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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Grieving Anonymous 104832

One of my close friends was missing over the past week and his body was found in a drug dealer's apartment. Apparently he overdosed on codeine and the dealer ran away
He was only 27 and had so much life ahead of him. I'm struggling to deal with this tragedy. Can some of you share how you dealt with yours

Anonymous 104833

Accepting that every one makes their own choices and death is a natural process regardless of how it comes about.

My previous roommate started using cocaine again, to the point where she lost her jobs, was staying up all night on binges, eventually she had to go to inpatient for a month.

She gets out, made friends there, starts inviting all these friends (who are all either drug abusers or dealers) over. They all start using together again very shortly after getting out and hanging out.

Eventually she latches onto one of the guys, who has a kid that he cant see because he doesnt have a car due to the drug abuse, he starts living with us. I eventually leave because things become too unsafe, the dude starts offering her opiates and various pills and they both go off the rails.

Last I heard from her, and the public record in my county, and that he was found dead on the side of the road. He was partying with some friends, they were driving out in the country, the dude ODs in the passenger seat and they just threw him out of the car. Fucked up.

I became friends with this girl in high school. We had been friends for nearly a decade. In highschool, her best friend was this girl that was in our friend group. They both smoked together quite often and had a particular bond. One day after a rough week at home, she had no access to the internet or her cell phone to contact friends (parents took it), she met up with one of the girls from our school to hang out and do drugs in some abandoned house.

Our friend overdosed, and the girl left her because she was "scared and didn't know what to do". Her parents found her dead in the abandoned house the next day after she was missing.

I was 16, there was nothing any of us could have done. Even as an adult, there was nothing I could do to help my roommate friend who was abusing cocaine. Every one is on their own path, and you can only play the role they allow you to have in their lives.

It is depressing hearing what happened to your friend, but there is nothing you could have done. It is difficult to accept. I hope you can find peace.

Anonymous 104840

>dead moid
You should be celebrating.

Anonymous 104854

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Anonymous 104891

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I had a very weird reaction to a death recently. I dunno if I'd call it "grieving," because she wasn't a personal friend of mine, she was my younger Sister's closest friend, I just sorta saw her around the house a lot when I was a kid. But I did have an intense reaction to her death. She died of cancer at age 29. My sister spent a lot of time by her bedside when she was dying and told me about all the pain she was in–I don't want to get too gruesome but basically it was very severe pain lasting several weeks.
Anyway while this woman was dying I was constantly thinking about death. I was really intensely scared of it, especially the idea of going in a very painful way like Cancer. After this woman actually died the fear of death thing passed but then a bunch of other weird emotional symptoms began to emerge. I started getting really concerned that I was wasting my life and that I didn't have as much time left as I thought, that I could myself someday die young having never married, had children, or achieved any noteworthy professional success. I really haven't prioritized relationships with men at all most of my life, I had some brief relationships in high school and one in college, all of which I broke off for reasons that amount to "I'm just not really feeling it." I kept thinking back to these relationships and how they didn't really have any big problems, how I could have stuck around and married and eventually had kids with either one of them, but I did not because I subconsciously thought I had infinite time remaining to figure this stuff out. If you'd asked me in my twenties if I cared about starting a family I'd have said no, but now I think I didn't well enough at the time. I think more precisely I thought that I was going to live for an eternity and therefore did not need to work on relationships in the moment, I could just work on it like 100 years from now or something. Now I'm 32 and have developed very strong reclusive/shutin tendencies that I've rigorously trained myself into over the course of an entire decade. I simply don't have the social habits of the kind of person who ends up married with children.
I had similar anxious/regretful thoughts about my career but I won't elaborate on those because work is the more successful part of my life and my regrets about it are generally more minor.
One very weird thing about all this is that I had actual close friends die in the past and their deaths didn't mess with my head as badly as this one did. I think part of it is that this woman had everything going for her, she was extremely pretty, was earning $200,000 a year, had children, the whole nine yards. I guess it gave me a feeling of "if it can happen to her it can happen to anyone," only if it happened to me I would not die having all of life's milestones achieved, like she did.

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