To normal looking/attractive looking ladies here, is it the normal for men to ask you out on dates in public? Or for example, you’re at the store, do men come up to you and flirt with you or ask you out and whatnot?
I’m trying to decipher if I am a femcel.
I consider myself normal/decent looking. It is not normal for men to ask me out in public, but random guys from stores and other places sometimes try to flirt with me. Once I was looking for books to buy and a guy came to me and asked for my number, that was the only moment when a random guy did it. It's usually a guy from work or my classes that tries to get my number or ask me out.
I have to say I'm not from USA or the other most common countries in sites like this, so I don't know how normal it is my experience.
Depends on where you're from. In my country, it's a common joke that the way Americans moids ask women out on dates to their faces or for their numbers in public is some creepy serial killer shit
I’m in North America, idk I thought it was the norm atleast here that good looking men approach normal/attractive looking ladies to flirt with or ask out on dates face to face in any everyday circumstance they get
It's probably cultural, I live in North Europe and I've never been approached by any moid for platonic, romantic or sexual purposes, other than old men groping me when I was 12 and 15.
Where I live it is fairly normal, and I feel like "ugly" women even have it slightly easier here in some areas compared to other countries (even my fat makeupless old mam gets asked out by rich old farmers in the supermarket)
However, that said, there is absolutely zero
culture of asking another woman out. The only times I've seen this happen have gone badly.
Before this thread, I used to think Europe was full of creepy moids that catcall girls regularly. Is that just Italy?
>To normal looking/attractive looking ladies here, is it the normal for men to ask you out on dates in public?
Is it normal? No. Does it happen? Yes.
Men are quite stand-offish in my hometown but it’s more common when I travel or I’m with other people (even other men lol) for some reason.I have a pretty good sense for it now so if I see it coming I’ll mumble some excuse and scurry away.
I can not stress how weird and not cute it is when it happens, but fortunately it rarely happens to me. You may not be a femcel OP, just extremely unapproachable (aka Stacy mode).
Same. I live in Finland, men here would sooner die than approach anyone, let alone a woman. If anything, it's pissed off women who get tired of waiting and approach guys themselves.
I never got catcalled in my country, mostly because I look ugly and 12 so I usually only get stared at by boys half my age which is uncomfortable, but I did get catcalled in Italy for the first time in my life by a VERY old man, so maybe it's just Italy indeed.
Europe isnt a whole single country and so you can not hold us to one standard like this. In my country, Ireland, catcalling is a scumbag move for desperate moids, and so its heavily frowned upon
Maybe i'm ugly, but no, it doesn't happen often.
It happened to me for the first time in YEARS a few weeks ago as I was sitting in a public bench alone for a long time.
So it doesn't mean that you're unnatractive, it's just that no guy will approach you if you're in a hurry, or if you're looking like you've been waiting for someone. Also people are really outspoken in my country, maybe people are more introverted where you live.
it's literally insane. i was at the beach picking up trash some years back and a guy walks up to me, starts talking to me normally about beach cleanup and within like 15 minutes of conversation it turns into him asking me/suggesting to me that to move into his condo. insane, extremely serial killer stuff.
men do talk to me out of the blue quite often. they get this sort of nervous, excited, happy disposition. then they try to talk to you and in particular to ask your name. they'll even go out of their way to make sure they bump into me. everything they do is super obvious because men are kind of dumb.
i've had this happen numerous times, notably a bank teller, a coffee shop boy, guy on the bus, guys in my apartment building, coworkers, and guys in uni. some of them were cute. in general it's kind of annoying. men can get pushy and even violent if you turn them down. never happened to me but i'm always wary of men.
Yeah, it is. It is annoying. Simply getting gas can be a gamble because people will talk to you. All men look ugly to me so idk when they're attractive or not. But they're usually my age, or younger kek.
I honest to god think I'm very attractive, but I've never been asked out on a date by men in public. I don't know if it's because I look really mean, but I've never been asked out or catcalled. Then again, people seem to think I'm a lesbian at first glance, so that might be the answer.
I rarely if ever get approached, but it's usually the unconventional but really cute guys. Either that or if they don't approach me they have a visible reaction/expression on their faces as if they want to but are embarrassed. I may be overthinking it but to my defense most normies don't care about me, and I'm not talking about the creepy men.
Also, just to add: I remember reading a reddit post on some dating-ish sub, that if a guy likes you he makes it clear - he approaches you. If he doesn't, he most likely doesn't feel anything special towards you.
But I feel like this is only applicable in situations like work, school, etc. Some might think that those are the only palces you'd be able to find a date anyway but I say it's bs, unless you don't have any life outside of working or studying.
And as some other poster said, you may not get approached simply because you look like you're in a hurry, or he's in a hurry, or that he thinks you're probably dating someone already, or is too shy to start talking to you.
If you look like you're just hanging out/you're not in a hurry, you're more likely to get approached. For example if you're clearly headed somewhere or you're in a crowded place it's less likely that someone will talk to you than if you were sitting on a bench looking at your phone not doing anything.
I got whistled at a couple times in Italy and Spain, but never aggressively pursued. I can't even say it was uncomfortable, it felt kinda surreal like a scene out of a 50s movie or something.
I’d say I look quite normal, and no it isn’t. What does happen a lot more is catching guys staring at me, or them being extremely polite. I think the closest thing I’ve had happen to flirting recently was a Panera employee snuck a cookie into my order after being super excited to talk to me about a week ago.
Another Finn here. You must know that in our culture people don't want to get caught for even looking at a stranger, let alone speak to one. The only exception to the rule is if both are drunk, which is so idiotic if you think about it.
Anyway, males here are overly cautious of approaching females because they fear that if they show interest, then that might be perceived as harassment. And at least our generation highly disapproves of men who have been accused of harassing women. Doesn't seem to apply to older generations, given that older men tend to be very rude and inappropriate towards younger women.
Is this actually true? It sounds like something some 2016 MRAs would make up and blame on feminists
third finn here, can confirm
Fourth Finn here. I've only had drunk men ask me out.
>>95100>they fear that if they show interest, then that might be perceived as harassment
I don't think that's the case at all. It's not just flirting, people are generally very reluctant to have any contact at all with strangers of any gender or age group. I feel it's getting worse over time, e.g. boomers used to go to bars to meet new people but nowadays people go with their friends and avoid interacting with anyone else. Exchange students tend to note that it's near impossible to make friends anywhere in Fennoscandia.
Also why the fuck are there so many Finns in here, we need a cc/int/
Random men never talk to me in public. Reading this thread makes me depressed because I thought I was attractive but I guess not.
Its cultural, anon. It's very normal in America but in my country you'd easily think a random moid talking to you in public was about to rob you
i'm sorry michiganon but this exchange was very funny.
I’m Canadian so I guess I’m ugly and fat
It does happen from time to time to me but it's usually very uncomfortable. Men will make you have a 30 minute long, very awkward conversation with them before they finally ask you to go out with them and you have the chance to politely turn the offer down.
I wish they would be upfront about their intentions. It would save all of us a lot of time. It would be rude to begin every conversation with 'Hi, I am anon and I already have a boyfriend'.
Would you not think it rude for them to start every conversation with "Hi, will you go out with me?"
they do this already though. they come up to you, compliment you, then ask you out.
I wish I experienced this atleast once before I die
is this pic some kind of Binland meme, pls explain :DDD
Not at all, I would prefer that because it would shorten the process a lot. For guys it has to be disappointing as well to try to have a nice conversation for 30 minutes only to get turned down at the end. >>95699
Don't be. Since it is just some random person approaching you chances are high that person is not going to be someone you will be attracted to. Any woman sitting outside by herself will be approached like that here sooner or later.
>>95426>Exchange students tend to note that it's near impossible to make friends anywhere in Fennoscandia
This is too close to home. I've lived here for 10 years and I genuinely have no friends at all. I used to have lots before I came here but we haven't kept in touch over time. The only Finnish person who did want to talk to me was my ex classmate who did it because he wanted to fuck. That's it, that's the only reason.
For years I just thought people didn't like me because I'm brown or they think I'm smelly or something. Sometimes I would go for drinks with people and they get shitfaced, call me their bestest friend ever!!!1 and the next morning they pretend they don't even know me, it messed with my brain. High school people were nice enough but if I wanted to talk or hang out with them after classes they always said they were busy with chores, or gym, or napping, or some other thing that's easy to postpone.
At this point I'm going to die alone, but I came here as a teen and have nowhere else to go. Immigrants are told they just need to learn Finnish to fit in but I speak it fluently and that's not it at all.
I'm a reasonably attractive burger and I'm rarely approached in public or even catcalled. I've only had men try to get my number/dates a couple of times. How intimidating you come across is a big factor too imo. If you're very tall you probably won't get approached much even if you're very attractive, but if you have really open body language or are blonde you'll get hit on a lot more. I also think that where in the US you are matters. Ime guys in very rural or very urban areas tend to be bolder.
Possibly outing myself for my incredibly cringe post but I actually talked to an irl friend about this and she said the same thing. I'm 5'9 and like to wear huge platform heels so I can see that happening.
i believe this. i definitely think if you seem more imposing for any reason you will be much less likely to be approached. if you seem more "bubbly", if you're shorter, etc, it would only make sense that people would think you'd be more receptive or maybe less disgusted by a person's offer so you'd probably end up approached more.
Absolutely. There’s a reason weirdos on the internet will always worship girls that are barely cute (and nothing wrong with that, I worship barely cute girls too) — because they are accessible. Beautiful women are rarely approached because they’re too…off-limits, too inaccessible. They’re intimidating.
yep. many models say they're rarely approached.
Sounds like bullshit. I can see if you're an exceptionally good-looking girl in a place where there are mostly average men, you won't be approached. But if you're surrounded by attractive, successful men(like models are), why wouldn't they approach you? It's not like they're insecure.
i think they say that's their experience before becoming famous and being introduced to all of these successful men. just their normal daily lives at bars or wherever, prior to fame.
i choose to close …
It's the prime minister opening a bottle of beer without a bottle opener. It's meant to be funny because it's trashy and silly and the prime minister is rarely seen doing such trashy and silly things.
if she opened a beer bottle with a broom, that's kind of impressive and not that trashy? just kind of cool. drinking beer in general is really the 'trashy' part if anything.
>tries to decipher if they are a femcel or not
why do you want the femcel label fucktard
I think its the opposite here - she wants to ensure that she is not
I’m trying to validate if I’m unattractive or not, I’m kinda chubby with a Jewish nose and all though i have lost a great amount of weight I still look ugly.
Yes, I need to know if I qualify as a femcel or not.
>>94629> is it the normal for men to ask you out on dates in public?
It's not normal and stupid degenerates do it anyways. Feel blessed that men aren't approaching you randomly in public. Men who do that are always shit.
A good man is someone who gets to know you through mutual interests first. Even then that is the absolute bare minimum, most of those men are still not that great.
It's in reference to a popular Finnish drama-show where an alcoholic dude opens a beer with a broom due to a lack of bottle opener.
>>94660>Is that just Italy?
No, it's most mediterranean countries and others like Argentina and Chile that have cultures derived from mediterranean countries, but in the latter cat calling is starting to be frowned uppon
I had only been asked out by a stranger once in my life…before I visited the US. In the 2 weeks I was there, 3 guys just started following me, talking about my ass, offering to take me on a date.
Men do this to me in public, I look above average and was stopped for modeling before either, but I’m schizoid and enjoy being alone. It bothers me. I have made friends in public, but nothing more ever. But nobody ever lasted beyond like a month because I just have limited interest in people.
In Germany it's not very common for women to get asked out completely randomely on the streets. When I visited the USA I witnessed this stark contrast. It even turned into harassment a few times there.
In Germany I have been asked out too, but never from random strangers on the streets. Like when I was ice-skating with my friends another group of boys approached us and we skated together. Or when we were at a cafe a couple of guys from another table started a conversation with us. Stuff like that.
I'm average looking and dress alternative most of the time. I've never been approached in stores or when I go out with family. However, males do approach me if I go out to a city alone, like a couple times in a day. I find it very creepy and I wish I were invisible to men. I live in the Netherlands.
Only when working retail. Other than that, I must goad moids into asking me out by bullying them.
Yes. It happens every fucking time I go to the supermarket, and it's annoying, actually. I'm around a high 7, but people make exaggerated claims that I'm a model. I second that >>101548
it usually happens when I'm alone. Men will follow me around stores. I can't stand it. I also live in a rather poor area in the rural south. I think I stand out because I'm the only one that puts effort into their appearance, I don't think anyone would talk to me in LA or some shit.