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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 100704

How to deal with the feeling that you are wasting your youth? I just turned 19 and i'm feeling guilty, most of my late teenage years were wasted in my room playing games because i am socially inept and severely depressed, i'm scared i will waste my 20's as well doing nothing because my life is uninteresting and it's near impossible for me to make friends, i feel so aware of the passing of the time everyday and it's driving me insane.

Anonymous 100705


maybe try to do solo things outside your room, like exploring nature or the city, if you're doing nothing else it can be refreshing and comfortingly lonely.

or maybe find some hobbies ig, although normalfags make it sound easier than it is.

Anonymous 100706

I have no will to go for a walk lately or explore, especially because where i live is full of assholes and i feel judged. And even if i took a walk i think i would still feel empty like im wasting my life taking walks, it's like i wish for something big to happen in my life and make it interesting.

Anonymous 100707


you gotta go outside and sort of find that big thing, or put yourself in position for that big thing to happen, its sort of why college is a good experience because you're forced out of your house to a place where no one knows you

Anonymous 100708

Join a club
Join a gym
Get a part time job
Download bumble BFF and meet people
Download one of those couch sharing apps and meet people back packing into your place
Go on Tinder dates
Go to a meetup from a site or community you are a part of online

Anonymous 100710

>Go on Tinder dates

bit of a miss nona, innit?

Anonymous 100711

I can't put myself in that position because i can't easily befriend others, i don't fit in anywhere, especially in real life and i don't even know what im searching for i guess im just empty inside. I don't think i can go to college because i'm a high school dropout.

>Go use dating apps, wage yourself to death or something
Ew gross.

Anonymous 100713


hmm, i would say, try to join the anime society discord of whatever uni is biggest in ur city, thats how I made most of my friends when I moved city, you dont need to be a student and they only care if you're of uni age

Anonymous 100715

I know the feeling because sometimes I feel the same. In my case start practicing a team sport and get a part-time job helped me A LOT. This is my recommendation to you.

Anonymous 100716

I’ve never known anyone who met husband material from bumble or tinder (maybe Hinge, but even then you have to be lucky). Most people on dating apps have HPV too

Anonymous 100719

>I just turned 19 and i'm feeling guilty, most of my late teenage years were wasted in my room playing games because i am socially inept and severely depressed
You're very young to be having this realisation, it didn't really hit me until I was 24 or 25.

>I can't put myself in that position because i can't easily befriend others, i don't fit in anywhere, especially in real life and i don't even know what im searching for i guess im just empty inside.
As uncomfortable as it makes you, you need to try. You have to try out some activity which opens up the possibility of things actually happening to you, otherwise nothing will happen to you. You'll continue sitting in your room doing nothing. Remember that "perfect" is the enemy of "good". Don't spend time waiting for the perfect opportunity which will suit you just right. That opportunity is never coming. Whatever you decide to do doesn't have to be your favourite thing, it just has to be halfway tolerable.

This >>100714 nona has the right idea.

Anonymous 100763

Very good advice, sports is the way that a lot of people come out of their shell and gain confidence in themselves. Plus you'll feel a lot better physically and mentally.

Anonymous 100808

I'm terrified of doing sports because i got bullied while doing it as a kid, it's kinda like a trigger sometimes.

Thanks for the replies nonas i read it all, it made me feel less lonely knowing some of you feel the same, i'll see what i can do.

Anonymous 100879

I'll be 26 soon.
I went through what you're going through in my early 20s. My first reaction was to regret all the time wasted, but then I saw the positives. I was grateful that games let me form relationships over common interests. They gave me some enjoyment with friends, and some games taught me things. The thing I'm most grateful for is that the time I "wasted" in my youth has made me that much more appreciative of the time I still have (truth is I don't see it as a waste because it's all lead me to become the person I am today, and for the most part I like the person I am). It's good to be mindful about how you spend your time; it's a sign of maturing.

The biggest mistake you can make (and we all make it from time to time) is to wish to go back to the past. Don't beat yourself up over what you did/didn't do; dumb early-teenager brain couldn't have known what it was doing, and my current dumb adult brain is still figuring it out. Adult brain isn't better, it just has different values. You may want to go back and change what you've done, but it's impossible. Many people will, upon failing time travel, try change the current youth - this is equally futile. Don't fret the future, don't wish for the past, just do your best to appreciate what you have now.

Anonymous 101435


I'm the same, I'm 20. I'm the type to go along with the flow and not have any discipline. I have zero backbone and procrastinate all day. I've seeked advice countless times, but it all falls on deaf ears for me because of my proclivity towards stagnation, which is how I ended up in this position in the first place. I'm like an NPC in that sense.

If you're female and not being hyperbolic, so you actually have no social contact and ended up in this situation (I see a lot of women claim online they're alone while they talk to people every day), it's over. You're likely non-NT and predisposed to neuroticism. Combined with a bad environment, that's fatal. I'm afraid there's no saving us unless some miracle happens. Either we end up in a torturous 9 to 5 job or become NEET (or suicide).

Also to the people telling OP to just get a job, it can make mental health worse when you're socially inept, at least it did in my case. There's so much cliquey bullshit and people hate it when you're not social. Bullying doesn't stop after high school. It made me even more depressed and hopeless that this life wasn't meant for me. It's worth trying, but don't put too much faith in it.

Hobbies can be a decent cope to pass the time, it does make me feel better than sitting behind my PC all day. This list is pretty cool: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies

You don't have a job or attend college? Are you NEET?

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