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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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retroactive jealousy Anonymous 100540

do you suffer from it? are you jealous of your s/o's exes? how do you deal with it?

for me, i do get upset thinking about his exes. not that i am jealous of them as people, but in the sense that at some point in the past he gave the amount of affection he shows me now to them before. honestly i might just being super bpd about it but i feel like talking about it with people who might relate in a way.

Anonymous 100541

This is why you should only date virgins

Anonymous 100561

>your bf has exes
Sorry but you're dating a manwhore

Anonymous 100568

That's what moids want you to think so they can get away with fucking 30 different stacys

Anonymous 100569

Definitely is, there's a reason why old virgin moids are the worst people out there.

Anonymous 100584


This fucking drove me crazy and ate me up inside and was a major point of conflict in my old relationship.
I am experiencing this now in my fairly new relationship, infact I came onto /feels/ to bitch about it. I shouldnt, he is a virgin and I am way more experienced in relationships and sex than him, and I am his first real gf. He treats me nice and is an absolute angel, he loves being babied and his inexperience is adorable. However, he told me about going on a date with a girl a year or 2 ago and I wanted to claw my eyes out, my heart sank. She ghosted him and it never went anywhere, but it still bothers me.
My jealousy is pathological. I try to contain it but I am afraid its gonna build up and result in blowups at him like it did with my ex. Idk how to address it without sounding deranged. I am pretty sure I have BPD too.
One problem I have which might have more validity (or just be plain paranoia, idk) is that today he was on his phone looking through his instagram likes to show me something and I caught a fleeting glimpse of a video with a female as the thumbnail. I think it was this woman on tiktok who dresses in scrubs like a "sexy nurse" and does erotic dances, I have seen her before. Now I am upset that he has been looking at other women. I try to tell myself that maybe it was one of those edits of the ewhores where someone edits in something funny, but idk. It hurts more because ik if he is watching other women I have reason to be upset and because it is happening while we are together.
Am I overthinking it? Fuck. This relationship isn't even a month old and I am already doing this.

Sorry for hijacking this thread lol.

Anonymous 100593

I have BPD too. I’m not a professional so I obviously can’t tell you for sure. I’m in my second relationship currently but it’s my first serious one. I guess I kind of got lucky because my boyfriend is really patient and understanding when I have outbursts. I think you shouldn’t keep what you saw bottled up inside, and you should talk to him about it. For me the emotions take over and I can’t really articulate anything or I start to not think rationally, so my advice would be to try not to approach the conversation emotionally and maybe even write down what you want to say to him beforehand. Communication is hard but it’s extremely important. If you do have BPD then I can tell you from experience that bottling shit up does not work, so please talk to him about it

Anonymous 100595


I totally suffer from that!!@ It's like, I can't help but feel super jealous of my s/o's exes. It's not that I'm jealous of them personally, but I hate the idea that my partner used to be all affectionate with them. It makes me feel like I'm just getting leftovers or something. I know it's probably my BPD acting up, but I need to talk about it with people who get it, you know? I just need someone who understands.

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