/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I don't have a similiar background so take with a grain of salt but you can always make new friends, find new interests, goals or even passions in life. Hell even exploring different things just for fun until you find something you genuinely enjoy could be an aim by itself. Sorry if I misunderstood what you meant exactly.

>>103219
I suppose its just that life feels so simple after being disillusioned with my old religion. We were taught that every little action had such significance in the grand scheme of things, that every word I said and every piece of clothing I wore were things I would answer for at the end of my life. I was cut off from people outside our cult, and not allowed to consume any media pretty much at all (for better or for worse).

I am doing my best to make new friends, and I've been playing some videogames, and doing art a lot lately which has been a lot of fun. And I've discovered so much fun music that I never got to listen to until now. But at the end of the day it all feels so… anticlimactic, I guess. Maybe enjoying the little moments is a new skill that I'll have to learn - it just feels so jarring.

when you say "grew up in a cult" do you mean you just went to a very militant church or were you living in an isolated community?
Sorry for turning this into an AMA but I actually met somebody who was the latter and they have a pretty good life on the outside.

>>103223
I guess kinda both? It is known to people outside as just a crazy church but I qualify it as a cult because we weren't allowed to be friends with people outside the church. None of us went to a school, we couldn't leave the house on Sundays, we had restrictions on what we could wear, etc. We were always made to proselytize and picket signs in similar ways to the westboro baptist church does I think. But no cult leader or anything like that, just a group of men in charge of our church

>>103216
I grew up in a very similar "culture" and honestly it sounds like you're doing 100x better than I ever did, considering my first move was to latch onto the first decent man I met and try to get married/pregnant.

The first thing you need to know is you're going to come off as awkward and weird for a long time, even as you really work on your social skills. This REALLY limits your social circles, but it makes your options pretty straightforward. I immediately found kindred spirits when I briefly got into manga and comics because they were so new, but I found good friends after evolving into nerd shit like board games and tabletop RPGs. Everyone around me was at least a little awkward and weird, and seeing how utterly innocent and naive I was, a group of people adopted me out of pity and became very close friends.

As for aimlessness, I felt this for a long time until I found a hobbycraft board, when a nice lady in her 70's at the library explained how the internet worked. I'd worked a small farm all my life, so I had a lot of little bits of crafts skills. Eventually that hobby led me to making terrain for minis gamers, which forced me to learn to paint, which in turn improved my overall skills, which got me a job restoring antiques, then getting a job that paid me to get my arts degree, finally started my career. In my experience, it all snowballs from something you find yourself pre-programmed to enjoy, so don't stress it.

>>103251
Actually I almost did do exactly what you did - we never got married though. I found out they were cheating on me last year and I broke it off before it got more serious, thank god lol. I honestly think that is partially why I’m really starting to think about this stuff now - it’s really forced me out of my comfort zone into something new.

I’m definitely still really awkward, though I wonder if part of that is autism - I was never good at being social. I have started hanging out with ttrpg groups as well and they’ve been really sweet in my experience too!! I definitely haven’t found a career or anything, but I have been working with dogs for a while and I love it but there aren’t a lot of opportunities there to make good money. If I’m happy with my job though I think that’s ok enough in my book.

Thanks for your perspective nona, its nice to know that others have gone through a similar journey

>>103261
>Actually I almost did do exactly what you did
It's nice to know I'm not the only one who couldn't slip the programming immediately.

>I found out they were cheating on me last year and I broke it off
Wow, that's a really, really awful way to end your first relationship. I was lucky in that he asked me if I actually wanted a husband or if I was just scared of being alone and offered me an easy way out.

I'm really, genuinely happy to hear you're putting together your own life. It took me a long time before I was able to stop leaning so heavily on others and actually embrace being independent. I wish you all the best.