/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Yes.
I'm not doing well now but I'm surely not in a desperate position, and I have relatively supportive parents. Despite all that, I still want to unalive. I've always been feeling this way since I was a child, and maybe the reason why I don't want to do it is because I just don't have any strong reason to. I used to be confused why but now I think it's just chronic emptiness, and a symptom of something neurotic that has no justification.

I also experience intrusive thoughts of wanting to jump off of rooftops or stab myself when I stand near sharp instruments but that's a different deal.

>>105498
glad someone else feels the same way. Man, this shit sucks. I hope things start to look up for you

>>105499
Thanks, and yeah, lol. It's one thing to identify a problem, then find a solution for it to make it go away, but it's something else when you're stuck with something and you just have to deal with it till you die.

You take care too!

>>105497
I wish this weren't so relatable.

Ivan Illich advised to go back to ascetic practice (fasting, meditation etc.) to ward off the stimulation overload of our world, and the loss of meaning that comes with it.
I find it true: remembering "nothing" is necessary to have a clear vision of our current life, full of mostly useless stuff we fail to notice.

>>105497

>does anyone else just want to commit suicide just because?

I'm chronically depressed so not usually, no. If I want to kill myself I know it's from that. Although sometimes I get so bored, that I wish I could just pull a Featherine by killing and reviving myself at will.

I feel similar in some way. I have one of the best lives of any people, but I know rationally that my good luck is fragile and there are many things worse than I can imagine that could befall me one day, and that chance isn't worth it. The most painful thing I've ever experienced is probably in my future rather than my past and I dread it. I don't see my life as sacred, not to sound like an edgy teenager, and a succesful suicide is one of the few things it is genuinely impossible to regret.
But that knowledge on its own is very hard to put into practice! I should but I think I won't until it's too late and then I will wish I had killed myself while I could have lived a whole life without suffering.

Honestly, I've come to the conclusion that suicide is the only rational choice. There's nothing unbearably bad in my life, but life itself just seems inherently not-worth-it. There's so many more things that will make you unhappy than happy, especially as you age. Unhappiness can be a constant state, while happiness is only fleeting. And unless you die from a sudden accident, the chances that you'll be unhappy when you pass are near 100%. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because my brain is a coward.

suicide is logically dumb
on the other hand you have Something, on the other - Nothing
what's the point
suicide is only good as an idea of your freedom as a person, of you having a possibility to end your existence

>>105699
Huh? What's bad about nothing? It's literally physically impossible to feel anything negative when you don't exist anymore

>>105699
>on the other hand you have Something, on the other - Nothing
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skin
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

>>105709
>>105700
>>105699
How do you hedge for the possibility that it's not nothing after death?

>>105718
Simple. I just don't believe in religious afterlife mumbo jumbo, lol.

>>105720
Yeah, I get that, but you have no way to be sure, so how do you hedge for it? Do you just hope there is nothing?
(see Pascal's wager)

>>105721
I honestly don't know how to answer this question but I'll try, lol.

Does afterlife exist?
- If I believe it doesn't, and it really doesn't, then no problem.
- If I believe it doesn't, and it does, then it's there's problems.

Do I reincarnate?
-If I don't retain my past experiences when I reincarnate, then it's pretty much a new life and my actions in my past life wouldn't matter.
- If I did retain my past experiences when I reincarnate, then I need to take responsibility for my actions of course.
- If the new life is better? It's a win.
- If the new life sucks? Rope and re-roll again.

Do I achieve a higher form and get sent to heaven, or hell?
- If this didn't happen, and there's just nothingness, then no problem.
- If this did happen, then I'm probably going to hell because suicide le bad. Horrific end.
- If I get sent to heaven, then happy. I can have tea parties and sleepovers with other angels in there.

Anyway, I believe that human consciousness is just a freak accident and we're all nothing but walking meat sacks made of meat, blood, piss and shit. There's no room for all these fantastical thinking for me. You die, your brain stops functioning, your body decays, and that's it. I won't call someone dumb for unaliving themselves because life can be such a bitch and people are done dealing with bullshit. That's just me though.

>>105718
1. I think the idea that there would be is really irrational and human, to the point that I can barely take it seriously.

2. Even if I wanted to care, it would be absolutely pointless because I won't follow silly religious rules on how to be a good girl, so I'm not getting rewarded by any of the currently hip religions.

3. I'll die anyway, who cares if the afterlife starts now or in 50 years

>>105674
Take Ivan's advice: pick up some books in the Gospel and start studying their messages. Ecclesiastes made me understand why I've always hated my life

I have to die there is nothing else left for me my body is decaying and my mind has been destroyed I have to do it.