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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405

can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.

i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!

Anonymous 105407

>hottest guy I’ve ever dated (but doesn’t know how hot he is)
>shared media interests
>hobbies outside of media consumption, and has picked up more girly hobbies with me
>just the right amount of edgy for me
>cares about how he dresses
>good personal hygiene
>a bit of a bad boy so seeing him behave like a softie around me is hawt
>knows he’s dumber than me so he doesn’t bother mansplaining or debating with me
>good sex

>materialistic with designer brands
>emotionally stunted. I need to go talking-to-toddler mode to get any kind of communication from him without him shutting down/arguing with me)
>sad about abstract, stupid stuff often. I don’t mind comforting him but it gets repetitive
>dumb as bricks
>doesn’t watch porn anymore but is still porn-damaged
>awful at cleaning (he does try, but is so inefficient and doesn’t have any organisation)
>drug addict

He’s still mine though

Anonymous 105408

>deeply loving and overflowing with affection
>can set himself to learning about anything I enjoy so we can talk about it
>very intelligent and deeply practical
>calm, controlled and reasonable
>filled with random knowledge and useful skills I can fall back on if I'm in trouble
>good with money and focused on making good choices for the future
>tough and stoic with others; inspires confidence and deters bullies
>is a great cook
>treats me with respect and like an actual life-partner
>the most dependable human being on Earth
>enjoys doing household chores with me
>hobbies are all low-investment (except for all the tools and equipment he accumulates)
>watched porn, but is realistic about sex
>doesn't objectify or belittle women
>literally the perfect dad for our future kids

>emotionally stunted in the extreme (processes sadness as anger at himself)
>forgets my needs often (things like physical contact) and requires reminding
>hyperfocused on one thing at a time and needs to complete it or he'll be distracted and irritable
>zero impulsivity and needs to plan things out 4+ hours ahead
>can't read conversational subtext or nuanced body language
>needs to be mentally engaged constantly and finds it in audiobooks/podcasts; locks me out for hours at a time
>is a generous lover, but has body image issues that stop me from doing things to him that I enjoy
>absolutely no sense of style
>cannot fathom enjoyment from aesthetics
>introverted and needs to expend huge amounts of emotional energy to engage with my friends and work

Anonymous 105424

How’d you meet him he sounds mature and a grown ass adult man. I’m sick of dating men mentally stuck at 16 years old and can’t cook or clean or plan anything in advance

Anonymous 105428

lol, at a game shop. I just wanted to buy a board game, but he was playing at a huge strategy table (where two groups of players simulate a historical war) and happily explained how he was about to crush the Soviet advance towards the Finnish capital.

Anonymous 105431

- not active on social media
- quite tall
- fairly attractive
- doesn’t have female friends
- smart/educated
- has his priorities straight
- too quiet/mysterious
- keeps his opinions to himself
- no social media but always seen using a device
- definitely active on secret internet forums/discord chats

Anonymous 105432

- doesn’t gawk at other women, might not watch porn but doubt it (never discussed this topic)
- isn’t condescending when it comes to me/others not knowing things
- secretly a judgmental fuck but is nice about it (but you can feel him judging you)

Anonymous 105443

>No political opinions like at all. It's like the part of your brain that cares about stuff you can't change never flipped on.
>No drug or drimk. Never even considers it.
>Loves animals. When we travel together, the local zoo is pretty much always a necessary destination.
>Super sweet. Never has a bad thing to say about anyone.
>Never angry at all.
>I was his only ever girlfriend, which still astounds me when I thin about it.
>Not materialistic at all.
>Hard working. Gets stuff done very quickly, while still being really chill.
>Is the cook between the two of us most of the time.
>Handsome and fit.
>Big, perfectly aqua colored eyes

>He has the tastes of a child when it comes to media and is pretty closed minded to things grown-ups are supposed to like. He pretty much only likes Nintendo when it comes to games, cartoons when it comes to tv/movies, and stuff like The Beach Boys and Donovan when it comes to music.
>He gets anxious very easily.
>Really doesn't like me having a firearm.
>His parents (while very nice) are 2 of the most retarded people I have ever met and some of their braindead decision making rubs off on him at times.
>Definitely needs help with things the vast majority of adults do not. Well outside the threshold of me needing to be "mommy" though.
>Has a child's vocabulary. This was gonna be in "pros" because it's refreshing being with someone who never swears, but having to stop to explain what "insipid" means mid sentence is kind of frustrating.
Couldn't believe no other girls took him while we were in high school, couldn't believe he was still single by the time we were both adults. Fine by me, I'll take him.

Anonymous 105690

>listens to me and does what I say

>listens to me and does what I say

he's 100% a whipped simp and I can make him do whatever. don't know if it's a good thing or not.

Anonymous 105691

-loves me unconditionally and views me like some kind of goddess, willing to adjust his goals to meet mine. He is so faithful
-forgiving and sweet, puts up with me and forgives even when I am terrible
-Can tell him anything, only person I am really myself aroumd

-sperg with anger issues and regularly destroys expensive shit (cellphones, monitors, punches holes in walls), cant handle stress
-poor employment history, he cant hold a job for long, goes months at a time unemployed (hes been working on his EMT license though)
-800 miles away and cant visit all the time
-lives with mom

Anonymous 105696

Pros: He's really caring towards me, cooks and bakes tasty things, shared interests, pretty, loves cuddling, passionately reciprocates during sex.

Cons: He wants kids and I don't, so we agree that we'll break up eventually. I'm worried I'm wasting my time staying with him instead of finding a different, longterm partner. Also, he said he doesn't love me, just like me. But I feel the same, so I don't know if it's worth breaking up over. I'm afraid I won't find a new guy with his pros that doesn't come with another set of cons.

Anonymous 105731

>pros: not active on social media
>cons: no social media

Anonymous 105735

>can't handle stress
>wants to be an EMT

Anonymous 105760

The problem isn't that he has no social media, but that he's always using devices despite not having a legitimate reason to do so. He's probably doing something more dubious.

Anonymous 105762

>has many positive traits, he's loving, caring, sweet, intelligent, pragmatic etc
>genuinely has a heart of gold, helped me & my family countless times - well off
>not your average moid, i.e. not a brainless coomer
>good cook, vegetarian
>mentally stable, unlike me. has the patience of a saint when it comes to dealing with my mental issues
>pampers me

>half the time we fuck his dick goes limp - lot to do with self esteem issues and overthinking
>not ugly, but not conventionally attractive either. short, going bald, etc
>has social anxiety
>not assertive at all

yeah I love my moid despite it all. the pros outweigh the cons for me. well, most of the time.

Anonymous 105763

>not a brainless coomer
>half the time we fuck his dick goes limp - lot to do with self esteem issues and overthinking
I've got bad news for you, nona.

Anonymous 105764

And the news is not that he's gay but that he's testosterone deficient.

Anonymous 105765

My version of news was that he coomed his brains into performance anxiety, but I guess that works too.

Anonymous 105770

you sound like a scrote, tbh. but to answer your question, no, I already talked about this with him. He's just got performance anxiety or whatever it's called.

Anonymous 105772

A lot of moids only interact with women through the prism of playing the long game and potentially fucking them at some point.

Anonymous 105774

Of course, just like every view, this approach can be taken too far, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with a presumption of guilt in this case, since you're the one who might have to deal with a sociopathic freak like that.

On the other hand, now that I think about it, the examples of such moids in my life all have so many telltale signs, despite putting on a facade of niceness, that maybe being too suspicious is also not a good thing.

Anonymous 105775

What are those signs?

Anonymous 105781

Out of the top of my head?

Never being in a long-term relationship is the best sign. No matter how nice they are, the moment a woman makes it clear that she wants a proper relationship, this type of scrote will shut down and then proceed to ghost and/or gaslight her into quitting him. After all is said and done he might even try to paint himself as the victim, accuse the girl of being too clingy, etc.

Open about porn consumption. Not disgusted by open relationships. Very explicit about preferring "high value" women (bimbos and or e-hoes). "I wish I had an Onlyfans girlfriend."

Openly bragging about sex to other scrotes.

Acting very open and friendly towards all women who aren't commited/conventionally attractive, complete 180 otherwise.

Getting caught cheating, ever. Duuh.

Anonymous 105815

>Intelligent, legit genius
>Tall, good physique, dresses well
>Very good looking
>Likes children
>Great at cooking
>Hard working, good with finances
>Extremely social
>Good in bed, lots of stamina, accepts trying my kinks
>Very Able to put himself in other people's places, especially me
>90% great sense of humor
>Same interests, either in media, sports, general activities
>Good driver
>Almost no porn influence
>Very hygienic
>Good mannered
>Reads people like a book

>Perfectionist, won't stop until he reached his percieved perfection on the matter/activity
>Becomes unhinged when he is really inserted into something he likes, snaps out only when its done
>Schemer, like he's some kind of politician or nobleman
>"Hannibal Lecter mindset", not afraid to gaslight, manipulate and scheme for his own good
>Medium-low sex drive, I always have to start up intimacy
>Plans X event ahead, if what he planned doesn't happen he gets anxious, nervous, and tries to "auto-correct" his plan
>Sometimes snobs about his tastes on something
>Eats his nails

>Addicted to ASMR, like turkish barbers, rainy forests and questionnaires
>Tends to avoid conflict at all costs

Anonymous 105816

>legit genius
How so?

Anonymous 105818

He is academically very gifted, but also gifted in non-academic related things. Who ruled Egypt during the Persian invasion? He knows it, how many soldiers took action in some unknown battle in bumfuck nowhere Europe? He knows it, complex mathematics, physics, chemistry, the sympthoms of many diseases, car mechanics, which art trend this paniting belongs to, how to brew moonshine, explosives,computer stuff etc. He's a walking enciclopedia, I joke that he's always tired from having to carry his brain all day

Anonymous 105820

>he's memorized a lot of facts
Sounds more like an autist than a genius

Anonymous 105821

Well, depends on what your perception of intelligence and knowlage is, as far as I know he never showed any signs of 'tism

Anonymous 105826

>Plans X event ahead, if what he planned doesn't happen he gets anxious, nervous, and tries to "auto-correct" his plan
This is litterally a telltale sign of the 'tism. Maybe not to the point it's a problem, but he's definitely in the spectrum.
Not that's

Anonymous 105828

There is nothing wrong and narcissistic about sharing trivia. At least not inherently. Knew one moid who would genuinely brag about reading wiki and watching youtube essays.

Anonymous 105836

Nah, sharing cool facts is fun. You're overanalyzing a normal way to talk to people.

Anonymous 105837

Not if the sharer is only sharing these facts to look smart or to receive some sort of perverse pleasure from half-hearted interest over their obsession.

Anonymous 105839


Huh, well, idk, no one never pointed it out, he's been to psychiatrists and psycologists before, idk really.
>Ask him to actually make moonshine for example. He won't be able to
Well…I did, this is one of the bottles from his latest
run at it, this one is made of sugar cane, he even gifted one to my father for some reason
He's not narcissistic about his big brain, or at least he does not intend to, he won't trick you into asking him difficult things or just randomly start spewing his 4000 year old Babylonian facts. He only shows the things he knows if the conversation is about said topic or if he is genuinely asked about said topic.

Anonymous 105840

What's his IQ?

Anonymous 105842

He's on 4chan then. And maybe discord

Anonymous 105845

I wish I had a smartie pants bf who can handle finances. I’d probably end up wasting $1000s on dumb useless shit like pop sockets :(

Anonymous 105846

Forgot to add I am too low IQ for a smart bf so I will never get one but I think that would be my number one priority so he could take good care of me. Are there guys out there who don’t mind a dumb gf ? I can only dream,,, a man like that probably would rather get a girlfriend who can keep up with him mentally and intellectually stimulate him

Anonymous 105847

166 , sorry for the wait, had to check on the documents
Nona, I'm not that smart either, I'm avarage, he does not like me because of what my brain does, I'm sure you'll find a bf who will stop you from buying $2000 in funko pops or miniatures

Anonymous 105849

Dayum if I had that IQ I’d learn multiple languages. What was he like as a child? Did he skip three grades?
I once dated a doctor with an IQ of 150 and he manipulated his third grade class into holding a student strike to get out of schoolwork kek. Peak anime villainery right there

Anonymous 105851

Pro: he’s really loving and touchy
Con:he’s really loving and touchy

Anonymous 105853

I meant that he likes me for reasons not related to my academic intelligence.
He knows English, Portuguese, German, Italian and Russian. As a child he clearly showed his gifts, I remember him writing and reading at 5 while most of the rest only got the hang of it at 8. Unfortunaly our country's school system does not allow smart kids to skip grades.
>Peak anime villainery right there
He once manipulated about 20 people into having different plans/disagreements with each other just so 7 of them could go watch a football match wit him (His team got trashed)

Anonymous 105854

>I remember him writing and reading at 5
So you knew him in first grade?

Anonymous 105855

Anonymous 105857

>childhood friend bf
>who's also a super genius
If he's never had sex with anyone else, you've won at life.

Anonymous 105858


Unfortunaly his idiotic dipshit uncle and cousin thought it would be a good idea to ultra gaslight him (literally threatening to call him homo to his whole family) into having intercourse with his friend's daughter during a party when he was 16 to "Make him a man sooner then later". I assume this is the reason for his half-battery sex drive but I'll never question him about it

Anonymous 105860

Well, we can't all be winners.
Personally, I'd rather have a 100 iq virgin than a 166 iq nonvirgin, all other things being equal.

Anonymous 105861

My kindness, the fact that we share many interests, my willingness to listen to some of his more complicated interests, my looks (From what his mom said), and that we just have a strong bond, I think
Well, unfortunaly these things happen, I'm not insecure about it, he was pressured into it, and he didn't like it, he has 0 contact with the bitch and does not wish to have.

Anonymous 105910

>very intelligent, with really good knowledge in his field
>very good looking and hot, even without working out muscles are showing
>a lot of interests and hobbies, always has something to talk about
>great sense of humor matching mine
>worldview and most of the opinions matching mine as well
>compliments me quite a lot
>very broad tastes in music, showed me a lot of stuff I listen to daily
>masters everything quite quickly

>overwhelmingly egoistic
>close to autistic in his hobbies, prone to bouts of depression and hyperactivity
>can be socially rude sometimes. I get that pleasing everyone shouldn't be a thing, but sometimes some politeness is great
>doesn't really love me/respect me. I mean he loves me to an extent, but after 5 years together I'm starting to think that he won't be able to love anyone deeply. Or he might find some unhinged genius girl who will ruin his life, but he knows that, so he won't

Anonymous 105915


I'll remember the deleted replies even if it's gone now.
It was damn funny.

Anonymous 105916

yeah too many nonas replied to the salty scrote kek

Anonymous 105919

What was deleted?

Anonymous 105920

Some scrote replying to the thread as if "her' supposed bf was this unreal super mega hot dilf who had no cons, and some nonas took time off replying to it

Anonymous 106157

>the ones with average-looking bfs don't post
>anons exaggerate the handsomeness of their bfs because they're super in love
>board is full of Stacies

Anonymous 106167


humans gotta gush and wear rose-tinted glasses to fall in love. i made the thread and included cons list because i'd like to see the struggles of dating and relationships. it helps me to see if i can get into a relationship with realities and objectivity, not blind gushiness.

i suppose this is a bf brag and bf complaint thread, it's cozy and one of my favorite types of threads to lurk as someone who is single and wants to observe and learn from others!

Anonymous 106204


>Very physically affectionate (cuddles, kisses, handholding, etc)
>Responsible and caring
>Not active on social media
>Physically fit and inspires me to eat well/work out
>First person to not sexually repulse me (this sounds like a low bar but it's actually very rare)
>Similar music taste to me
>Always on time
>Gets nerdy about stuff like Pokemon which is really cute to me

>Had a FWB before me (which makes me feel weird to think about, but it doesn't bother me a whole lot)
>Sometimes doesn't pick up on my jokes/sarcasm (we've only been dating for a month so this will probably improve over time)
>Weeaboo (jk but not really)
>Plays league
>He has a decently high libido and mine is pretty low

Can't tell if it's a pro or a con
>Calls me cutesy nicknames that are embarrassing but also really sweet??

Anonymous 106213

>Plays league
Euthanasia is the only option.

Anonymous 106228


>Plays league

>Always on time
>Likes Pokemon
>Not active on social media

He sounds perfect nona.
Except these cons could be pretty bad, so be careful.

>Had a FWB

>He has a decently high libido and mine is pretty low

Anonymous 106229

Seconding the FWB as a con. That would be a dealbreaker for me.

Anonymous 106253

Yeah, the fwb thing was like 3 years ago and he hasn't been with anyone since. (iirc I'm his first actual relationship.) It does feel strange because he told me they were doing some kinky shit that I'm not really used to or have ever seen/experienced (I've only ever been with one person before and he was vanilla incarnate).

Anyways, like I said, it was a long time ago, so I'm not going to let it bother me too much… crossing my fingers.

Anonymous 106258

Hey league is fun the upcoming season is gonna be so fun for farming junglers

Anonymous 106260

Tbh people change so quickly in three years assuming you’re both young (early 20s)
People are hornier and have no strings attached sex when they’re younger but gradually get into more loving deeper relationships with others
Just my observations and personal experience
Good luck nona he seems nice

Anonymous 106272

>Eh? He would fuck this girl with no feelings or emotions for her? With perverted and abnormal kinks?
>But it's okay! That was years ago! People change!
>He was young! It's just his nature! Boys will be boys!
There are plenty of moids who have not erred in this manner. He had every ability to do the same, and yet did not. Why, then, should he be judged as no less than they?
I don't deny people change. But, even so, the past still defines the present person. The criminal, years in prison, is still to be punished, even if he has changed. He is punished for his crime in the past.
I'll not forgive the most repentant moid. I will revile, condemn, and scorn, and hate even a moid who presently is perfect, if in his past were one abhorrent thing. Though he repents and weeps, seas of his tears will never cleanse him of the stain I see.

Anonymous 106277

Yeah age doesn't matter at all, if a male is capable of using women for sex that shows his character and that's not something that changes

Anonymous 106290

This just seems mutualistic, probably more parasitical. Clearly your life goals diverge too much to stay functional for long.

Anonymous 106339

break up with him now. danger to your vaginal hygiene (ref to eats his nails)

Anonymous 106345

>most affectionate guy i have ever been with
>makes me feel so loved
>i love him so much i cry sometimes

>im his first gf = he's not sexually experienced and sex is difficult sometimes
>long distance

Anonymous 106347

Its better to have a unexperienced bf then one whose had many sexual partners in the past, just ask yourself, would you like to drink a coke that everyone took a sip from?

Anonymous 106479

YouTube, articles, writing. Any plethora of the thousands of things you can do outside of social media

Anonymous 106480


Anonymous 106482

>presumably late teens or early 20s stumbling block which is already in the process of being rectified with a loving and long-term relationship

Repentance is an incredibly personal, coveted and case-by-case issue for people of both genders. Hold yourself to the same standards or be prepared to forever hold your tongue. This post reeks of conceitedness

Anonymous 106485

>late teens or early 20s stumbling block
I don't give a damn how young he was. He was perfectly capable of avoiding this "stumbling block". It's his fault and no one else's, not even his youth's, and therefore I will blame no one but him.
>already in the process of being rectified
Why should I waste my time with someone who's in the process of being rectified, when I can have someone who needs no rectification at all? I never did anything so vile. I deserve to be with the same. And can he be rectified? Even if he changes his heart, he will never change his memories, and therefore is he permanently defiled.
>Repentance is an incredibly case-by-case issue
Some things are simply unforgivable. Would you forgive a rapist? Would you forgive a mass murderer?
>Hold yourself to the same standards
Don't think I'm as disgusting as a moid.
>This post reeks of conceitedness.
You're goddamn right. I am superior to a moid by so much, I am so much better than he. My most vile act is less than ten thousandths that of the moid's.

Anonymous 106488

I hate moid sluts too but I don't think its comparable to rape and murder nona.

Anonymous 106489

Obviously rape and murder are way worse. I was only proving that some things are unforgivable by pointing out the extreme examples.

Anonymous 106490


>handsome face
>very funny and has similar humor to mine
>is super sweet to animals, is a cat person
>is super sweet and affectionate with me
>does little things i appreciate a lot (holds my heavy textbooks when we go to the library to study, holds my bags when shopping)
>doesnt let me pay for anything bc he wants to spoil me

>whenever i vent, he immediately tries solving the problem (even though sometimes i only just wanna complain to get it out my chest and move on)
>i think he spends a little too much time arguing on twitter
>he eats fast food almost daily
>he gained a lot of weight as a result and idk how to tell him he should look after himself better

i feel esp bad about the last one bc i use to be very fat myself until i started working out and eating healthier and lost 65 lbs. i feel like these are very easy fixes but it can only happen if he makes healthy decisions for himself.

Anonymous 106491

>whenever i vent, he immediately tries solving the problem (even though sometimes i only just wanna complain to get it out my chest and move on)
Why do moids always do this

Anonymous 106501

Trying to prove how smart they are + lower emotional intelligence than women

Anonymous 106539

Maybe it's because I have been growing up surrounded by men almost exclusively in my family, but I can't understand this complaint either. It comes up relatively often among my female peers and on the internet too and I've lost some friends over it.

If something causes you enough distress to constantly complain about it, then why won't you try and fix it? Or don't fix it but, at least, don't get freaking mad at people for trying to help you and accept it for what it is, an attempt to help.
Yeah, venting is perfectly fine and not every issue can be solved period. Yes, sometimes you can be emotionally unstable while venting and approaching it rationally might not be the best idea at that very moment.
But some people are clearly addicted to the empty emotional headpats and hugs. If you complain about something regularly, expect nothing but attention for it, and then proceed to cling to those issues and refuse to do the right but difficult part of actually trying to solve then, then you're an emotional parasite.

Anonymous 106561

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