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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Controlling gay thoughts Anonymous 100632

I have a boyfriend who's great, but lately I've been feeling disgusted by him and I dread intimacy. I've been having a lot of gay thoughts related to kissing or dating women. I masturbate myself thinking of women. I daydream of a wife. What can I do? I don't want to break up with my bf.

Anonymous 100655

You know, nona, I don't think you necessarily have to breakup with your boyfriend. I can only get off to lesbian porn . Then again, I am bisexual. Maybe you are bisexual. Some options are that you're a lesbian or bisexual/interested in women. Has you boyfriend done anything recently to make you feel disgusted by him?

Anonymous 100657

you could propose to add a third party to the relationship that is a woman, but you have to take into account if you can handle it (are you the jealous type?), if he can handle the suggestion alone, and bring it up in a very thoughtful way to him.

Anonymous 100658

No, he's as nice to me as ever. I don't know why I feel this way. I think I recently met a lesbian couple and I felt intense jealousy.
He would never agree to it.

Anonymous 100659

then there aren't many other options. perhaps its just a period and it will pass eventually, sexuality can ebb and flow

Anonymous 100667

Birth control can cause hormonal problems and attraction to the same sex

Anonymous 100678

you sound like a moid

Anonymous 100680

Unfortunately what the ninth (or the moid) said is true. Contraceptives can be very toxic for us in the long run; this is really very sad because he contributes a lot to women's liberation and I very much doubt that big pharma would look for a safer and more efficient solution for us

Anonymous 100681

But birth control wasn't even mentioned, it was assumed. There's other and non hormonal forms of contraception.
Plus there's always a chance that op is a late-in-life lesbian and there's nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous 100682

Hmm, I don't know if contraceptives would have that much influence on female desire. But the OP said her boyfriend is great, maybe she's just having some fantasies about women, which I consider normal, maybe because women are usually more physically attractive than men (well, at least i think it's common for women to find others attractive even if they're straight)

Anonymous 100690


I also felt this while dating a man and now I have a cute girlfriend.
Uh. Follow your heart, or something.

Anonymous 100709

I'm not on birth control.
God I WISH. I'm scared I will die single.

Anonymous 100728

You're not alone Op, I feel you.
Except I still enjoy having sex with my bf. I have a lot of gay fantasies and I wish I can act on them.
I stay with him because I love him and want to be with him.

Anonymous 100729


you'll never escape your feelings. you're going to keep breaking the hearts of the men that fall in love with you if you keep trying to play out relationships with them.

I have been in countless relationships with men, good and bad, been proposed to, had what people saw as "ideal". Regardless of whatever man it was, I still felt the same way inside. Disgusted by his appearance and male features, regardless of how conventionally attractive he was, the things he prioritized as a man, the way we would never be equal, the way no man would ever understand the female experience. I never stopped daydreaming about women, fantasizing about my friends, secretly looking at wlw art and doujins.

I forced myself to be in countless relationships for my family and for the people around me, all to be seen as "normal", but I remained miserable. Your misery will grow unless you allow yourself to be free.

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