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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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When you are in love but you are also ugly Anonymous 103711

I started seeing a guy i’ve been friends with for a while. We see each other during the day and some nights but he wants to see me more often. He suggested we video chat through facetime. For context, I am very insecure about my face and the way I look. Especially without makeup.

I agreed but always decline his facetime calls and say I just want to text instead. Should I tell him I just don’t want to facetime? I don’t really know how to get over this insecurity.

I just don’t like my face inverted, which is what he sees and clearly doesn’t mind if he is dating me but it still makes me insecure.

Anonymous 103714

You already meet this guy in person if I understand correctly so he knows what you looks like in real life.

Keep in mind that this is a person who likes you and wants to see more of you and if I were in his shoes I'd be wondering what the reluctance to facetime means in regards to your interest in him. I understand not wanting to see a reflection of yourself that you're unhappy with but sometimes we need to get out or our own head.

Try some DYI exposure therapy: Open up your camera app and just look at your own face every now and then, ignore whatever thoughts pop up about your attractiveness and just be rational about it in a "this is what I look like"-way. Don't let your ego get in the way, he clearly doesn't see any faults in your appearance so why should you?

Anonymous 103715

>>103711
As a fellow ugly duckling, you just need to get used to the fact that his attraction to you is based on emotion, not appearance. Infatuation rewires the brain and suddenly you're able to overlook all the issues with the object of desire, and the same goes for familiarity. You've been friends for a while, so he's probably seen you at your most hideous, and he's used to it now. Slap a crush on top of that and it's like his perception of your flaws is diverted toward your more attractive assets, which are now enhanced in his mind.

Anonymous 103727

>>103711
You can tell him about that, Nona, I'm sure he would understand and maybe would help you deal with that too. Telling people you love about stuff that is bothering you is important. But generally you probably need to try and practice self love in whatever way works for you, . I know it sounds cheesy but you deserve it

Anonymous 105083

cleopatra_vii_phil…

>>103711
The largest part of unattractiveness is the crippling anxiety that radiates from a person. If you think you are a freak, people are inclined to believe you.

Anonymous 105248

>>103711
I often feel this way but you can adjust settings so you don't see your own face inverted - it helps a lot



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