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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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a warning Anonymous 104105

ive been stuck on how to deal with this information for months. i am very scared of retaliation because they datamined information off of me from my accounts.

a couple of months ago i added a guy from /soc/ who appeared to me as a very shy, but intelligent person. he listed off many hobbies, achievements, and interests that seemed to denote someone who was thoughtful and unique.

i was in a very low point in my life due to circumstances that happened with another person in my life. so i had been befriending people off of /soc/ for a bit and that's when we started talking.

i quickly found out that we shared a board on 4chan together and that had peaked my interest. i remember one day, i can't exactly remember the post, but i got a response to one of the posts i had made. it referenced my ethnicity as a southern european in a way that made it seem like he recognized who i was, and slowly i realized that he had become familiar with recognizing my posting style on the board.

things took a turn from here.
at the beginning, posts centered around our different opinions on topics like race, gender, religion, and society. i enjoyed going on the board because i thought i had shared a place that i could come to to ramble about my interests and have someone i knew listen, and other anons could chip in if they wanted to.
i dont remember when exactly things started to change. i already had a strange feeling about him because he had a fixation with polygamy and harems, something that was offputting to me but i chalked it down to a difference of opinions. we spoke about controversial things so i had tolerated it for the most part, and i couldnt necessarily avoid him if i wanted to keep using the board.

over time we became more sexually intimate and i remember distinctly, that one day i sent him nude photos. when i went to the board later, i read a post describing my body as being masculine and the op disliked that his girlfriend (me) wasnt causing sexual arousal. i confronted him and he quickly dismissed it by saying he didn't mean it.

it feels… like everything just got worse that day. i started reading posts about my ethnicity that were hostile whenever i was on the board, and really specific things about my appearance he disliked about me. i quickly became erratic whenever i was on the board and hypersensitive to the types of posts i would see.

the breaking point was when i started reading things that i knew i never disclosed to him. very personal things and private matters with people in my life i had written about in a google doc started showing up in posts he made. at this point in time, he was aware of my first name and the school i attended, and unfortunately, my email was simply my first and last name.

i put two and two together and realized that my login credentials somehow were breached. financial information, my addresses, messages between family members, other social media i used, private personal info, browsing history - all this information was available to someone who i never shared account logins with. it correlated with the type of info he would include in his posts. all they needed was my name. perhaps it could have been a phishing link but im unsure. when i searched my email for leaked data breaches, it showed up as being one of the emails leaked. i strongly suspect this could have been how it was available to him.

i wanted to write this down because i still cant quite make sense of why he did the things he did. there's not that much evidence as to his behavior which is why its so insidious. i strongly suspect he uses imageboards and /soc/ to find people to do this type of thing to, and i think he did it to others as well. i am extremely paranoid of people these days.

please make sure to turn on two factor authentication for any private accounts you have, this includes your icloud. make sure your email isnt included in any data breaches. you can turn on notifications if they do appear, like the site haveibeenpwned. if someone has your email account, particularly your google account, extremely personal data as the aforementioned is immediately available to them if your login credentials become involved in a data breach. in my case i used a consistent password and this led to them being able to access multiple accounts of mine.

make sure to use a quality antivirus and turn on your firewall. and lastly, be wary of what you share with others on the internet. lots of personal data couldve been secure if i had been more wary of the type of people i was talking to.

whats insidious is this person was very kind to me for the first few months. i didnt chalk them as the type of person to do that sort of thing until it was too late. they were intelligent, intelligent enough to know my vulnerabilities and hack into my accounts. not every online person who seems harmless, even for the first few months, is someone you can trust. there are people who derive pleasure from doing this type of thing to others. if you are on imageboards, the likelihood is that you are already pretty lonely and perhaps will be more susceptible to the type of emotional manipulation these people use.

be cautious. dont trust people just because they know how to make you feel "good." trust people who demonstrate moral character. navigate online communities, particularly ones with mentally ill/unwell members, with caution and awareness. dont be an idiot like me.

sorry if this is not worded well. this has really worn me mentally and emotionally. i havent eaten much in days and i think its affected my cognition a lot. i feel pretty drained but i wanted to write this down somewhere because i feel incredibly alone with everything ive been through.

theres not enough documentation, and frankly i dont want this being a major part of my life, so i have to stomach a lot of this in private. i wanted to post this somewhere as a warning. perhaps ill come back to this post later but i likely wont. i just needed to say this somewhere to get it off my chest and feel like i warned others.

again sorry if this is written badly. i may rewrite for more details if i am in a heathier stage in my life and feel like this post isnt adequate. if anyone else has been through similar things, please know youre not alone. thats all i wanted to say, thanks for reading.

Anonymous 104107

Thank you for sharing, this was a guttural read. Please make mental division between the online and your real life. No one on that board, or that guy personally, can harm you in real life. You are physically safe. Without engagement on your part the internet quickly forgets doxxes like this. Take care of yourself anon.

I want to share something vaguely similar - but much milder - that had happened to me. When I was younger I used to be liberal with what links I click on and whatnot. Usually it wouldn't be anything bad, but once it lead me to a porn site. Shortly after, I was contacted through email that had one of my passwords as the subject. The guy who sent it asked me to send him money or he would post the porn videos on my social media accounts alongside pictures of me. It was terrifying for 14 year old me to read, I was so scared but didn't know what to do (I didn't even have any means of sending him the money), so I just ignored it. Fortunately nothing came of it, but the dread I had experienced at the time was overwhelming. I felt my stomach sink into itself whenever I thought of it.

This is a supplement warning - BE VERY CAREFUL with what sites you use, what links you click, where you post personal information, how you interact, with whom you interact, ESPECIALLY if you are a woman. Women suffer tenfold for carelessness, remember that.

Anonymous 104109

I don't have a lot of helpful things to say but I'm hoping for your recovery anon, try to take care of yourself as you come out of this.
I will repost this: https://stopncii.org/ it is a group that tries to help people whose private images are at risk of being shared

Anonymous 104117

It has been well known on 4chan that /fit/, /soc/ and other boards, are places that are phished for PI, that is then scraped.
Lurk more is a concept not only as a joke, but as a warning, to figure this shit out before you get stucked in.
There are evil people that choose to remain anonymous… weird right?

It's unlikely it was one guy, there's whole discords of neets that sit around and dox people.
This includes all genders. They will do as much damage as they can for kicks.
There used to be an entire forum dedicated for this.

Do not post personal information on anonymous image boards.
It's in the rules!
If you can't figure that out browse websites with safety nets, reddit for example.

Good opsec is always good, but the damage is done because you didn't read the rules.

Anonymous 104118

I'm really sorry this has happened to you, people on 4chan very commonly take advantage of women in vunerable times of their life.
I hope that you are saying safe right now and to know that you aren't alone in this. sending love

Anonymous 104122

Oh so this is why you (all?) have been spamming this board recently

Anonymous 104127

theres women on here that will read posts like OP's and still think it's a good idea to go on /soc/ or 4chan in general to find (usually male) friends and/or boyfriends. I really don't understand it and I had assumed that the women on CC left 4chan because they got fed up with seeing turbo misogyny on there and understood how fucking awful 4chan moids are but I guess not.

I feel bad that this happened to OP but it's like you said
>how did you come to the conclusion that it was a good idea to become intimate and send nudes to a 4chan moid who openly gushes about polygamy and harems?

Anonymous 104129


That image reminded me of Panfu

Anonymous 104132


I'm so sorry, nona. You are brave to share your story and I hope it helps someone who reads it. Men are disgusting idiots. I hope you heal from this.

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