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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 102895

Girls, I feel like the worst kind of woman. Let me tell you. I had a long distance boyfriend who came to study with me. But since we only knew each other through the internet, it turned out to be shitty almost everything. First of all, he didn't have enough money to survive in my city, he also turned out to be a jealous and aggressive guy, extremely depressive, and he didn't do his own laundry. I was getting more depressed every day and wanted to drop out of college, I was also very unhappy in this relationship and often fantasized about other guys until I had the courage to break up with him. Why do I feel guilty? He is already 25 and hasn't even been able to finish a year of college, and I think he will also drop out of my college. How can I avoid feeling guilty in this situation?

Anonymous 102898

It was his decision to relocate because of an unclear long-distance relationship, his shortsighted decision to do this despite the potential for financial difficulty, and it's his characteristic flaws which ended up making the relationship unhealthy and unworkable, and it's his underperformance in college which is stonewalling him. He was the decisionmaker - not you. Even the sorts of relationships which seem to have higher prospects, and which host more available information and understanding between the two people involved, often don't justify the risks of moving like that - and he took those risks. He put himself in a position where, if things defaulted, it was he who took the heat. Although it reads like you played along with what happened, he was the ultimate conductor. If you feel any guilt, you're in an unhealthy mindset where compromising your life for a loveless relationship is somehow morally sound. But that'd just perpetuate the damage, perhaps even for the both of you.

Anonymous 102927


It's not your fault nona, you didn't sign up to be his carer your signed up to be his girlfriend. This is probably the best outcome in a shitty situation and I'm sorry you had to go through this.

If it makes you feel any better I think if you had stayed with him I doubt he would've gotten any better, seems like he was expecting to be coddled by you and I'm proud of you for not falling for his pity party. Hopefully this should be a wake up call for him to get his shit together. Take some time to heal it's normal to feel this way, I hope you feel better soon and remember that you tried your best <3

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