/b/ - Random

>>90545
its okay to fart anon

>>90564
I'm terrified of the idea of moving in with anyone, let alone taking a long drive together. I know I'm probably mentally ill or some shit but I don't think it's something I could ever do

>>90566
You cannot escape it anon. At some point you will fart in front of someone. You will see it is no big deal and that most people ignore it out of politeness. Don't worry. It is okay to fart.

I don’t fart often since my diet is quite bland but I’ve done it before and I promise it’s just something you’ll get over. Sex is can get way grosser than farting queefing, cum, piss or blood or even vomit in the case of accidents, poo if you’re an anal-having degenerate, etc Don’t even get me started on if he sees you have a baby. Being a human is gross naturally and if you’re going to get close to someone, you’re going to end up being gross around them.
Guys think farts are funny anyway so the trashier ones may fart around you for fun, might as well assert dominance by doing it first (extra shock value cuz you’re a girl)

>>90569
AAAAAA MY EYES! SPOILER THIS SHIT

>>90570
picrel wrote this

>>90545
Me and my boyfriend fart in each other's presence all the time. We just giggle, maybe make a related joke and then move on. It's really not a big deal, especially once you've become comfortable with each other.

I can't even fart in front of my mom. I have never heard my mom fart either. I've lived with a man for 7 years and I can count on one hand the times I've farted in his presence. It was an accident every time, followed by a huge burst of adrenaline and a deep feeling of shame.

The first one was when I was falling asleep, my body relaxed and released a huge fucking thunderclap of a fart I'd been holding in for hours. I held my breath and listened hard for any signs of him being awake. He didn't stir but teased me about it the next day. I think that incident caused my brain to abstain from relaxing my shithole in my sleep, every morning since I've woken up with my stomach painfully bloated with air. For years. Something that had never happened before that.

The worst part is that it isn't even a good relationship so there's no reward for any of this. God I wish I was joking.

>>91461
god damn it, this is terrifying.

>>91461
kys

>>91461
What's wrong with farting? I fart in front of my family and tell them to inhale the smell. My dad is even more shameless and farts in front of his friends when they visit him at home. Just tell your man you need to fart before you do it so it feels less shameful. Then you can all laugh about it afterwards and you will never feel bad about it anymore.

>>90545
>picrel the universal experience of farting commands you to surrender

Just imagine it's your mum.

one time I traveled to meet a crush. at some point when we were hanging out, I took a nap because I was tired from traveling. I have a sensitive, weird digestion. So he told me that I farted a lot in my sleep. He found it cute. I was mortified

>>91521
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I will never sleep with anyone EVER AGAIN

SAY IT WITH ME MINERS!

NORMALISE


FARTING




IN FRONT




OF EVERYONE








!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been married like 8 years. My husband and I try and compete to out gross each other.

He has said my farts sound like a cow.

His farts have made me throw up once.

Me: 0
Him: 1

He may have won the battle but the war isn’t over.

>>91461
This is the funniest shit I have read on this website

I send him videos. Nothing scares me.

I fart once a week, it's always like a mini occasion for me but idk how I can fart more so I stop feeling excluded. I guess it's fomo.
>>91515 ok Stacy, no need to brag

>>90572 this is our new queen

>>91461 I recommend getting a fart chamber, a room to store most of your farts that is mostly soundproofed, or a fart container, to silence the sound. Otherwise, the fart pillow may do the trick. Make sure that this is exclusively for farts and wash in intervals. DO NOT make mix ups.
But one day, you will need to put on the big girl panties and just let it go. In front of people. Be unapologetically you, I believe in you queen!

i fart in front of people on accident sometimes i could care less

>>92803
> i could care less

So it’s embarrassing?

I try to keep eye contact while farting to assert dominance.

My boyfriend has a fart fetish so he actually begs me to fart in his face and mouth

>>93349
Do you enjoy this?

>>93354
Does nothing for me but I'm happy to do it for him