/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Break up.

>>100973
Nobody I've ever dated does this - dump him and get someone better.

>>100976
>>100986
I want to sometimes because it hurts really bad when his eyes keep going back to that cute waitress when I’m right in front of him on a date.

Do all men do this? How do you get them to stop?

>>100975
Kek this was funny nona thanks for sharing

He is a dumb fucking scrote, don’t let him get away with it.

>>101092
>Do all men do this?
see
>Nobody I've ever dated does this

>>101102
I know I’m only trying to get the conversation going and get anecdotes from other women, I know I’m not the only one alone. I’d like to hear others’ experiences and how they cope with it. Hell, even if you’re a lesbian and your girlfriend looks at other women, spill the beans. Though I doubt that because women aren’t as horny and evil as moids

>>101096
Ya, I am always harassing him once we are in a private space, not in a public setting, and it is 100% awkward conversation to have. He keeps doing it time and time again, it’s like an automatic response to gawk at pretty girls.

>>101092
>How do you get them to stop?
you don't. that's a retarded waste of time and you aren't a retard are you? just break up and find another guy or stay single

>>101115
It's good when you're secure enough in your relationship that you're able to accept the fact that your sight doesn't just disappear once you enter one. My boyfriend and I both comment and share people of both sexes we find attractive to each other (in a tactful way, obviously) and honestly, it's just fun to admire people with cool aesthetics and different types of beauty, while bonding in the process. The world is too colorful of a place to get hung up on jealousy, and we're both incel-lite so not like we're gonna cheat or anything. Lots of times they're girls that look kinda similar to me. Sometimes he even points out men that he thinks could be my type, and he's right like 80% of the time, so that's cool.

Though, I have to say there's a time and place for everything. Drooling after other women when out with your girlfriend in public is a sign of disrespect - it's not just about your personal relationship, it's about how you present yourselves to the world, how they will perceive you. Of course, some people are just not going to value this very much, but most socially-adjusted normal people in fact do. So if he does this against your wishes, he's either socially inept or doesn't give half a shit about you. Break up etc. etc. etc.

I stopped dating moids for this reason.
I have been the other woman and it made me realize that you will not get a man's undivided attention, no matter how interesting you are and how good the conversation is going.
I was also the girlfriend and I felt like an idiot when that happended, I felt so embarrassed to have a leering moid as a bf.
I also remember one day that I was talking with a guy I had a crush while waiting for the train and a girl with a miniskirt and cleavage walked by, he could have looked at her but he didn't, that felt good. Too bad he has a gf.

>>100973
Your unhappiness stems from insecurity. You fear that because he looks at other women, he doesn't find you attractive, or that he wants to cheat on you. So what - there's a good chance you're wrong, and even if it's true, it only upsets you because of your own insecurity (obviously cheating poses the risk of transmitting STDs, but it sounds like your unhappiness is more about a psychological phenomenon than one rooted in pragmatism).

I used to get jealous, but something clicked one day and I got over it. Now I can look at other men and women and admire them when they're beautiful, and my bf can do the same. In a way, by caring less about these insecurities, it's made me care more about our actual relationship, the thing that is real as opposed to hypothetical unrealities. I get to enjoy what I have instead of fretting about losing it.

You don't get to own other people. You can't control them. If it bothers you that much, then leave him. There's nothing wrong with leaving, there's nothing wrong with accepting, but don't expect him to change on your account.

>>101104
If you know other women don't have to experience it, wouldn't that imply that the best way to cope with it is to dump him and find one of the many men who won't do this? There are tons of virtues that are very difficult to find in men (e.g. most men are emotionally constipated, self-centred, have a shallow understanding of love and commitment etc. so I get why finding those would be hard, but finding a man who won't stare at other women or look at porn is pretty easy these days).

>>101092
Yes, they just won't admit it.
I don't think they're doing because they're attracted to everyone they look at.
If you saw a woman with nice breasts wouldn't you glance at them?
Everyone does it, and no you're not a lesbian if you do.

>>100973
No, because I’m autistic and wouldn’t notice it. Or I‘m just so hot my man doesn’t want to look at other women lol

ALLmen look at tits and ass, everyone here is either in denial, coping or oblivious. Wake UP and see the true nature of men!

>>101200
Not everyone wants to be a cuckqueen like you

>>101323
You want to control another human being to protect your ego. That's not love.

>>101311
They don't have to look at other women while on a date though

>>100973
>has this ever happened to you?
If only.

Every time I see a nice ass I glance at my boyfriend and see him spin around in this really theatrical display of "oh I wasn't looking that way at all". I'm not insecure or jealous, just angry that he's publicly humiliating me by eyefucking other people left and right.

And nearly every time I notice a scrote staring or smiling at me there's a woman by his side. I don't know what I'm meant to do about any of that, I've just accepted that men can't be expected to practice the basic manners I learned when I was 7 years old.

>>101202
>I get why finding those would be hard, but finding a man who won't stare at other women or look at porn is pretty easy
I prioritize men who won't beat/cheat/manipulate me and "doesn't exchange flirty glances" is pretty low on that list. Like impossibly low. I will never ever be desirable enough to pick partners with that level of precision. The only power I have over this type of shit is whether I want a partner at all. If I do want a (male) partner then it's the eyefucking and gooning and skid marks and whatever the average moid comes equipped with.

>>101444
>If I do want a (male) partner then it's the eyefucking and gooning and skid marks and whatever the average moid comes equipped with.

pathetic.

>>101444
Thank you! This is the response I’ve been looking for. I want to hear other people’s shared experiences, not “dump him” because I know for a fact most men CANT control themselves

> I'm not insecure or jealous, just angry that he's publicly humiliating me by eyefucking other people left and right.

Omg one time I was out for dinner with him and his parents and this young waitress wearing a tank top and short shorts came by and he was eye fucking her tits while serving us. It’s fucked up. That’s what hurts the most because we’re supposed to be this young couple in love and then he does THAT in front of his parents. Shows them that he has a wandering eye and I’m not his number one :(

His mom caught him staring. She stared at his gaze then followed it right to the girls boobs. It was so humiliating. I can’t understand why men don’t know the idea of “it’s rude to stare”

>>101517
exactly. if you ruminate or fixate on someone of the opposite gender for longer than a second beyond your immediate unconscious recognition, that's fucking cheating lmao

>>101444
>I want a partner at all. If I do want a (male) partner then it's the eyefucking and gooning and skid marks and whatever the average moid comes equipped with.

Why do you prefer a partner who does this over just being alone?

>>101517
>Thank you! This is the response I’ve been looking for. I want to hear other people’s shared experiences, not “dump him” because I know for a fact most men CANT control themselves


I don't see why this is relevant. Sure most men can't control themselves - some naturally look at other women, and some don't. That's the whole premise behind dumping him - you can't date the latter if you're stuck wasting time on the former.

>>101544
eyefucking is literally one of the most natural things in the world. FIXATION is cheating, i don't care. people have flirty personalities, it's the difference between blurting "i want to murder you" because someone made you angry and thinking about murder for longer than a day period, that's PREMEDITATION and therefore cheating

>>101545
there are people who dont look at people they aren't together with sexually. i've met two men like that and lots of women.
if a boyfriend doing that isn't a dealbreaker for you that is fine, it isn't for many others too since most are dating people who do that.
however i encourage you to not justify behaviors that you might dislike and that maybe hurt you on the basis of how common they are.
it's true that it's common, but that doesn't make it right, or at least it doesn't have to make it right for you.

>>101547
eyefucking is literally just acknowledging someone as attractive. i don't mean eyefucking as in, seeing an attractive person and thinking about having sex with them. if you ruminate on someone you find attractive for more than a second ESPECIALLY if that person is within your accessible vicinity, THATS CHEATING lmao. there's no way you can stop yourself from noticing a person's attractiveness but it's FUCKED UP to think about someone who's not your partner for longer than necessary. i don't care if a potential partner worships e-girls who he doesn't personally know or has an e-celeb crush or watches a particular pornstar, its demonstrating the intent of cheating by realizing the aforementioned - that person is ACCESSIBLE and you are fixating on that person

>>101545
I don't eyefuck people and nobody I've dated has either - maybe just don't date coomers or be one? This sounds like cope - is this how cheaters rationalize away the ugly reality of their terrible characters?

>>101544
>>101551
The problem is that the some men who don't stare/eyefuck others are <30% of the male population and even then it's impossible to know at first since their interest and manners only begin slipping once they feel they've trapped you.

You dump a mere starer and sharter and your next moid may be an outright cheater. Maybe the one after that will kick your cat when you're not at home. Letting go of a mediocre moid who mistreats you a little every now and then is stressful because most of them are awful and there's no way of knowing if your current one is the least awful in your league.

>>101591
why even date a mediocre moid? i know there's worse but why settling for someone mediocre. i'd rather be alone nona