck!
Also, on this topic>I just find it odd that people around me are having sex and especially that easily, like no way I could have sex with someone I don't even know honestly I don't understand how can they do it, both girls and guys, it mostly bothered my in high school when everyone starts doing it but I don't feel ready honestly sometimes I get into a some kind of a depressing loop because of it thinking I'll never be ready or that it will get harder>also I've never had a bf and that's also odd considering my age I feel like I'm a female incel
My viewpoint might be skewed and anecdotal because I'm from a smaller town, but it honestly doesn't feel like we have such a prevalent hookup culture as, say, in the States, and I felt the same way as you after reading countless threads on the topic before starting to actually interact with real people. Girls/women here just aren't really the types for casual sex, so people don't really do it that often outside of relationships, and I know enough people in their twenties who are still virgins. Hell, my boyfriend was a virgin until 26, when I met him, and one of the first things we talked about was incel meme shit. And from what he's told me, none of his friends made fun of him or really gave a shit, so lol. And in any case, basing yourself on society's bullshit made up standards for popping your cherry and forcing yourself to do something you don't want to won't do you any good in the long term.